Our Little Secret

by Ashelyn Drake

  “I’m sorry.” I lift my head and stare up at him through swollen eyes. “It’s your birthday too, and I’m totally ruining it.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “You don’t have to be so sweet all the time. You can tell me when I’m acting like a five-year-old.”

  “Caring about the people you love isn’t acting like a five-year-old.”

  “Maybe not, but dating you behind Tori’s back isn’t exactly as harmless as stealing her favorite toy either.”

  “Touché.”

  “I’m not sure you can say that since I think I just proved your point instead of mine.” I laugh because I don’t have any tears left to cry.

  “Look, people are going to be here any minute. Go upstairs. Get yourself together, and we’ll figure out the rest later.”

  “When are we going to tell her?”

  “We’ll let her enjoy the party for a while first, but it is my birthday too, and I want to be able to dance with my girlfriend.”

  I smile, and my heart skips at the word girlfriend. I lean forward and kiss him. “Happy birthday.”

  “Now it is.”

  I kiss him again for being so sweet, but we’re interrupted by the doorbell.

  “Go get ready. I’ll get the door.”

  I squeeze his leg before getting up and heading upstairs. I don’t even want to know who’s coming to this party. Tori’s crowd has changed since she started dating Ryder. She hangs out with some of Toby’s friends now. Although not all of Toby’s friends are talking to him after the incident with Meredith. A lot of people are still taking Meredith’s side in the breakup. If only they knew what really happened.

  I wash up in the bathroom, getting rid of any evidence of tears. Then I head to Tori’s room to fix my hair and makeup. In about ten minutes, I’m presentable. I walk downstairs, peeking around the corner to see who’s here. I’m shocked to see almost the entire junior class spread out between the living room, kitchen, dining room, and den. No way did Toby really invite all these people. Word must have gotten out, and party crashers came out of the woodworks.

  “There you are,” Toby says, coming out of the kitchen with his cell in hand. “Ryder just texted me. They’re on their way.”

  “How’s he getting her here?” We knew better than to tell Tori her party’s at her house. She would’ve flipped. I’m just hoping once we get her here and she’s having fun, she’ll forget about the fact that we didn’t spring for an actual event room at a hotel or restaurant.

  “He told her he left his lucky hat here and that he couldn’t go to the party without it. Naturally, she’s pissed.”

  Great. I don’t need her angry before Toby and I talk to her.

  “Hey.” He reaches for me, but stops. There are people everywhere, and we can’t let anyone suspect anything before we talk to Tori. “Relax. We’re going to get through this.”

  “If you say so.”

  “I do.”

  “Practicing for your wedding day, man?” Jeff claps Toby on the back.

  “Very funny.” Toby rolls his eyes, but I can’t help thinking about Kim Kwan’s story. It took almost until her wedding day to get her friend back. I feel sick.

  “Shouldn’t we get everyone to hide or something?” Jeff asks.

  “Yeah. Good thinking.” Toby looks around. “Take them all into the dining room and den. Tori won’t see them from there.”

  “Wait. What about all the cars outside?”

  Toby smiles. “We had everyone park behind the school and walk. Even the people who crashed caught on to the plan. We’re all good.”

  We’re so far from good. Maybe the cars were out of sight, but they aren’t what’s going to ruin Tori’s birthday. Toby and I are.

  He ushers me with the rest of the group. We take a spot in the dining room, right by the door so we’ll be the first ones Tori sees. Toby whispers in my ear, “In case I forgot to tell you, you look amazing.”

  “Oh no.”

  “What? Do you not like being complimented on how you look?”

  “No. I mean, I do. It’s just that I forgot your present and Tori’s in my car.”

  “Don’t sweat it. You can get it later.”

  The front door jiggles, and Toby presses a finger to my lips. I turn toward the door, wanting to see the happy expression on my best friend’s face before I tell her how I betrayed her. She opens the door and flicks on the light.

