Beth sounded as choked up as he did and Callum lowered his eyes. His heart scrunched up inside him when he saw the tears that were now trickling down her beautiful face.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he began, but she held up her hand.
‘Don’t! I don’t want to hear anything else.’ She stood up, making it clear that she wanted him to leave.
Callum didn’t say another word as he let himself out. He made his way back to the pub, went up to his room, and lay down on the bed, feeling more wretched than he had felt in his entire life.
Even when he had asked Beth for a divorce, he hadn’t felt this depth of despair. It had been hard then, heart-wrenchingly hard, but he had been so sure it was the right thing to do. With him out of the way, she would be forced to stop trying to conceive and allow her mind as well as her body to rest. That thought had kept him focused, given him strength. He had loved her so much, but he’d had to leave for her sake. Now she didn’t want anything to do with him and even though he understood why she felt that way, the thought ripped a hole right through his heart.
CHAPTER THREE
BETH SPENT THE next few days thinking about what Callum had asked her. The question constantly whizzed around her brain: should she allow him to have access to Beatrix? Her gut reaction was to refuse but she knew that she needed to take her time and think about it. It wasn’t fair to Beatrix to make a snap decision when it could have such a huge impact on her life.
When Daniel Saunders, the senior partner at the practice, phoned to ask her if she would consider returning to work earlier than planned, it was a relief because it gave her something else to think about. Apparently, Sandra Nelson, one of the other GPs, had been rushed into hospital with appendicitis. With Daniel’s wife, Eleanor, on maternity leave, it meant the practice was currently under a huge amount of pressure.
Beth agreed immediately, even though she hated the thought of leaving Beatrix. She went into the surgery on the Monday morning, realising in surprise that she felt a little bit nervous. Even though she had worked there for a number of years, it felt strange to be back, almost as though she was the new girl. However, she soon got over that feeling when Marie, the receptionist, greeted her in delight.
‘Beth!’ Marie shot round the desk and enveloped Beth in a hug. ‘It’s great to have you back. We’ve missed you!’
‘Thank you. I’ve missed you too,’ Beth replied, and realised that she meant it. Although she loved Beatrix to bits, she enjoyed her job and had missed the daily contact with her colleagues and patients. She glanced around the waiting room, smiling when she spotted a couple of early arrivals. ‘Not much has changed, I see. The early birds are still here.’
‘Too right!’ Marie agreed, laughing. ‘It’s business as usual, although Eleanor’s on maternity leave and Bernard has finally retired, though I expect you know that already.’
‘I do, but it’s nice to be reminded.’ Beth rolled her eyes. ‘I’m suffering from a bad case of baby brain and keep forgetting things.’
‘Don’t worry, it will get better, although it could take some time before you’re functioning properly,’ Marie replied wryly. ‘I remember how long it took me to feel halfway normal after I’d had my two.’
‘Don’t!’ Beth laughed. ‘You’re scaring me to death.’ She looked round and smiled when she saw Daniel coming along the corridor. ‘Marie was just explaining the pitfalls of motherhood to me.’
‘A bit late for that, I’d have thought,’ he answered, laughing. He kissed Beth on the cheek. ‘Thank you so much for doing this. When Sandra’s husband phoned and told me what had happened, I didn’t know what we were going to do. I can’t tell you how relieved I was when you said you’d come back to work earlier than planned.’
‘It isn’t a problem,’ Beth assured him as they headed to his room. ‘I dropped Beatrix off at the childminder’s house and I have to say that she didn’t appear to be the least bit worried about me leaving her. She was more interested in playing with the other children to miss her mum.’
‘Good. It’s never easy when you leave them for the first time, whether it’s with a childminder or on their first day at school. Why, I even got all choked up when we saw Nathan off to Australia,’ he admitted, referring to his nineteen-year-old son who was currently away on his gap year. ‘How daft is that?’
