Appetites

by Ily Goyanes

  “Kira?”

  Silence hung in the apartment. Door open. No sign of Kira, plenty of signs of what she’d been up to. Taped-up cardboard boxes, emptied cupboards and an open suitcase on the bed. Clothes strewn on top, not yet folded. My heart sank.

  “Jonathan, is that you?” Kira’s voice called from the bathroom. “The kitchen stuff’s all packed up and ready if you...”

  The door unlocked and she appeared, shocked at the sight of me. I stared at her, my eyes wide and sadness heavy in my throat.

  “It’s not what it looks like, Tamsin.”

  “Is it not? You weren’t going to move to a different country without telling me?”

  Kira’s face fell. “Well, I am leaving for Belgium,” she said softly. “I was going to tell you though! Honestly!”

  “Right, like you’ve ever done anything honestly, Kira. Have a nice life,” I said, turning on my heels and walking to the door. I didn’t expect her to follow me.

  “Tam! Can we just talk?” she called out, grabbing my hand. “Can we just sit down and talk?”

  “I thought you didn’t do talking? Let go of me,” I said, trying to wrest my hand out of her grip.

  “Please, just hear me out! I need to say this to you, and you’re here now and I’m leaving tomorrow.”

  “You’re leaving tomorrow?”

  “Don’t make this harder for me, Tam. Look, just let me say what I have to say and you can go, alright?”

  She finally let me go. I leaned against the wall and nodded. “Okay, talk.”

  Kira’s hands trembled. “I know what you think about me. I know what all your friends think about me. They have every right to think that. I am a bad person. If my mistakes were made of water, I could fill an Olympic-sized pool.”

  Kira’s hand stretched out, hoping to meet mine in a gentler hold. “But you...you don’t know what I think about you. You think you know. That you’re just an expendable fuck, just someone else I can screw over, but you’re not. You mean so much more to me than that.”

  I didn’t meet her hand but I did meet her eyes. After a few seconds of silence, I spoke. “I’m not an idiot, Kira. I’m nothing to you. I was nothing to you from that day you kissed another woman right in front of my face.”

  “Don’t say that! You are everything to me, Tamsin. You’re, you’re my girl. I care about you so much.”

  And then tears fell from her eyes, slowly streaking out the black liner around her eyes. “I’ve been horrid to you. I just want to make it up to you, just one more time, please. I just want to be with you one more time.”

  She reached out to me, waiting for a hand and a hug. My pride and my body were locked in a hellish fight. I knew which one would end up losing. I tried to bite back the tears, but couldn’t. My body won, for the last time. I grabbed her by the collar, pulling her close and locking lips. She tasted like whiskey and trance music. She felt like countless nights spent in beds, against walls in alleyways, in club bathroom stalls. Memories that surrounded us as we stumbled to the bedroom in an almost drunken state of want.

  Moments melted into a smudge. Falling on top of the bed, practically ripping each other’s clothes off and tossing them onto the rest of the jumble. Her naked body entwined with mine for the very last time.

  “Fuck me,” she half-whispered, her eyes dark with sad desire. “Please, Tamsin.”

  I didn’t miss a beat. Flipping her onto her front. Getting her on her hands and knees. I knew what she wanted. More than just for me to fuck her; she wanted redemption. Just another dance we did, after fights or time apart. The redemption fuck. Me in control.

  Otherwise, she wouldn’t have called me by my name.

  She shifted, opening her legs and revealing her soaking wet pussy and glistening tight pucker to me. I ran one finger up and down the cleft, teasingly brushing over her throbbing clitoris. It made her shiver in exactly the way I wanted her to.

  Slowly, I started frigging her clit, building up a tempo as she rubbed herself against me.

  “Always a greedy girl, aren’t you?”

  “Mmm hmmm…”

  I grabbed a handful of her hair and wrapped it around my fist, pulling hard. “Say ‘Yes, Tamsin.'”

  She grunted. “Yes, Tamsin. I’m such a greedy girl for you.”

  The sound of her giving in made me ache for release. My free hand went from her hair to my own pussy, and I grinded, coating myself in my own slick juices. The need to properly fuck her was unbearable. My fingers moved from her clit to her hole, and I slipped first one finger, then two, then three inside her.

