Hidden Trails

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Stefanie smiled as she watched the truck drive up, the curve of her lip interesting and smooth. “The Altman brothers. Good call. Good group of guys.” She glanced down, then up to study his face. “Thank you. I’m not sure why you keep doing the things you’re doing, but thank you. And I know no one has properly said that to you.”

  Drake couldn’t make himself look away.

  “I’m going to run in and take a shower first. I’ll meet you in my dad’s office in thirty minutes?” She grinned again, a small dimple just to the bottom left of her lip catching his eye. She’d become such a remarkable person.

  Her loyalty and steadfastness appealed to him in ways he couldn’t explain. A shrink would probably say it had something to do with the abandonment of his family, but quite honestly, Stefanie’s attractiveness was irrefutable.

  She could’ve lit out of there, out from underneath her brother and the responsibility of her younger sister at any time. Instead she stayed. Her stalwart and steadfast presence held more appeal for Drake than he could ever understand.

  If she didn’t quit mentioning showers, Drake was probably going to go crazy. He could use the thirty minutes she needed to get the men set up with instructions for the ramp on the deck anyway.

  One more thing he hadn’t asked Nate permission to do. One more thing he didn’t regret.

  No one had asked him what he wanted regarding Emma, or even regarding family stuff.

  Where he’d always lacked control, he was finally taking back what he needed.

  ~~~

  Drake grabbed his briefcase from the truck. He made his way to the office, a little hesitant at first while pushing open the door. The room’s strongly personal feeling permeated Drake with a sense of roots, something he’d sought for as long as he could remember.

  The office’s ambience had one of remembrance and sadness. No shelves or books lined the walls. No pictures or frames decorated any surfaces. The room had been emptied of most furniture. Just a lone desk with a chair manned the expanse of the room and a solitary wingback chair was tucked away in the corner. Not even a rug on the hardwood floor to welcome people in.

  As if the office’s soul had been carved out and sold.

  Uncomfortable with the idea of encroaching upon Stefanie’s dad’s office without her there, Drake waited by the door with his briefcase in hand. He’d have to contact the Burns’ himself. Normally with Mr. Burns’ accounts, Drake let his assistant manager answer the minimal questions Mr. Burns had. But based on the voicemail from his assistant Drake received the night before, Drake would have to help Mr. Burns figure out just how he was going to invest in Bella Acres.

  He couldn’t bring himself to tell Stefanie he was the Burns’ financial advisor. Would she think he would sway them one way or the other? How would he sway him? And if she did think that, would she accept their answer – even if it was yes?

  Drake had to consider the situation from a business perspective. This was his livelihood. His career. Everything he’d been working for centered on his accounts.

  Stefanie whirled into the office, her hair unbound from any restraints, freshly wet. Her eyes sparkled. “You can sit at my dad’s desk. I love the way it feels when I’m there. I’ll sit over here.” She motioned towards the wingback with its worn cloth armrests.

  Drake hadn’t given the chair more than a cursory glance when he’d walked in, since it was behind him. But knowing that she was going to be there, drew his attention. “I’ll move it closer.” He rested his briefcase on the light but sturdy chair and hefted it to sit closer to the desk.

  “Thanks.” Stefanie smiled again at him, she glanced at the phone and then back at him. “Do you know if we’ve gotten any calls? I haven’t heard the phone ringing all day but...” She offered a slight shrug. “I’m still waiting to hear.”

  She was still waiting to hear because Drake hadn’t had a chance to talk to his client.

  Did he tell her right now? Was that the opportune time? Did he tell her that he held her dreams in his hands?

  There was no doubt he would advise Mr. Burns to invest in Stefanie’s investment. After a couple months, Drake’s plan involved paying off Mr. Burns with interest and taking over the loans.

  The only problem was, Drake knew she couldn’t make the payments. Not right then. Because he knew this, how did he explain to Mr. Burns and consequently, Ronan James, that someone thought the business deal was a sound one?

  The fact that Stefanie believed herself to be worth investing in said more for her naiveté than her confidence. Dang it all, if that didn’t make her more appealing.

