“Look, I know this is strange,” Caleb said, hoping Ethan wouldn’t notice that his tone had changed. “But it really is okay. Platonic sex is nothing new, and that’s more or less what this is.”
“Well, it’s not sex yet.” Ethan licked his lips. “But I want it to be. I’m just…”
“Scared?” Caleb finished for him. Ethan nodded, looking down at Caleb’s chest.
Caleb’s heart went out to him. Of course he was scared. Ethan’s whole life, his whole image of himself was changing right in front of him, and this was all new. It was time Caleb stopped worrying about whether or not he was going to get hurt and focused on helping Ethan in whatever way he could.
“Take my hand.” Caleb let go of Ethan’s waist and offered his hand. Ethan looked at it for a moment, then took it and squeezed it tightly. The fear and uncertainty on his face started to fade, replaced by a tiny, tentative smile.
“Okay,” he said, linking their fingers together.
“Now come down here and kiss me.” Caleb beamed at him. “We’ve got all morning to ourselves. There’s no rush at all.”
“Yeah, okay,” Ethan leaned down, rocking his hips against Caleb’s again as he moved, his cock still hard. Caleb caught his lips eagerly, kissing harder this time, sucking on the lower one as Ethan leaned on him again.
Given half a chance, Caleb could have gotten used to this. He knew better than to let himself, but it was still nice.
“All morning?” Ethan asked, his cheeks flushed and his eyes starting to glaze over. Caleb chuckled, glad he was getting over his nervousness and starting to enjoy himself.
“We actually don’t need to be anywhere until three. So you’ve got me for a solid seven hours or so.”
“Might have to cut the foreplay a little short.” Ethan smirked, leaning in to kiss Caleb again. Caleb hummed happily into his mouth, squeezing his hand and sliding one leg out from under them to throw it over Ethan’s hip and hook his foot around Ethan’s leg, holding his body closer.
Seven hours of this sounded amazing.
Chapter Thirteen
“Are you sure about this?” Ethan asked for what felt like the hundredth time. He couldn’t get it to sink in that Caleb might actually want to have sex with him.
Despite the fact that a minute ago, Caleb had handed him condoms and lube and told him to stop teasing and fuck him. That had felt good. He’d never had a woman get forceful like that.
“Yes. Please. I can’t take it anymore,” Caleb said. Ethan had never seen him like this, flushed and needy, squirming on the bed under him, practically begging for his cock.
If this was what it was like with all men, Ethan wished he’d thought to experiment sooner. Or at least, almost wished. He was glad this was happening with Caleb. It felt right.
“Okay, okay,” Ethan soothed. “Take me through what I need to do.”
“Put the condom on first, trust me.” Caleb licked his lips, his chest heaving with every breath. Ethan knew his was as well, excitement and arousal making his chest tight. He couldn’t remember ever wanting sex this much, with anyone.
He followed Caleb’s instruction, gasping as he touched his own cock. Rubbing up against Caleb for however long they’d been doing it—it had seemed like days—hadn’t helped with his own neediness, and now he knew he wouldn’t last all that long. Neither would Caleb, though, judging by the pool of precome on his stomach.
“I don’t need a lot of prep,” Caleb said. “But plenty of lube, okay? You can start with two fingers as long as they’re really slick.”
Ethan nodded, grabbing the tube Caleb had given him earlier from where he’d left it on the bed beside them. He flicked open the cap and poured a generous bead onto his index and middle finger, spreading it slowly with his thumb, testing the texture. It was cold at first, but it started to warm up as he played with it.
“Two fingers at once?” Ethan double-checked. “Are you sure?”
Caleb nodded. “Trust me. I’m used to this.”
To Ethan’s surprise, a wave of jealousy washed over him. Every boyfriend Caleb had been with in the time they’d known known each other had been a horrible person. Not one of them had deserved to see Caleb like this, flushed and panting and so shockingly beautiful. Ethan hadn’t expected to feel even half this much.
“Okay.” Ethan took a deep breath, then moved his hand behind Caleb’s balls, inching his fingers back until he found what he was looking for. Caleb gasped under him, his hips rising off the bed, giving Ethan more space to work.
