Just Enough Light

by AJ Quinn

  Kellen stepped into Annie’s arms without hesitation. From where Dana stood, the hug looked comforting and tender, exactly what Kellen needed, and for a moment it appeared as if Kellen couldn’t let go.

  “I’m glad you decided to stick it out here with us,” Annie told her. “I’ll call my father in the morning and see what can be done to head off both the private investigator and your father. After that, I’ll take Dana with me to work on the grand opening for the clinic and leave you to deal with Calvin Grant.”

  Kellen’s laugh was dry. “Thanks for making the tough call for me. I would have never been able to decide between working on plans for the gala—which I happen to despise—and spending face time with my favorite FBI agent. How can I ever thank you?”

  Annie chuckled. “Having you back is thanks enough. In the meantime, call me if you need anything. Promise?”

  “I will.”

  When she stepped out of Annie’s arms, Kellen turned toward Dana and extended her hand, her eyes revealing far more than she probably intended to. “Come on. Why don’t we go get the girls together? They can help carry the pot of chili and whatever else you need to bring.”

  Dana felt the husky timbre of Kellen’s voice as it wound through her and didn’t hesitate. An instant later, Kellen’s calloused fingers were intertwined with her own.

  *

  Dinner went much better than expected.

  Kellen had been nervous, knowing neither Cody nor Ren was very good when it came to experimenting with unfamiliar foods. She didn’t often push them beyond their comfort zone, and she had learned through personal experience that both could be brutally frank if they didn’t like something.

  She understood. Their time living on the street, like hers, had left an indelible mark and their tastes ran to simple, even after all this time away from the alleys and culverts. Grilled cheese, soup, and fruit salad were staples. Vegetarian pizza from Up the Creek was a treat. And apples. Ren loved apples.

  If that was what made them happy, Kellen would happily oblige. The two girls were what counted. They were her family, and she would do anything to protect them and keep them safe and happy. It also made it imperative they get along well with Dana, because Dana was rapidly consuming all her thoughts.

  It turned out she needn’t have worried. As they took their first tentative tastes from the bowls of chili Dana had served, their delight was quickly apparent. Almost as strong as their reaction when Kellen and Dana had appeared at their door hand in hand. In fact, Kellen was starting to think both girls just might have tiny crushes on the beautiful doctor. Not that she could blame them.

  Since Dana had made dinner, Kellen insisted she relax with the girls while she cleaned up. She enjoyed watching the three of them build a fire and cuddle on the couch with Bogart lying at their feet. The girls told Dana more about Haven, about summer visitors who came for hiking and camping, about kayaking on the river, and how Kellen had taught them to fish without hooks and rods, just using their hands.

  Dana sounded intrigued and Cody and Ren immediately offered to teach her. They also peppered her with questions about her life, her family, and studying to become a doctor.

  “My parents wouldn’t let me consider anything else but Harvard. It was where my father went to school and if it was good enough for Davis Kingston…” Dana shrugged.

  “Your birth father’s a doctor?” Cody asked. “Is that why you became a doctor?”

  “Yes, my father’s a doctor, but that’s not why I became one too. I always knew from the time I was a little girl that I wanted to help people.”

  Ren’s smile widened. “You mean like Kellen?”

  Dana grinned. “Yes, I guess something like Kellen, except I like my feet on the ground when I do it.”

  Listening to the ongoing conversation had been an interesting experience, Kellen thought and smiled, because she realized she was learning things she hadn’t known before. She had just finished putting everything away when she heard Ren ask Dana if she would answer a more personal question.

  She wasn’t surprised when Dana said yes. Turning around, she held her breath as she waited for Ren’s question, wondering what it could possibly be.

  But nothing could have prepared her when she heard Ren ask, “Do you love Kellen?”

  *

  Dana was stunned.

  Of all the questions Ren might have asked, that was not one she could have ever imagined. But answering it right suddenly became critical.