  “Just find it quickly because I can’t be late to my own—”

  “Surprise!” Jeff leads the group out of the den and into the living room. The rest of us follow. So much for Tori seeing Toby and me first.

  She stumbles backward for a second, scanning the crowd. I’m waiting for the yelling to begin. The questions about why the party is here of all places. But instead, she smiles. “Becca Daniels, where the hell are you?” She continues to search the crowd for me.

  Toby pushes me forward. “Go on.”

  I work my way through the crowd as the music starts up. Tori sees me and squeals. “How did you get so many people here? And where are all the presents?”

  I don’t have the heart to tell her most of the people crashed and didn’t even have the decency to bring gifts. “Um, Toby took care of the guest list, and I’m pretty sure the gifts are upstairs.”

  “Well, what did you get me?”

  “I left my gift in the car.”

  “Why?”

  “Um, I didn’t want it to get buried under all the others.” At least that sounds believable. “Why don’t you and Ryder get something to drink and then go dance? I’ll be right back.” I rush outside, and the second the cool air hits my face, I drink it in, gasping for something to fill this ache in my chest.

  I fumble with my car keys and open the trunk. Both wrapped packages stare up at me. Tori and Toby’s. They’re the two most important people in my life, outside of my parents, and I don’t think I can have them both. At least not the way I want them. I’d give anything to have Tori as my sister one day. I don’t have a sister, but being her best friend, I always felt like I sort of did. And Toby, well, he’s the kind of guy you hope you end up with. I’m not looking for that kind of commitment yet, but one day, sure. It doesn’t seem fair that things can’t turn out that way for me. That I’m most likely going to lose one or both of them along the way.

  “You okay?” Toby comes outside, shutting the door behind him.

  “Yeah. Just getting the presents.” I can’t give him his yet, and I can’t let him open it in front of other people either. No one would understand it.

  “Want me to take them upstairs for you?”

  “Sure. Well, yours anyway. I think Tori wants to wear her present.”

  “How do you know she knows what you got her?”

  I smile at him. Tori always knows. It’s like a shopping sixth sense. She can smell shoes and clothing from a mile away. I hand him his gift. “No peeking. Promise?”

  “I promise.” He smiles and walks back inside. I give him a head start, just like I’ve gotten used to doing at the end of every fifth period. Hopefully, that will end soon.

  I go inside and search for Tori. She’s in the den, sitting on Ryder’s lap and holding a drink in her hand. She laughs along with a bunch of people I’m not even sure I know. I can’t help thinking that in some bizarre alternate universe, she and Meredith would’ve made good friends. They both love attention, parties, hot guys, and loud music.

  I stand in the doorway watching her. Taking in her smile and how happy she is. At least I was able to give her a party before…

  “Hey, Becca, come over here,” Tori says, waving two fingers around the cup in her hand. Her eyes fall on the box in my hands, and she jumps up. “Hold this, please.” She hands Ryder her cup and runs over to me. “Gimme, gimme!” She can be such a little kid sometimes. It would be annoying on anyone else, but on her, it’s endearing.

  “Aren’t you at least going to pretend you don’t know what it is?”

  “Hmm,
let me think about it.” She pauses for a whole two seconds. “Nope. I can’t. Give me my boots!” She kicks off her shoes and tears open the box. Even though she knows what to expect, she squeals when she pulls out the boots. She slips them on her feet and does a little spin. “How do they look?”

  “Amazing. Happy birthday.” I hold my arms out to hug her, and she squeezes me tight.

  “You’re the best friend I could ever ask for, Becca. I mean, this party, the boots, putting up with Toby to plan everything. I love you. You know that, right?”

  I inhale a shaky breath and squeeze her tighter. “I love you too.” I don’t want to let go. I want us to stay best friends forever. I want her to understand I never meant to hurt her. But everything about this hug feels like a good-bye.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  My eyes start to water, so I blink back the tears and pull away quickly. “Um, I need to go check on the cake and some other things. Catch up with you in a bit?”

