My name is Durex

by Umair Sheikh

  “I thought you don’t like her?”

  Ah? Durex was stunned and immediately respond by nodding: “Where…” Sure enough her mood couldn’t escape the President’s piercing eyes, she now really thought that she was the White Bone Demon.

  “If you don’t hate her, then you are…. eating her vinegar?”

  Being questioned, Durex’s face became increasingly warm, she hang her head and sound like a mosquito: “You’re talking nonsense….” Okay, she admitted that she was slightly jealous, but a large part of her emotional outbreak was because of the President’s abominable attitude, which person can casually swallow this down and not even make a sound?

  An endless supply of body temperature flowed her clenched hands, it made her arm feel very hot. This unspeakable feeling, she didn’t know whether she was more angry or delighted.

  Seeing her like this, the initial anger Light Muller had completed disappeared, he also knows that this girl would not said anything if it wasn’t for Princess Hao pushing her to the edge and causing her to swear those oaths. However as soon as he saw her tacitly approve, his heart-felt slightly uncomfortable, he only just want to briefly scare her to let her know what she can say and what she can’t.

  But once he saw the expression Princess Hao had on her face the entire day, she appeared to suffer from injustice on the verge of tears. His heart couldn’t bear seeing her like this, so decided to leave her stay. He was not softhearted. After all, who stay and who should not leave, he has a very clear idea in his heart.

  Light Muller secretly sighed, he was quite helpless. Just when he wanted to say something, Durex was one step ahead of him and raise her head.

  “I’m hungry”

  Since the knot within her heart is untied, in the belly of a gas naturally diminished. And since there’s no gas, she immediately felt hungry. It’s all thanks to the President, if it wasn’t because of him, she wouldn’t have been so angry that she couldn’t eat even finish her dinner.

  “Get up, I asked Aunty Wu to make you some chicken soup.”

  This Chinese Angelica chicken soup that Aunty Wu made was very delicious. In succession, Durex drank three bowls, she also felt boundless, Light Muller only silently watched on the side.

  Once she ate until she was full. When Durex touched her full belly she just realised she has selfishly eaten it all, forgetting the President, she felt that she was

  .too rude so happily smiled and asked: “Would you like a bowl, it tastes very good.”

  Light Muller shook his head: “You eat a little more.”

  “I’m full,” Durex patted her belly, and it was round.

  “Have some more, this soup enriches the blood.”

  Enriches the blood? Durex recalled last night and her face heated up.

  At this time, Light Muller already moved and gave her a bowl of soup, placed in front of her: “Eat more, you’re too skinny.”

  Thin? Durex looked down at her tiny limbs, although she was small boned, but there’s still meat there, especially since she married the President, the food has increased, her body weight has also increased significantly.

  “No it’s not thin, you look at my arms, it’s all flesh!” Durex raised up her arm.

  “You’re thin!” Light Muller’s finger poked her arm and shook his head, “Embracing it feels uncomfortable.”

  Ka Cha——

  Someone felt fragmentation.

  Forget it, she better just drink her chicken soup.

  One gloup, two gloup, she really finished the bowl of soup.

  “I…I…I…I want to go to the toilet!” Durex said holding her stomach. Just as she wanted to rush to the toilet, she was too anxious and one of her slippers came off causing her to incidentally also pushed Old Yu’s beloved falangcai vase!

  “Oh! My vase!” Old Yu stood in the dark corner weeping bitterly..

  “Shhh!” Aunty Wu gesture him be quite as she whispered, “You don’t want your life? If young master were to discover we’ve been secretly peeking, even if death in avoidable our wages will be deducted!”

  Old Yu hurriedly covered his mouth, pitifully nodded his head.

