Worth the Risk

by Lindsay Paige

  “Do you really think they would?”

  I give him a look. “They made Henry choose between Jackson and his trust fund and his position within their company,” I tell him. “Yes, they’d do that. They also have way more money than I could ever dream of having. They could pull strings and snatch him from me in a heartbeat, I bet.”

  Elias reaches over and takes my hand, interlocking our fingers together. “You’re his mother and the only family he knows. No one would hurt Jackson like that. And my gut tells me Henry wouldn’t let them either.” He glances over at me. “My gut is never wrong. Don’t worry about it, Raelynn.”

  Stressed by this entire thing, I decide we need to change the topic, so I raise an eyebrow. “You listen to your gut?”

  He grins. “All the time. That gut instinct is why you got this job. When I don’t listen to it, bad shit happens.”

  He’s intrigued me now. “Like what?”

  “One time, I woke up and had this feeling that I didn’t need to go to school that day. I went anyway and got into a wreck on the way there.”

  Whoa. That’s kinda freaky. Elias arrives at the mall, gets Bree’s stroller out, and as we head inside, he asks, “So, what do you want for Christmas?”

  I frown. “What?”

  He smiles at me. “You see, Raelynn, on Christmas morning, people open gifts. Most people make a wishlist. I’m asking what would be on yours.”

  “I don’t have a wishlist. I don’t need anything. Jackson is the only one who gets presents.” And he only gets a few because money has always been tight. “What are you getting Bree for her first Christmas?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know. Something to kick off our Christmas traditions is all I know for sure. She doesn’t really need anything and at this point, she can unwrap an empty box and it’ll make her laugh. It seems a little crazy to buy a soon-to-be ten-month-old Christmas presents, right?” Elias glances down at me for confirmation.

  “Well, I guess it depends. Her first Christmas is more for you than her, so if you buy her five presents, then you get to watch her open those presents and see what happens. I think it’s more about that experience than what you’re buying her.”

  He nods. “Are you still going to visit your friend now that Henry is here? Or will you stay so he can see Jackson for Christmas?”

  Crap. My plan is experiencing some issues already. Elias leads us into a children’s store. “I don’t know.” Considering we’re only going up the road to a hotel, Henry can still see Jackson. “We’ll have to see how things go between now and then. I need to decide how to introduce them.”

  “You’ll figure it out.”

  We walk around the mall, making small talk mostly while picking up some gifts. I buy Jackson’s Christmas. Elias gets things for his family and a few things for Bree after all. Spending time with him isn’t so bad. I keep smiling when I glance over and watch him push Bree’s stroller. If he catches me, he’ll raise his eyebrows at me, but I always find something particularly interesting in the store to look at.

  I peek another glance at him. He’s almost a foot taller than me, probably. But what makes me smile is seeing this man in dark jeans and a hoodie that hides his tattoos pushing this stroller that looks so small in front of him. It’s freaking adorable and a little comical.

  “Why do you keep smiling like that, Raelynn?” he finally asks, amusement coloring his tone.

  I laugh and say, “You pushing the stroller.” He glances down, clearly not seeing why that would make me smile. “Here.” My fingers graze his hip as I push him aside. “I look mostly normal with it in front of me. I probably look too small for it, but whatever. My point is that when you push it,” I grab his hand and pull him back behind it, “the proportions don’t add up. You look too big for it.”

  He laughs and shakes his head. “Let’s pick Jackson up. We have one more thing to do today.”

  “What are we doing?”

  “Picking out a Christmas tree.”

  “A real one? Shouldn’t that be done without us?”

  Elias gives me a look that shuts up the rest of my protests. “Yes, a real one, and no. You’ll be enjoying the tree, too. Don’t you think Jackson will enjoy it?”

  Well, darn. He has me there. Jackson might have fun picking out a live tree. We leave the mall and pick up my little boy, who talks all about his day as Elias drives to a tree farm. I decide to carry Bree while we walk around and Jackson holds onto Elias’s hand. The wind bites into my skin and I double check that Bree is covered well enough.

