Against Her Will

by Peter Martin

  ‘What difference does that make?’ She was puzzled, and a little irritated.

  ‘Well, that’s the town of Mosford. Very pretty, don’t you think? There just happens to be a train station there. We hop on the train with our bikes, get off at the second stop, Wydesley, then ride back to Bodwick Green, about a mile away from where we parked the car. Now do you get it?’

  ‘I suppose, but I’m warning you, if this is a wild goose chase there’ll be trouble.’ She wagged a finger at him.

  He just smiled, then continued to cycle. She followed.

  Forty five minutes later, after their short train journey from Mosford, they were stepping on to the platform at Wydesley. And as they walked through the village Donna felt a pang of hunger and decided she couldn’t take another step. ‘Evan, I’m famished, isn’t there anywhere to eat in this damned place?’

  ‘There’s a pub around the corner,’ he said pointing to his left.

  ‘Doesn’t that rather defeat the object?’

  ‘Yes, but at least we won’t put any weight on,’ he laughed as they approached the old half-timbered pub. There was a beer garden round the back, where they took their bikes. While Evan went inside the pub to order a meal and get them a drink, Donna found a table with a sun umbrella.

  The garden was deserted and for a few fleeting seconds on her own in a place she hadn’t been to before, came a strong urge in the pit of her stomach to run away, as panic swept through her. The memories of her attacker came back vividly and even now feared he might be lurking in the undergrowth.

  When Evan returned with the drinks, looking quite pleased with himself, Donna’s tension slowly melted away into the background.

  ‘Are you all right Donna, you seem a little flushed?’

  ‘Yes I’m fine, just thinking back to something that happened in my past.’

  ‘Well, whatever it was, try to forget it. Don’t let it spoil your day – eh?’

  She gave him an uneasy smile, but once the meal came they both seemed to be more interested in eating their meal of steak, chips and peas. After that she began to relax in his company.

  ‘So how was your food?’ he asked her finally.

  ‘Very nice, I enjoyed it.’ The evidence of an empty plate was there in front of her.

  ‘Want to come back to my house again afterwards? Theresa keeps asking about you - she’d love to see you again. She really likes you, you know.’

  Donna was taken aback. But was this just a ploy to get her to go to his house.

  ‘Maybe, but I am rather tired. My legs are killing me. And anyway I’m not sure I’m worthy of her friendship.’

  ‘Oh come on - don’t be so hard on yourself. A little bird told me you’re quite a brainbox, and you have a degree in Mathematics, first class I believe. That’s something to be proud of, isn’t it?’

  ‘And who’s told you that?’ It was as if this was a secret no one should know about.

  ‘The doc.’

  ‘It seems to me Doctor Reynolds is very good at revealing things about people. She’s even told me a thing or two about you.’ An ironic smile formed on her face.

  ‘Has she now? All right, so what did she say?’

  When she told him, his eyes widened with surprise or was it shock – Donna couldn’t be sure.

  ‘Well I never. In that case, maybe I should tell you the full story. Naturally, I was devastated when I learned I’d never play football again, so much so that I turned to drink and drugs, and almost killed myself one night in the process. Only the quick thinking of an off-duty police officer, who found me unconscious in a pub car park, saved my life.

  ‘It took me a long time to get back on the straight and narrow, but I through the job I have now, I’ve regained my self-respect. I had to stop feeling sorry for myself.’

  ‘I can see you’ve had quite a few troubles of your own – haven’t you?’

  ‘Not only my own troubles but dad dying and Cole’s problems as well. He was a tearaway when he was young and went off the rails in a big way. He couldn’t keep a job and kept getting into fights and had the police after him too. Luckily mum got him into the army, or he might have ended up in prison. In fact, even now when he comes home on leave, he goes on a bit of a bender. To let his hair down, he says.’

  Donna raised her eyebrows.

  ‘I don’t suppose you’ll want me to take you out again now you know all this.’ Biting his top lip and stroking the back of his head, he waited nervously for a reply.

