Hidden Trails

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Her home. Everything she’d ever wanted. The only thing she’d ever wanted. But she’d give it all up for Nate.

  Stefanie’s efforts weren’t in vain. Hope brightened Nate’s face and his red-rimmed eyes shined with unshed tears. He swallowed with a soft nod. “Okay, okay.” He pushed on his eyes with his thumb and forefinger then snapped his gaze back to her face. “Wait, Emma will never agree to this.”

  “Why?” Stefanie didn’t understand all the roadblocks. She wasn’t getting the house, she was getting the house. The ups and downs were going to make her sick.

  “Look, if Emma doesn’t agree to the treatments when we have the money, when we have the means to do it, then there’s no reason to even be stressed about all this. You can have the ranch.” He continued, oblivious to the spark of hope in her heart. “Can you talk to Emma first? Can you see if you can change her mind? She keeps saying it’s too late. She keeps refusing help because the... cancer has spread so much. But,” he hit his fist into his open palm, “I can’t accept that.”

  Nate rushed to Stefanie, grabbing her elbows. “Can you try? If she won’t change her mind,” Nate closed his eyes and dropped his head, releasing Stefanie. “If we can’t change her mind, then you can have Bella Acres. Please, Stefanie, please try to change her mind. I know this makes your choice hard. Your home or a flimsy shot at saving Emma. But... she’s my home.”

  Agreeing wasn’t hard. “It’s not a hard decision, Nate. Emma is worth thousands and thousands of Bella Acres. I’ll see what I can do.” Stefanie would do her best to change Emma’s is mine.

