It was too good to be true, but Caleb wanted so badly to believe it might be.
Ethan hooked his fingers into the waistband of Caleb’s underwear and tugged, pulling them down to pool around his ankles along with his shorts.
“This is where I start needing instructions,” Ethan said, even as he reached up to frame Caleb’s hips with his hands.
“Most of my blood is not in my brain right now.” Caleb reached out to stroke Ethan’s hair automatically. “But umm. You’re not trying to get the whole thing in your mouth unless you’re a porn star. Use your tongue. You’ve had this done to you before, right?”
“Uh. No.” Ethan blushed. “Don’t laugh.”
“I’m not laughing,” Caleb said. “I’m just thinking that we should definitely switch positions after this.”
“I’m not gonna say no to that,” Ethan murmured, his attention drifting to Caleb’s cock. It was already starting to harden in anticipation of what was about to happen.
“Whatever you do is okay,” Caleb encouraged. “It’s all gonna feel good.”
Caleb watched as Ethan leaned in, gasping when he pressed a wet, open-mouthed kiss to the soft skin of his stomach. Other guys were usually all business when they got to this point, but Ethan was obviously exploring.
Exploring, Caleb decided, was good.
While Caleb watched, Ethan nuzzled his way down, kissing softly as he went until he reached the neat patch of hair between Caleb’s legs. Caleb’s knees weakened as Ethan darted forward and licked a stripe up his cock, finishing with a swirl of his tongue at the head. For a guy who’d never done this before, he definitely had the right idea.
“More of that,” Caleb encouraged. “Or whatever you want. Just. More, please.”
Ethan kissed the inside of his thigh, then licked his way back up, leaving a searing trail on Caleb’s skin where his mouth had been. No one ever paid attention to him like this. Ethan’s inexperience didn’t matter at all.
Caleb closed his eyes as Ethan moved back to his cock, pressing the flat of his tongue to the heat this time and then sucking it into the heat of his mouth. A low moan rumbled through Caleb’s chest, his knees threatening to buckle again and his fingers tightening in Ethan’s hair.
Ethan’s mouth was hot and wet and perfect, his lips sealing around the head of Caleb’s cock.
“Oh god,” Caleb whispered, not sure how much of this he could take. It wasn’t sophisticated or experienced like a lot of the guys he’d been with, but it was so earnest, so obviously intended to make him feel good, that it was making an early grab for the title of best blowjob ever.
That was all down to Ethan honestly wanting to do this, for reasons Caleb was no longer comfortable trying to fathom. It was all too much for his heart to take, especially while most of his blood was in his cock.
Ethan slid his lips down a little further, and maybe there was a little too much teeth, and maybe it wasn’t the most elegant move, but it was good, and Caleb wasn’t about to complain. Not when Ethan’s mouth was so hot, so soft and willing.
“Use your hand,” Caleb instructed. It was hard to focus on teaching while Ethan’s lips were wrapped around his cock, but he wanted to at least pretend to be useful.
A moment later, Ethan’s fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, his knuckles tickling Caleb’s balls on the way past. Caleb was tempted to try to tell him that it didn’t have to be all about his dick, that other areas were sensitive too, but that seemed like the advanced class right now, and really, Caleb just wanted Ethan to keep doing exactly what he was doing.
Ethan had apparently decided the key to a good blowjob was sucking like his life depended on it and jerking Caleb off like it was a race, and Caleb didn’t have the strength to argue with him. It wasn’t a bad technique by any means, the pressure of Ethan’s lips dragging him quickly toward the edge.
“That’s it,” Caleb encouraged. “So good,” he added, scratching the back of Ethan’s scalp lightly. His balls were tight and his cock was leaking precome into Ethan’s mouth, though Ethan didn’t seem to mind.
Caleb moaned lowly as Ethan removed his hand and took his cock as far as he could, the head bumping against the back of Ethan’s throat. It took all of Caleb’s willpower not to thrust into his mouth, but he couldn’t stop himself from pulling on Ethan’s hair, a litany of gasps and moans breaking free from his chest, making his throat sore as he cried out again and again.