With a final burst of courage, Ethan pressed his fingers against Caleb, his stomach flipping as he felt them slide in, faster and easier than he’d imagined. He had to pause for a moment to take in what he was feeling—the inside of Caleb’s body was impossibly warm, so much hotter than he was used to. Tighter, as well. Different in so many ways, but familiar, too.
He wanted more of it, could already imagine sinking into Caleb’s heat and being surrounded by it. It was overwhelming, enough to make his pulse pound in his ears and his mouth dry.
“Oh, wow,” Ethan murmured, looking down at where his fingers were fully seated inside Caleb and feeling the tips of his ears burn at the thought. He’d never even imagined doing this before, and now here he was.
Ethan got the feeling that this shouldn’t have been the huge turn-on that it was, but he couldn’t be bothered worrying about it. Caleb was giving him the freedom to see what he liked, and he liked this. He liked the way Caleb’s breathing had sped up, the way he was bearing down on Ethan’s fingers, all of it.
“I am definitely into guys,” Ethan said. It felt like a weight off his chest to say it out loud. He owed Caleb for this.
Caleb laughed. “You think?”
“Shut up.” Ethan twisted his fingers, earning himself a low moan. His own cock twitched as Caleb rolled his hips, spreading his legs further. Ethan licked his lips semi-consciously, watching eagerly as Caleb opened up for him.
Ethan couldn’t remember ever feeling this wanted. The way Caleb was moaning and writhing against him felt so good, so hot he barely knew how to handle it. He pumped his fingers in and out an inch or so at a time, feeling the smooth glide inside Caleb’s body and understanding what he’d meant by not needing much prep work, now. Caleb felt relaxed already, everything about him calm and experienced.
Now he was sharing that experience with Ethan. That felt important, meaningful in a way Ethan wasn’t sure he fully understood yet. Caleb was trusting him, and he was thrilled to have earned that trust.
“I could use a little more than fingers when you’re done staring,” Caleb said, almost as though he’d read Ethan’s mind.
Not needing to be told twice, Ethan removed his fingers and wiped the remainder of the lube on his own cock. He wasn’t sure how much Caleb actually needed, but he wanted to err on the side of too much rather than too little. The last thing he intended was to hurt him.
Ethan lined himself up, hooking one of Caleb’s thighs over his hip and scooting under Caleb’s body, supporting him with his free hand. Caleb wasn’t so heavy that Ethan couldn’t lift him comfortably, which he was starting to think was another thing he liked. If he was going to go for men, they were going to be more Caleb’s size than his own.
As soon as he pressed the head of his cock against the entrance to Caleb’s body, he had to pause to take a breath. He could feel Caleb’s heat already, and he wanted so badly to sink into it. This was why Caleb had told him to put the condom on first. Stopping now to do it would have been torture.
Ethan bit down on his lip and took a few deep, calming breaths, closing his eyes briefly before opening them again to look down at Caleb. His chest was heaving and his cock felt heavy, tension coiled in his hips, wanting to thrust into Caleb’s warmth without restraint. He could wait, though. He’d wait until he had Caleb’s say-so.
“For the last time, are you totally sure about this?” Ethan asked. If Caleb said no, it might have been enough to bring him to tears with frustration, but doing so
mething like this against Caleb’s wishes would be much, much worse.
“Dammit Ethan, fuck me,” Caleb growled, rolling his hips to push down on Ethan’s cock. Finally satisfied that this was what Caleb wanted, Ethan drove forward, shutting his eyes tightly as he sheathed himself in Caleb’s heat, gritting his teeth to stop himself from coming immediately.
Caleb was so hot inside that it made Ethan gasp. He thought he’d been expecting it, but his cock was way more sensitive than his fingers. It felt as though Caleb’s whole body was squeezing him tight, and he knew better than to move if he wanted to avoid hurting him. That was maybe the most surprising thing about this. How natural and obvious it felt while he was doing it. He’d expected to need careful instructions the whole time, but that was clearly not how this worked.
Ethan panted to get his breath back, finally managing to open his eyes again and stare down at Caleb, who looked about as far gone as he was. This really wasn’t going to last, but it was going to feel amazing.
