“Do you mind, Pet?” she asked for her mother’s sake.
“Of course not, Lia,” I said. “I’ll ride Fiora.”
Lia nodded, and I went to tack the bay mare. Fiora had a nice temperament, and stood well as I groomed her. I found I didn’t mind the switch in mounts, as it afforded me the opportunity to appreciate both Lia and Khol, as they soared over the walls at the most difficult places. The object of my ardor was enjoying herself, wearing a look of stern concentration as she scanned the terrain, seeking more challenging obstacles to jump. Her mother watched her with obvious pride, and for the first time I recognized the Lore I remembered. She had always been fiercely devoted to her daughters, and apparently still was, despite her frustrations with Lia.
When we reached our chosen picnic spot, Lia dropped down from Khol’s back and went to sit on the petrified log near the shore of the lake. Lore followed, claiming the place beside her daughter. I remained mounted for a few minutes, waiting, watching Lia’s profile as she smiled and spoke with her mother. Lore appeared happier on the ride back, and more relaxed.
From that day forward throughout the remainder of her stay, Lore offered her daughter more patience. Possibly because Lia was happier, she made more of an effort with Lore as well, and they seemed to understand each other slightly better as the days passed. The two rode out together every afternoon, Lia always taking Khol, and Lore on her golden gelding. I held back, wanting them to repair whatever damage had occurred in their relationship that brought them to such an impasse.
The last night before she left, Lore again kept me up with a magnum of torppa. We talked about the past, and she asked about those many years we had hardly communicated, even about official business.
“I remember you were involved with a Lord of House Vischieu,” she said out of the blue.
“You’re referring to Carlen?” I replied.
“Did you truly care for him?” she asked, watching me closely.
“My feelings were of little importance in the matter. Being connected to him helped me politically,” I replied bluntly. “The Noge were slow to accept a Fae born Prime. He was only one of many short relationships that helped to bridge that gap.”
“But your relationship was more than platonic, wasn’t it?” she asked, appearing uncomfortable with my response.
“Lore, are you asking if I had sex with him?” I replied, laughing.
“Yes, I suppose I am,” she said, blushing and diverting her gaze.
“Of course I did,” I whispered, thinking of Lia upstairs and hoping she wasn’t listening.
“But why, if you didn’t love him?” she started.
“Sometimes I forget how well M’Tek has sheltered you,” I replied. “It’s not always about love, Lore, or even desire. Sometimes it’s simply power,” I said evenly. “I gained influence through my association with the House Vischieu, not to mention land investment opportunities in southwestern Nogeland. I hold almost the entire Eponymous River Valley, which is the most fertile region in all of Nogeland for porcelain berries. The House of Vischieu owned that land before I acquired it.”
“You’ve had male and female lovers?” she asked, ignoring my mention of business as unimportant, though in that circumstance it was anything but.
“I have,” I acknowledged.
“Which do you prefer?” she asked.
“I’m not certain I have a preference,” was my reply. “Besides, I dislike generalizations.”
“Pet, stop being a politician,” Lore replied, laughing at me. “Just answer the question.”
“I thought I did,” I said in an even tone. Lore shook her head, insisting I answer her. “Fine. In my experience, women usually have to be seduced. With men it’s less mental, more physical, and it’s pretty easy to give them what they want. Sex is practical, and easy between a man and a woman, though I find it far less satisfying,” I explained. “On the other hand, every woman is different. I’ve been with several men who cared little about my enjoyment, but that has never happened to me with a woman. Although I’m generalizing here, I find that women enjoy giving as much as receiving, if not more.”
“Have there been many woman?” she asked quietly.
“That is another vague question,” I replied. “What I think of as a few, you may see as many.”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Lore said, raising both eyebrows. “You speak in active terms, as if you’re always in control. Are you? Have you ever been the one seduced?” she asked.
“Lore, why are you asking me about all of this tonight?”
“Because your magnificent torppa is streaming through my blood, and because, for the first time, I feel I can. That tension that was between us for so long is completely gone now,” she observed. “I’m right, aren’t I?” she asked. “You’re not angry with me anymore, are you?”