  But that causes me to lose the boys.

  “Where is DaDa and Jackson, Bree?” I ask her. She rests her head on my shoulder with a yawn. She missed her afternoon nap with our shopping. I weave in and out of the trees until I hear Jackson’s voice.

  “These are all so big. Our tree isn’t this big. It fits in a box.”

  “Trees come in all different sizes, J-man. And some you can buy at the store in the box or here on the tree farm. Which one do you think we should get?”

  “One as tall as you!”

  Elias laughs. “Okay. We can do that.”

  I peer around the tree to see him holding Jackson now. They examine the branches on one of the trees. Elias glances around, but doesn’t see me.

  “Hey, Jackson,” Elias says. “Would you like to get your mom a present this year?”

  What is he talking about? What is he doing?

  “I’m her present,” Jackson automatically responds.

  Elias smiles. “Yeah, I know. A good one, too. But if you could get her something as like a bonus present, would you want to do that?”

  Jackson seems to think about this. His legs swing on either side of Elias’s body. “I could get her a present?”

  “Yeah. I’d help you find it or make it. We could wrap it up and put it under the tree, so she’d have something to unwrap on Christmas morning, too.”

  “Okay.”

  Elias grins. “Okay. But it’s a surprise.” Jackson nods. “Let’s find us a tree then.”

  Before they can step away, I come out of my hiding place and Elias glances over, his eyes softening a little when he sees Bree asleep in my arms.

  “Hey, there you are.”

  Here I am. And I have no idea how to feel about him helping Jackson find a present for me. Other than a warm fuzzy, gooey mess because that is seriously too sweet.

  Jackson doesn’t know what to do with himself. He is absolutely thrilled about having a big, living tree. I hold both him and the lights, and we walk around the tree, laying the lights between the branches. He wants to help, like he does with his tree, and I don’t care how the tree looks, so I’m pretty much letting him do most of the work.

  Raelynn and Bree sit on the couch. Raelynn claps Bree’s hands togethers and each time, she says, “DaDa. Let’s say it, Bree. DaDa.” Bree either giggles, mumbles some nonsense, or says, “Ja-Ja.” If Bree says DaDa anytime soon, it’ll be because Raelynn has been relentless.

  “Momma, maybe she just likes me better,” Jackson tells her, causing me to laugh.

  “Maybe you’re her best friend,” I say.

  His brows pull together, like they often do when he’s thinking about something. “That’s why she made me her first word?”

  I grin. He thinks Bree made a choice. And he thinks she chose him. “You play with her, don’t you?”

  He shrugs and stuffs some lights into the tree. “Sometimes.”

  “And she seems happy?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then I think you’re her best friend.”

  Jackson looks over my shoulder at Bree. “Does that mean she’s my best friend? How many can I have?”

  “As many as you want, and if you want her to be.”

  He decides to let that topic go while we finish putting the lights on the tree. Raelynn helps once she puts Bree to bed for the night. Jackson has the most fun with the tinsel. He grabs a handful and runs around, throwing it on the tree. Raelynn looks like she w
ants to tell him to be more direct with his throwing since part of it falls onto the floor. I don’t want to ruin his fun, though. I grab some tinsel, just a few strands, and throw it at her.

  She looks at me with surprise and a little smile.

  “He’s fine,” I whisper.

  “Mr. EJ, I can’t reach the top. Will you help me?”

  “I can,” Raelynn says as she stands, but Jackson shakes his head with an expression as if she’s crazy.

  “Momma, you can’t reach either.” The duh is silent, yet loud and clear.

  I chuckle, which earns me a quick glare from Raelynn. “I can still lift you up, Jackson.” He clearly doesn’t believe her, but she picks him up anyway. He’s nearly as tall as she is. He’s only like two feet shorter. I’m surprised she can pick him up still. Just as I think it, I hear her grunt when he leans forward. I walk over and before I can say anything, she grinds out, “I’m fine.”