‘It isn’t daft at all,’ Beth assured him, smiling. ‘Although you’ll have to toughen up now that you have Mia. It won’t be long before she has a whole load of “firsts” to get through.’
‘Don’t!’ Daniel shuddered at the thought of going through it all again with his baby daughter. ‘Anyway, enough of that. I just wanted to check that you’re up to speed. You’ll be covering Hemsthwaite Surgery while Sandra’s off. I don’t think you’ve worked there before, have you?’
‘No. I’d gone on maternity leave when you introduced the new system so that the staff here could take turns working there.’
‘I thought so. It’s been very useful, I have to say. Although some patients use both surgeries, the majority tend to stick to one or the other. The new system gives everyone a chance to get to know all our patients and that can only be a good thing. Obviously, you’ll have access to everyone’s notes via the computer so if one of our patients does turn up there, it won’t be a problem,’ he added.
‘It sounds great. I’m looking forward to getting back to work,’ Beth explained, truthfully.
‘Good. I’m delighted to have you back too. We’ve been really pushed recently, although I’m hoping that things are going to improve. If you’re agreeable, of course.’
‘You want me to do some hours here as well?’ Beth queried, wondering why Daniel sounded so grave all of a sudden.
‘No, not at all. Covering for Sandra is more than enough at the moment.’ He paused and Beth felt her nerves tighten. She was actually holding her breath as she waited for him to continue.
‘We desperately need more cover here, though. It was hard enough when there was just Eleanor and me, but now that I’m on my own, it’s impossible to keep on top of all the work. I’ve been trawling the agencies to find a locum but there’s nobody suitable willing to work in this part of the world.’ He sighed. ‘Beautiful countryside can’t hold a candle to the bright city lights, it seems.’
‘It must be difficult,’ she murmured, wondering where this was leading. Daniel rarely prevaricated and that he was doing so now set all her internal alarm bells ringing.
‘It is. Which is why I was delighted when I had a phone call from someone I not only know can do the job, but who will also get on with the rest of the team.’ He looked her straight in the eyes. ‘Callum has asked if he can have a job here, Beth. While I know he’s ideal, I don’t want to cause any problems for you, so it’s your call. What shall I tell him?’
* * *
Callum switched off his phone, stunned by what he had just heard. Daniel had called to say that the job was his if he still wanted it. Daniel had been quite blunt when Callum had asked him if there was a vacancy. He had made no bones about the fact that he would need to ask Beth how she felt about Callum working at the surgery. It was the fact that she had agreed that surprised him most of all. Did it mean that she was willing to give him another chance?
He cut that thought dead. There could be a dozen different reasons why Beth had agreed to him working at The Larches, so he shouldn’t go jumping to conclusions. He had spent three wretched days, too wrapped up in his own misery to think clearly. Then, gradually, his mind had started to clear and he had realised what he needed to do. He wasn’t going to give up. He was going to find a way to convince Beth that he cared about their daughter. Maybe he would never be able to convince her that he cared about her too, but he had to accept that.
Staying in Beesdale was the first step and he couldn’t believe his luck when he heard someone mention in the pub one night that the surgery was desperate
ly in need of another doctor. He had phoned Daniel immediately and explained that he was back in Beesdale and looking for a job. Although he hadn’t gone into detail, he had also explained about the delay in receiving Beth’s letter. It had obviously reassured Daniel to some extent, but he had still added the proviso that he would need to consult Beth before he could take Callum on. And it appeared she hadn’t raised any objections. Even though Callum had told himself not to leap to any conclusions, he couldn’t help it.
If Beth had hated the idea of him staying in Beesdale then she would never have given the go-ahead for him to work there.