“I’m not sure what you want me to say,” I admitted. “I was never actually angry with you.”
“Well, then answer my question. Have you ever been seduced?” she asked.
“Once,” I said calmly. “I was taken completely by surprise.”
“Who was it?” she asked. “Were you still a girl?”
“Lore, you don’t honestly expect me to answer those questions, do you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Fine. Was it a man or a woman?” Lore asked.
“Well, certainly not a man,” I said with a wry smile.
“So, you find sex is better between women, but less complicated with a man,” Lore paraphrased for me. “I think M’Tek explained something similar to me once,” she observed. “Of course, I’ve never been with a man,” she added.
“That’s not something you need to regret,” I offered, relieved to have her focus away from me.
“I have no regrets,” she said too quickly. I laughed at the folly of such a statement. We all have regrets. Her checks colored again as her eyes locked on mine. “I didn’t mean that. You’re right. I’m fooling myself,” she almost whispered. “I have regrets about you, Pet. You know that, right?” she added. “I have always adored you. In other circumstances we might have been…”
“Lore, please. Don’t,” I interrupted, stopping her before she could say something for which she would certainly feel ashamed when the torppa cleared from her blood. “Anyone can see that you belong with my cousin. Despite the distance that’s grown between M’Tek and me in recent years, you need never doubt the infinite love and loyalty I feel for her. Truly, I’m happy for you both.”
“I believe you,” Lore said, grinning sheepishly as she stood on unsteady feet. “And on that note, I’m going to bed. I have a long ride ahead of me tomorrow,” she added. “Good night, my sweet, beautiful Pet. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you,” she said before leaning down to kiss my forehead. Her lips lingered for a moment before she added, “You always smell so wonderful.”
As I watched Lore retreating down the hall, my mind shifted, as usual, to Lia’s whereabouts. I knew she was probably already asleep in my bed, and more than likely on my side. I found my feet in an instant, as I was eager to wake her.
Lore left the following morning. The moment she and her guard were out of visual range of the palace, Lia and I went back to bed. From that morning forward, she removed herself from her childhood room, with her small child’s bed, to the rooms adjoining mine.
****
We remained at Saranedam Palace over the following weeks, as I worked with Lia on Old Noge every day. Noge etiquette was a little more difficult to impart. I decided it would be easier, as well as more enjoyable for Lia to absorb, if we were visiting the great estates across Nogeland while I guided her in Noge ways.
In preparation for our trip, I decided to lay the groundwork by hosting the most elaborate solstice celebration I could manage. I tripled my usual guest list, inviting virtually every member of the Noge nobility to Saranedam Palace for the three week long event, offering to put up entire families in Saranedam Village, once the palace was filled to capaci
ty.
It was a spectacular party, harkening back to my heyday as the planner for the Fae season at Lareem Palace. I, of course, had a brightly colored bonfire, one of my favorite spectacles, and glowing stars floating throughout the ballroom, each holding a tiny candle inside of a tightly sealed paper casing. The ballroom ceiling was a deep sapphire blue, and covered with constellations painted with luminescent white paint.
Lia’s eyes lit up as she gazed around at the decorations of the ballroom. It took everything in me to hold myself back from taking her in my arms and kissing her thoroughly. I’d had a beautiful white dress designed for her that covered her respectfully, but still accentuated her shape. Flaunting her beauty for our guests to admire, while aware Lia only wanted me, gave me more delight than I should admit. The Noge were immediately in awe of their princess. She received so many invitations that first night of the celebration that we were booked up for the entire summer by midnight.
Lia was clearly enjoying herself with the Noge, and not even slightly withdrawn. As I watched her, I began to understand her difficulties in Faeland. Lia’s temperament was more Noge than Fae. Lore couldn’t see it, because she had been forced to subvert so many of her Noge propensities simply to survive her childhood among the Vilken peasantry. Lia was reserved, and sensitive, and could easily be overwhelmed by the ostentatious tendencies of the Fae people, but she shone among the Noge. They instantly recognized her as one of their own, whereas I, even after thirteen years as their devoted Prime and after the meticulous eradication of my Fae accent, was still considered slightly suspect.