  She nods and prances around the den, showing off her new boots.

  I rush out of the room and head to the kitchen. Like every other room downstairs, it’s packed. There are cups everywhere, and a bottle of soda is tipped over, spilling all across the counter and down the cabinet. I run for it and stand it up, grabbing a dishtowel to mop up the mess. I want to scream at the handfuls of idiots who are too self-absorbed to notice—that or they’re taking the “not my house, not my problem” attitude.

  “Looks like you’re always on clean-up duty, huh, Becca?”

  I turn around, wondering why on earth Meredith would show her face at this party. After the way she slammed Toby in front of half the school, I thought she’d avoid him at all costs. But looking around, this is apparently the party to be at, and Meredith, being obsessed with social standing, couldn’t miss.

  “I don’t remember inviting you.”

  “You didn’t. Toby did. Had you sent out the invites, no one would’ve shown up.” She smirks and reaches for a beer on the center island. No doubt Jeff provided those.

  “Tori doesn’t like you. If she sees you at her party, she’s going to freak. And in case you haven’t noticed, she’s got some influence at school now. I don’t think you want that kind of negative attention brought on yourself.”

  “So what, is this like a friendly warning? You’re looking out for my best interest?” Her words are laced with sarcasm.

  “Not at all. I’m looking out for my best friend.”

  “Best friend?” She scoffs again. I’ve never seen anyone scoff as much as she does. “I doubt she’ll be your best friend for long. Not after she finds out about—”

  I lunge for her, shoving the wet dishtowel in her mouth. She struggles to get away, but I drag her out of the kitchen and up the stairs. She trips on the bottom step and falls forward. I let go because about twenty people are staring at us. Staring at me like I’m assaulting their queen, which I sort of am.

  She spits the dishtowel out on the stairs. “Ugh! You disgusting little bitch!” She turns to face the crowd. “You all saw that, right? She attacked me!” Two guys reach for Meredith’s arms and pull her to her feet.

  I push past them and run through the kitchen, wanting to keep going straight out the door, but I see a girl opening up the bag the cupcake is in. Toby’s cupcake. “Give me that!” I grab it from her and run right into Jeff. The cupcake is crushed between us. “No.” My voice is small, just like I feel. This party is turning out to be a disaster.

  Jeff steps back and motions to the bag. “Sorry. What’s in there anyway?”

  “Forget it.” I turn and head back through the kitchen. I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going.

  “Hey,” Toby says, rounding the stairs. “I heard you attacked Meredith. What the hell happened?”

  “I…” I can’t explain it here with all these eyes on us. I rush past Toby and upstairs, fully intending to lock myself in the bathroom until everyone leaves. But before I know what I’m doing, I’m in Toby’s room. I sit down on his bed and open the bag. The cupcake is a mess of icing and crumbled bits of cake. Ruined. Just like everything else is going to be.

  “Mind if I come in?”

  I look up at Toby, standing in the doorway. “It’s your room.”

  He steps in and shuts the door behind him. “I know, but if you want to be alone, I’ll go.”

  I don’t want to be alone, but I’m afraid I’m going to end up that way anyway. I hand him the bag. “This was supposed to be for you. Well, and me. Mr. Kwan made it for us.”

  He looks inside the bag, his forehead lined with confusion. “Mr. Kwan made us a cupcake?”

  I shrug. “He saw us in your doorway. The same day Meredith did.”

  Toby puts the bag down on the bed and sits next to me. “Crap. It was so stupid of me to kiss you while I was opening the front door. I’m so sorry, Becca.”

  “It’s okay. Mr. Kwan is rooting for us. That’s what this is about.” I point to the smashed cupcake.

  Toby laughs. “I hope we end up better than the cupcake.”

  I know he’s trying to lighten the mood, but his comment does exactly the opposite. “Meredith is here.”

  “I know. Remember? I heard all about the incident.” He makes air quotes around incident and smiles at the same time.

  “I shoved a wet dishtowel in her mouth and tried to drag her upstairs.”

