A Crown of Blood and Ashes

by Elle Middaugh

  "You want something to keep his libido down? Or to keep him from getting it up?"

  I actually chuckled. "No, something a bit more discreet if you don't mind."

  She flipped through the pages of a massive, tattered tome. I had no idea how they didn't crumble away like dust when she touched them. The book looked absolutely ancient.

  Finally she stopped flipping and dragged a finger down the current page.

  "What about," she muttered musingly, "a potion of Altered Reality?"

  I leaned in closer, looking over her shoulder. "What does it do, exactly?"

  "Just a few drops, and in seconds, he'll pass out and start having hallucinative dreams. He'll imagine whatever he wants to see, and he'll believe it's really happening. He can dream of making love to the princess, and when he wakes up, he’ll believe they truly did the deed. Meanwhile, Autumn will only be plagued with administering the potion, not giving sexual favors."

  At some point, a smile had crept onto my face. My cheeks practically ached from the pull of it.

  "That's bloody brilliant! Thank you."

  She smiled and nodded. "Just hang tight while I gather the necessary ingredients."

  I wandered around the shop while she worked.

  Potions of all shapes, sizes, colors, and consistencies sat in neat rows along shelf after shelf, taking up most of the wall surfaces. Each one was sealed with tiny little corks that kept any strange smells at bay.

  Every once in a while I'd catch her giving me strange glances. Like she was of a mind to say something, but hadn't yet decided if it'd be prudent to do so.

  "Go on, Deidra," I said, breaking the ice for her. "Ask me what you need to ask."

  She dropped something that looked strangely like a bird's foot into a large, steaming kettle.

  "It's not a question. Merely an opinion."

  I shrugged. "Either way. I'm ready to hear it."

  "Are you?"

  A smile tugged at my lips. "I won't know until you tell me."

  "True." She heaved a deep sigh and stirred the pot. "I can't help but wonder what Princess Autumn thinks of all this."

  "Oh, she's not pleased. But neither am I, to be frank."

  Deidra shook her head and dusted my comment away with her free hand. "No, no—with your lackadaisical approach to handling this situation."

  My brows shot up. "Lackadaisical? I just risked my life coming here to find some sort of solution. How is that being apathetic in any way, shape, or form?"

  She squinted at me and considered. "I don't know. It's just the feeling I get. She was willing to risk her life to be with you, and you aren't willing to do the same."

  "Not true."

  Was it? No, of course it wasn't! I was here, wasn't I? That proved my willingness to die for her, didn't it? Just because I wasn't willing to run away or attempt murdering my maker—both of which would be instant death sentences—didn't make me a coward. Was that what she meant by me being unwilling to risk my life?

  Deidra merely shrugged, but I could tell she had a bit of an attitude toward me now.

  "Just remember: do nothing, gain nothing." She then emptied the contents of the kettle into a teardrop-shaped vial and corked the top. "Here you are."

  "Thanks."

  I took the potion a bit halfheartedly. But I couldn't leave. Not yet.

  I sighed. "What would you have me do? Kill Varek? Run away as she wishes?"

  "I cannot make that decision for you. But I feel sure there are other ways. Remember when I told you that the servant, Lyra, would be important?"

  I rolled my eyes, but nodded.

  She squinted and nodded too. “The time is coming soon.”

  I had no idea what the hell that meant, but it made me nervous nonetheless. I thanked her once more, and headed back out into the night, unsure if I was satisfied or displeased with the answer.

  21

  Autumn

  I was slowly getting used to the night shift. By the time I woke up, there were only a few hours left until dusk. The manor was apparently shaded somehow—maybe with reflective windows?—because there were a few vamps up and moving too. Namely, the ones in charge of prepping me for the wedding.

  I sat, unspeaking, as a vamp with purple hair and exquisite makeup beautified my face. It didn’t matter that I was already one of the prettiest girls here. Today had to be perfect.