Lia’s eyes were a constant source of compliments, as people stopped in midsentence to comment that hers were the most beautiful they’d ever seen. After a week of such treatment, her reticence faded. She stood straighter, and that endearing sense of guilelessness she had worn so charmingly seemed to dissipate. She was becoming formidable, her mothers’ daughter.
I was proud to have her on my arm, even though no one knew she was in fact mine. Many noble families asked if I was authorized to consent to a courtship. I gleefully informed them I was not, and that their petitions were to be directed to the Noge Queen. I knew it would take time to compose the formal requests, and therefore provide me a period of peace with my adored Lia, before the inevitable competition for her affections began. Meanwhile, I tried and failed to maintain a sense of reality over our future. I reminded myself continuously that at some point she would have to take a consort, and that consort certainly could never be me, while in the back of my mind I railed against this prohibition. I wanted Lia for myself, and I cared little about what I would lose in pursuit of that end.
Since the consent of the crown was required before anyone could even ask a Noge Princess to dance in Nogeland, Lia was left with only me as her dance partner, and no one questioning that auspicious circumstance. Usually I detested protocol, because my life had been spent in rigorous observance of its strictures. In this instance, I was pleased to hold scrupulously to the traditions of Noge nobility, and in the process, keep my Lia entirely to myself. I taught her the traditional Noge dances, as I had done many years earlier with Lore. Even with only me to partner with, Lia was clearly enjoying the celebration. I knew myself to be the most fortunate woman alive.
A week after the celebration ended, we were alone together in the drawing room. Lia sat reading a book I’d selected for her, written in Old Noge. The solstice celebration had been a great success, but Saranedam Palace was again emptied of guests, allowing our life to resume a quiet pace. After the frenzy of constant socializing, I worried Lia would become bored with only my companionship.
“How are you doing with the romance?” I asked of the book she was reading, breaking the easy silence that had grown between us. Her beautiful grey eyes settled on me with an expression of dissatisfaction, possibly even irritation, as she partially closed the book in her hands, a finger keeping her place among the pages.
“I find it a bit dull,” she confessed, scrunching her nose as if something smelled strange to her. “The baroness is always worried about appearances. She’s less concerned with her feelings for Vayon than with what her social acquaintances might think of her,” she added. “Of course, Vayon is so uptight he’ll hardly touch her for fear of breaking some stupid archaic rule. I keep wishing I could go into the book and strangle both of them so it would end my suffering in reading about them. ”
“But you’re having no difficulty with the language?” I asked. Lia shrugged and raised an eyebrow, as if annoyed by the question.
She placed her dull book, open-faced and down, on the side table and stood from her chair. She reached her arms above her head extending to her fullest height, stretching. My gaze followed the fluid lines of her elegant body as she turned to the large windows to appraise the clouds forming in the sky. A frown formed on her beautiful face for only a moment, and then her attention settled on me again.
“I want to ride, but I think it might rain,” she said. “Will you risk getting caught in a storm with me, Pet?”
“Are you bored?” I asked, careful to keep any concern from my voice. She shrugged again and collapsed back into her reading chair. Clearly, my darling was bored. “You made quite a few friends during the solstice celebration. Why not invite some to the palace?” I suggested. “I’ll stay out of your way, or even leave for a few days, if you like. I could go south into Baneland and inspect my torppa vineyards.”
“No,” she said sharply, her gaze becoming more penetrating. “I’ll not permit you to leave me. If you need to inspect your vineyards, I will travel with you.”
“Lia, I don’t like for you to be bored. I want your time with me to be spectacular and memorable,” I offered, smiling to cover my apprehension. Lia’s gaze remained sharp on me, as if she were trying to decipher a complex equation.
