The Me I Used to Be

by Jennifer Ryan

  Darren held her gaze and contemplated something during the long pause. “Can you set up a fake storefront online? Something that looks like a legitimate business.”

  “Sure. No problem. But if I were you, I’d go with a personal web page under a fake name and picture. Sell yourself as a wine connoisseur who specializes in rare vintages. Sell and trade wines with others. Use PayPal and a PO box.” She’d become quite devious in thinking of ways to set Darren up.

  “Let’s do both. I’ve got buyers who buy by the case. Remember that woman you saw me with the first time we met? She owns a restaurant in L.A. and buys wine from me at a steep discount.”

  She tried to figure out a way to get him to show her where they stored all this wine. “I’ll need pictures of the wines available, especially if they’re rare bottles. Buyers spending large amounts of money will want to see what they’re getting.”

  “I can get that for you.”

  She wanted to push, but backed off. “Do some research on other sites that would compare to ours. We want our site to look similar but also stand out.”

  “The rare vintages we offer will stand out.” Darren used “we,” which meant he’d accepted her as part of the team.

  “Okay. We’ll need to highlight them.”

  Darren tilted his head, still watching her like a cat playing with a mouse. “Funny how Jill showed up last night.”

  “I know, right? I’ve missed her so much.” She didn’t have to lie or fake that.

  He nodded, his expression softening. “Did you two have fun last night?”

  “Chardonnay and girl talk. I can’t believe she’s married, with a baby.”

  “Imagine if we stayed together what we’d be like now.” He stepped closer and put one hand on her hip and the other at her neck, his thumb brushing her jaw. He never seemed to see the scars. They didn’t bother him.

  Not the way they affected Chris. He saw them and thought about how and why she’d gotten them. He looked at them and understood how she’d suffered and he hated that it had happened to her at all.

  Darren didn’t even flinch or consider that they were partially his doing. He didn’t care. He didn’t have an ounce of remorse or regret. It didn’t weigh on his conscience because he didn’t have one. No empathy. No sympathy, because he only thought about himself.

  “You’d be my wife.”

  Not.

  “In my bed every night.”

  No, thank you.

  “We used to be so good together. I think we could be again.” Heat filled his eyes, like it had in the early days of their relationship when he’d wanted her in his bed and she’d held out to get to know him better. That’s all this was, he wanted her because she kept stalling and he liked the challenge.

  “If Lyssa doesn’t like me being a part of the gang, what would she think about me replacing her in your bed?”

  He brushed his thumbs along her jaw. “Like I said, that’s a casual thing that never turned into anything.”

  Like us. He only wanted her because she was familiar and new all at the same time.

  “She and I have an agreement not to meddle in the other person’s life. Business comes first.”

  What you want comes first.

  She put her hand on his chest. It gave her a way to hold him in place and make him think she wanted to touch him. “As much as I’d like to”—she dropped her voice—“get personal, I’ve got business with Renee up in her office. She’s expecting me.”

  Darren leaned in, kissed her cheek, and whispered in her ear, “I can’t wait to have you all to myself again.”

  She leaned her head to his and sighed, pretending to be affected by that seductive admission. She pushed him away with a flirty smile. “You’ll just have to wait until business doesn’t get in the way.”

  “I wish it could be tonight, but we’re picking up a big shipment.”

  She frowned. “You keep saying you want to be with me . . .”

  “I do.” Interest and disappointment warred in those words. “Soon. Will you be here tomorrow?” Excitement and anticipation brightened his eyes.

  She turned to walk around the building to Renee’s office, but said over her shoulder, “Maybe.”

  “You’re killing me,” he called back.

  She giggled for his benefit. I almost died in prison thanks to you, asshole. Payback’s a bitch, and I am going to make you pay.

  She walked over to Renee’s office and found her sitting behind her desk.

  “Morning.”

  “Ready to get started?”

  Evangeline pulled out her phone. “I just need to make a quick call.”

  Renee nodded.

  Evangeline sat on the sofa opposite Renee’s desk and called Chris.

  “You okay?” It meant a lot that he always needed to know that first.

  “I’m good. How’s your day going?”

  “I haven’t kissed you today, so it sucks so far.”

  This time, her smile and laugh were genuine and filled with the happiness he so easily made her feel, even when he grumbled at her so sweetly. “You made my night last night. I wish I could say the same for tonight, but I have a job for you.”

  “I take it this means I won’t see you tonight.”

  “Sorry. You’ve got bad guys to chase.”

  “Not catch?”

  “That depends. Darren told me he can’t see me tonight because he’s picking up a big shipment. You said something about him making a deal with a driver to hijack his load.” Nona had said her dad also had worked with the winery employees. “I’m not sure, but maybe he’s doing that again tonight. I’m sorry, I don’t have any of the details about which winery or where or when.”

  “I can put a tail on him and Tom and see if they lead us to the truck, or something else.”

  Renee looked up from the papers she was reading at her desk. “Scott and I were discussing a shipment we need to make, but the trucking company we use has a delivery tonight for Campi Verde Winery, so they can’t do our pickup and delivery until tomorrow. Darren might have overheard us discussing it.”