  Knowing she didn’t have the financial means pay put Drake in an uncomfortable position. It was almost like having insider-trading information.

  He knew that the investment Mr. Burns was thinking about participating in wouldn’t have a positive feedback, until Drake bought the ranch out from under them all. Long term the situation would have a terrific return for the Burns portfolio. Short term? Not enough to justify the backing.

  Drake claimed the seat at the desk. Glancing at Stefanie, he admired the grace with which she settled into the chair. She drew her bare feet up under her and tucked them beneath her rear-end. She had brought in a book which she opened.

  Casting a partial peek at Drake, she smiled when she caught him looking at her. “I haven’t been in here to read a long time. I’ve missed it.”

  Opening his briefcase, Drake pulled out a small laptop. “Do you have Internet hook up around here? Please tell me it’s not dial-up.” He scrunched up his lips at her like she was going to tell him the world was ending.

  Giggling, Stefanie shook her head. “We do have Internet. It’s one of the only things Nate let us keep because he uses it to look up information on Emma’s condition. It’s DSL. Not the best, but not the worst either.” She pointed towards the modem flashing lights on the end of the desk.

  Drake hadn’t seen the small tower earlier. Where were his observational skills? It’s not like Stefanie was the only thing he could see. Alright, who was he joking? Stefanie was sometimes the only thing he saw. Or noticed.

  He spread out his work, trying to focus on the tasks at hand, and not on the beautiful girl sitting across from him.

  “What do you do? You said something about advising finances or something, but all that is very confusing to me.” Stefanie tapped her finger on the top of her partially-closed book.

  “I’m a financial advisor, for Morrison, Morrison, and Steel. Hoping to make partner within the next year or two.” Did he say how good he was at his job? Did he tell her that he made millions for his clients in under 10 months? Money was like carbon dioxide for him. He breathed and poof there it was.

  “That’s really interesting. Do you like your job?” She studied him with her big blue eyes.

  Drake never considered that part. He withdrew from setting up his work station and narrowed his eyes as he thought it over. “Honestly? I don’t know. I’m good at it. I make a lot of money doing it. I’ve never considered if I like it or not.” Her question startled him. Did he like what he did? He liked the money which filled his bank account. That was no doubt.

  But did he like what he did?

  Stefanie offered a half shrug. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I just never want to do something that I don’t love. But finding what I love is really hard, you know? Like I’m not sure what I’m doing is what I’m supposed to be doing. The only thing I really love is this land.” She fiddled with the pages of the book.

  After a moment, Drake returned to adjusting the settings on the desk and his computer while it booted up.

  Shifting in her seat, Stefanie leaned forward. She glanced toward the closed door like someone would suddenly appear and whispered toward Drake, “I’m waiting for a phone call from Mr. Burns, Cyan’s dad. Drake, I only have a week left. Nate doesn’t know, because Nate doesn’t care.” Tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them back seriously. “I don’t have anyone to talk to
about this. I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to burden you, but I...” She sniffed, drawing back and shoving a hand over her mouth to catch anything that might show her as anything but strong.

  Drake recognized that instant reaction to revealing anything about himself. He nodded conspiratorially. “I understand. I’m often alone with my secrets, too.” He didn’t want to cheapen the moment with a simple smile, so he glanced back down at his paperwork.

  Close to ten minutes passed and Drake finally looked up to find Stefanie watching him with something akin to awe in her expression. “You didn’t think I knew how to work did you?” Drake offered a teasing grin. He hated seeing her in tears. Stefanie’s pain twisted in him sharper than his own.

  Stefanie’s laughter burst through her still-present tears. “I’m sorry... again. It’s not that I don’t think you know how to work. It’s just that I don’t picture you working. You’re really good at spreading straw, though, and not wearing a shirt.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him. “I would pay for that. How much do you make an hour? Maybe I could hire you part time.”

