My name is Durex

by Umair Sheikh

  “What good thing would there be at such a place ah? It’s not like you’re going to Jinhua, I can still ask you to bring me back a ham or two. Oh, that’s right! Whenever you go to Jinhua, can you buy a ham or two for your dad? Your dad loves ham…… Blah blah……”

  “Mom!”

  “Okay, I’m not going to joke with you! In fact, as long as you bring me back a grandson, it doesn’t matter what form or shape it is, when you return to the country you can slowly grow……”

  Durex: -_-|||

  After she finished the call with her mother, the next day everything was ready, DLei Su finally abroad the flights to Italy, taking her first step toward the world.

  On the plane, Durex felt very excited, her two eyes explore non-stop.

  On the side Light Muller smiled while reminding her: “Sit still, we’re about to take off.”

  “Oh.” Durex poke her tongue out and quiet down.

  However not long after, she started to become restless again.

  “What’s wrong?” Light Muller turned to the side and saw Durex using her fingers to knead his arm.

  Durex had a thief like expression as she said: “Have you noticed that the flight attendant keeps on staying besides us?”

  Light Muller raised his eyebrows: “She has?”

  Yes! Absolutely! She has observed for a long time, not only did the flight attendant wander around, also from time to time she would diligently ask if the President needed this or that.

  “Could it be you’re jealous?”

  “……” President, why must you use such words to speak every single time?

  Whether she’s jealous or not Durex doesn’t know, however she is not pleased with the flight attendant’s attitude she used while servicing them. Whatever the outcome is she also bought a plane ticket, earning a person money, yet also wanting to take advantage of the person? Even when you want to go into a theatre you must purchase a ticket, this flight attendant wants to perv on the President free of charge? No way!

  For this reason, Durex decided she would try again, she would surely kill the flight attendant with her eyes!

  Unfortunately, the flight attendants who came a few times have been rebuffed by Light Muller’s words. The flight attendant was also born with some intelligence, after being rejected two or three times she only peaked at the doorway a couple of times. Although the piece of meat was a fat one, however it was too raw, eating it can easily cause diarrhoea! As a new era women, before making an investment one must estimate the risks, if the risk is too big with little revenue, you’ll suffer huge losses!

  Thereupon, for the longest time Durex’s staring has been useless, after staring for a while, she had trouble keeping her eyes open.

  You can’t blame her for being so excited last night, she was constantly thinking of what to pack, incidentally she came across an article《Roman Holiday》, it’s a Chinese version of “Audrey Hepburn” thus she end up reading it all night. As a result, currently she is seriously lacking sleep.

  During Durex’s sleepy state, occasionally her consciousness gradually dim when suddenly a graceful voice penetrated into her ear: “Excuse me sir, would you like something to drink?”

  It was that flight attendant again!

  Durex was suddenly regain some of her consciousness, originally she intended to shoot some glares over until she heard another sound came through: “Hot coffee.” This voice wasn’t Light Muller, but it sound somewhat familiar. A moment later Durex was fully woken by this, because the voice behind added, “I have to trouble you then, beautiful.”

  Addressing any one as beautiful, this extremely overwhelm feeling, Durex could only think of two people, one is Xia Kun, while the other is Xiao Yin.

  Just as Xiao Yin was appreciating the beautiful girl’s sawying figure, he suddenly felt an eye shoot over towards him, turning to the side he was confronted with two blood streaks, her panda like eyes jump with fright, then, he suddenly felt his lower body aching.

  This feeling was hard to forget!

  He wrinkled his eyebrow while staring at Durex: “Darling, do you know what is called serendipity?”

  For no particular reason, Durex felt a burst of nausea.

  “Why is it you?” At this time Light Muller also discovered Xiao Yin’s presence, he couldn’t help but frowned slightly.

  Xiao Yin wasn’t in a hurry nor appear panicked as he said: “Don’t wrinkled your eyebrows at me, I am not a tiger.” It’s hard not wanting to eat your wife.

  Light Chun snorted at Xiao Yin’s remarks.

  Durex found the atmosphere was not quite right, although last time she got drunk she still didn’t know what happened that day, however she faintly felt she could have miss some things that happened, why else later would the President repeatedly give her the cold face and avoided her questions?

  In order to resolve the embarrassment, Durex awkwardly laughed and asked Xiao Yin: “Are you also travelling to Italy?”

  Xiao Yin gave her a wink and replied, “What do you think?”

  Think your head ah! If you’re not going to to Italy, then are you ready to jump midway off the plan? Durex wanted to scold, but on second thought, she thought the question itself was very boring.

  “Why don’t you ask why I’m travelling there?”

  “Well…… why are you travelling there?”

  “I’m not telling you!”

  A flock of crows flew over from her head……

  At this time, the flight attendant came over with the coffee, she swayed her hips as she made her way over, staring at Xiao Yin, she enthusiastically smiled: “Sir, your coffee ~ ~ ~”

  “So sweet!” Xiao Yin enchanted a breathe of air, unapologetically he praised her, “this cup of coffee is a beautiful and as fragrant as you.”

  *Feeling nausea——

  Durex almost spit out the dinner she ate last night.