  She relayed that information to Chris. “If it’s Campi Verde, we know he’s stolen from them before and gotten away with it. He’s probably got people on the inside helping him.”

  Chris swore. “That’s got to be it. It’s justice for you if he’s arrested for stealing from the same winery he used to get you arrested.”

  “I need you to let him get away.”

  “Why the hell would I do that?” Anger and frustration replaced his earlier flirty tone.

  “To put the pressure on him, so he’ll need my help even more.”

  “What if he suspects you of sabotaging his plans for tonight?”

  Renee chimed in again. “I could call them and ask if Chris can put a tracker of some kind in one of the cases. Would that help?”

  “Did you hear that?” she asked Chris, since she’d put her phone on speaker.

  “Yeah. My guys could hang back so no one suspects anything. I can have one of the guys go over to Campi Verde in plain clothes and put the tracker in place.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  “Which means you have to do everything normal today and stay away from Darren and his people tonight.” The warning held a plea, too.

  “Not a problem. I’ll be home finishing the Cross Cellars website.”

  Renee beamed her a smile. “It’s looking amazing so far.”

  “Call me if anything comes up. I’ll be busy tonight with this.” He didn’t say anything more.

  “Be careful. Be safe.” She used the two things he always said to her.

  “You, too.” He paused, then added, “I’ll see you soon.” Chris hung up, leaving her worried about him, his job, and what might happen if things went wrong. She wondered about this glimpse into his work and life and whether she could handle feeling like this all the time if they were together.

  “What’s it like to have two men who want you?” Renee’s smil
e and words teased her.

  “It’s not what you think. Chris truly cares about me. Darren wants to use me.”

  “It’s amazing how different my perception of him is now that I see him through your eyes. Both of them, actually. Chris seemed like the kind of guy who is all business, dedicated to his job and not much else. You see more than that.”

  “He’s intense. Direct. I like that about him. It’s not that he’s not kind and sweet. He is. It’s just that when he is, with me, I know he means it. I know he does it just for me.”

  “Darren, on the other hand, flirts and teases and sucks up to everyone.” Renee rolled her eyes, not finding Darren so charming and engaging anymore.

  “How do you know you’re special when he treats everyone the same?” And that’s what she’d come to realize all those years ago. Darren didn’t treat her any different than he treated everyone else. Even when it came to hurting her. He didn’t care that she’d gotten caught. He just wanted to cover his own ass.

  “I, for one, hope you and Chris have a long and happy life together.”

  “It’d be nice if we could date out in the open. As it is, we sneak phone calls and barely spend any time together. When we do have a few minutes alone, we have to hide so no one sees us. I’ve only been home a little while, and between my family obligations, getting my business up and running, and setting up Darren, I’ve barely had time to breathe, let alone decide if Chris and I are right together.”

  “He’s the only one who makes you smile the way you did when you called him.” Renee had a point. “Don’t get so busy taking care of everyone and everything else and forget to take care of you.”

  She wished it was that easy to set everything aside and focus on herself.

  How was she supposed to know what she wanted when everyone around her wanted something from her?

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Evangeline sat at the kitchen table with her laptop, sifting through information about two prospective clients, when Charlie walked in and headed right to her.

  “We need to talk.” Charlie didn’t waste time. He wanted that Warley contract signed.

  “Hello to you, too, Charlie.”

  He waved off the benign pleasantries. “You’ve heard the terms, had all your questions answered, you’ve seen how things are running here, and still you hold off signing the contract that you know we need.”

  She closed her laptop and picked up her dinging phone and read the incoming text.

  CC: Stopped theft of winery truck an hour ago Tom got away at the last second

  “Evangeline, I’m talking to you.”

  “You’re talking at me.” She texted Chris back.

  Evangeline: Are you okay?

  CC: Still haven’t kissed you today be careful

  “I’m trying to talk to you and you’re smiling and texting on your phone, completely ignoring me.”

  She set her phone aside and gave Charlie her full attention. “I wasn’t expecting you. I’ve got two proposals to complete, a website to finish, the dishes I promised to do for Mom, a flyer Nona needs for the clinic, and . . . other stuff going on.” She didn’t want to get into the whole sheriff’s sting and how worried she was for Chris and the repercussions that could result because Darren and Tom didn’t get the goods they needed to supply their buyers. “I told you I would have a decision within a week.”

  “Why are you waiting?”

  She looked him dead in the eye. “Because it matters, Charlie. I want to be sure. I want to give myself a little bit of time to think about the problem and possible solutions and make sure there isn’t anything that comes up that I’d look back on and think: I should have thought about that before I signed the contract. I know you want this. I think it’s a good idea, but I’m not sure that what you ultimately want will be fulfilled by working with Warley when there may be another option.”

  “There are no other options.”

  She didn’t want to tell him about her plan with Scott and leasing part of their land to the Cross Cellars Winery. Not yet. Not until it was a done deal. She didn’t want to get his hopes up.