  She gasped loudly, arching her back. “Oh god, keep going.”

  She was tight, wet, and needing. She thrust herself up against my arm, mad with desire.

  The edges of the world blurred. My fourth finger, and then my thumb, slipped inside her. Kira panted, the feeling of my fist moving inside her bringing her on the brink of a climax. I half-wondered if I should just leave her there, starved of her precious redemption. But then my own orgasm bubbled up inside me, and I frigged myself frantically to get there.

  It was messy. Both of my hands covered in our come, sweat dripping over our bodies and breaths hard and fast. Then again, this thing we had was always messy.

  How I made it out of there without breaking down was a mystery to me. I felt lightheaded as I dressed.

  “Stay with me?” she said softly. “Until the movers come?”

  I shook my head. “I can’t. I don’t trust myself enough to be sensible.”

  Goodbye was such an awful word. It rang in my head as I went down in the elevator. I ran to her, always. Now, stepping outside, I ran away from her. I wanted to lie down and cry.

  Luckily, Frankie called before I did anything stupid.

  “You okay, Tam? Do you want to come over and, you know, hang out? I could make a curry and we can watch trash TV. And I’ve got tissues.”

  In that moment, I felt so thankful I wasn’t alone.

  ***

  “A toast! To Tamsin Worral and my baby, Frankie DeNuys, for reeling in that big campaign fish like two motherfucking pros!”

  Frankie and I joined Liz, Frankie’s girlfriend, in a toast. She’d arrived back from Canada and Frankie couldn’t keep her hands off of her. It was heartening to watch.

  It was the day after we nailed our big presentation and Liz suggested we go out for drinks at The Lipstick. It was probably the loudest lesbian bar in town but I didn’t mind. Dancing and alcohol were good distractions.

  “Jesus, this is strong!” I cried out, after taking a sip.

  Frankie laughed over the music. “Strongest drink on the menu, apparently! I figured you might need it!”

  She grabbed Liz’s hand and yelled out something about going for a spin on the floor. Which she seemed to take literally, as she spun Liz around the floor before grabbing her close.

  The next song was a ballad. I sighed as I watched them slow dancing on the neon-lit floor. I wanted to feel like that. Cherished, held, loved.

  “Get a room already!”

  I turned to the barmaid, who followed her outcry with a giggle. She was cute, with her tomboi haircut and pierced ears. She wore black rimmed glasses and a t-shirt bearing the silhouette of the TARDIS.

  “Reminds me of home!” I said. “Your t-shirt. Doctor Who.”

  Her face lit up. “Oh, are you British? I lived in London for a while. I practically breathed “Doctor Who”. It’s a lifestyle.”

  “Yes, thank you! I’ve been trying to convert those two for ages!” I said, pointing to Frankie and Liz.

  “They don’t know what they’re missing,” said the barmaid before extending her hand. “I’m Abi.”

  “Tamsin. Lovely to meet a friendly face.”

  Abi looked at her watch and leaned over the bar to me. “Excuse me if I’m being too forward, but I’m off at eleven and I’ve got the Key to Time box set waiting for me at home. Do you by any chance…because you look a bit like you could do with cheering up?”

/>   I blinked, struck dumb by surprise. “Oh well. I’m not looking for anything, er, you know. Just had a rather toxic break-up and all that.”

  “Oh gosh, totally. Christ knows I’ve been there recently. Just know you’re not alone and I’m here to listen if you want me to. For what it’s worth though, she’s probably not worth the grief. The toxic ones never are.”

  Abi looked at me, a big smile on her face. It was the first time in a long time someone had been so genuine with me. And it felt good. It felt healthy.

  Tiger by the Tail

  Beth Wylde

  The last two months with Roxy have been the best of my life. I never thought I’d find a woman like her. She compliments me in every way, though right now it looks like the honeymoon period is over.

  Roxy’s sitting as far away from me on the couch as she can possibly get without falling over the edge. If looks could kill, I’d be bleeding to death from a thousand different wounds.

  Her arms are crossed angrily across her chest, which just accentuates her delectable cleavage, and there’s a hateful scowl on her face that makes me wonder if she’s equally aggressive in bed. It should be illegal to be so damn attractive. Even pissed off she looks hot as hell, and that’s my big problem.