  ‘Evan, everybody’s human after all. It just proves you and your family are like the rest of us.’

  ‘Now you can see I do have some idea of what you’re going through, having experienced something similar myself.’

  She sat back in her chair, went quiet; unable to look at him straight in the eye. ‘I don’t think you do, Evan. You can’t begin to imagine – nobody can.’

  ‘Well, as I said before, if you want to tell me about it, I’m a very good listener.’

  Donna shook her head vigorously. ‘I’d like to go now, please.’

  He didn’t say much after that, wary it seemed, that to pursue the matter would only cause more trouble.

  When they arrived back at Evan’s house later that afternoon, the weather had suddenly changed to torrential rain. Hurriedly, they ran towards the house. Donna was impressed when he gave her his coat to shelter under. He opened the door, allowing her to go in first.

  There was music coming from the living room, a keyboard by the sounds of it, which could only belong to one person – Theresa. As Evan opened the door, they stood by the doorway, taking in the scene – Theresa at her keyboard playing a melodic tune, their mother sitting on the sofa enthralled. They were captivated by the beauty of the music.

  Theresa’s face lit up when Donna entered the room, she smiled at her with affection, but carried on playing until the piece was finished, highly delighted with her audience.

  At the end of it, they clapped and cheered loudly, their eyes and faces beaming with pleasure. When Donna told her how brilliant she was, Theresa looked thrilled to bits, and her eyes sparkled. She even blushed slightly.

  Donna felt so sorry for her. If only someone had a magic potion to get rid of her terrible affliction.

  ‘Theresa, you are so talented. Has it always been that way?’

  ‘I’ve always had a deep interest in music, ever since I was a little girl. I remember having a keyboard when I was about five or six and I used to have lessons. Before long, I only had to hear a tune and I could play it. I stopped playing when dad was ill, and then after he died, I took it up again, to help me get over his death. And lately having had to give up work, I’ve got into it even more. I’d play all day and all night if that was possible. It’s amazing, but it’s only in the last year or so that these tunes have been popping into my head. I don’t know where they come from, but I’m glad they do.’

  ‘So why don’t you do something about it?’ Donna suggested, thinking what a shame this talent had only been heard by three people.

  ‘Like what?’ Theresa’s face was full of uncertainty.

  ‘How about making a tape or a CD and sending it out to someone? Like to a radio station or a record company or even television programme. We could also include some info on you. You never know what might happen.’

  ‘Hey, that’s a brilliant idea, so long as Theresa doesn’t mind being in the limelight,’ Evan agreed nodding, then looking at his mother said. ‘What do you reckon mum?’

  ‘That’s a difficult question.’ She looked strangely frightened by the suggestion. ‘I don’t want lots of people staring at my little girl.’

  ‘I don’t mind, honestly mum. Let them think what they want – I don’t care. It used to hurt me, but not anymore. I am what I am and if people can’t accept me, then I feel sorry for them. I promise you that deep down inside I have so much music in me. It makes me feel better, and if I can bring a little joy to somebody’s life, then it’ll be worth it – don’t you think?’ Th
eresa’s spirits seemed to be lifted by Donna’s suggestion.

  ‘Yes, I do. That’s if you’re game, sis? You have a special talent, so why don’t we arrange to make a demo tape of you and then see what happens.’

  ‘But first let’s make sure it’s what you really want to do. I don’t want you to feel you’re being pushed into it, like I always did.’ Donna was sure, from the way Theresa reacted to her suggestion, that this was what she’d wanted all along – it just needed someone to bring it out in her.

  ‘Are you sure this is a good idea mum?’ Evan said turning to her, but she was biting her lip, as if torn between the two options.

  ‘I’m mixed up inside. My heart says yes, but my head says to be very careful.’

  Theresa face dropped slightly at her mother’s attitude. Which was understandable – it was natural for a mother to worry over her daughter, especially one in such a predicament.

