The Me I Used to Be

by Jennifer Ryan

  She snuggled into his chest. “Believe me, I want this to be over as soon as possible. Between working for you and for the winery, playing pretend to keep Darren’s interest but not giving in to him, and my family issues, I’m exhausted. I have a seven a.m. meeting with Charlie, Joey, and the manager from Warley.”

  “Don’t let those guys push you into doing something you don’t think is right.” Chris hugged her close and kissed the top of her head. “I don’t want to, but I’ll head home and let you get some sleep.”

  She leaned back and stared up at him. “You made my night.”

  “After sitting in my car staring at the blip on my phone to make sure you stayed put in that restaurant, my night ended pretty damn good with you in my arms.” He kissed her again, this time long and deep, with a message that said he didn’t want to leave her at all.

  And when he reluctantly set her away with a grumble and walked into the dark night to his car, which he’d parked on a dirt road at the back of the property so no one would see it here, all she wanted to do was call him back or go after him again.

  Drunk on his kisses, she couldn’t wait for another taste.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Dawn broke just as Evangeline rolled over looking for the man who consumed her dreams, but all she found was a cold sheet and no one beside her to ease the ache between her thighs. Arms empty, she wrapped them around herself and stared up at the ceiling. After coming home and finding Chris on the porch, she wondered about his place, his life, and what it would be like to actually date him. The feelings stirring between them got stronger every time they were together.

  He’d left her burning for him last night. She woke up on fire this morning.

  Jill woke up every morning with Sean in their cute little house with their sweet little girl.

  She wondered what it would be like to wake up every morning with a man who loved her.

  Her phone beeped with an email alert for her business account. She picked it up and smiled at the request for an appointment by a small East Coast business looking to revamp their outdated website and services.

  She read through the request, thinking about what she could do for them and how much she’d charge. But in the back of her mind, she congratulated herself for a job request that came in based on her experience and expertise. Her business was on its way. She still had some tweaks to make on the Cross Cellars Winery site, but for the most part the job was done, except for what she needed to finish once she put Darren behind bars where he belonged.

  She’d put together a bid for the new job request while she had coffee, then attend the meeting with her brothers and the Warley manager before she headed over to the winery.

  She rolled out of bed, grabbed her laptop, and headed to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

  The last person she expected to find up at this hour was her grandmother. “Morning, Nona. What has you up this early?”

  “When you’re as old as I am, sleep seems like a waste of the time you have left. At least, that’s how I feel. Besides, there’s a flu bug that’s been going around the wineries and farms. Several of the migrant workers’ children have gotten really sick. I’m headed into the free clinic early this morning just in case we have any patients who need to be seen right away.” Nona had spent the better part of her life working in a hospital as an RN, but spent her golden years helping others volunteering at the clinic.

  “Even in your grief you find it in your broken heart to help others.”

  “They need me. Lord knows the ones who own those farms and wineries don’t care for their workers the way they should. They’re too worried about their bottom line.” Nona sipped her coffee, set it down, and stared into the dark liquid. “I’m sorry. I just hate to see good people suffer simply because they’re poor. They came here looking for a better life. They work hard. They deserve basic care.”

  Evangeline reached over and squeezed Nona’s hand. “You give it to them and more with your kindness and compassion.”

  “They deserve better.”

  “Maybe I can get the bowling alley to set up a tournament to raise funds for the clinic. I’m sure Rita would be open to the idea. I could talk to Renee Cross and see if the winery will make a donation or host a fundraiser.”

  “I appreciate the gesture, but you have enough on your plate with the ranch and your new business. A lot has been asked of you. More than you should have had to shoulder alone.”

  “Charlie does most of the ranch work. I’ve helped him with the paperwork and picking things up from the feed store on my way home, but it’s not that much considering all he and Joey do here.”

  “That’s not what I’m talking about.” A tear slid down Nona’s wrinkled cheek.

  Evangeline’s chest went tight, seeing her grandmother so upset and sad. “Nona, what’s wrong? Are you missing Dad?”

  “I miss him every second of the day. I made my peace with him before he died. I never thought he’d do something so stupid and keep stealing from the rich wineries after the first time I asked for his help.”

  Her heart slammed into her ribs as an alarm went off in her head. “What are you talking about?” She didn’t really want an answer, because she didn’t want another person she loved to disappoint her.

  Nona’s watery gaze met hers. “I never meant for him to get into trouble. Or for you to end up in jail.”

  Evangeline fell back in her chair. “Nona! What are you saying?”

  Nona’s gaze met hers and she spilled the truth Evangeline could have lived without. “It seemed like a simple plan. A three-year-old daughter of one of the winery workers needed a bone marrow transplant. They had a donor but not the money. The owners of the winery refused to help cover the medical costs. The parents were undocumented and afraid of being deported. The situation was impossible. And time was running out.”

  “So you asked Dad to help you steal from the winery to cover the costs?”