  Sin ah! Since he reported the couple’s progress to the old madame, she was delighted. He thought since the two of them finally decided to settle down she no longer ordered others to spy on them, however he didn’t expect once the old madame was happy, it’ll ignite her desire to be noisy, she simply wanted to know the couple’s intimate details. Poor housekeeper Yu was an almost sixty year old man, Aunty Wu was also well over fifty, the two old pair secretly hid in the dark to witness their young master’s affectionate actions, it was really embarrassing!

  In the dark poor Old Yu’s face was covered in snot and tears while Light Muller has stood up from his chair and walked toward the Restroom.

  Arriving at the door entrance, Durex came out with a pale white face.

  Light Muller took advantage of the opportunity and pressed her up against the wall.

  The sudden movement shocked Durex: “You… what are you doing?”

  No it can’t be! Surely that sentence can’t be true, the last meal before beheaded?

  “Are you full?” Light Muller raised his eyebrows and asked.

  Indeed as expected he wanted to feed her then eat her ah! Durex suddenly felt a bit like a pig, happy to be kept by a man, the fed until she’s plump, only to discover her masted wanted to eat her.

  “No…” She desperately shook her head.

  Within Light Muller’s arms, he stretched out his fingers to lift her chin up: “From now on, do you still dare to say that words?”

  “What…. What words?” She was slightly nervous and ignorant.

  “Well?” Light Muller narrowed his eyes narrowed.

  “Do not dare! Do not dare!” Durex quickly continuously shook her head.

  “And if you were to speak such words again?”

  “If I was to say them again…..” Durex’s heart was anxious, her mouth spoke quickly and blurted out the following sentence, “If I was to say them again then the son I give birth to will have no asshole!”

  Light Muller’s face suddenly darken, he raised his hand: “You still dare to use my son to swear an oath, be careful of your little ass!”

  “Do not dare! Do not dare!” Scold, scold your head! A long time ago she said these a dozen of times. No, wait! What is your son? I obviously said it was my son. Whoops! What is all this ah?

  Durex was pondering the issues regarding whose son it is when the President suddenly grabbed her hand and ran upstairs.

  “What… what are you doing?”

  “Go back to the room, and make a son.”

  Ah? When Durex finally reacted, her face suddenly turned red, she hurriedly retreated a few steps and refused to go, “No, I’m not going!”

  “Why?” A shadow overcast Light Muller’s face.

  Durex hesitated before saying: “Just now…. one of my relatives came to see me.”

  Light Muller appeared dissatisfied: “Which relative?”

  She raised her head and looked at him awkwardly, “My aunt… aunty.”

  Basically Durex’s period came.

  Chapter 31: The President’s darling

  When a certain aunty suddenly decides to visit, originally the first few days will be most the painful days of the month for a woman, usually these was Durex’s most enjoyable days. However, it wasn’t because there was Aunty Wu stewing her chicken with angelica every day to enrich her blood, and the most importantly the President didn’t allow her to move.

  It should be that advertisement slogan: More dry, more comfortable, more at ease.

  In fact, although DLei’s EQ is slightly low, however she didn’t read romance novel for nothing, ever since that soul-stirring night… the President have been particularly good to her.

  Good to what extent you say?

  Using this analogy, previously if she accidentally provoke the President,
he would be unhappy. However now, if there was anything she was dissatisfied with she would complain a few words to Old Yu thus the President would accidentally hear this he would just smile and didn’t say anything further.

  Not even, previously the President who always spoke to her with a straight face, she didn’t know when… but he started to constantly smile in front of her and this smile of his had no hidden conspiracies.

  Here’s another example, previously the President never greeted her before leaving, now every morning he would say many sentences with her before leaving.

  In short, the President wasn’t the same as he used to be.

  But because of this, it has taken Durex by surprise.

  Every time she encounter Light Muller’s bottomless eyes, she couldn’t help but feel nervous. Upon seeing him lean over towards her, she couldn’t help but have the urge to avoid him. Even hearing his steady footsteps, her heart will involuntarily beat.

  So after a few days, Durex who have slept good and drank heaps that she suffered from a nervous breakdown.