  ‘Look, I know you all want to protect me, but I’m a big girl now. I can take what anybody throws at me. I’m no longer frightened of people staring at me. I know I’m going to die sooner rather than later, but while I’m still here, I’d like to leave my mark even if it is only a small one. I don’t want to die, but I accept it now, even though I hate the pain. As I see it, I’ll be going to a better place, my only regret is that I won’t be seeing any of you again.’

  ‘Please don’t talk like that, Theresa. It does no one any good to dwell on what might or might not happen in the future,’ their mother said, torment and hurt showing on her grey worn face.

  Donna felt for Theresa, but at the same time admired her courage and wished she could acquire just an ounce of that. Perhaps she could draw on her bravery for inspiration. She really wanted to help and thereby regain a little self-respect.

  As time wore on and after further deliberations, Evan said they should get back to the hospital, but just before leaving, Donna promised Theresa she’d visit again as soon as possible.

  Chapter 18

  FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE SHE COULD REMEMBER, DONNA FELT SOMETHING RESEMBLING NORMALITY. Her desire to hurt herself, fatally or otherwise had gradually receded. She told Doctor Reynolds this at one of their sessions, and guessed the doctor would relay this to her parents, who had so far remained discreetly in the background. Donna was glad they weren’t around, because if there were, her relationship with them would soon become strained, along with her own state of mind. Despite them paying for her stay in hospital, she found it difficult to forget the pressure they’d placed her under in the past, and the miserable existence she’d endured during her early and teen years.

  She knew, perhaps thanks to Doctor Reynolds initially, that Evan and his family had made a big difference to her life, and now looked forward to being in his company. While continuing to keep him at arm’s length, she considered him a good friend, as were the rest of the family, who’d made her feel welcome, without probing into her past. They’d treated her like one of the family. How she wished her own parents had been more like them.

  <><><>

  Two weeks later, Evan and Donna were just about to drive over to the Derndale Hills for a hike, when, as they walked to the car, Evan said, ‘Hey, you’ll never guess what?’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘You won’t believe this in a million years. You know I sent a tape of Theresa to the local TV station –’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well, mum told me before I came to pick you up. It seems someone from the TV Company phoned, wanting to send a TV crew round to talk to Theresa, and listen to her play as well.’

  ‘Oh Evan, that’s fantastic news!’ Donna clapped her hands with glee. ‘What does Theresa think about it?’

  ‘She’s over the moon, but frightened she’ll be extremely nervous. I reckon she’ll be all right, but she’s bound to worry over what people will say about her when she’s pushed into the spotlight. Everyone will be shocked when they see her – but hopefully they’ll have the sense to see beyond her disfigurement.’

  ‘I agree it’s going to be difficult to bear, but knowing how brave she is, I’m sure she’ll pull it off.’

  ‘Hope you’re right.’ He scratched the back of his head, then seemed deep in thought. ‘Er…would you object to being present when the TV guys show up? Theresa wants you with her; she says she feels more secure when you’re there.’

  Donna was surprised Theresa had asked her to be there, but was also fearful as she had an aversion to anyone from the media, remembering what had happened in the past. But, she couldn’t let Theresa down; that was unthinkable.

  ‘Of course Evan, I’d consider it an honour.’ Was her answer.

  <> <> <>

  It was three o’clock at 23 Harvest Road. They were all sitting waiting, when the doorbell rang for what seemed like forever. Donna got the impression they wanted her to get up first and answer the door. So reluctantly she did. Standing there before her was Toby Morton, who she recognised from local television, and a crew of three who would presumably film Theresa.

  ‘Hallo there,’ Toby, a tall grey haired man with a sickly smile said to Donna, as he looked her up and down.

  ‘I take it you’ve come to meet Theresa?’

  ‘We have. Pity you’re not her, but obviously you’re not.’ Toby grinned at his companions.

  ‘Well, if I was, there wouldn’t be a story, would there?’ Was her sharp reply, raising her eyebrows with disapproval. ‘You’d better come in.’