Maybe the secret to great sex really was in the foreplay. Or maybe it was in doing it with someone you cared about, someone who cared about you back. He cared about Caleb more than he was willing to admit, even to himself.
Reaching out, Ethan put his hand on Caleb’s stomach, splaying his fingers next to Caleb’s cock. Caleb made a low, needy sound and rolled his hips tentatively.
After another moment of getting himself under control, Ethan leaned forward, shifting for better leverage. The position was new to him, but he could already see how to make it work. He could feel Caleb’s eyes on him, watching him closely.
“You okay?” Ethan asked. Caleb let out a breath and nodded in response, and Ethan felt his body relaxing again, tight muscles becoming less tense, the way he held himself less rigid.
“You’re a little bigger than I thought you were. This is why I usually go for a blowjob first.”
“Sorry,” Ethan said, blushing. He wasn’t entirely sure how to take that, but Caleb hadn’t said it like it was a bad thing.
“Oh, don’t apologize.” Caleb smiled slowly. “I’m not sorry at all.”
Ethan smiled back at him, tracing circles on his thigh. “Good. Ready?”
“So ready,” Caleb said, his tone lazy. “Do your worst.”
“I was gonna go with my best.” Ethan leaned forward, wrapping a hand around Caleb’s shoulder and taking a deep breath. He wriggled his hips, positioning himself exactly where he wanted to be, and then pulled out almost all the way.
Caleb held his breath in anticipation, which was exactly what Ethan wanted. He slid home again with one long stroke, making Caleb moan under him. As much as Ethan wanted to take this slow, keep Caleb on the edge for hours, leave them both wrung out and exhausted, he couldn’t bring himself to draw it out any longer.
Instead, he sped up on his next stroke, keeping it hard and shallow, and the next one faster again. Caleb’s body was so warm, so inviting. Anything short of rocking his hips endlessly against it, soaking up every hitched breath and needy moan, would never be enough right now.
They could go slow when they were tired out after the first round.
“You feel amazing,” Ethan said, barely louder than a breath. Caleb responded by grabbing hold of Ethan’s jaw and pulling him down to kiss him, biting at his lip, then forcing his tongue into Ethan’s mouth, licking his palate. It wasn’t one of the soft, gentle kisses from before. This one was all sex and need, spurring Ethan on even more.
“Harder,” Caleb gasped between kisses, wrapping his legs around Ethan’s waist, pressing their bodies together. Ethan could feel the hard line of Caleb’s cock rubbing against his belly, slick precome making it slide between them. That was almost as hot as being inside him, knowing that Caleb was getting off on this, too, that it wasn’t just Ethan using him.
Ethan braced himself against the headboard to give Caleb what he wanted, building up the force of each stroke until they all shook the bed, one after another, the mattress squeaking under them. Caleb gasped and moaned under him, meeting Ethan’s thrusts, squeezing him hard with every stroke.
It felt so good to be able to do this to Caleb. To have him writhing and whimpering and needy under him, to wring heartfelt groans of pleasure out of him. The more he did it, the more Ethan wanted. He wanted to see Caleb like this again and again, getting off because of him. It felt so good, so right. This was how sex was meant to be.
Ethan could feel himself getting close, his balls tight and heavy. He hadn’t expected it to feel this good, but he’d always known he wasn’t going to last. Shifting his position again to go for longer, firmer strokes, he looked down to see Caleb’s eyes screwed shut, his mouth hanging open. Bliss written unmistakably across his features.
“I’m gonna come,” Ethan gritted out. Caleb moaned lowly, grabbing at Ethan’s back and digging his fingers in hard, arching his back so that there wasn’t an inch of space between them, gripping Ethan tight with his thighs. It was all too much, heat and pressure and need building low in Ethan’s gut, making him feel as though he was about to burst.
He picked up speed again, only a few strokes away from finishing, his head spinning and his heart hammering. Just once, twice, three more times and Ethan’s hips stilled, a groan tearing out of his throat from deep in his chest as he came.
A half-second later, he felt Caleb come between them, a hot, sticky burst onto his stomach. The sensation left Ethan dizzy, the newness and excitement of all of it leaving him gasping for air as he came down.