All too soon he was coming, with no time to warn Ethan that it was about to happen. A sudden spike of pleasure left his knees weak, and Caleb had to grab Ethan’s shoulder for support as the dam burst and he came down Ethan’s throat, groaning as his orgasm washed over him.
The sound of Ethan coughing was the thing that brought him back down, though his whole body was still tingling.
“I’m sorry,” Caleb croaked, his throat sore.
“Don’t be.” Ethan coughed again. “That was… that was…”
“Come up here, let me help you out.”
Ethan blushed darkly, shaking his head. “I’m good.”
Caleb raised an eyebrow. “You’re good?” He glanced at Ethan’s crotch. “As in you…”
“Came,” Ethan admitted. “That was hot.”
A jolt of arousal hit Caleb in the stomach, but he was too spent for it to go any further than that. He dropped to his knees in front of Ethan and kissed him, shoving his tongue into Ethan’s mouth to taste himself there.
“You’re gonna make someone so happy,” Caleb said as he broke away. Ethan already made him happy, but he knew better than to say so.
“So that was okay?” Ethan asked, his eyes hopeful. Caleb reached out to stroke his cheek, wanting desperately to tell him that he was perfect and beautiful and anyone would be lucky to have him. That was too much, though. Way outside the scope of their arrangement.
“You’re a natural,” Caleb said. He didn’t add and you look amazing sucking cock, but it was true. Ethan had the soft lips and the big puppy eyes for really great blowjobs. With a little practice, he’d be a master. “You’ve definitely passed Gay 101.”
Ethan laughed. “What’s in the next class?”
“Rimming and better eyebrows,” Caleb responded. “Neither of which I’m going to make you go through with.”
“My eyebrows are fine,” Ethan said. “And, uh. I know how to do the other thing.”
Caleb could feel his whole face lighting up as he smiled, delighted by that particular piece of information. “That’s adorable. And in that case, I have nothing more to teach.”
“I did learn that I like having my hair pulled. And I think I could use a little more practice. If, uh. If you’re not sick of me yet.”
Caleb’s heart sank at the thought of that alone. He couldn’t imagine ever being sick of Ethan. “Not even a little,” he said softly.
“Okay.” Ethan nodded.
Caleb stood, offering Ethan his hand to help him up. “And just to prove it, you’re helping me shower. Come on.”
Ethan looked as though he’d just woken up on Christmas morning as he took Caleb’s hand. “I’d love that.”
Tugging him toward the shower, Caleb clamped down on the urge to reply that he loved Ethan. Two more days. He could handle not giving himself away for two more days, and then things would go back to normal.
Or at least, Caleb really hoped he’d be able to let them go back to normal. He already knew he was going to miss having this with Ethan for a long, long time.
Chapter Seventeen
When Caleb told him to bring a jacket to the mystery tour that started at three in the morning, Ethan hadn’t been sure what to expect. Caleb had pretended not to know either, but Ethan could tell he was keeping whatever it was a secret.
It wasn’t until he looked away from his phone and out of the tour bus window that he realized where they were headed. The view was already amazing in the dark, and he couldn’t wait to see it as the sun came up.
Ethan wanted to point out the way t
he moon was shining over the water to Caleb, but Caleb was dozing against his arm, and he couldn’t bring himself to wake him. He had a lot of stress to contend with, and as the actual wedding approached, it was bound to be getting worse.
If there had been anything Ethan could have done to take it all away for him, he would have. Right now, though, he wasn’t even sure what their relationship was anymore.
Caleb had been happy to give him a glimpse into the world of being gay—well, bi in Ethan’s case, since he was definitely still into girls—but what did that mean when they went home? Caleb wouldn’t want to date him around their regular friends and colleagues. To date, his taste had always run toward type-A assholes with professionally whitened teeth and high-paying jobs who went to Ivy League schools. All of them model-beautiful.
Ethan was just some guy who worked a pay grade below him in the same boring office. Caleb loved his job, but that didn’t mean he’d love to date someone who did the dumbed-down version of his job and had barely scraped through a community college. It didn’t matter when they were friends, but it would matter if they were dating. He’d seen what Caleb expected to end up with in Payton and his friends, even if he did complain about how well-off they were.