* * *
Beth found herself starting to relax once she had seen her first patient. Whether it was the shock of hearing that Callum intended to stay in Beesdale or first-day-back nerves, she had felt incredibly tense when she had arrived at the Hemsthwaite surgery. However, focusing on her patients’ problems had soon taken her mind off everything else, even if it was only a temporary reprieve. She buzzed in her next patient, smiling when Diane Applethwaite came into the room. Diane and her husband, Phil, ran a highly successful sheep farm. Their lamb was renowned throughout the Dales for its quality and flavour. With seven children, plus a brand new grandson on the way, Diane was a very busy woman. She was always full of life so Beth was surprised to see how down she looked that day.
‘Hello, Diane. Come and sit down.’ Beth waited until the other woman was comfortably settled. ‘So what can I do for you?’
‘I’m not sure what to tell you, Dr Andrews. I just feel so tired all the time, as though I’ve got no energy left.’ Diane sighed. ‘It’s not like me at all. Phil must be sick of me moping about all over the place. That’s why I came to see you.’
‘I see. Do you have any other symptoms apart from feeling tired?’ Beth asked, mentally running through a list of possible causes. Anaemia was a possibility as a lot of women suffered from that, especially if their monthly periods were heavy. She glanced at Diane’s notes and checked her age: forty-eight. It could be the menopause, of course; that could cause a wide range of symptoms from tiredness through to mood swings. Hormone replacement therapy could help if that were the case, although it was too soon to make a diagnosis.
‘Not really.’ Diane hesitated. ‘Although I’ve felt sick a few times too.’
‘Anything else?’ Beth prompted when Diane paused again.
‘Well, I’ve not had a period for a while.’ She grimaced. ‘I used to be regular as clockwork but in the past year, I’ve been all over the place. Do you think it’s the change, Dr Andrews?’
‘It’s possible, Diane. You’re forty-eight and it could very well be the start of the menopause. We’ll do some tests, check your hormone levels, and see what they show.’
Diane nodded. ‘I thought it might be that. To be honest, I’ve been dreading it. My mum was terrible when she went through the change, had these awful hot flushes and she was so bad tempered too. I’d hate to think that I’ll be like that.’
‘There’s no reason why you should take after your mother,’ Beth said consolingly. ‘Every woman is different, plus there’s HRT these days, which can help enormously to alleviate the worst symptoms.’
‘Is it safe, though? I’ve read so many conflicting reports about HRT that I’m not sure if I want to take it or not.’
‘That’s your decision and I certainly wouldn’t try to force you to take it,’ Beth assured her. ‘However, in my opinion, it’s extremely safe and very helpful too.’ She stood up, not wanting to appear to be pushing Diane into making a decision right then. ‘Let’s take some blood and see what that shows before we go any further.’
Beth took the sample, deciding it was easier to do it herself rather than ask Diane to wait to see Jane Barton, their practice nurse. Once the tubes were clearly labelled, she popped them into an envelope ready for the courier to collect at lunchtime. ‘We should have the results back in a week or so. In the meantime, I’m going to prescribe a course of iron tablets to help with the tiredness. I think you may be a little anaemic—the blood results will show if you are—and the iron will help.’
‘Let’s hope so. It’s a busy time of the year for us and I could do with a bit more energy. I’ll definitely need it when our Sam and Lauren have the baby,’ Diane declared, sounding much brighter than when she had arrived.
‘It won’t be long now,’ Beth agreed, thinking how much it could help to talk through a problem. She sighed inwardly, wondering if she should have talked to Daniel about the problem she had with Callum before she had agreed that he could work at The Larches. Maybe it would have helped a bit, she acknowledged, but at the end of the day it was something she had to resolve by herself. She fixed a smile to her mouth, not wanting to think about her own worries. ‘Are you looking forward to being a grandmother?’
‘That I am. It seems an age since there was a little one running around the place,’ Diane said with a laugh. ‘Steven, my youngest, is seventeen now and at least a foot taller than me. He’s certainly not a baby any more!’
Beth laughed as she saw Diane out. She worked her way through the rest of the list then went to Reception to wait for the courier. There were several more tests that Jane had collected so she handed them over as well. They closed for lunch but there was an open surgery in the afternoon, plus a visit by the local optician. Hemsthwaite Surgery might be smaller than The Larches and open for fewer hours, but it was still very busy and she would enjoy working there, she decided as she went to lock the door after the courier left.