  She loved her sister. She didn’t want to lose her either. And if she couldn’t give her a home, maybe she could give her the best health care they could afford. And with a large sum of money she’d borrow or would be borrowing, she should at least be able to get another year or two for Emma.

  ~~~

  Waiting for Emma to wake up, Stefanie mulled over what she would do or say.

  How would she change Emma’s mind?

  She folded her hands over her chest, waiting in the last chair left in the living room. She glanced around. Nate had really emptied the place.

  He’d sold everything.

  Anything personal, like pictures or family heirlooms, he had packed up into bins to see what he could fit in the back of the truck.

  Stefanie’s heart hurt remembering each thing they had to give up. She glanced at Emma. But if they could save Emma, there was so much more that could be done. The memories that they could make as a family wouldn’t be able to be sold or replaced.

  That was more important.

  “What are you over there chewing on?” Emma’s soft voice interjected into Stefanie’s thoughts.

  “I’ve been waiting for you. I want to talk to you.” Stefanie slid the chair closer to Emma on the couch. She reached out and took Emma’s hand. Talking to Emma required more energy reserve than Nate had needed. She couldn’t tell if she was nervous or worried or what. “I got a loan, to buy Bella Acres. But I don’t want to buy Bella Acres anymore. I want to get you help. Will you take it? Will you let me help you?”

  Emma’s eyes darkened, the shadows around her eyes enhancing the pallor of her skin. “Why are you doing this? You guys need this home. You need this, like a home base, to keep coming back from wherever life takes you.” She squeezed Stefanie’s fingers, pleading with her eyes and tone. “You need this home, Stefanie.”

  Stefanie blinked back tears, the loss of her parents wrapping around her, reminding her of what losing Emma would be like. She struggled to speak as her throat tightened. “No, you make this home. Your love makes it home. I don’t know if I can come here and not see you. You can’t give up. Please.”

  Stefanie hadn’t asked Emma to reconsider. She’d let her make her own decisions. But suddenly all of her longing for Emma to stay won out. Stefanie turned into a little girl. “Please, Emma, I need you. Please, don’t leave me. Hannah and I love you so much. Forget Nate. Stay for us. Stay alive for us. Fight for us. Please. We need you. You’re the older sister we never had. And since Mom’s been gone... Please.”

  She couldn’t fight the tears anymore. They ran down her face like they too had to flee the pain inside her heart. Her desperation stung. She would do anything to keep Emma alive. Keep Emma with them.

  Emma offered a comforting smile. Sadness lurked in her eyes. “Stefanie, you and Hannah are better sisters than I could’ve ever asked for. My mind won’t be changed. I’m ready this time. I’m holding Nate back. I’m holding you girls back. No more. I want you all to find happiness. You can’t constantly worry about me. I’m spending more time trying to convince everyone that this is what I want, when everyone should be focusing on what they want. You don’t really want me to stay here and in pain. Right?”

  Stefanie shook her head, scooting to the edge of her seat. “No. I don’t want you in pain. But I don’t want to feel this pain either. Aren’t you sad about dying? Or scared?” Stefanie didn’t know how to ask any other way. It was a rough question that she had to know the answer to.

  “I was... at first. But the more I have time to adjust, the more I’m just... ready for it to be over. This is tearing apart my heart, too, you know? I,” Emma licked her lips, “I’m leaving behind the best part of me.”

  Emma turned her head away to gather composure then refocused her gaze on Stefanie. “I’m just tired. Stefanie, you forget, I’ve been fighting this my whole life. All I’ve ever known is one big battle against disease. I have hospice coming to the house. Don’t sell this place. Use whatever money you got and keep this place. Have a home so you can keep our family together. I don’t make this your home. Your family makes it my home. And I’ve been so blessed to be able to share it with you guys.”

  Stefanie clenched her jaw. She couldn’t talk anymore. If she said another word, her anger and bitterness and resentment would pour from her. She would risk hurting Emma and her feelings more.

  She felt selfish asking Emma to stay, selfish for wanting her to be in pain longer. But she felt even more selfish not asking her to stay. Emma was Stefanie’s sister and she wanted her around.

  Nate needed her. Stefanie decided to do next best thing. She would keep the house.

  She’d failed Nate, but at least she wouldn’t fail Emma. She’d do whatever she could to keep Emma comfortable. And if she had any money left over, she’d buy more furniture for the house. She’d make the place a home if it killed her.

  Chapter 16

  Drake

  “What do you think?” Drake motioned to the stretch of the new deck in view. He’d even gone so far as to change the composite material to a more weather resistant, tougher type.

  Stefanie had walked out the door and he wanted to catch her eye. Standing off to the side of the driveway on the grass, Drake stood with his hands on his hips as he surveyed the handiwork of the crew he’d just paid. They’d done a great job.

  He was in the perfect position to see her come outside. He needed her to see him, the way he saw her. He couldn’t help himself. He just had to say something to her.