  “A few of the workers came up with the plan—they needed a trailer and someone to sell the wine. Your father knows a lot of people. He set it up, no problem. I thought that was the end of it.”

  “But Dad figured out a way to supplement the ranch income and pay Mom’s medical bills.”

  “I didn’t know. Four years you spent in prison.” She stared at Evangeline’s scars. “They hurt you.” Nona covered her face and cried harder.

  Evangeline felt like she’d been hit by a wrecking ball. Her chest ached and her stomach roiled. But she couldn’t blame Nona for what she’d done to help a child, even though it had been illegal. She put her resentment and anger squarely where it belonged. “Dad is the one who decided to take the risk and keep stealing from the wineries.”

  “He used the workers who came to me for help to do it. They were desperate for money. He took advantage. He got you arrested. Only then did he see the error of his ways. He blamed himself and punished himself until he ended up in an early grave.”

  At least now she understood how this all happened, but it didn’t change anything. “Nona, you have to let this go. You have to stop blaming yourself for what he did. It’s over now.”

  “And yet you’re still tied up in this mess.”

  She pressed her lips together. “Not for much longer. I’m close to putting a stop to it.”

  “What happens if Darren finds out you’re working for the police?”

  “He won’t. I’ve been very careful.” She wished her confidence matched what she infused in those words.

  “I heard you with Chris last night.”

  Evangeline felt the blood drain from her face.

  Nona waved her hand. “I just heard you two murmuring. But he shouldn’t be here. If anyone saw you and told Darren . . .”

  “Nona, no one saw us. No one from here would tell Darren.”

  “You don’t know what can happen when you’re reckless like your father was. You ended up in jail. What if something worse happens this time?”

  She didn’t know if she c
ould deal with her grandmother and Chris both being so overprotective. They wanted her to end this, but neither of them could stand the way she had to do it.

  Well, she didn’t like it, either, but someone had to do the job or it wouldn’t get done. Chris had been trying to put Darren away the last four years and had a whole lot of nothing to show for it.

  She was the only one who could get close to Darren. She had evidence of the theft from last night, now all she needed was evidence of the counterfeiting and he’d go away for a long time.

  “I can only promise that I’ll be very careful. This time, I know what I’ve gotten myself into and I won’t let anyone get the jump on me again. Chris has my back. Trust me to know when it’s time to end it.”

  “I just hope you know before it’s too late.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Evangeline wished she’d ended the meeting with the Warley manager, Charlie, and Joey fifteen minutes ago. They’d gone over the contract, discussed the terms, and determined management of the property and herd. Joey balked at every suggestion while Charlie underscored how great it all would be. She thought getting everyone together would enable them to come to a compromise that worked for everyone. Her brothers were still at odds and the Warley manager refused to budge on the investment amount for improving the ranch operation and profit sharing.

  She could say yes to the contract knowing the ranch would be better off, but it wouldn’t give Charlie the house he wanted or Joey the job security he needed.

  “It’s not fair. If they don’t like the way we run the place, they’ll bring in their own people. On our land.” Joey slammed his hands down on the table. “They’ll fire us from our own ranch.”

  Lance, the Warley manager, tried to keep his composure. “I’ll oversee the work, but you and Charlie will run the ranch just like you’ve always done.” Poor Lance had said basically the same thing like twelve times.

  They were going in circles.

  “And we can only use the vet they say, buy from the vendors they approve.”

  Lance went over it again. “We have agreements with certain vets and companies to provide services and goods at a discount because of the volume we order across the company. It saves you money.”

  “But it doesn’t mean we’re getting the best service or product.”

  Charlie leaned in. “Isn’t it worth giving them a chance? They’ve been vetted by Warley.”

  Joey smacked his hand on the table. “What about the people we’ve vetted and worked with for years?”

  “Some of them are on the list of approved vendors,” Lance assured Joey again.

  Before they went over all the same stuff for the umpteenth time, Evangeline held up her hand to stop Joey from winding up again. “Lance, thank you for your time. As you can see, the vote is divided.”

  “Your vote is the only one that counts.” Charlie’s eyes pleaded with her. “You know this is the right thing to do.”

  She didn’t know why she balked at making the final decision, but she needed more time. “Lance, I’d like a bit more time to consider our options.”

  “I can give you another week, but then, I’m sorry, the offer is off the table and I’ll have to move on to another ranch.”

  “I understand. You’ll have my decision soon.” She stood to leave.

  Lance stood and shook her hand. “If you have any questions, please let me know.” He handed her his card. “Call me anytime.” He held her gaze, letting her know he meant it and with a hint of interest lighting his eyes.

  She smiled and slipped her hand from his. “Thank you. I’ll be in touch.” She eyed her brothers. “I’ve got to get to work at the winery. We’ll talk about this later.”

  “And come to a decision,” Charlie ordered.

  She nodded and left without making it seem like she needed to escape all of their stares and the pressure to give her final answer. Mostly she wanted to finish the business with Darren so she could focus on the ranch.

  Could she get that done in a week?