  However the beautiful flight attendant sister accepted his flirting methods, she laughed like a blossoming flower. You couldn’t blame her, the guy was also a handsome man, being rejected by Light Muller a few times, it felt good to receive special attention from a flower boy beauty. Comparing the two, the difference was even more obvious.

  Once the beauty is pleased, she’ll be like a Orioles modulating: “Sir, is there anything else you would like?”

  “Please give this lady a piece of cake and a glass of juice.”

  “This young lady on the side?” Why is she pointing towards me? Durex glanced at Xiao Yin, it seems that he is indeed referring to her.

  “Also that young lady is already a married woman.” Light Muller suddenly rather baffling added.

  Durex was stunned for a moment, before firing up: “What married woman? You are an uncle! This girl here is eighteen year after year, I’m an unmarried young woman!”

  As just she finished speaking, Durex felt Light Muller’s extremely distorted expression from three metres away, he appeared to have a pair of placid appearance, and lightly reminded her: “Wifey, you are already married women.”

  President, euphemism is a virtue, didn’t the teacher teach you that?

  >____<

  “Miss, your dessert.” When the flight attendant placed the strawberry cake and pineapple juice in front of Durex, Durex obviously felt that the flight attendant actually wanted to shout “married women” instead.

  But this is not important, regardless if it’s unmarried young women or married women, that is all meaningless! The piece of cake and a cup of juice is the real deal!

  Durex couldn’t help lit her eyes, ready to dig in.

  “Hehe.”

  A double cough interrupted her appetite, Durex turned her to head to look at the President’s threatening eyes, his eyes are clearly saying—— if she dare to eat it then she’s dead!

  This one stare abruptly forced Durex’s aroused appetite to disappear, she could only shout in her mind: Let go of the cake and juice, they are only child
ren.

  “Darling, is the food not to your liking?” Xiao Yin aske.

  Durex embarrassingly smiled: “During breakfast…… I ate too much……”

  Being in front of the two things and not eating them is simply not giving Xiao Yin any face, so Durex could only stare at the food in a daze, after staring for a while, she suddenly realized something.

  Strawberry Cake? Pineapple juice?

  Strawberry, pineapple, strawberry, pineapple, strawberry, pineapple……

  Oh my god! Simply too wicked.

  Chapter 48: If I can’t save you, then I’ll sink to the bottom with you.

  Thanks to the President and Xiao Yin’s converging attacks, the originally safe road have unexpectedly become dangerous, during the entire journey Durex was frightened, not only did she suffer from the President’s threatening glaze, but she also suffered Xiao Yin’s verbal harassment, relentlessly trying to fight both side for ten hours, when the plane almost reached its destination, she barely slept.

  Once she slept, she slept very deeply, she wasn’t even unaware when the plane touched down, dazedly she heard voices and sounds of a car and hints of the water running, then she had no other perception of her surroundings.

  Durex had a dream, she dreamt that she was surrounding by water, sitting on the narrow small boat, besides her was the President and his mother. The small boat kept on wobbly, if one wasn’t careful it appear you’ll tip over the edge and turn the boat. At this time, Light Anna suddenly asked Light Muller: “If the boat was to turn over, would you save your wife or me first?”

  Durex nervously waiting for Light Muller’s reaction, he looked at her and then looked at Light Anna, however he did not speak.

  “Say it!” Light Anna urged, her eyes was filled with a provocative intent.

  “Of course I’ll save……” Light Muller said and quite profoundly stared at Durex.

  Save who? Quickly speak! Durex urged him in her heart.

  “I’ll save my mother.”

  Once he said this the small boat turned over.

  “Save me! Please help me!” Durex’s hands kept on flopping about in the water, before her was just the scenery of water, she vaguely could see the President and Light Anna’s face. They were sitting in the small boat, staring at her indifferently.

  “D? D!” A familiar voice came into her ear, there was a sense of hurry in the tone, “D, quickly wake up! D……”

  Durex opened her eyes and stared at Light Muller with a pair of anxious eyes.

  “Hubby!” Durex grabbed his hand, still suffering from the shock.

  Light Muller’s mood suddenly became very good, since Durex blurted out the word ‘hubby’: “What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare? You’re already a grown adult, yet your reaction is earth shattering due to having a nightmare. If one didn’t know they would have thought you’ve felt into the water.” He suddenly stopped what he was saying, because he suddenly realised Durex appeared to be acting very strange.

  “What’s wrong?” He asked.

  “If your mother and I both fell into the water, which one would you save first?”

  Light Muller didn’t know what just happened so he asked: “Why you suddenly ask?”

  “Don’t ask why, just answer me!” Durex urged, her heart also felt tense.

  Light Muller didn’t directly answer her question, he asked in return: “If your dad and I fell into the water, which one would you save first?”

  He directed the question to her! Durex was slightly dense for a while before she truthfully answered: “My dad.”

  “Me too.” Light Muller answered dismissively: “I will also save my mother first.”

  Obviously, it was the expected answer, however Durex’s heart couldn’t help but feel lonely, filled with disappointment as she lowered her head. Just like the dream, he would save his mother first……

  “But.” She heard Light Muller’s voice once again, “if I can’t save you, then I will sink to the bottom with you.”