  Roxy is kind, caring, considerate, and so fucking sexy she makes my fangs ache. She doesn’t even realize how gorgeous she is. That’s a turn on all by itself. Just one look or one word and suddenly I’m so wet I’m drowning. Lately I’ve existed in a perpetual state of arousal. If I were human it wouldn’t be a problem, but I’m not. She is though, and I know that when she finds out what I really am she’ll run away screaming.

  Normally I wouldn’t care, but Roxy and I have a connection that I don’t want to lose. If she was from my planet, I’d mate her in a heartbeat, but she isn’t—which leaves me in a real predicament.

  You see, I’m a Sexter. A sexually-induced shape shifter. The more aroused I am, the more my shape changes, until I’m nothing but a beast. A ravenous, sex-starved animal intent on nothing but giving pleasure to my partner. To make things worse it appears that I’m the last of my kind. I’ve searched the world over and haven’t found another of my species in more than a hundred years. That has made finding a life partner rather difficult. Up until I met Roxy that is. We just clicked, despite the fact she’s beautiful. Her drop dead good looks and my overwhelming desire to get her naked have made the thought of being intimate hell, but it’s the price I pay to be with her. Though judging by the look on her face right now, we might not be together much longer.

  I’m not sure my three hearts will survive the loss. My kind mates for life and my animal side has already decided Roxy belongs to us. No other woman will do. For once I’m in total agreement with my beast. It’s Roxy or nothing, but eternity is a long time to be alone. If she were ugly as sin I don’t think I’d be having all the trouble I am now. We could just fuck and be done with it.

  That thought alone conjures up multiple images of Roxy in various lewd sexual positions. On her knees. On all fours. Spread-eagle on her back with my head and my hands buried between her thighs. Just imagining the scenarios has me poised on the verge of release. My clit is pounding and my nipples are hard as moon stones. The air in the apartment is saturated with the scent of pheromones, my beast’s way of showing how important Roxy is in our life.

  If Roxy were a Sexter, she’d be all over me by now. The scent is an aphrodisiac that compatible partners can’t ignore. Like an irresistible mating call.

  The tingling at the base of my spine is a warning signal that things are getting out of control. My beast wants to claim Roxy almost as much as I do. Lord help us both. I’m not sure how long I can keep myself in check. What I want to do to her is something I know she won’t enjoy. My kind are known for their aggressive approach to sex, and from past experience I know Earth women like it gentle, slow and tender. I’d never be able to pull that off with Roxy.

  “What the hell is going on, Audrey? Say something for God’s sake. Is it me? Do I repulse you so much you can’t even stand to kiss me?”

  Damn it. Here we go. “It’s not you. It’s me.” I want to tell her so bad. Just get it out in the open, but I know exactly how she’ll react. Humans fear what they don’t understand. I’d rather have her leave in anger then flee in terror. I know my hearts couldn’t handle that type of rejection.

  She suddenly doesn’t look as mad anymore, just worried. She moves back towards me with a concerned look on her face. The pity burns more than her anger. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. This isn’t the first time you’ve pulled away when we’ve tried to be close. Did someone hurt you, baby? Please talk to me. I feel like we’re drifting apart and I can’t take it anymore. Just tell me what I’m doing wrong. I can change. I’ll do whatever it takes to be with you.”

  Oh no you won’t! I shake my head in frustration. There she goes, being all selfless. She wouldn’t make such an offer if she knew what I wanted. For the first time in my life I wish I were human. I’d grab Roxy and kiss her and do all the other things I crave. Just thinking about it makes me want to roar.

  It would be so much simpler if I only changed shape once a month. Werewolves don’t know how good they’ve got it. If my shifts were strictly controlled by the moon we could work things out. They aren’t though, and with the way Roxy looks, I’d never retain my shape through the foreplay, let alone the actual sex.

  “You’re not doing anything wrong. I told you, it’s me. All me. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I shouldn’t have come here. I’m just going to go home.”

  She’s within touching distance now and as I get up she grabs me by the arm. I clench my teeth to keep from spinning around to face her. One look is all it’s going to take.