  She heard the innocence in Ren’s question, an innocence that had miraculously survived whatever the girl had experienced in her past. And she saw hope burning brightly in her eyes as she waited for an answer.

  Dana knew Kellen had heard Ren’s question. She stood frozen in place, her eyes widened in shock.

  And then she remembered Annie asking her if she knew Kellen and the girls came as a package deal.

  If she failed to answer Ren’s question honestly, all of them—Kellen, Ren, and Cody—would see through her attempt to prevaricate. And that could destroy any chance they might have, as clearly as if she said no.

  Acting purely on instinct, she closed her eyes and held out her hand toward Kellen. Hoping more than anything she would take it because she could think of no alternative and there was no turning back.

  Five seconds became ten then became twenty. An initial thread of worry increased and Dana’s heart began to accelerate under a very real fear she had overplayed her hand. Waves of mortification washed over her and she wished she was anywhere but here. What the hell was I thinking?

  Suddenly she felt the warmth of Kellen’s hand holding hers, followed by the gentle press of Kellen’s lips against her own. She felt lightheaded, heard the unmistakable hitch in her breathing, and as she pulled away and opened her eyes, she saw Kellen’s incredible blue eyes staring back at her.

  She struggled to find her voice and whispered, “Yes.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Calvin Grant quietly shook his head as he stared at the stack of computer printouts on the desk. “I have to admit, you are the last person I ever expected to hear from.”

  Kellen shrugged. Grant might not have expected her call, but she was aware he’d been staying close nonetheless, having taken a room in a local hotel. Clearly he had chosen to stay close enough to respond, but far enough away not to raise the ire of Senator Parker.

  She started to take a sip of her coffee, but quickly set the mug back down when she realized her hand was shaking. “As long as we can work together and find out who’s behind the shooting before anyone else gets hurt, I don’t really care what you think of me.”

  Grant sent a long, slow gaze in her direction. “I don’t dislike you, Kellen. Hell, if you want to know the truth, I actually admire you and what you’ve managed to do given where you started. Maybe when this is over, we can sit down and talk, over a beer.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” she answered slowly. “For now, tell me what you need and let’s get it done.”

  For the next few hours, they worked with a young tech Grant brought in to set up a computer system, replete with access to FBI and State Department files. “How long do you think this might take,” Kellen asked, sitting back and rubbing her temples.

  “It’s hard to say. It’s not that the list you’ve got is that long. It’s that the people on the list could have gone anywhere in the world after they left you. If our guy’s American, we should be able to access some kind of death certificate or obit. But you also train quite a number of people from elsewhere. Chile and Australia, for example. Tracking them will be more difficult.”

  “Impossible?”

  “Nothing’s impossible.”

  “I’m not sure how you do what you do,” Kellen admitted, “so I had no idea when I called you if what I was suggesting was possible.”

  “It’s more than possible. It just won’t necessarily be quick and easy. But it’s a hell of an idea, and I’ve a feeling we’ll find our shooter here.”

  Kellen r
aised an eyebrow. “Do you rely on gut instinct a lot in your job?”

  Grant laughed. “I know it’s not very scientific, but in a lot of cases, gut instinct will often lead the way faster than technology. You don’t believe in following your gut?”

  “On the contrary. You’re talking my language now.”

  “Good. Because right now my gut is telling me you’ve got a killer headache. Why don’t you take something for it and call it a day?”

  Kellen considered his suggestion and knew he was right. “All right, as long as there’s nothing else I can do.”

  “There is one thing.”

  Damn it, she thought. Just as she was beginning get comfortable with him. “What might that be?” she asked, her voice holding a frosty edge.

  “It’s something I want you to consider, that’s all.”

  “Go on.”

  “We both know our shooter’s here. You feel it as much as I do if not more. So I’d like to suggest adding a couple of sharpshooters to your teams each time they go out, so we can be better prepared when he does show. Because he will. You know that, don’t you?”