  Durex froze hearing this.

  He said that he would sink to the bottom with her……

  She felt like there seemed to be something rushing out of the cocoon within her heart, rushing towards her head, making her nose sour and her eyes swollen.

  “D, you won’t be so easily moved, right?”

  Durex regain her sense and paid attention to Light Muller’s mocking smile: “Who, who said I was moved by your words?” She said with some guilt, her eyes flustered at her surroundings.

  Suddenly, her chin came into contact with his hands, the strength wasn’t hard, yet she had no choice but to stare at him.

  “Speak, are you moved or not?” He asked.

  Who would be moved by someone clutching onto their chin? President, you are really sick!

  “If you are moved, I don’t mind if you repay me with your body.” He said, as he reached out his tentacles to touch the buttons on her shirt.

  When Durex reacted, she tried to withdraw her blushed face: “This…… I…… I haven’t full woken yet.” After saying this, she quickly drilled into the quilt.

  But after all, she wasn’t loach fish, her surface wasn’t covered in mucilage, very soon she was captured by the President and her entire body was tightly pressed down.

  Durex suddenly had the sense of being captured within the fish net, and the President was the fisherman holding the net waiting for her the silly small fish to swim into his trap, as long as he pulled the net—— she, the prey was easily captured!

  Durex deeply felt that if she didn’t attack at this time, then probably within this lifetime she would be pinned beneath him.

  “I want to be on top!” She haven’t finished her sentence, yet she already felt regret. Because she had originally thought that the President would sure to be angry, however she did not think, not only did he laugh, his laughter was particularly excessive.

  “D, you can’t regret what you just said.”

  Durex wanted to cry: “I’m…… I’m already regretting….. it!”

  Once she cried, his hand has already picked her up by the waist, and turned over, miraculously their posture have switched, she was on top while he was beneath.

  “Let’s begin.” He said in a relaxed tone.

  Durex obviously felt his hard body under her body, her entire face blushed.

  “I…… I…… I……” She said I several times in a row, yet she still couldn’t finish saying the words she wanted to convey, when she looked at Light Muller’s face again, he gave her the “this is what you wanted” look, staring at her as if his waiting to watch a good play.

  “Why haven’t you started moving?” Light Muller asked.

  Durex swallowed her saliva, in her heart she began to make calculations: Since she have already spoken this big lies, she had no other choice to be on top, if she doesn’t then she’ll be underneath, however she’ll suffer a torture worst than being alive! It is better to be a little bit more dignified!

  “Who said I won’t move? I’m just thinking about which button to take off first.”

  “Have you finished considering?”

  “Yes, yes.” She said, with her trembling hands, she clutched the first button on his shirt. Undoing the first, second and third……. When all of the buttons have been done, solved when, naturally she glanced at his strong chest.

  Durex deeply feel that the President is training her to be numb, seeing this attractive chest, she didn’t suffer a nosebleed!

  Light Muller placed one hand on his head, interestingly looking forward to her performances.

  “And what’s next?” He asked.

  “What’s the rush?” She gave him a look, then moving her vision to the zipper on his trousers, and her eyes were drawn to the swelling buldge.

  Then her blood started rushing, she felt her impulse nosebleed was returning!

  Durex suddenly felt that her mouth was parched and tongue was scorched.

&
nbsp; “I want to apply to have a glass of water and then continue,” She raised her hand.

  Light Muller frowned: “Not approved.”

  “Why not ah? Before one’s being beheaded they would be offered a full meal! This won’t be, I need to drink water! I want to drink water, drink water, drink water, drink water…….”

  “Then you go drink some water.” Light Muller very reluctantly sigh, then helplessly watched her skid away from his own body and climb down, running away to fetch her water.

  This girl, really know how to torture a person!

  Light Muller did not expect Durex’s torturing skill was so skilled, drinking a cup of water nearly took her half an hour! Seeing his desires quickly extinguished, he finally couldn’t help but get up from the bed, to see what the hell she was doing.

  Walking out of the bedroom, it was pitch dark, not a sight of her shadow could be seen.

  “D?” He called in the empty space.

  “En……” A indistinctive voice replied.

  “Where are you?”

  “En……” This time the reply was slightly louder, he followed her voice and finally found Durex sitting behind the wine cabinet, holding a bottle of wine.

  “Did you drink?”

  “En.” She nodded her head in a daze.

  Light Muller leaned over and took the bottle from her hand, it was empty.

  “I just want to drink some alcohol to increase my courage, when I finished drinking I only discovered this alcohol starts with a W, say… isn’t this whisky? I don’t drink strong liquor.” Durex appeared to be talking to herself, her eyes seemed blurred.

  “Get up.” Light Muller placed the heavy empty bottle of whiskey aside, he was obviously angry, one bottle, one whole bottle of whiskey! He couldn’t believe she drank this all on her own! If he don’t come out, it is estimated that she might even open another bottle of brandy.

  “Don’t help me.” Durex used him to stand up, “I’m not drunk.” She said, and stared at Light Muller, before suddenly asking. “We still haven’t done it, right?”