  “Audrey, wait. Please don’t go. We can work this out. I know you want me. You can’t kiss me like you just did and tell me you aren’t turned on too. Just tell me what to do. I want you. I want you so bad I can’t stand it. You’re all I think about.” Her voice drops to a low rumble and I stifle an answering growl. “I’m not sure my wrist can survive another night without you and the batteries in my vibrator are getting dangerously low.” Her hand inches higher until she’s gripping my elbow. “I’ll bet my fantasies are a poor substitute for the real thing,” she adds for good measure.

  Oh Jesus. Stop, please stop. Roxy’s hand is so hot I can feel it through my shirt. I’m dying to feel it on my naked skin. All over. Just once. Confessing about masturbating over me is just cruel and unusual punishment.

  My resolve weakens further. I will myself to leave. Coming to Roxy’s apartment was just stupid. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I accepted her invitation. Hell, who am I kidding? I wasn’t thinking at all, at least not with either of my brains. My cunt was making all the decisions for me.

  Even now I’m so wet and swollen I’m not sure I can walk. Logical thought seems nearly impossible. I have to get out of here before I do something we’ll both regret. I know if I look her in the eyes it’ll be all over. I’m to the point of begging now.

  “Audrey? Look at me. Please.”

  My fight for control takes a nosedive. My baser nature is winning and inside my animal howls in triumph. The sultry lilt to Roxy’s voice as she pleads is the last straw. I tried. I really did, but the saying is right. You can’t fight Mother Nature. I don’t really want to anyway.

  I reach up with my free hand and slide out my contacts. My eyesight immediately sharpens. If we’re going to be together for real I’m going to let her see it all. No holding back. No more lies. No more pretending to be human. I hope I don’t end up on some scientist’s lab table. Maybe I’ll get a nice comfy prison cell to rot in instead, because when we’re done I know Roxy will be calling the police. No human can accept one of my kind in bed, not fully, but I’m sick of playing around. If she’s going to say no she can say no to the whole package.

  I spin around, Roxy’s hand slipping loose as I crouch down low in preparation to take her. She ga
sps and I know what she sees. My eyes are purple and glowing, no longer green, and the color has expanded to eclipse the white. My sight zeroes in on my prey, like tunnel vision, and all I see is Roxy. I throw my head back with a roar of pure exaltation and reach for her.

  To my surprise she doesn’t hesitate. She actually throws herself into my arms, kissing me until my fully extended fangs pierce her lower lip. The taste of her blood incites my need further. Her flavor is so sweet I feel lightheaded. I know the cream between her legs will be even better. I can’t wait.

  I pull back from the kiss, thankful I don’t really need to breath but once every hour or so. I could easily go on kissing her forever but I want other things more. I struggle to give her one last chance to refuse. It’s all I have left in me.

  “Tell me now. If you don’t want this let me know. I’ll do my best to stop, but once we’re both naked, all bets are off. I won’t be able to quit once I get you under me.”

  Roxy doesn’t look scared at all. She looks aroused. “Who says you’ll be on top?”

  Is she crazy? You don’t taunt a beast. Besides, I’m the dominant. No question about it. I’m always on top. “I do. Now answer me. Fast. What do you want me to do? Is it yes or no?” My hands dig into her floor, the nails suddenly sharper and longer. I’m so aroused my change is coming fast. She needs to hurry.

  Her answer isn’t at all what I expected. She throws herself at me. “Ok. You can be on top. Now shut up and fuck me.”

  Her reply is a request neither I nor my beast can refuse. We roll until she’s on the bottom, my animal side thrilled beyond measure as my guise falls completely. Roxy doesn’t scream. It actually sounds like she’s purring as I rip off our clothes and let my metamorphosis take over. My fangs and eyes are already on display. My hair begins to lengthen, growing longer and fuller until it resembles a mane. The tingling at the tip of my spine becomes a burning pressure and I know there’s a thick, reddish-gold tail whipping around in the air behind my back. My skin color deepens, the lightest dusting of golden fur cascading over my previously pale flesh. I lower my head and pant through the rest of my shift, careful not to cut her with my now fully extended claws. I keep my eyes closed as I tilt my head back up, dreading the revulsion I know will be evident on her face.