  Kellen nodded slowly.

  “They’re trained. They shouldn’t have any problem keeping up with your teams, and who knows, they might even help. But you don’t need to decide now—”

  “Will your sharpshooters be able to protect my people?”

  Grant’s face softened. “I can’t guarantee anything, Kellen. What I can tell you is they’ll do their damn best to finish this before anyone else gets hurt.”

  “Okay.”

  *

  It was early evening before Dana was ready to head to her cabin. The hours had somehow flown by and she was exhausted.

  The clinic had been busy with a rash of minor injuries and people from neighboring counties had taken to dropping by, wanting to check things out, get acquainted, ask for advice, or make appointments. After the chaos she’d left behind in the ER in New York, it felt amazing.

  The two family medicine doctors who had come on board were fitting in and working well together and she had worked out a schedule with Liz and Annie that would ensure emergency coverage at all times. The rest of the time would be allocated for scheduled appointments, walk-ins, and callouts.

  Happy with how things were going, she’d left Liz to continue overseeing things in the clinic and spent the remainder of the day working on the endless planning involved in arranging the gala. Key donors would be in attendance, including Senator and Mrs. Parker. But the guest list also included nearby resort owners and community leaders from several neighboring towns, all of whom were routinely served by Alpine and would benefit from the clinic’s presence.

  At least Annie seemed pleased with the progress they’d made, though the task list had seemed daunting when the day began.

  Dana stopped by Kellen’s office on the way out, planning on seeing what she wanted to do about dinner, and was surprised to find it dark.

  “She left early. Maybe a couple of hours ago,” Gabe said. “I talked to her for a bit when she came by looking for something to help with a headache. She looked a bit rough.”

  “I’ll check on her,” Dana offered quickly. “Her cabin’s next to mine, so I’m heading in that direction anyway, and if she hasn’t eaten, I can make her something.”

  Gabe gave a quick smile. “You take good care of our girl, Doc. And if you need any help, you let me know.”

  “I will.” Before leaving, she grabbed her medical bag, just in case. She then made her way through the darkness toward Kellen’s cabin, the night air reviving her.

  She knocked softly on the door, growing concerned when she heard Bogart on the other side of the door, but there was no sign of Kellen. After another knock, she pushed the door open and let Bogart lick her hand as she slipped out of her boots.

  “Kellen?”

  A sound coming from the living room drew her to the sofa where Kellen was curled on her side, her face pale. Normally she hummed with energy, as though she were plugged in to some cosmic power source. Not today. Today she was tight, not vibrant.

  “Talk to me, Kellen. Tell me what’s wrong. Let me help.”

  “It’s just a headache,” she answered quietly, as if the sound of her own voice made the pain worse. “I can’t seem to shake it.”

  “Gabe said you’d been looking for something to help alleviate it. What have you taken so far?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You didn’t take anything at all? How come?”

  Kellen gave her a wry smile. “The meds leave me feeling disconnected. And I…I realized I need to stay aware.”

  Dana understood. “All right. No pills. What you really need is sleep.” She weighed her options then turned back to Kellen. “Do you think you can make it to your bed if I help you?”

  “If you’re afraid I’ll get sick on you, don’t worry. I’ve nothing left inside—except this headache.”

  “Oh Lord,” Dana murmured. Before Kellen could respond, Dana got her onto her feet, pausing long enough to let her regain her equilibrium when she started to sway. “Okay?”

  Kellen nodded. Moving slowly, she allowed Dana to lead her to her bed, where she quickly collapsed, stretching out on her back while Dana settled beside her.

  When she brought her thumbs to Kellen’s temples and began kneading gently in slow circles, Kellen released a low moan. Dana smiled and kept the soothing motion up until she felt the tension ease from Kellen’s muscles as she relaxed under her touch. Until Kellen’s slow and steady breathing deepened and told Dana she was asleep. Smiling, Dana lay down beside her and closed her own eyes, letting Kellen’s scent and warmth envelop her.