  Stefanie’s grin was wide and happy. As if she was really excited to see him for once.

  She sped down the stairs and rushed up to him, throwing herself into his arms. She hugged him tight, startling him with the voracity in her grasp.

  Pulling back, she grabbed his face in both her hands and drew his lips down to hers. She met his lips with a rushed and determined tenderness. Withdrawing, she stared at him with surprise. “I got it. I got the loan. I had to tell you. I’m so...” She spun from him, her dark hair whirling in the summer sun. “Excited! I’ll be back later. Talk to you then?” She didn’t wait but rushed towards her brother’s truck.

  Bemused, Drake stared after her, wanting to press his fingers to his lips but determined not to show how affected he was in case anyone was watching.

  Since when did she want to kiss him? Dang, he wished he would’ve been ready for that one. Drake took the few steps t
o the stairs and shifted to sit down on the second step up.

  He rested his elbows on his knees and watched Stefanie drive away.

  That girl. The things she did to his soul. Even after all these years his heart wouldn’t stop beating for her.

  Another truck pulled up just as Stefanie pulled out of the driveway. They stopped, windows rolled down and talked for a few minutes, peaking Drake’s curiosity. After a moment, Stefanie drove on toward Colby.

  The other truck came up the drive.

  After parking, Cyan Burns climbed out of the front of the rig. She closed the door, waving at Drake. She approached him, hooking a thumb in her jean pocket. “Drake Benson. I knew Emma’s brother was here, but it wasn’t clicking. What are you doing out this way? Are you heading up to see Dad?”

  “I’ve been slumming it. I’ll probably try to make it up to see your dad in a couple months. He and I are working on some deals right now. Plus, he said he’s trying some different pain relieving methods, so I’m sure now isn’t the time.” Drake smiled, standing and descending the stairs to shake the hand of the daughter of one of his best clients. “What are you doing out here, Cyan? I didn’t think I’d see you down this way.” Hoped would be a more accurate way of putting it.

  He didn’t need Cyan giving away that he knew her. She didn’t need to spill his secrets to Stefanie when he wasn’t sure how Stefanie felt about him. Not yet anyway.

  Cyan nodded towards the house. “I married Jareth. Jareth Darby. He’s Nate’s cousin.” Her eyes darkened and she frowned. “And Emma’s.”

  “I guess the family is pretty close?” Drake tucked his hands into the back pocket of his jeans.

  “This family is very close. So close, in fact, we know that you haven’t been spending time with Emma. Had I known you were her brother, I would’ve just called you, but the family agreed I should be the one to come and interfere on their behalf. Most of the guys are out dealing with their own issues right now, so it fell to me.” She rolled her eyes.

  Drake closed his eyes, turning away from her. He shook his head, taking his hat off and pushing his hair back. “She’s my sister. I think I’m seeing just enough of her. And I’m living in the house right now. I moved my work up here until I can get back. There’s nothing else I can do to spend more time with her.” Not that it was any of their business.

  Cyan moved around to get into his line of sight. Her voice softened and she searched his face. “She called hospice, Drake.”

  Drake straightened. Who did Cyan think she was? She didn’t know him well enough to get into his personal business. Yes, he came across as approachable and personable, but she was the daughter of a client. He couldn’t be dismissive or rude. He glanced toward Colby, worry eating at his gut for Stefanie. “Really? Does Stefanie know? She’s awfully happy, and as happy as I want to see her, I don’t know that she would be acting the way she is if she knew about Emma’s decisions.”

  Cyan glanced in the direction he did then focused her attention on him again. She studied him for a long moment in silence. Suspicion colored her tone. “Did you know my dad is backing Stefanie’s loan?” Cyan watched him like he knew something that he wasn’t sharing. “I mean, I know you approved his financial decisions, but did you actually know it was her loan?”

  Drake nodded slowly. How much did he share and how much did he deny? “Yes, I recommended it. I’m going to purchase the loan from him after a couple months, and relieve the stress from her as well as increase his investment by an agreed upon percentage.” Telling her the basics was only the smart thing to do.

  Mr. Burns was known to have a loose tongue when he was in pain and trying to cope with it. Better to be straightforward from the beginning.

  “You like her don’t you? I mean more than like her.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him. A sparkle in her eye as she teased him. Cyan reached out and nudged his elbow.

  Drake couldn’t smile. He opened his mouth and then closed it. He narrowed his eyes. “No, I don’t like her. She infuriates me. There are things about her stubbornness that drives me up the wall. She’s loyal. I don’t like her. I love her. I’ve always loved her. But I always get in my own stupid way.” Heat flooded his face.

  Admitting it to anybody out loud was hard. But if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to admit it to himself.

  “What are you waiting for then? I know you haven’t asked her out. I know you haven’t done anything to date her or do anything else to show that you’re interested. If you had, the rest of us would know.” She angled her head and shrugged. “Close family, remember?”

