Wayward Hearts

by Susan Anne Mason

  “By George, I think you’ve got it.”

  Maxi laughed and then reached over to give Nick a huge hug. “How’d I get so lucky to have you as a friend?”

  Nick’s cell phone buzzed saving him from answering. Maxi moved back and wiped her face with the remnants of a tissue.

  “Hi, honey. Yeah, I found her. We’re packing boxes at the farm.” He handed the phone to Maxi. “Lily wants to talk to you.”

  As much as she wanted to hide out and not talk to anyone, Maxi knew she had to speak to her friend. “Hi. How’s little Annabelle?”

  “She’s great. But how are you?” The genuine concern in Lily’s voice caused more emotion to well up.

  “I’ve been better.”

  “I can’t believe that Gloria person. Now I know why you dislike her so much.”

  “Yeah, well, Jason’s not blameless in this either.”

  “It’s all so unfair.” Lily sighed on the other end of the phone. “Nick told you about staying here, didn’t he? Once Annabelle’s in bed, we’ll have a chance to talk this through and figure out—”

  “There’s nothing to figure out, Lil. The farm is sold. I’m packing up what I can, and I’m heading back to New York. Philippe is making his final decision today or tomorrow.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Lily said again. A few seconds of silence followed. “Before you go back, can you do me one favor? Drop in and say good-bye to Dora Lee? She’s been asking about you.”

  Maxi pushed the hair off her forehead. How could she have forgotten to call Dora Lee? “Sure. I’d like to say good-bye and wish her good luck. I need to see my mother first, though.”

  “Great. Then come here for a late dinner. I’ll see you then.”

  Maxi ended the call and handed the phone to Nick with a watery smile. “Guess who’s coming to dinner?”

  ****

  After a quick but uncomfortable trip to the Cut ’N Curl to see her mother and drop off some real estate papers, Maxi headed over to the shelter to see Dora Lee. The stark sympathy on her mother’s face, combined with the out-and-out sorrow on Peg’s, had almost been too much to bear. Not to mention the stares and whispers of the ladies in rollers. Did the whole town know about her feelings for Jason?

  Dora Lee greeted her at the doorway of the shelter with an enthusiastic hug. At least one person was treating her in a normal fashion.

  “I’m so glad to see you. Come in.” Dora Lee literally glowed. She’d kept her new hairstyle and was wearing neat, clean clothing. Not the baggy sweats Maxi had first met her in.

  They walked into the living room where little Robbie sat watching a children’s program on TV while he played with some toy cars.

  “So much has happened. I couldn’t wait to tell you. But Lily said you’d gone back to New York.” The disappointment on her face made Maxi wince.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I had to go for a quick visit to settle something.” They both sat on the overstuffed couch. “Have they found you a new place to stay?”

  Dora Lee grinned. “Yes. And the best part is, I’m able to stay in Rainbow Falls.”

  Maxi had never even let herself think about that possibility. Maybe that was why she’d kept herself from fully embracing a friendship with Dora Lee. “But what about Dennis?”

  Dora Lee put her hand on Maxi’s arm. “My lawyer told me that with you and Leslie to give evidence, it won’t be only my word against his, and he’ll most likely go to prison.” She squeezed Maxi in a hard bear hug. “God brought you into my life. You’ve given me so much. I don’t know how I can ever begin to thank you.”

  When Dora Lee pulled away, tears in the woman’s eyes made Maxi jumpy. “I didn’t do much except give you a couple of hairstyling tips.”

  “Are you kidding? You gave me back my confidence. You stood up to Dennis for me. You showed me how wonderful it is to feel good again. I look better. I feel better. My son is even improving. See how well he’s playing.”

  “I’m not responsible for all that—”

  “Yes, you are. Directly or indirectly.” She laughed. “I’m going to hairdressing school, too. Lily and Leslie have offered to babysit during my class times.”

  The girl’s joy was contagious. For one brief moment, Maxi set aside her own pain and let herself celebrate with this courageous woman. “I’m so happy for you. You two are going to be just fine.”