  Someone pounded on the front door.

  She and Charlie both jumped at the startling thump.

  He turned to the door, his eyes narrowed with concern. “What the hell?”

  “Evangeline, open up. I need to talk to you,” Darren called.

  When Charlie stepped over to open the door, she deleted the texts from Chris on her phone. She stuffed it into her back pocket and stood to follow Charlie to the door.

  He opened it and stood between her and Darren. “What are you doing here?”

  At nearly nine o’clock, it wasn’t the ideal time to show up unannounced. Which tripped an alarm in her head and sent her heart beating faster in her chest. She tried to hide her concern and act surprised to see Darren and not guilty that she knew exactly why he was here.

  “I need to speak with Evangeline.”

  “Why?” Charlie didn’t back down or let Darren in.

  She didn’t want Charlie’s overprotective brother routine to make Darren suspicious. She put her hand on Charlie’s shoulder and mustered a welcoming smile for Darren. “Did you come by to see the progress I’ve made on the website you wanted to set up?”

  Charlie stared down at her. “You’re working for him, too?”

  It seemed like she was working on things for everyone these days. “Go home. I’m sure Lindsey and the boys are waiting for you. We’ll talk about the ranch tomorrow.” She tried to nudge him along.

  He shook off her hand. “You can’t keep stalling or we’ll lose the deal.”

  She sighed. “I’m trying to get you what you want, the best way I can make that happen.”

  Charlie rolled his eyes, not buying it. “Sign the damn contract.” With that, he stormed out the door, nearly knocking into Darren, who walked right in and closed the distance between them.

  Like Charlie had, Darren glared down at her. “You’re coming with me.”

  She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at the demanding tone. “It’s late. I’ve still got work to do. What’s this about?”

  “I think you know.” He hooked his hand around her arm and pulled. “Let’s go.”

  She held her ground. “What has gotten into you?”

  He yanked her two steps to the door before she dug her heels in and stopped him. “What the hell?”

  He turned to her. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

  She tried a different tactic and softened her tone. “Darren, just talk to me. What’s happened? Why are you so angry?”

  He studied her face for a long moment. “I’ll tell you about it on the way.” He tried for a softer tone as well. “Please, come with me.” But the request held a bite.

  She stepped back, relieved to see him soften toward her. “Let me get my purse and keys. Where are we going? I’ll follow you.”

  “No. I’ll drive.”

  “Then you’ll have to bring me all the way back here.”

  He took her hand. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t need anything, just come along. The others are waiting for us.”

  She went along because making a scene and refusing would only raise his suspicions. Chris warned her not to do this very thing, but she had to believe Darren wouldn’t hurt her. But that didn’t mean she needed to be a passive participant.

  While he walked ahead of her, pulling her along to his car at the end of the drive behind her truck, she grabbed the phone from her pocket, hitting the ring icon. Her phone rang like she had an incoming call. She pretended to answer, but secretly tapped the picture of Charlie that actually called Chris’s cell.

  “Hey, put that away.”

  “It’s just Charlie. He’s obsessed about this ranch contract.” She rolled her eyes. “He won’t give up.”

  Chris picked up on the first ring. “You okay?”

  “Charlie, I can’t talk any more about the contract right now. Darren and I are going out. We
’ll talk in the morning.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  She hung up and held the phone up to Darren, her stomach in a knot but her dark thoughts brighter knowing Chris would track her. “There.”

  She tapped her thumb on another icon on the screen and stuffed the phone into her jeans waistband under her shirt, and hoped Darren didn’t notice or take the phone from her.

  “If the ranch needs money, you should have gone along with the plan.”

  She stood next to the car door he held open for her. “I’ve done everything you asked. I told you, I’m working on the new online storefront.”

  Darren leaned in. “I’m not talking about that, and you know it.”

  She needed a minute to think and took her seat in his BMW. She waited for him to get behind the wheel to ask, “Where are we going?”

  “To meet Tom and Lyssa.” He started the car and drove down the driveway and headed in the direction of his family’s property.

  “Why? You still haven’t told me why you stormed into my house demanding I come with you.”

  “Like you don’t know our shipment got busted.”

  She stared at him and played dumb. “Someone took it?”

  “No.” He slammed his hand on the steering wheel. “Stop acting like you don’t know what’s going on.”

  She held her hands up and let them fall on her thighs. “Who’s acting? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was at home working when you busted in and demanded I come with you. Here I am. We’re supposed to be partners, so tell me what happened and maybe we can fix it.”

  “Partners? You told me you put in a trap on the inventory system so you’d know what I stole.”

  “Yes. I told you about it so that we understand each other. Transparency. No surprises. You know what I’m doing and I know what you’re doing. But you’re the one who’s keeping me in the dark here. So if there’s something you want to say to me, just say it.”

  “Did you call the cops on the shipment we were hijacking tonight?”

  She turned in her seat and faced him. “Are you kidding me? How would I know that? All you said was you were picking up a shipment. How would I know where or what you were getting?”