  Drake shoved his hands in his pockets. “Stefanie needs to come to me. She’s so stubborn and strong-minded, I don’t want to push her away.”

  Cyan’s laughter burst forth with surprising warmth. “Then prepare to be old and alone. Stefanie won’t ever come to you. She doesn’t know what she wants. She has her mind focused on one goal and one goal only. You will not win her by giving her space. She needs action, sacrifice, you need to make her happy. But... You need to make it seem like it’s her idea.” Cyan stepped up to the stairs and turned to face him, so her eyes were on level with his.

  She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, leaning conspiratorially closer. “And just between you and me? The fact that you want to pay back my dad’s loan and essentially buy the ranch from Stefanie is going behind her back. It’s sweet and all but she’s not going to let you help her, if she thinks it’s for her.”

  Cyan waited for that to sink in, then she continued. “You need to make a deal with her like you’re doing it for Emma. That’s the only way to get Stefanie to agree to anything. If you pay for things behind her back and if she doesn’t know about your deal with my dad, you’ll be doomed from the start. Make a deal with her. I promise that will work. Stefanie is hardheaded. But she has soft spots. And I’ll bet anything you’re one of them.”

  Drake watched after Cyan as she walked into the house. He had a lot to think about.

  How long was Stefanie going to be at the bank? He needed to know how long he had to come up with a game plan.

  He needed to ask her out.

  He needed to see her again.

  He needed a lot of things, but first he needed to make his intentions known.

  Everyday occurrences of her kissing him playfully in the front yard or anywhere was all he wanted.

  He wanted what Nate and Emma had... minus the hospice. Was that too much to ask? He hoped not. One thing he couldn’t stand was the thought of going any more time without Stefanie in his life.

  Chapter 17

  Stefanie

  As the truck rumbled down the country road, Stefanie pressed her fingers to her lips. Her giddiness was untamable. She had just kissed Drake.

  Drake Benson.

  She had always wanted to do that. Kissing him had been almost as important to her as buying Bella Acres.

  So why not celebrate both at the same time? And he’d been there. Just standing there. And he had put in the nicest deck and ramp for her sister-in-law.

  For his sister.

  Drake was the kind of guy that took care of family. Just like Stefanie. She wanted a guy like that. One who was loyal. Who wouldn’t leave. The biggest thing Drake had done after all that time was come back when he was needed. And sometimes, that was more important than staying.

  Heaven knew returning after feeling banished was definitely harder to do.

  The ride into Colby passed faster than she expected as her thoughts focused on Drake and not on the excitement of the save.

  She parked the truck haphazardly in a parallel spot, the tailgate this time hanging over the sidewalk. She rushed into the beautifully appointed bank.

  Stefanie rushed through the double doors, anxious to hurry up and wait. She knew that’s what was going to happen. It was a busy week day, banks were busy. She understood that.

  At the front desk, she tapped her finger on the table, waiting to be acknowledged by a different receptionist from t
he first time Stefanie had been there. After a moment, the woman lifted her gaze from the ledger in front of her and peeked at Stefanie over her wire-rimmed glasses. “Can I help you?”

  “Yes, please, I’m here to see Mr. James. My name is Stefanie Rourke.” Her voice shook but she pretended not to notice.

  The woman nodded with the phone still pressed to her ear. “Please, take a seat, I’ll let him know you’re here.”

  Stefanie wended her way through the elegantly padded chairs. The woman behind her spoke into the intercom, announcing her name.

  It was happening.

  Any second she would be in there with Mr. James. Any second she would be in there declaring her intentions, and her means that she had acquired to accomplish what he had given her to do. She was so close.

  Nate had promised to sign the bill, in case she needed one. But she didn’t think that would be necessary. Drake had mumbled something about money talking, and she knew that if she really needed something done, all she had to do was show the money.

  Money that wasn’t hers.

  That wasn’t the point. The point was she had the way and the means to purchase Bella Acres. And she was not going to give up. Her determination was going to win this for her.

  She tried to press away her smugness with the wrinkles in her pants. She tucked her fingers under her legs, jiggling her feet and knees with her nerves.

  “Stefanie Rourke, I wasn’t expecting you so soon. Don’t you still have a few more days?” Ronan James, with his well-fitted suit tapering at the waist, struck a fine figure a few feet from his office door. His smile was charming but curious. “Is everything okay? Would you like to come into my office?”

  Stefanie bounced from the chair. “Yes, please.”

  She followed him into his office, claiming the chair where she had been denied only a few days before. She waited for him to sit before she burst forth with her news. “Mr. James, I did it. You told me I needed a backer. I have someone who’s willing to invest in me. I would like to buy Bella Acres.”