He’d just had sex with a man. Earth-shattering, headboard-banging, really good sex. With his best friend.
Somehow, the world hadn’t ended. Other than satisfied down to his bones, he didn’t even feel any different.
Ethan stared down at Caleb, who looked as though he was on the verge of falling asleep. He’d done that. He’d never seen Caleb look so at peace before, and he’d been the one to get him there.
Right now, that felt huge. Ethan had told himself in the first place that this was about exploring his own sexuality, but there’d been a thread of Caleb’s happiness running through it the whole time. The faintest thought that maybe, he was the someone better who Caleb deserved.
As terrifying thoughts went, that one shot straight to the top of the list. He didn’t want to be Caleb’s boyfriend. He was enjoying playing pretend, but…
But was as far as he could get. There was no but. There was nothing after the part where he was enjoying this, where he liked the kisses and the cuddles and he really, really liked the sex.
Realizing that he was on a life-changing train of thought, Ethan did the most mature thing he could under the circumstances: shoved it out of his head, and resolved not to think about it again.
He rolled away from Caleb, flopping down onto the other side of the bed. It hadn’t been all that warm when he’d woken up, but now between the serious workout Caleb had just demanded of him and the sun shining brightly through the curtains, the room was about as hot and sticky as he was.
“Are you sure you’ve never done that before?” Caleb asked after a moment, his voice scratchy from overuse. Ethan couldn’t help smiling to himself. He’d done that, too. Left a mark on Caleb.
He liked that, but it felt too close to the line of thought he’d just forced himself to stop dwelling on, so he shoved it aside, as well.
“Pretty sure,” Ethan said, focusing on his breathing. Caleb had worn him out way more than any girl ever had. He didn’t hate that, either.
“Well, you’re gonna make someone very happy one day.” Caleb laughed. “I don’t think I could stand right now.”
“Me either,” Ethan agreed. “How long until we need to be up and out?”
“Clock’s too far away to find out. I have an alarm set.”
Ethan laughed at that. “Yeah, okay, but I’d like to shower before then.”
“Give me ten minutes and I’ll help,” Caleb said. “That is, uh. If you want my help after…”
“I do.” Ethan swall
owed. He really, really wanted to shower with Caleb. “I could go for waiting ten minutes, too.”
To Ethan’s surprise, Caleb grabbed his hand. He didn’t remember letting go of it, but he was glad of the comfort now.
“You scared?” Ethan asked, since hand-holding had become a signal for that while they’d been here.
“Yes. But I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” Ethan squeezed Caleb’s fingers. “Just let me know if you do.”
When Caleb said nothing, he let his eyes fall closed. Things were too good right now to risk analyzing them too closely. He could worry about the future when the future started happening.
Chapter Fourteen
Sex with Ethan had been so good—much better than Caleb had expected, though he was willing to admit that he hadn’t been expecting much from a straight man. Or a formerly straight man, perhaps. In any case, Ethan hadn’t just exceeded his expectations, he’d exceeded pretty much all of his previous best times.
Not to mention the shower afterward. Caleb could still feel the ghost of Ethan’s body pressing him against the cool tiles, kissing him eagerly at first, and then sweetly. Splaying his hands over Caleb’s body and making happy sounds at everything he came to. Whispering promises about what they were going to do later in his ear.
All that after they’d had sex, which was around the time most men lost interest in him. Not because he wasn’t fun in bed—he’d never had that complaint—but because he was a lot more fun to chase than he was to catch.
At least, that was the conclusion Caleb had come to. Ethan didn’t seem to feel that way, though. He’d been as enthusiastic post-sex as he had been beforehand.
Caleb was still telling himself not to get attached, but every time he looked over at Ethan enjoying himself, something pulled in his chest and butterflies exploded in his stomach.
Now, he was watching Ethan run up and down the beach playing with the kids, and cursing himself for getting into this mess in the first place. Ethan was perfect, and Caleb was going to get his heart broken. This would be the worst heartbreak of all, because he wouldn’t just be losing a boyfriend this time. He’d be losing the most important person in the world.
The Wedding Date Page 8