So even if Caleb would be happy to date him for a while, the shine would wear off soon enough, and they definitely weren’t going to be together forever. And that meant a breakup, and a breakup would mean losing Caleb as a friend. Everyone always said they’d stay friends, but it rarely happened.
What they meant was that they’d stay strangers with history, who weren’t actively hostile toward each other. The thought of smiling and nodding to Caleb in the elevator and having no further contact with him past that made Ethan’s stomach hurt. Maybe it was better if he let the whole thing drop now, so that they could stick to their original agreement that this was only until they went home.
That way, he’d get to keep the parts of Caleb that were most important to him. It was better than losing him completely.
“You look deep in thought,” Caleb said, bringing Ethan back to reality with a thud. “And worried.”
“Tired,” Ethan corrected, though it was a lie. He was wide awake, with a knot in his stomach. “I’m okay,” he added.
Caleb sighed softly and rested his head against Ethan’s shoulder again. “You figured out where we’re going, yet?”
“Yeah,” Ethan smiled despite his mood. At least he could have some spectacular scenery to be sad and confused around.
“I knew the whole time,” Caleb confessed. “Even when you asked what a mystery tour was. I wanted it to be a surprise.”
“It’s a good surprise,” Ethan agreed, taking in the weight of Caleb’s head against him, the way they were speaking so softly that no one else would hear them, the little cocoon they’d formed away from everyone else on the bus. It was so heartbreakingly perfect that Ethan wasn’t sure how to handle it.
The thing he couldn’t ignore any longer was that he wanted to date Caleb when they got back. He wanted this closeness to last forever. It didn’t matter that it could never happen, it mattered that he knew, now, what he’d been wondering about for a long time. Longer than the last few days, even. He’d just never put a name to the feeling before.
He was starting to think that maybe it wasn’t even men in general he was attracted to. Maybe it was just Caleb. He’d had tiny, fledgling crushes on other guys before, but they were so small that he’d been able to brush them off and tell himself that he just thought they were cool, that he wanted to be more like them.
Caleb was different. Ethan wanted to kiss him, and hold him, and maybe one day come home to him after work. Or head home from work with him, in their case. It hurt his heart to think about it, but it hurt a whole lot more to think about not having this when they got back.
“I know you would have preferred to hike up the whole damned mountain in the dark.” Caleb laughed. “I never picked you for outdoorsy. We’re going camping sometime and you’re showing me everything.”
Ethan swallowed. Caleb was planning another vacation for them already.
The tiniest spark of hope that Caleb felt the same way he did about all this was enough to give Ethan the courage to turn his head and kiss Caleb’s temple. He couldn’t say anything yet. He wasn’t ready to face the possibility of rejection, the knowledge that he’d been fun to play with, but he wasn’t boyfriend material. That didn’t mean he had to give all of this up just yet, though.
Caleb hummed softly, obviously not bothered by the kiss. If anything, that made it worse.
Ethan followed Caleb off the bus when it stopped, sticking close to him. He told himself it was for warmth—despite the weather during the day at beach-level, it turned out that pre-dawn on a mountain in Hawaii was freezing cold—but there was a lot more to it than that.
“This is the Haleakala volcano,” Caleb said. “Don’t worry, it’s dormant.”
“Good. As cool as dying in a volcanic eruption would be, there’s still stuff I’d like to do with my life,” Ethan replied, looking out toward where the first few rays of sunlight were peeking over the horizon, lighting up the sky in pink and gold.
Caleb laughed softly and handed him something. “If you bend this so it crunches, you can put it in your pocket and it’ll keep your hand warm.”
“I gotta pick which hand I want to keep warm?” Ethan raised an eyebrow.
Without saying a word, Caleb took Ethan’s free hand and linked their fingers together tightly. “I need this one. Just for a few minutes.”