  “Yes, we are. The only thing better would be having you here to share it.” Dora Lee stood and wiped her eyes. “Hey. Don’t listen to me. I’m being selfish. You have your great job in New York. By the way, did you get the partnership?”

  Maxi stood as well. “I’ll find out soon. Within the next day or two.”

  “Well, I’m sure you’ll get it. Those pictures you showed me were awesome.”

  They walked out into the hallway and paused by the front door, where Dora Lee hugged Maxi again. “I wanted to thank you for everything and wish you all the best. And whenever you come home for a visit, I’d be thrilled if you’d call. Maybe come over for coffee.”

  Maxi fought to speak from a throat that had gone bone dry. The simple beauty of this girl’s friendship floored her. “Of course. I’d love to.” She jerked her head toward the living room. “Tell Robbie I’ll see him again soon. Maybe we can get some ice cream next time I’m home.”

  “He’d love that.”

  Maxi stepped out the open door and looked back over her shoulder. “And don’t forget. I expect an invitation to your graduation.”

  Dora Lee’s face shone. “You got it.”

  Maxi waved good-bye as she backed out of the driveway. She drove away slowly, marveling at the courage and faith Dora Lee had demonstrated. After all the girl had been through, she was picking herself up and starting a new life for herself and her son. If Dora Lee could be that strong, starting over from scratch and facing an uncertain future, could Maxi do anything less?

  She smiled to herself, wondering how the tables had turned and the mentor had now become the pupil.

  ****

  Before she drove to Nick and Lily’s for the night, Maxi had one more important stop to make. A visit long overdue. She pulled up to the curb in front of the Good Shepherd Church, cut the engine, and sat trying to gather the will to do what she knew she must.

  After several minutes, she pushed out of the vehicle and strode around the building to the cemetery situated behind.

  Though she hadn’t been here since the day of Drew’s funeral, Maxi remembered the exact spot. Of course, the large stone monument topped with a cherub made it impossible to miss. Her steps slowed the closer she came. She bit down on her trembling lip as if to hold the emotion at bay.

  The angelic smile of her younger brother stared back at her from the photo her mother had insisted on embedding in the tomb. She wished she’d thought to bring some flowers to lay on the barren grave.

  “Hey, Drew. Bet you’re surprised to see me here.” A breeze lifted her hair from her forehead. “I guess Dad’s up there with you now, and he’s probably told you all about my...mistakes. You know how badly I messed up the night you died and how much I wish I could change what happened.” Her voice broke. “But I can’t change it. So I have to try to get past the guilt and move on with my life. I don’t know if I can forgive myself, unless I know you forgive me.” Tears leaked down her cheeks. “Can you forgive me, Drew?”

  Her question hovered in the air then blew away on the breeze. Maxi shook her head. Did she really expect her brother to answer? She lowered herself to sit cross-legged on the grass.

  “I’m so sorry, Drew. I was stupid and selfish, and I regret it every minute of every day.”

  She laid her head on her knees and let the sorrow drain out of her along with her tears. Finally she sniffed and wiped her face on her sleeve. “You know, Jason’s got himself in a heap of trouble. Looks like we’re not meant to be together after all. And I have to learn to live with that.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “I guess I need to accept Jason’s decisi
on and move forward with my own life. With my career in New York. As long as I know you’re OK and Dad’s OK, and that you both forgive me, I think I might be able to do that.”

  With a quiet sigh, she waited in silence and listened to the sounds of nature around her. The lilt of the breeze, the cry of a bird overhead.

  A thought whispered through her. Maybe it wasn’t just Drew’s forgiveness she needed.

  She bowed her head. “Lord, I’m sorry for being so angry at You for so long. Please forgive me for that, and for my carelessness with Drew, my anger at my father, my neglect of my mother.” She paused. “I need your help to let go of the hatred toward Gloria and Sierra. Change my heart, Lord. Let Your grace soften me, and help me accept your will for my life.”