  When my features were practically glowing, I was ushered to a sitting lounge, where a dozen gowns had been draped over the elegant furniture. I chose an off-white mermaid dress that shone like pure silk and showcased my breasts perfectly. The rest of the lustrous fabric clung seductively to my curves, augmenting my hourglass shape. Despite the shitty circumstances, I’d never felt so sexy.

  A crew of hairdressers entered the lounge and immediately got to work. My hair was brushed and conditioned until each golden strand gleamed. It was then curled and left to hang in loose waves down my back.

  I smelled like a peach cava love spell, and if that was the case, I sure as hell hoped it worked. I didn't know how else I was going to survive the nuptials. Varek was nice and all, handsome and charismatic, but this was not at all what I wanted.

  When my prep was complete, I was relocated to yet another room. From a chaise lounge, I could see diagonally through the doorway. There was some sort of commotion going on out in the hall. Tilting my head, I peeked further and saw a gorgeous, exotic-looking woman standing out there. I'd never met her, but I knew exactly who she was. The Bisharas were famous for their potent potions, particularly love spells. I'd need to watch Darren like a hawk. So help me God, if she potioned my vampire into loving her instead, I'd gouge her pretty eyes out.

  Speaking of the devil, Darren walked past my room then, on his way to meeting Yasmin. For some reason, he paused and glanced my way. I didn’t know if he knew I was in here, or it was just some sixth sense that connected us, but it warmed my blood.

  Though it was unwise, he slipped inside and eyed me up and down.

  "Autumn," he said, shaking his head, mesmerized. "You look beautiful."

  I smiled, though I felt like crying. My voice was shaky. "Thank you."

  "This should have been our wedding," he said quietly.

  I laughed and the tears really did start running then. "I'm not ready to be married at all. But I wish more than anything that it was to you."

  He moved closer, like he wanted to take my face in his hands and kiss away my pain, but stopped midstep.

  He couldn't touch me. I knew damn well. And it stung like a bitch.

  "I see your fiancée has arrived." I sniffed as more tears spilled.

  "Oh, Autumn," he said, shaking his head.

  It looked like he was about to cry too.

  "I'm sorry," he pleaded. "I'm so sorry. I hate this, too, I swear."

  More commotion erupted from outside. Laughter. Jokes. Happiness.

  Darren glanced into the hall then turned back to me.

  "I have to go. But you need to know... the whole time you're up there, every word you speak, I'm going to be pretending that it's me."

  Dear Jesus. If I thought I was weeping before, I was crying a river now.

  He came closer and risked touching my hand as he peeked over his shoulder.

  "I love you, Autumn Delarose. Remember that, and you'll make it through the day."

  I was broken. Shattered. Ripped into a hundred thousand pieces.

  "I love you too," I sobbed quietly.

  But I wasn’t worried about surviving a day. I was worried about surviving a lifetime.

  “Take this,” he whispered, slipping a vial from his suit coat. “A few drops in his drink before... bed,” he stressed the last word, eyeing me suggestively, “and everything will be fine.”

  My brows furrowed. “I don’t understand.”

  “You don’t need to. Just trust me.”

  Suddenly, I heard my prep team outside the room. I popped the tiny vial between my breasts just before they walked through the door. One
look at my face and the makeup artist fainted. The hairstylist stomped over and put a hand on her hip.

  "What the hell have you done?" she said, stabbing a finger at Darren.

  He put both hands up. "Nothing. I'm leaving."

  And with one final glance my way, he disappeared into the hall. To Yasmin. I could've puked.

  When they lifted the fallen vamp from the floor and started complaining about starting all over again, I stood and cut them off.

  "No need."

  I opened my palm and allowed my magic to transform my face. I wasn’t sure if I got it exactly right, but from the way they smiled, showing off their perfectly sharpened teeth, I must've looked a hundred times better.

  "It's time, then."

  Nodding, I followed them into the hallway and out the back door. A long red carpet had been rolled out, running all the way into the woods. Candles lit the walkway on each side, illuminating my path in a romantic glow.