  *

  For the first time she could remember, several different and distinct sensations brought Kellen out of her nightmare. One was the familiar touch of Bogart’s nose against her hand. The others were an amalgam. The warmth of the body spooned against her back, the hand gently stroking her, the soft voice whispering soothing words. And the scent. The scent that was Dana.

  “It’s okay, I’m awake,” she said, her voice raspy and still sleep filled.

  Dana’s hand didn’t stop stroking her arm. “How are you feeling? How’s the headache?”

  “It’s good. Clearly, you have a magic touch. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. But I think you mostly needed to sleep. You’ve pushed yourself ragged, Kellen. You need to slow down and let others help you now.”

  “I am.” Kellen knew her reply was defensive and tried to tone it down, without a great deal of success. “I spent yesterday working with Special Agent Grant combing through records of people I got to know. People I trained. If that’s not accepting help, I don’t know what is.”

  She felt Dana’s gaze and wondered what she saw.

  “Is that what triggered the headache?”

  “No. Yes. Ah hell, Dana, I don’t know. As I looked at the old files of former students, I couldn’t stop thinking. These are people I cared about and one of them is more than likely dead—who knows, maybe more than one. And whoever they left behind is grieving so badly he can’t think straight. He’s hurting. In pain. And it’s making him strike out.”

  “I know, love,” Dana said. “But you can’t own responsibility for it. And you need to play it safe. The shooter may be grieving, but he’s still a killer, no matter how you look at it.”

  Kellen nodded. “I know. It’s why I agreed to let Grant place a couple of sharpshooters on my teams during callouts.”

  “You did?” She sounded surprised.

  “Yeah. Grant said there’re no guarantees. He can’t promise someone won’t get hurt, but I knew I had to try and prevent what happened to Tim from happening again. If you don’t learn from past mistakes, the pain of them is pointless. So I knew I had to do something.”

  Dana sighed. “You do know you didn’t make a mistake when Tim got hurt, don’t you?”

  “Sure I did. I knew he was out there. We all did. And I let you and Annie g
round me, believing if I wasn’t available, the shooter wouldn’t do anything. I was wrong and I didn’t do anything to protect my people.”

  “If that’s the case, then we all share the blame, Kellen. You, me, Annie, the FBI. We were all wrong. What’s important is that Tim will be fine. Before you know it, he’ll be back on your team, teasing you and driving you crazy.”

  “I hope so. Tim’s one of the good guys, and if you ever tell him I said so, I’ll deny it, but I miss him.” Kellen briefly closed her eyes. “Right now, what I need more than anything is coffee.”

  “Would you like me to make it while you rest a little longer?”

  Kellen laughed and realized it felt good. “No offense, but I’ve had your coffee. How about I make it and take a quick shower? By the time I’m out, the coffee will be ready and I’ll bring you some in bed.”

  “I’ve a better idea,” Dana countered. “How about you make the coffee and hop into the shower. I’ll let Bogart out and then join you in the shower in a few minutes.”

  “I like how you think, Doc,” Kellen said as she slipped out of bed.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  It was late afternoon when a call came in about a couple of lost snowboarders. The caller indicated the pair had been exploring a remote region when they’d last communicated with their families, admitting they were lost and wet and digging a snow cave for protection.

  Snowboarding, particularly in back country, was an inherently dangerous sport. Given the high avalanche danger and limited daylight, Kellen immediately put together a small team to start the search, while reserving most members for a full-scale search the next day.

  “I’m available. I know I’ve not done a night search before, but I’d like to help.”

  Kellen turned to find Jake standing there, squaring his shoulders as he looked to her for a response. She met his gaze. “The area we’re going to is notorious—the conditions change very quickly. Are you prepared to walk all night, while the temperatures dip below zero? Or spend the night out in the freezing cold and bed down with the victims if we find them?”