  A sense of rightness filled her being. Slowly, a feeling of peace invaded her tense muscles. When she opened her eyes and looked up at the clear sky, she had to blink twice. Though not a cloud or hint of a storm threatened, a double rainbow streaked across the sky.

  Maxi smiled through the remnants of her tears with calm certainty that God had placed the arc there as a sign for her. A sign of hope that everything would be all right after all.

  For the first time, she believed it.

  27

  Two days after finding Maxi at Gloria’s, Jason pulled his truck into the Johnson’s driveway. He stared straight ahead, his mind and senses numb. Beside him, Gloria’s inane chatter became a muted din in the background that didn’t penetrate the fog he’d created around his brain. Now that they’d obtained their marriage license and made arrangements with Nick to do the ceremony, reality sank onto his shoulders like a two-ton load of bricks.

  “I’ll guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  The change in Gloria’s voice pulled him back into his body. She sat looking at him expectantly, waiting for something.

  “Maybe. I have an evening shift at the fire station, though. So it may not be ’til the next day.”

  Her pouting plump pink lips left him cold. “You can at least call me.”

  “I’ll try.” His conscience twinged at his less than enthusiastic response. Somehow he had to try harder to make an effort. He twisted in his seat to face her. “Look, Gloria. I need to be honest here. I can’t pretend to be madly in love with you when I’m not.”

  Her face crumpled, lines appearing on her forehead.

  “I want to make this work. But you’re going to have to bear with me for a while.” He paused. “With God’s help, I’m going to try to be the husband you deserve and the best father I can to this baby. For now, let’s start by being friends, and hopefully love will grow with time.”

  She studied him for a moment and then nodded. “I can be patient, Jason. After all, we’ve got the rest of our lives, don’t we?”

  She exited the truck and walked up the brick walkway to her porch, where she turned to give him a cheery wave before disappearing inside.

  Jason scrubbed a hand over his face, Gloria’s words echoing in his head. We’ve got the rest of our lives, don’t we?

  If ever he needed God’s help, it was now. His mother was so distraught, she would barely speak to him. Bernice’s quiet disapproval followed her chair every time she left a room. And Maxi…Well, Maxi would never forgive him. That was a given.

  His chest contracted in a painful spasm at the thought. He rubbed an absent hand over the area before shifting the truck into reverse. A pink piece of paper on the floor of the passenger seat caught his eye. He pushed the vehicle into park and reached over to pick up what looked like an appointment card. It must have fallen out of Gloria’s purse.

  He turned it over and scanned the name. Kingsville Family Planning Center. Anxiety snaked up his spine as a hundred thoughts flew through his head.

  He read the date on the card. Gloria had an appointment there in two weeks. Maybe it was just a regular pre-natal checkup. But a nagging sense of unease rippled through him. He searched his memory for something Gloria had told him and snapped upright in his seat. She’d said her obstetrician, Dr. Shepherd, worked out of the Kingsville Hospital. So what was she doing going to a Family Planning Center?

  Doubts and suspicions swirled through the mist of his mind as he stared at the slip of paper. He had to get to the bottom of this—now. Tamping back his anger and confusion, Jason cut the engine and jumped out of the cab.

  At that moment, Gloria appeared on the front porch, a confused smile on her face. “You’re still here. Did you forget something?”

  His feet became rooted to the spot like the ancient willow in the front yard. He swallowed and then slowly held out the appointment card. “You dropped this in my truck.”

  She came down the stairs, approaching him with wary hesitation, as though nearing a mad dog on a leash. Maybe his expression gave his thoughts away.

  She reached out to take the card from his hand and her fingers brushed his.

  “What kind of procedure are you having done at the Kingsville Family Planning Center?” The question erupted from him in a harsh accusatory tone. He hoped his blunt question would be enough to get her to tell the truth.

  Horror filled her blue eyes. The cell phone in her hand clattered to the walkway and broke apart, the case flying into the grass.

  He clenched his teeth together so hard his jaw ached. Her reaction told him it was nothing as innocent as he’d hoped.

  “What are you talking about?” Clearly flustered, she bent to retrieve the fragmented phone.