  He stifles a laugh. “Can I ask why?”

  “She was talking about how Tori is going to hate me when she finds out about us. I didn’t want her to out us in front of everyone in the kitchen, and all I had in my hands to stop her was the dishtowel I’d just used to clean up the spilled soda.”

  He wraps his arms around me. “They’re all going to find out soon enough, and to be honest, I don’t think she would’ve come out and said we were dating. It would make her look bad.”

  He’s right. She was probably just going to leave her comment hanging, but I attacked her anyway. “What’s happening to me? This isn’t me.”

  He leans back and looks into my eyes. “You’re scared. You don’t want to lose Tori, and it’s making you a little crazy.”

  “You think I’m crazy?”

  “No. I think you’re acting like anyone would in your situation.”

  “You’re not. You seem fine.”

  “I’m her brother. And she already doesn’t like me.”

  “She likes you.”

  He shakes his head. “It’s okay. I know I’m not her favorite person.”

  “Yeah, well, I might be joining you very soon.”

  He pulls me back in for another hug, and I rest my head on his shoulder. “You want to hide in here for a while? I doubt anyone would notice if we were missing.”

  It’s sad that my own best friend probably doesn’t notice I’m gone, but Tori is busy having the time of her life. Everything is going well for her. She has the guy of her dreams, the party of the school year, and the perfect boots to accessorize with, thanks to me. “Yeah, just for a little while.”

  “Good, because it’s my birthday too, and I want to spend some time with my girlfriend.”

  I love the sound of that word on his lips. I tilt my head up and kiss him. “Have I said happy birthday yet?”

  “A few times.”

  “Oh, well, how about some birthday cake then?” I reach for the bag. “It’s a little unrecognizable, but I’m sure it still tastes good.”

  “Let me go get some forks.” He looks inside the bag. “On second thought, I’ll get some spoons, and maybe a straw or two.”

  I laugh because he’s probably right. Still, Mr. Kwan was nice enough to make us this cupcake for two, and I’ll be damned if we’re not eating it. Toby leaves, and I walk over to his guitar. I can’t play or sing if my life depended on it, but I take the guitar in my hands and remember the look on Toby’s face when he sang me my song. I still can’t believe he wrote a song for me. Toby Michaels might not have a lot of experience being in a relationship, but he is romanti
c as all hell. Not that I’d say that in public. Jeff and Ryder would never let him live it down.

  The door opens, and Toby walks in carrying two spoons. “Got them.” He eyes me in his desk chair, holding his guitar on my lap.

  “Sorry.” I gently place the guitar back on its stand. “I was careful with it.”

  “No. It’s fine. I don’t mind at all. I just didn’t know you played.”

  “I don’t.” I stand up, feeling my cheeks turning red. “I was remembering the other night when you played that song for me.”

  “Your song.”

  My song. I’m glad he thinks of it like that too. “It was so beautiful.”

  “Of course, because it was about you.”

  If I wasn’t already in love with him, I would be after that comment. Hell, I think I’m falling in love with him all over again. I step toward him and wrap my arms around his waist.

  He holds up the spoons. “Still want that cake?”

  “In a minute.” I press my body against his. “Or two.”

  He tosses the spoons onto the bed and cups my face in his hands. “Make it three.” His lips find mine. He tastes like cherry soda. I’m kind of surprised to find out he wasn’t drinking beer like most of the others at the party. I was never big on beer. At least not the cheap stuff people buy for parties like this one. It tastes like something a skunk would leave behind. He pulls back for a second. “You weren’t licking the icing from the cupcake bag, were you? You taste very sweet.”

  “No, that must be from the soda-soaked dishtowel I was sucking on earlier. Oh wait, that was Meredith.”

  He laughs. “Wow, Becca, you have some bite in you.”

  “What can I say? She threatened my best friend. I don’t like anyone messing with the people I love.” I lower my head. “I’ve been doing a bang up job of that myself lately.”