  Donna felt a little uncomfortable as she led these typical media type people through into the living room, where Theresa, her mother and Evan were sitting on the sofa together.

  Theresa wore a flowered blouse over her jeans. Her long brown hair had been freshly washed and worn loose, perhaps a futile attempt to hide her deformity.

  ‘This is Theresa,’ Donna said holding out a hand to introduce her friend, thinking how extremely beautiful she must have been before her illness.

  There was a split second expression of shock, then a look of pity appeared on Toby’s face.

  ‘Hallo Theresa, it’s great to meet you.’ He offered her his hand, which she shook delicately. ‘Your brother wrote in, telling us all about you, your condition and your gift for music. The tape he sent was so beautiful, we had to ask for an interview. So I’m here to talk to you and hear your wonderful music for myself. This is a great human interest story, so are you willing to speak to us, perhaps even play as well?’

  Theresa nodded unable to meet Toby’s gaze.

  It was a hive of activity as Toby and his gang set up their equipment, placing the cameras and microphones in readiness. Of course any audience Theresa played to, would at some point see her deformity, but Donna hoped and prayed the filming would be sympathetic to her condition.

  In the weeks she’d known Theresa, Donna had developed a deep compassion towards her and the last thing she wanted was for her friend to be traumatised by this experience. So she would keep a close eye on the proceedings and intervene if she felt it necessary.

  Toby sat next to Theresa on the sofa to discuss what she felt comfortable talking about in front of the cameras. Donna, Evan and his mother got up and stood behind to listen and give support if need be. Finally at Toby’s signal the interview began thus, ‘Obviously we’d here to talk about your music Theresa, but anyone seeing you can’t help but notice of your condition. Would you like to tell us a bit about it?’ His face was expressionless.

  ‘About five years ago I noticed the left side of my face had swelled up with a type of hard tissue. It didn’t hurt at first, but when it started to get bigger I got worried. Mum came with me to see a doctor, who after examining me, sent me straight to hospital. They took skin samples of the growth and eventually I was diagnosed as having malignant facial cancer. Although slow growing, it was inoperable, and they said I had between one to three years to live.

  ‘It’s become more painful in the last few months, but they’ve given me something to help ease this. However, apart from a few dizzy
spells, I’ve been able to live a relatively normal life.’

  ‘It must have been so distressing for you. How did you manage to cope?’

  ‘That’s a good question - I’ve had to I suppose. At first, I was so self-conscious. I used to hide myself away from people, but I soon realised that was the wrong thing to do. I’ve got to be positive, after all I can still function as a human being and do most of the things other people can do. Although I can’t work anymore now, I thought with the time I’ve got left, I’d pursue a lifetime’s ambition of mine - to write and play music. So that’s what I’ve been doing.’

  ‘I’m told you play the keyboard, piano, and guitar. Having listened to your tape, all the office commented on how beautiful it is. Any chance of giving us a live sample of your work?’ He asked politely which seemed to impress Theresa.

  Donna watched a hint of a shy smile come on Theresa’s face, then she went to the back of the room, to help Evan move the keyboard forward. After a few minute’s hesitation, Theresa began to play. It was one of her own compositions starting slowly with a delicate melody gradually building to a crescendo which left her audience in awe of the beauty of the piece.

  ‘Theresa, that was truly wonderful. Incredible that someone so young has such an ear for music. Is there anything else you’d like to play for us?’ Toby asked.

  ‘Yes, I can play a selection of my favourite tunes, which you will no doubt recognise, and then a few more of my own compositions.’ Her confidence was growing.

  She played a few classical tracks and music from popular modern pieces. Then came more of her own melodies, sounding as good if not better than the well-known tunes. The music went on for over half an hour.

  By the end of it, she had everyone clapping and cheering with emotion on their faces; especially Evan and his mother.

  ‘Theresa, I’d like to thank you so much for allowing us to hear you play. It was delightful. My sincerest best wishes for your future. Once our viewers have seen this, they’ll realise you have a great talent,’ Toby said.