Ethan slipped the hand warmer into his pocket without activating it. Caleb really had come prepared for this trip. The thing was, Caleb was always prepared for everything. He liked to pretend otherwise, but it was important to him to be able to look after people. That was why he picked the kinds of guys he did. Stressed out, needy men who used him and discarded him when they were done.
What Ethan really wanted was to see Caleb letting himself be taken care of, just once in his life. In the perfect little fantasy land that he’d dreamed up, he wanted the person taking care of Caleb to be him.
“Scared?” Ethan asked.
Caleb sighed. “Olivia is about to tell Payton they’re not getting married. I can’t imagine worse timing and I don’t think he’s going to take it well.”
Almost on cue, Ethan heard a distant what coming from where he’d seen Payton and Olivia head when they’d gotten off the bus. His own stomach sank, so he could only imagine what this was doing to Caleb. Ethan squeezed Caleb’s hand tightly, willing the whole situation to go smoothly.
A moment later, Ethan heard footsteps approaching. Of course it wasn’t going to be that easy.
“You,” Payton growled, grabbing Caleb by the shoulder. Ethan tensed, moving to stand closer to him, but didn’t react just yet. Caleb glanced at Payton’s hand, and then shrugged it off.
He was tough for a little guy. Although, Payton wasn’t much bigger than him.
“You did this,” Payton said. “You poisoned her against me.” He pointed at Olivia, who looked terrified. Ethan wanted to comfort her, too, but he didn’t want to leave Caleb’s side while he was in the middle of an argument.
“What do you want to hear from me?” Caleb asked. That was clearly not the response Payton had been expecting.
“What?” He frowned, squaring his shoulders. Maybe Caleb didn’t recognize that body language, but Ethan did. He shifted his weight so that if Payton made a move, he could get in first.
“Do you want to hear that I don’t like you? I don’t. I’ve never pretended otherwise. Do you want to hear that I think Olivia should marry you? Even if I did, it’s not my decision. It’s hers. And if you want to prove that I was wrong not to like you, you’ll accept it and walk away.”
Payton drew back to swing, but Ethan moved in front of Caleb before he had a chance. Not that he didn’t think Caleb was capable of defending himself, just that people didn’t tend to punch other people they weren’t mad at, and
not having a fist fight would be better for everyone involved.
Unfortunately, Payton wasn’t like other people, and didn’t stop. Ethan took the blow to the shoulder, right around where Caleb’s cheek had been a half-second earlier. It hurt, but not so much that he couldn’t shake it off for the time being.
“I’ll give you that one for free if you walk away,” Ethan said.
Payton went to swing again, but one of his friends grabbed him before he had the chance and dragged him off. Ethan watched them go, making sure Payton wasn’t about to turn around and try again. Before he could even turn to see if Caleb was okay, someone wrapped their arms around him.
Ethan realized a second later that it was Olivia, and put his arms around her, holding her close to his chest. She was obviously upset, and she had every right to be.
“It’s okay,” Ethan soothed. “It’s over.”
Caleb moved to stand beside them. Ethan wanted to hug him, too, but he wasn’t sure Caleb would appreciate it right now.
“Well, I guess it’s better that we know now that he won’t hesitate to throw a punch.” Caleb sighed, kicking at a rock by his feet. “You did the right thing.” He looked up at his sister.
“I know.” She sniffed, taking one hand away from Ethan to wipe her nose. Ethan could feel her trembling. He hated to see anyone like this, especially someone who was, in his mind, practically family. He didn’t know Olivia all that well, but Caleb cared about her, and that was enough for him.
“Do you need to sit?” Caleb asked, putting his hand on her arm. Olivia nodded, following Caleb as he tugged her away and settled her on a bench. Ethan hung back, figuring that this was family time.
He turned back to the sunrise and took a few deep breaths. It was good that they’d discovered Payton’s true personality before Olivia ended up married to him, but it was unfortunate that she’d left it so late.
On the other hand, if she hadn’t, Ethan might not have gotten the chance to be with Caleb while they were here. He wasn’t sure yet whether that was a good or bad thing. If none of this had ever happened, his heart wouldn’t already be breaking over the knowledge that it was all going to end soon.
The Wedding Date Page 10