  “At my job? You couldn’t afford me.” Their back-and-forth banter warmed him. Instead of tension, or anger, or biting remarks, teasing with Stefanie created a fluttering in his stomach.

  “I need to make some phone calls. Do you need me to be quiet while you’re reading?” He couldn’t talk to Mr. Burns in front of Stefanie. But he didn’t want to send Stefanie away either.

  “I can get us something to eat. Would you like me to make you a sandwich? Would that give you enough time to make your phone calls? Like 10 minutes?” She stood from the chair, putting the book on the seat where she had previously been.

  “Yes, please. That would be really nice.” The thought that she would be coming back to him spurred the fluttering into a torrential wind.

  Drake could get his phone calls done and then spend more time with her, the perfect work day for him.

  Stefanie ducked from the room. Drake waited a moment to be sure she was gone. Then he picked up the handset and dialed Mr. Burns’ number.

  Chapter 15

  Stefanie

  Stefanie approached Nate in the barn as he wheeled the last load of forging equipment from the back room. His normally handsome face was drawn and tired and his shoulders slumped with defeat.

  “Um, Nate? Can I talk to you?” She didn’t know if it was okay that she was excited about the phone call she’d just received. Inside her heart pounded and she couldn’t quite breathe right, but a horrible churning in her gut told her that Nate wasn’t going to be happy at all.

  Her older brother sighed and stopped pushing the wheelbarrow. “Let me get a drink first, okay?” Nate wiped at his forehead and trudged to the sink by the wall.

  Stefanie swallowed. Mr. Burns had called and said yes to her proposition. She bounced on the soles of her feet. She had to tell Nate. She had to...

  He turned from the sink and offered her an exhausted smile. “What’s going on, peewee?” His childhood nickname for her. They hadn’t had any real connection in a while and the gentle reminder that he was there for her hit her deep below the navel.

  “I got a loan. I get to keep Bella Acres. You can put the forging stuff back. We can keep our home.” The words flowed from her mouth without hesitation once released, like a dam unable to stop the flood waters after it’d been opened. She snapped her mouth shut and studied him for his reaction.

  Nate stared at her, his eyes growing sadder and sadder by the millisecond. “You got a loan to keep Bella Acres. So what? What does that mean?”

  Stefanie’s fear that he would be upset curled into anger on the edges of her emotions. She had done it. She had secured their home and he didn’t understand the importance? How stupid did a person have to be?

  Or how prideful?

  “Yeah, I got a loan to keep our home, Nate. Me. It means you get the money you need to help Emma and we get to sleep in our own beds. We don’t have to have the last moving sale, and Emma can stay here. With us. And not in the back of the flipping pickup truck!” Frustrated tears tore down her cheeks. “You’re not the only one tired and sad about Emma, you’re not the only one this affects. All of this... All of this affects every one of us.”

  Her breathing hitched and she glanced up toward the bare rafters of the ceiling. “Lately, you don’t even care what we think. Hannah is losing more than the rest of us. She doesn’t even complain. She’s sleeping outside your room, on the floor, in the hall, to be closer to Emma.” Stefanie finally let the tears out, but held in her sobs as her voice rose to a yell. “She lost Mom and now we’re losing Emma. Do you even understand what this is doing to us? And we’re losing you, too.”

  Finally, her pain and grief caught up to her. Her shoulders shook and she turned away from him. She couldn’t see his face through her blurry tears.

  She jumped when he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her against the broad strength of his chest. She held herself rigid for a moment and then gave in to the comfort he offered, throwing her arms around him and clinging on for sanity’s sake.

  They stood together, soaking up the other’s loss and pain for what felt like forever but wasn’t long enough.

  Finally, Nate pulled back enough to see Stefanie, but didn’t release her from his grasp. “I didn’t realize this was tearing you guys apart, too. I should’ve. Emma told me to be careful with you girls, but...” He looked over Stefanie’s head, raw emotion twisting his features. “There’s more than just...” He wiped at his eyes with one hand while holding onto Stefanie with another.

  “It will be just like Riddick bought it, but you get to keep the house.” Her whisper hurt, like she was fighting for something they both wanted, but were unable to accept.