  A member of my prep team handed me a small bouquet of roses. Another touched a hand to her ear and listened. She must've had an earpiece in. A moment later, she held up three fingers. Then two fingers. Then one. They gestured to the path, then shadowed, disappearing into the background, and I was left to take the long walk alone.

  I sucked in shallow, shaky breaths, and tried to calm my nerves.

  This is only pretend, I told myself.

  I mean, it was an actual ceremony, with a legit marriage at the end, but it wasn’t real. Not in my heart or mind. I was playing a role, and that was it. If I could convince myself of that, I might stop feeling like I was suffocating.

  At the end of the path was a boulder, mostly buried underground. On it stood Darren... right next to Varek. My heart bobbed up and down in my chest, unsure of which emotion to settle on: happiness at seeing Darren, or trepidation at seeing Varek.

  A whole crowd of wedding guests filtered through the trees all around. Each person was carrying a single lit candle, allowing the shadows to dance playfully across their smiling faces. None of the vampires seemed upset at their Lord marrying a witch. It felt strange to admit it, but the vampires definitely seemed more accepting than the witches ever were.

  Music floated to my ears. A typical wedding march, set to a dark and dangerous beat. Something about that seemed very vampiric to me. Taking a deep breath, I finished the walk to the end of my life. It felt like I was walking the plank.

  Varek smiled as he watched me approach. He looked incredibly handsome with his hand-tailored suit, and his brown hair gelled. But Darren was all I saw.

  I inched closer, holding my breath and holding back tears. Brides often cried on wedding days, I knew, but they were supposed to be tears of joy, not sorrow.

  Darren's brows were furrowed, drawn in tightly to hide any hint of emotion, but I could read him like a book. He was just as helpless and devastated as I was.

  When I reached the end of the aisle, the priest nodded and began reading some strange vows. They were similar to normal wedding oaths, but more specific to vampires.

  "Welcome, witnesses, children of the blood, as Varek Wells and Autumn Delarose pledge their love and dedication to walk the night together."

  When he was finished addressing the crowd, he tied our wrists together with a red sash.

  Flashbacks to my almost-marriage to Dominic rushed to my mind. I'd been bound with rope at that one. I’d also managed to escape that union. There was no such hope for this one.

  From off to the side, someone carried over a golden goblet holding two rings. The priest moved our bound hands above it.

  "Like this crimson cloth, your hearts will be tethered. Bound by blood and loyalty. Please take the rings."

  Varek took a massive diamond from the goblet and winked at me. Shakily, I grabbed the only one left—a wide gold band with a halo of diamonds in the middle.

  I could see Darren swallowing hard in the background. Sweat had broken out across his brow.

  "Repeat after me, Autumn," the priest said. "I will stand at your side, hunt at your back, and lead you when you need it."

  I tried to take a deep breath, but I still felt like I was suffocating. I peered over my soon-to-be husband's shoulder and gazed into the hazel eyes of the vampire I loved. Could I do this? Could I utter the words that would tear us apart forever? Varek smiled, trying to lend me confidence, but when Darren nodded, that was when I finally had the nerve to speak.

  "I will stand at your side," I told Darren, even though the lines were for Varek. "Hunt at your back. And lead you when you need it."

  The priest spoke again, and I repeated.

  "I will stand between you and all that would harm you. I will shield you from the light with my flesh. I will never betray you. You are my heart, my life, my eternity."

  Darren smiled and nodded, and I swear to God his eyes had become glassy. The thought of him on the verge of crying nearly did me in.

  After Varek repeated the words, servants rushed around silently, passing out tiny shot-sized glasses of what I could only assume was either wine or blood. I had a bad feeling it was the latter. Everyone in attendance received a glass—even Varek and me.

  The priest continued. "Above are stars, below are stones. May your love burn bright as a star, and remain strong as stone. Now, we seal the bond in blood."

  My heart hammered a mile a minute. I was going to have to drink... blood. Just the thought of it was abhorrent. I was going to embarrass myself royally; gag, puke, and ruin the whole ceremony.