  In order to heal her mental health, Durex decided to ask Google.

  The problem is like this—— if someone is always very overbearing towards you, even when there’s nothing he would put on a face. Also forcing you to do things that you don’t want to do. But suddenly one day, he began to treat you very well, never angry towards you instead always smiling at you, but you’re not accustom to these, why is that?

  Sign: “I’m annoyed, I’m bothered, I’m very superfluous and confused.”

  After she posted this, a few hours later, a few people have replied the post.

  I love the corner of the earth replied: “Foreign affairs shouldn’t be asked on Google, inner affairs shouldn’t be asked on Google, sexual affairs such as yours should ask Tianya! Sister, Tianya welcomes you!”

  Durex: “Sexual, Sexual affair your head!”

  I’m really is the real Wan Feng[1] another netizens replied: “This woman, your mind is really activate?”

  [1] Wan Feng is a famous Chinese TV host.

  Durex: “If you’re Wan Feng, then I’m Han Qiaosheng[2]! Be careful I’ll kick you into the volley, my headbutt will kill you!”

  [2] Han Qiaosheng is a famous sports commentator from CCTV.

  President Hou replied: “This is due to the radiation from the mobile phones, quickly buy our company’s phone sapphire mirror, it’s pure ItaLight designer art, filled with 99 Swarovski Crystal to ensure zero radiation. The price is only $999, if you forward it to twenty email, we’ll even offer a $300 discount, only $699!!! What? Still too expensive, we’ll even gift you a Bluetooth headset.”

  Durex: “Boss, come have a bowl of cow internal noodles.”

  Little Whip replied: “Needless to say, this kind of circumstance clearly state you have a tendency to abuse, admit it! In fact, you’re into SM!”

  Durex: “……”

  Like this, there was well over several dozen replied, Durex still couldn’t solve the unanswered questions within her heart. Just as she was ready to give, another reply came through.

  Xian Zi Celestial: “In my view, the man is in love with you.”

  When Durex saw this reply, it really shocked her, the President is in love with her? This…. How is this possible?

  From a hardware point of view: The President has a quarter of ItaLight descent, oriental noble temperament and a sexy Westerners body. Let’s not mention his face, just his six abdominal muscle alone she had no idea to stop her nosebleed. While she on the other hand was bland in appearance, her figure was average, and her chest is mediocre. In short, every part of her was mediocre and average…. how could the President be satisfied with her appearance?

  From a software point of view: There was no need to compare their family backgrounds, besides her dad constantly boosting about him being the forty-eighth generation descendant of DFu, her family didn’t have anything to bring to the table. Besides, in accordance with her dad’s algorithm, the President is likely to be the descendants of General JuLight Muller , as a result, her family didn’t have any advantages.

  Then there’s education point of view, she’s only an undergraduate journalism, naturally she couldn’t compare to the President who have studied overseas.

  While regarding personal abilities…

  Well forget it, this is simply absurd and inviting humiliation upon herself.

  After much deliberation, in the end Durex really couldn’t think of what point in her did the President took fancy in? It couldn’t be the President took fancy in her silly naiveness?

  “D, you are really too silly, too naive.” The words the President spoke months ago echoed in her ears, if he says it like this, then naturally she is too stupid?

  Even though the last possibility has been ruled out, Durex still couldn’t come to terms that the President have fallen for her.

  He would eat her, it should be because he has eaten too many white silky tofu and occasionally to wanted to change his taste so he ate a stinky tofu? Even though he is treating her very well now, but she’s afraid he’s only doing so because she’s still refreshing.

  Such a thought suddenly made Durex’s heart feel tasteless while her chest felt stuffy, unbearable and uncomfortable.

  She rolled out of bed and wore her slippers before wandering into the garden.

  Due to her ‘aunty’s’ visit, the President wouldn’t even allow her to return to work, he also said that a women’s body is virtual during this time so she should stay at home. If every time a woman needed to take time off work due to their ‘aunty’ visiting, then there’s a possibility that a financial crises may arise for a period of time.