  “Either I take him, or I pick you both up.”

  Her hair flies out as she whips her gaze over to look at me with wide eyes. I’m dead serious, too. I can easily pick them both up. There’s no need for her to injure herself. Or drop Jackson.

  Jackson leans too far to the right while Raelynn eyeballs me, probably wondering if I’d really pick her up. He falls forward, which pulls Raelynn in that direction. I snake an arm around her waist and lean her upright again.

  “Sorry, Momma,” Jackson says softly.

  She kisses his cheek. “Don’t be, baby.” She takes a deep breath. “You’re growing up is all. Mr. EJ will help you with the rest.”

  I briefly rub her back before taking him from her to help him toss tinsel onto the top portion of the tree. When he’s done, I set him on his feet and take a few steps back with my hands on my hips. “Well, J-man. What do you think? Is it finished and perfect?”

  Jackson walks over to stand next to me, mirroring my stance. He eyes the tree and then nods. “Yep.”

  Raelynn laughs. “Time for bed, Jackson.”

  He follows her upstairs and I tidy up a bit. I was worried how the transition would be. For me to have a nanny. For my mom to be gone. And then for there to be another kid in the house. After all, I went from living alone to having a baby and now to having a house full. My peace and quiet alone time is almost nonexistent now, but this new part of my life? It’s not bad at all. I thoroughly enjoy it.

  Not to say I haven’t been enjoying life since Bree came into it, I have, but things seem to have settled down now with Raelynn here. It’s a new, different kind of peace.

  I eye the crazy tree. The ornaments are nearly hidden from all of the tinsel Jackson put on it. That’s definitely going to be a tradition for Bree and me. It’s too fun not to be. I flip the switch to turn the outlet off and thus, turning the lights off on the tree.

  “Elias?”

  I turn around at the sound of Raelynn’s voice, sounding close by.

  She throws her arms around my neck, her entire body leaning into me as she hugs me. “Thank you,” she whispers.

  “For what?” I hesitate for only a moment before sliding my arms around her waist. The action pulls her body closer to mine. A body that while smaller than mine still manages to fit perfectly. A body with curves and breasts and warm, soft skin. Fuck. I need to get laid. I’m so distracted by her hug and the temptation to wrap her legs around my waist that I nearly miss what she says.

  “For being so good to Jackson.” After a brief pause, she adds, “And nice to me.” She pulls away, her hands sliding down my shoulders to my arms since I can’t seem to let her go yet.

  “You don’t have to thank me for that.” Would her lips get pinker or turn more of a reddish shade if I were to kiss the hell out of her?

  “I do. It’s all part of me trying to expand our world and allow people in.” She frowns and tenses in my arms as some thought occurs to her. “He likes you a lot, so please don’t ever hurt him.”

  “I wouldn’t.”

  Her eyes flick to her hands, which must be what makes her realize we’re in this position because she quickly steps away from me. My arms have no choice but to fall to my sides. It’s probably a good thing, though. I definitely don’t need to fuck my nanny.

  Right?

  Even if she was interested?

  And with Raelynn, I can’t tell. She’s too closed off of a person to tell if she’s attracted to me. I know she’s more comfortable being here, living here, and being my nanny, but that’s about all I’ve gathered about her so far. Except for how she feels about Henry being around. She definitely isn’t thrilled about that.

  But is she attracted to me? As attracted as I am to her? Do sexy thoughts about us filter past the Do Not Think About sign in her mind like they do in mine? Is she tempted? Does she wonder what it would be like?

  Because the longer I’m around her, the more attracted I am to her. The more I wonder what it would be like. The more tempted I become, even though it seems like a huge no-no. As much as I hate to admit it, Derek was right. Physically, if I have a type, Raelynn is it. Living with her and being platonic might become torture at some point, especially since she’s a really good person on top of that. A person I like. A person I’m pretty sure I want to fuck.

  Damn it.

  Raelynn tilts her head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you want to get inside me.”