  She didn’t know, but on the drive to the winery she thought about her next steps.

  Lost in thought, she walked up the path to the wine-tasting room and nearly got bashed in the face by the door when Scott Cross stormed out and stopped short before he ran her over.

  “Evangeline. I’m so sorry.”

  “No worries. Everything okay?” She hadn’t spoken to him yet about the wine Darren stole last night.

  Scott huffed out a frustrated breath. “I just found out the land we planned to buy fell through at the last minute. I don’t have the space here to plant the new types of grapes we’re hoping to experiment with for a new wine.”

  An idea sparked in her mind. “How many acres do you need?”

  “Five would work. Ten would be better. Why? Do you know of a piece of land for sale?”

  “Not for sale, but maybe for lease.”

  Scott perked up with interest. “Really? Where?”

  “My family’s cattle ranch. Not the pastureland, but we have some space on the west side of the property that’s rolling hills. It might work. There aren’t many trees there, either, to get in the way. I’ll have to talk to my brothers about it, but if you’d like to see it, I’d be happy to show you. The only thing I’d ask is that you don’t cut down the trees. I’m not sure of the exact acreage, but I’d say that portion of the land is about eight acres, give or take.”

  “What about water?”

  “I’d have to figure out the closest source. You’d have to bring the water out that way. We don’t grow anything that far out.”

  “Where’s the ranch?”

  She gave him the address. “The part of the land I’m talking about is actually only about fifteen minutes from here.” And though they were thinking about signing with Warley, even if they expanded the ranching business, they still wouldn’t need that portion of land to do it.

  “This could be a viable option.” Scott echoed her thoughts. “Can I meet you out there tomorrow morning?”

  “Absolutely.” She rattled off the simple directions.

  “Great. I’ll take a look at the land and see if it will work. We can talk terms and more details then.”

  “Sounds good.” She barely got the words out when the door opened again and Darren walked out, smiling at her.

  “You get prettier every day.”

  She accepted the compliment with a smile. She’d left her hair straight today, with just a hint of pink blush and eye shadow to go with her bolder cranberry lip color that matched her blouse. For comfort, she wore dark denim jeans and black ankle boots. She’d seen a similar look in a magazine and thought she could pull it off. If Darren’s reaction was any indication, and he wasn’t just sucking up to her, the look worked.

  “Thank you, Darren. What are you up to today?”

  “Your website is drumming up a lot of business. I’ve got two brides coming in today with their significant others and family to check out the venue, along with a corporate event planner.”

  Scott beamed her a smile. “You seem to be the solution to all our problems.”

  She hoped she could solve their Darren problem and put a stop to him stealing them blind.

  “What else has Evangeline been up to?” Darren’s casual question came with his steady gaze and her fear that he suspected her of something.

  “We had a land deal fall through, but Evangeline has offered to show me a piece of her family ranch that might work out.” Scott answered without giving any hint that he knew about Darren’s betrayal.

  Darren hooked his arm around her shoulders and hugged her to his side. “That’s Evangeline, always coming up with great ideas.”

  Scott smiled in the same carefree way he always did. “We’re lucky to have her here helping us out.” He focused on her. “Tomorrow at nine work for you?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Mind if I take some soil samples while I’m there?”

  “Whatever you need.”

&
nbsp; Scott nodded and walked back toward the wine-bottling building, where he spent most of his time. She’d tell him about Darren’s late-night burglary later.

  “What happens if you make that deal and he finds out what you did to the inventory system?” The innocent act didn’t convince her he wasn’t threatening her.

  “Probably the same thing that will happen to you when he finds out you stole four cases of wine last night.”

  Darren’s eyebrows went up. “So you can track what I’ve changed.”

  “It’s called covering my ass.”

  “You don’t seriously think I’d turn on you when it exposes me, too.” He sounded sincere, but she knew better.

  “I’m just being careful.”

  “Why are you doing this at all?” And there was the suspicion she expected.

  She wanted him to know just what he’d cost her. “Because I can’t get a job just anywhere with my record. My company is barely up and running and it costs a lot of money to advertise and run the business. I want to move out of my mother’s house and buy one of my own. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do in my life after four years in prison. Living on my own is at the top of my list of things I need to do.” And I want to put you behind bars. I want you to hear the cell slam shut and feel how alone and trapped you are inside where you can’t trust anyone and everyone is out for themselves.

  I want you to know what it feels like to have your whole life taken away.

  Darren needed to understand how her life had stalled out when she went to prison and how hard it was to catch up.

  “Makes sense. But you’re taking a huge risk.”

  “Aren’t you? You wanted my help. I gave it to you. We’re in this together now.”

  He eyed her, clearly still on the fence, or at least reluctant to trust her. “Lyssa doesn’t think we need you.”

  “Lyssa didn’t get you into the inventory database so you can steal without anyone knowing. Lyssa can’t do the same thing at other wineries. You said you’d make the introductions so I could get some more website business. You scratch my back. I scratch yours.”