“Pet, you are spectacular and memorable,” she finally said. “I don’t need entertaining. I only want you.”
“You must need something else,” I said under my breath. “You’re far too intelligent to be both idle and content.”
“You’re correct,” she agreed. “Share your work with me,” she said, switching to Old Noge. “These dusty books you ask me to read are tedious. Still, I’ve read them all. I’ll finish this one later if you insist on it, even though it’s ridiculous, and filled with antiquated thinking, and written in an old, dead, language,” she observed. “I want to learn what’s living and vital. Teach me to do what you do. Teach me to invest, and take risks, and make things grow,” she demanded, her Old Noge flawless.
I stood and crossed the sitting area to where she stood. I retrieved the book from the table, realizing it was completely unnecessary for her to suffer through another sentence. Her Old Noge was likely better than my own. She smiled at me as I closed the book, losing her place among the pages. Still holding the book, I paced over to the window and stared out at the collecting storm clouds. I knew from the peach hue of the sky that it would not rain until nightfall, but the storm would be terrible when it came.
“We’ll begin in the morning,” I said, shifting my attention from the gathering clouds to the peculiar pink water of the lake, reflecting the brilliance of the threatening sky above it. “I’ll teach you how to keep account books to start, if you like. You’ll find the process tedious.”
“I doubt that,” she said, her voice coming from close behind me. “Pet,” she said, and I turned to face her. When her arms wrapped around me I scanned the room for staff, making certain we were actually alone before I relaxed, gathering her closer, craving the press of her breasts against mine. I needed the reassuring scent of her skin to be reminded she loved me. I pressed a kiss to her neck, inhaling her delicious scent. She drew back from me and took my lips gently. When she released me, she pressed her forehead to mine, aligning our noses. “Now tell me, my beautiful Pet, why are you worried?” she asked.
“Because I love you so much more than I should,” I admitted.
“That worries y
ou?” she asked, gently. “Why?”
“I don’t think it will rain until this evening,” I observed, pulling back from her. “We should ride this afternoon. We may not be able tomorrow.”
“What are you afraid of?” she asked.
“Isn’t it obvious, Lia? I’m terrified of losing you,” I replied in hardly more than a whisper.
“But you know how I feel about you. I won’t give you up, whatever my mothers’ may want,” she assured me.
“But you might not have a choice, darling,” I said. “Lore will never forgive me for this.”
“You think this was your doing?” Lia asked, shaking her head and grinning. “You’re fooling yourself, Pet. I chased you down and made you admit you wanted me. I had to be incredibly forward to even get you to dance with me that first night. Even after that, you shoved me back each and every time I managed to gain ground with you. I’m persistent, though. I wore your defenses away.”
“Would you like to ride through the berry vineyards?” I asked, not wanting to have the conversation we were having. “Or, we could ride into the Pale Mountains, if you like. There’s a trail I’ve never shown you that leads to a spectacular view of the valley.”
“Does it bother you?” she asked, still grinning. “Would you rather I were more naive?”
“No, of course not,” I replied. “I just don’t understand why,” I admitted. “Why me? You made me fall in love with you, Lia. Of course I was attracted to you, but I could have kept my distance if you’d allowed me. Why did you choose me? I’m likely the least appropriate person you could be with.”
“It wasn’t a conscious choice, Pet. I’m calculating, but not that calculating,” Lia replied, raising her eyebrows for emphasis. “Mamma was extremely excited you were coming for the season,” Lia observed. “I guess we all became caught up in her enthusiasm, even Mata,” she acknowledged. “I was impatient about seeing our guest of honor, scanning everyone as they arrived, searching for that severe face I remembered from my childhood. You had already captured my attention, you see,” Lia whispered, winking at me. “But then, this absolutely stunning woman appeared, from exactly the wrong side of the room, with elegant, long legs, and the most vibrant red hair. She paid no attention to the dancers, or any of the guests actually, as she crossed the edge of the ballroom, hazardously stepping in front of me. Before I knew what had happened, I’d nearly knocked her over,” Lia said, laughing.
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