  “The appointment you have booked. What sort of procedure are you having done?”

  She straightened, eyes wide. “You called them?”

  “I did.” He prayed forgiveness for this tiny lie to further his bluff.

  A swatch of red bled across her cheeks. “How dare you—”

  “I dare because it involves our child. Now answer the question.”

  Her whole body shook like a leaf in a windstorm. She bit her bottom lip and shrugged one shoulder. “Just one of those amnio things. A routine test.”

  Jason grabbed her arm, trying to control the urge to shake her until her teeth rattled. “Don’t lie to me, Gloria. I know those tests aren’t done until much later in the pregnancy, and they aren’t routine. You’re having an abortion, aren’t you?”

  Her mouth opened and closed. A film of tears formed in her eyes. She seemed incapable of answering him.

  “If you don’t tell me the truth, I’ll go down to the clinic myself and get them to tell me.”

  She gasped. “You have no right—”

  “No right?” A red haze obscured his vision. “I have every right. It’s my child we’re talking about here.”

  She wrenched away from him, causing red welts to rise on her skin. Tears now leaked down her cheeks. “It’s my body. I can do whatever I want.”

  Outrage filled him until he thought he’d explode. “So you were going to marry me and then get rid of our child? And what? Pretend you had a miscarriage?”

  She wrapped her arms around her torso and took one step backward, then another.

  “I won’t let you do this, Gloria. I won’t let you get rid of our child like a piece of unwanted trash. I’ll get a lawyer and a court injunction to legally prevent you from doing this.”

  Real fear and a spark of something else flashed across Gloria’s pale face. “You can’t do that. You have no legal rights because you’re not the father.” Her hand flew to her mouth as though she could recapture the words that had escaped.

  His breath whooshed out like he’d been sucker punched. “What did you say?”

  She stood, shaking her head.

  He took a step toward her, adrenaline pumping through his veins. “I want the truth, Gloria. And I want it now.”

  She sank onto one of the porch steps, her shoulders hunched over her knees. Huge sobs shook her body, but he refused to feel sympathy for her. Blonde hair fell like a pale curtain around her as she rocked back and forth.

  Jason stood right in front of her, and despite the rage warrin
g for release, softened his voice a notch. “Is this baby mine?”

  After several beats of silence, she raised her wet face to look at him. “No,” she whispered and buried her face into her hands, weeping inconsolably.

  Jason stood rooted to the spot like one of the statues in their garden and let the words sink in. His mind could not comprehend the depth of her deception. “Whose baby is it?”

  Her muffled reply was barely audible. “Marco’s.”

  Another shaft of pain shot through him. She’d lied to him about Marco. His former best friend had finally succeeded in getting one of Jason’s girlfriends to sleep with him. And now Gloria wanted him to raise Marco’s child? How could she do this to him? “Why me? Why not Marco?”

  She lifted her head again. “Because I love you, not him. I always have, Jason.”

  He gave a harsh laugh. “You have a funny way of showing it. Sleeping with my best friend.”

  “It wasn’t like that. I turned Marco down every time. Until after you dumped me. I felt so betrayed. So used. I wanted to get back at you for hurting me that way.”

  Remembering back, guilt and regret rose in his chest. Shame over his own failings had colored his thinking after that one night of indiscretion. He’d been convinced Gloria had seduced him on purpose and anger had him believing she deserved no explanation for his actions. He’d been mistaken.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice gruff. “I never knew you had feelings for me. I thought it was all a big game to you.”

  More tears trickled down her cheeks. “I could never get your attention, Jason. When you finally asked me out, I was thrilled. But it wasn’t long before I could feel you pulling away. I had to do something to keep you around. I thought if we slept together, you’d feel something for me, too.” She gulped back a sob. “I wanted this baby to be yours.”

  He felt a tug of sympathy for her despite everything she’d done. The one thing he did understand was caring about someone so much you’d do almost anything.

  “I’m sorry, Gloria. But you need to talk to Marco before you do something drastic. He has a right to know.” He paused to gentle his voice. “And your baby has a right to live.”