  “How? You don’t have a job or anything. How did you get the loan? And for such a large amount? There’s no way Ronan would consider you a safe business bet.” He considered her in the dusty light streaming through the overhead windows. “I don’t mean to be doubtful, there’s just so much more involved in buying a place like this. The monthly payments alone are four digits, easy.”

  Stefanie pushed at the niggling worry that voiced those same concerns inside her heart and shrugged. “I have my ways. Plus, Ronan didn’t loan me the money. Cyan’s parents did. He said the bank would have his information, and all I need to do is go down and sign some papers.” She didn’t understand everything that was involved in the purchase or in the process, which scared her more than the amount of money she was borrowing, but she refused to let Nate know that.

  “Are you sure? Don’t tease me. Keeping the house and having the money... there’s this new treatment on the east coast we could try.” Nate pulled back, shaking his head. “No, wait. Stefanie, we can’t use the money from the sale to pay for medical expenses or anything for Emma. There’s so much that needs to be put into this place to keep it running. So you don’t lose it again in a few months.”

  “What do you mean?” Stefanie ignored her worry as it branched out into her limbs with chilling fingers.

  “I mean, there are so many back taxes and liens on the land that will need to be paid with the sale. Then there’s the fencing along the back and roof needs to be replaced. Not to mention there’s wood rot in the bathroom upstairs and electrical issues downstairs.” Nate shook his head. “Even though I get the money from the sale, I can’t let you deal with all that by yourself. There won’t be much left after everything. Not to mention monthly payments.”

  Stefanie swallowed, forcing her consternation off her face and replacing it with a bright smile. “That’s okay, I figured this out. I’ll figure out the rest of it. You don’t need to help with the house with the sale proceeds. Take care of Emma and I’ll take care of our home. Deal?” She held out her right hand.

  But Nate ignored it, studying her face. After a long moment he shook his head. “No, I’m sorry, Stefanie. I can’t agree to this. Emma will never let me use that money on her when you would be shackled with so much.”<
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  Stefanie dropped her hand to her side. Her earlier tears dried on her skin, making it tight. “I don’t understand. I’ve done everything. I got this loan. I saved us. I saved our home. You can’t just throw that away. You can’t say no.”

  “Look,” Nate paced away from Stefanie, back and forth by only a few feet. He ran his hands through his hair, tugging his head back and then lowering his arms. “I can’t agree to this because I want to be mean or because I want to leave. I’m not impervious to the horror of leaving our home. I get it.”

  He turned and faced her, lifting his chin. “But I’m your brother and I’m the only one left to protect you. You can’t do this. Not alone. The payments will drown you. That’s if you survive even one of the maintenance chores or upkeep tasks.” He thrust his finger through the air in the direction of the house. “That deck job Drake hired out? I guarantee that’s costing him close to five or six thousand dollars. Do you have that kind of money – but in multiples – for the rest of the repairs?”

  Nate continued in the face of her silence. “He won’t be around for long. What happens when Emma does finally leave? Or what happens when possible medical treatment does work for her? He’ll be gone and so will that large wallet of his.” He pierced her with his gaze, tearing out her heart and hopes.

  “Then use the money. Take the loan. We don’t need the house. I got the loan though, don’t waste my efforts, Nate. It took a lot to ask for money and help. Use it for Emma. Save her. Save what’s left of your heart.” Stefanie didn’t even consider what her offer would mean for her and Hannah. Or for Emma. Or for anyone but helping to dull the pain etched into her brother’s voice and face. Even his posture fell under the weight of his world.

  Nate drew back, as if Stefanie had sucker punched him in the gut. “What?”

  “I’m serious. Take the money. Take Emma and get all the treatments you want. Or go on a vacation. Take her and run. We’ll sale the house and I’ll pay off Mr. Burns and anything left over, you can take.” Stefanie rejected the despair rising inside her. “I’ll see if Mr. Burns can give me an increase on the amount, extend the loan some and you can use the extra. Okay?” She wanted his pain to go away.