  "It's okay," Varek whispered. "What's your least favorite alcohol?"

  I swallowed hard, choking down my nausea. "Maybe gin?"

  His smile brightened. "Okay, pretend it’s a shot of gin. Just get it over with quickly."

  I nodded and finally raised my glass.

  When the crimson liquid got to my lips, I made the mistake of sniffing it. Hints of iron and salt filled my lungs and swirled around in the pit of my stomach, instantly making me want to hurl.

  Damn you, Autumn! I scolded myself. Just drink it!

  Before I could chicken out, I tipped the glass and gulped it down, squeezing my eyes against the incessant urge to vomit. After taking a few deep gulps of air, I finally opened my eyes to find Varek smiling down at me, completely enchanted. He seemed to be in this thing for real. Guilt instantly coursed through me.

  "In the eyes of the gods and the witnesses here today, I now proclaim these two husband and wife. They are bound in blood, and therefore, they are one for eternity. You may now seal the bond with a kiss."

  Varek approached me slowly, hesitantly, like I was some wild animal that might flee at any moment. He carefully slid one hand around my waist and the other up my neck and into my hair. Before I even realized this was truly happening, his lips were on mine, gently grazing my tongue with his in a heated passion that sent waves of heat throbbing through my core and pooling between my legs.

  His aura. I knew it was there, overwhelming my senses, but I couldn't seem to fight it. I ran my fingers through his hair, and curled my body into his. Suddenly the crowd erupted into applause, cheers, and whistles.

  When Varek finally pulled away, he lifted our bound hands into the air with a triumphant smile and led me back across the red carpet.

  Looking behind me, I shared a parting glance with Darren. He seemed to be as gutted as I felt. Every feature in his beautiful face was strained. Every muscle in his incredible body was taut. I wanted to run to him, but instead I followed Varek—my husband—through the woods and back to the manor.

  We entered the hallway and were then guided by my prep crew down a set of stairs I'd never seen before. I didn't even know there was a lower level. Though I shouldn't have been surprised; the manor was enormous. Almost as large as our castle back home.

  Home. Ha! The word was laughable. Home was where your heart was. Darren was my home. And right now I was lost, far, far away.

  We were quickly led into an enormous, elaborately decorated room. Tables were set up on both sides, a
glowing bar complete with four tenders took up the back, and a giant dance floor dominated the middle.

  Varek and I were seated in two elegant thrones at the head of a long table. I watched nervously as countless vampires filed in gracefully after us.

  Varek leaned over as our guests began taking their seats. "I can't wait to carry you over the threshold to my room and consummate this union."

  He put a hand on my knee and slowly slid it higher. His aura was hot and passionate, and it filled me with desire.

  "I want to part these legs with my tongue."

  Dear Jesus, I was squirming. My lips had inadvertently parted, drawing his gaze.

  "You want it too, don't you?"

  Breathlessly, I nodded. I didn't trust my voice to speak.

  He leaned in closer, his lips just a hair's width from mine. "Do you want it right now? I will gladly skip the party if it means getting to the after-party sooner."

  I licked my lips and glanced over his shoulder to where Darren sat, charming the pants off little miss Yasmin. Almost literally. Maybe. It didn't even matter. Even though it did.

  For a moment, I hesitated. Then Varek's aura hit me harder, filling every pore of my skin with an intense need for pleasure. And still his hand climbed further up my leg. The movement had me all but panting, until his fingers grazed my soaking wet panties. He closed his eyes and bit his lip, ratcheting up my excitement.

  I quickly leaned in and bridged the tiny gap between us, raking my tongue across his in a desperate attempt to calm the fire burning within me. But it didn't help. It only fanned the flames.

  Darren had warned me that this would happen. I’d just always imagined myself as a glorious heroine, doing what no one had done before—resisting the sex-god aura of a vampire Lord. But I was failing miserably.

  Varek quickly scooped me up, and with our mouths still attached, carried me back out of the room.

  The last thing I saw was Darren's stoic expression as he did nothing but watch us leave.

  22

  Darren