  At noon, during summer the weather should be scorching hot. However, it just so happens these days a typhoon have swept the city, a few patches of rain resulted in a more comfortable weather.

  When Durex walked out of the house, Xiao Fang was in the courtyard washing the cars while Aunty Wu took her grandson Lightg Lightg to play by the water fountain.

  Upon seeing Durex coming out, Xiao Fang shivered: “Spare me Madame, don’t make me drive again!”

  Speaking of this, Durex also felt really ashamed. The day she simply pulled Xiao Fang into a turmoil, causing the two of them to be stranded at the not chicken not duck village. Later, on her own she sat on a cow’s cart rushing to meet the President, leaving Xiao Fang to wait for assistance, it does seem slightly excessive.

  But this can’t be entirely blame on her, if it wasn’t because the President inexplicably told her to pick him up from the airport then Xiao Fang also wouldn’t need to spend the afternoon in some remote village miserably surrounded by thirty something buffalos. In the end it was the President’s fault!

  Durex smiled at Xiao Fang: “Xiao Fang, you be rest assured! The car towing fee I will ask the President to reimburse you.”

  “Ah don’t!” Xiao Fang said anxiously, “Madame, you mustn’t tell the President that I drove you to the wrong place that day, if he knows, he’ll definitely fire me! I haven’t married yet!”

  Durex was a little embarrassed: “In fact the President is not so unreasonable, right?”

  “Madame, this is where you’re wrong, if it’s others the President at most would deduct my wages, however you’re different ah! You are the President’s wife, if he finds out that I almost lost you, then I’ll definitely lose my job.”

  “I’m….different?” Durex found this unimaginable.

  “Yes, that’s right!” Suddenly Aunty Wu came over and added, “Madame, you don’t know you’re our young master’s precious treasure?”

  Precious treasure?

  From what time did this happen?

  Aunty Wu cleared her throat and started to ceaselessly speak: “Madame, do you still remember the first day you moved in? Was there any difference between the dishes then and now?”

  Durex ignorantly asked: “What is the difference?”

  “Didn’t
you discover that the food was increasingly adjusted to your appetite?”

  If you put it this way, Durex also felt this was indeed true so she nodded, “It seems so….”

  “It’s not it appears so! It is certainly!” Aunty Wu waved her hands in the air, “From the first day you moved in, our young master commanded that I pay attention to your diet, stating that everyday I had to write down all the dishes like you, so you don’t have to eat dishes you’re not accustom to.”

  Once Aunty Wu finished speaking, Durex was left stunned.

  It turned out that…. the President is so attentive.

  “There’s more! Have you noticed the pillows on your bed? That moment you arrived, you suddenly mentioned that the pillow was a little too firm and couldn’t get a goodnight sleep. The next day your pillow suddenly became soft? That’s also young master’s orders that we change them at once!”

  Pillow?

  Durex also thought back to that day, once she slept… she slept all the way until noon. The President was so angry that he questioned why she slept so late, she couldn’t find an excuse, so she simply said pillow was too firm and couldn’t drift off to sleep that evening. She didn’t think such a careless excuse, he would also remember….

  She didn’t know why but her heart-felt warmth.

  “And also when our young master sent little Princess away, she was making a tearful scene, pulling our young master’s sleeve refusing to go. But our young master knew you would be angry, so he simply asked Lao Fang to carry Princess to the car and sent her home.”

  So like this, Durex sat in the courtyard, listening to Aunty Wu talk about the good things the President have done for her. After she finished to them all, Durex felt confused. Could it be she was really heartless to such extent? When there’s was such a good President besides her, yet unexpectedly she have been constantly wary of him….

  Just as she was pondering, Aunty Wu has already finished her praises: “Madame, right now you are our young master’s the most precious treasure!”