  I blink. She can’t know I was thinking that.

  “My head!” Raelynn quickly corrects. “You looked like you were trying to get inside my head. Oh my god.” She turns away and covers her eyes for a moment. “I need to go to bed. G’night, Elias.” She runs up the stairs before I can call after her.

  I need to find a way to get Raelynn out of my head because I can not think about fucking with her.

  It’s Saturday. We’re on a California road swing and at our last stop before we go home. I think I’ve devised a plan for Raelynn. I don’t know if it’s going to work. One-night-stands or casual flings aren’t my thing. Not after what happened with Vicky. And since I can’t stop thinking about Raelynn, my bright idea is to set her up with someone.

  The purpose is two-fold. Raelynn could probably use some fun. A date will give her that. Considering she hasn’t had too many days off, I can also use this to make her take a day off. Secondly, if she’s out with someone else, then surely I won’t think about her.

  Plot holes everywhere, but it’s all I’ve got. I most certainly can’t take her out and make sure she has fun. However, I can find one of the guys to do it and watch Jackson for her while she’s gone. That’s another thing. I know she’d leave Jackson with me. The only other person she might do that with is Deanna since they apparently had lunch earlier this week and are friends.

  Convincing Raelynn will be another issue, but I’ll worry about that later. Right now, I need to find her a date. I’ve been thinking about all the guys on the team and I’ve narrowed it down to two. I don’t know what I’m thinking, but they seem like the least likely to be jackasses. With a deep breath, I walk over to the table where the Kessy twins are having lunch and sit down.

  “Hey, EJ,” they say together, a quirk they’ve been doing since around Thanksgiving to get on everyone’s nerves and to creep some of us out.

  “Hey. How’s it going?”

  “Good,” Cal answers.

  “How’s Bree?” Collin asks.

  “She’s good.” The guys exchange a look and I say, “I need a favor.”

  “Told you,” Cal says, causing Collin to roll his eyes. “He’ll do it.”

  “We don’t even know what it is,” Collin argues. “I might not want to do it.”

  “Both of you shut up and listen.” I wait in case they decide to argue with me, but when they don’t, I say, “Would one of you like to take my nanny out on a date?”

  Cal laughs. “Collin will definitely do it. I’m not. If you have to get a date for the girl, that’s bad news.”

  “She doe
sn’t need my help,” I argue. “I just want her go out and have some fun.” I focus on Collin since he may be my only hope. “Only once. No obligations other than to make sure she has fun.”

  “You don’t have to do it, Collin,” Cal tells him.

  He seems on the fence, so I pull out my phone and show him a picture of her. “Just one fun date,” I repeat.

  “Yeah, okay. Fine. But only because she’s hot.”

  It takes a lot not to frown at his comment. “Thanks.” I spot Brayden walking in, so I say goodbye, get up, and join him at the table he claims. “Hey.”

  “Hey. What’s up?”

  “Just setting Raelynn up on a date.”

  He eyes me with mild surprise as he picks up the menu and the waiter comes over to take our drink order. We get waters and when the waiter walks away, Brayden asks, “Why are you setting her up?”

  I shrug, not sure if I should reveal the real reason. However, my shrug makes him suspicious.

  “EJ, is something going on with your nanny?”

  “No.” Which may or may not be the problem. Brayden watches me for a moment longer before switching his focus to the menu, deciding to let it go. “If you had a nanny, you wouldn’t fuck her, right?” I blurt out.

  Brayden laughs, but doesn’t look up from the menu. “Depends on if it’s worth the risk, especially for you considering how long it took you to find a nanny you liked. You sleep with her and it goes sour, she leaves and your mom has to come back.”

  That’s the thing. My gut feeling? It’s totally on board with this. I don’t think it would turn out badly, but Raelynn is a loose cannon and that’s where all of my hesitation comes in. Who the hell knows where that girl’s head is? I’ll stick with my game plan of sending her on a date with Collin and then reevaluate after that.