Her hand was hovering over the catch when she saw a car turn into the car park and she frowned, hoping it wasn’t an early arrival. It was only when the driver got out that she realised it was Callum and her heart seemed to skip a beat. What on earth was Callum doing here?
Callum wasn’t sure if he should be doing this. He had intended to give Beth some space but the urge to see her had been too strong to resist. He locked the car then started to walk towards the surgery, his stomach lurching when he saw Beth standing by the door. It was hard to read her expression from this distance but he had the feeling that she wasn’t exactly thrilled to see him. It was only the thought of how it would appear if he turned around and went back to the car that kept him walking towards her.
‘What are you doing here, Callum?’
There was no welcome in her voice and he sighed under his breath. Obviously, the situation hadn’t improved as much as he had hoped it had. Beth was still loath to have anything to do with him and although he could understand it in a way, it was starting to grate on him. His tone was harsher than it might have been, less conciliatory. Beth wasn’t the only one who had suffered: he had too.
‘I came to thank you for not raising any objections about me being offered the locum post,’ he said flatly. ‘However, I can see that I’m wasting my time. Jack the Ripper would probably receive a warmer welcome than me!’ He swung round, deciding that it would be better if he got back in his car and left. He wasn’t helping his case, was he? He was simply putting Beth’s back up and that was the last thing he could afford to do.
‘Wait!’
Callum slowed, although he didn’t stop altogether. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw that Beth had stepped outside and was standing on the path. There was such a look of indecision on her face that he felt his heart suddenly go out to her. That she was torn between sending him packing and talking to him was obvious and he hated to know that he had put her in this position. He didn’t want to make life difficult for her but unless they found a way to resolve this situation, it was going to continue to be stressful for both of them. The thought made him turn round and retrace his steps.
‘Look, Beth, I didn’t come here to start an argument,’ he said quietly. ‘I simply came to thank you. Daniel told me that I could have the job as long as you didn’t raise any objections and I’m just grateful that you agreed.’
‘Why? That’s what I
don’t understand, Callum. Why do you want to work here? Why do you want to stay in Beesdale for that matter?’
There was a tremor in her voice that made Callum feel worse than ever. That she was upset was obvious and there was absolutely nothing he could say that would help...apart from telling her the truth, perhaps?
The thought of baring his soul made his stomach clench. Was he prepared to do that, to admit how he felt about becoming a father in the hope that it would convince her to let him see their daughter? What if he said too much? What if the words somehow slipped out and he found himself admitting how he felt about her? The thought gave him hot and cold chills because he wasn’t sure if he could cope if Beth rejected him.
‘Callum...?’
‘Have you had lunch yet?’ Callum cut her off, knowing that he needed time to work out what he was going to say if he was to avoid a disaster.
‘Lunch,’ Beth repeated, blankly.
‘Mmm. I’ve got to drive over to Leeds this afternoon to pick up the rest of my stuff from the airport. There wasn’t room for it in the plane I flew back on so it had to be sent as freight. I was planning to have lunch on the way so do you fancy joining me?’ he said, as though inviting her to have lunch with him was the most natural thing in the world to do. Maybe it should be, he thought suddenly. After all, if they could forge some kind of normal relationship then surely it would help?
‘I’m not sure it’s a good idea,’ she said flatly.
‘Why not? Look, I know you’re angry with me, and I understand why, but I want this to work, Beth. I want to be here for Beatrix, not just now but in the future as well. Maybe I had doubts about becoming a father in the past, but now that it’s happened, I know it’s what I want.’ Callum felt a wave of emotion rise up and almost choke him but he forced himself to carry on. ‘The last thing I want is Beatrix growing up, thinking that I don’t care about her. I know how destructive that can be, believe me!’
Reunited by Their Baby Page 3