What Doesn't Kill You

by Aimee Hix

  The metal stairs creaked and clanged under his heavy footfalls. I watched him walk away. That was as simple as it was going to get. If I were willing to step aside, let him wrap me in a cocoon of normal, be like his mother, live in that house down the street from our parents, I wouldn’t be me. If he wanted someone who was willing to sit on the sidelines and just watch, he wouldn’t want me. I wondered if he really did want me or if he’d just wanted what he was told he couldn’t have. I hoped he figured it out. I wasn’t going to fight him anymore.

  He was on the phone when I stepped through the office door.

  “Yeah, that’s the place. The usual package.”

  He eyed me as he listened to whoever was on the other end of the call and then disconnected without a goodbye. I always hated when they did that on television shows. It seemed so rude. He paced back and forth, coiled energy emanating off him, graceful and dangerous as a caged predator. It was unnerving and sexy as hell.

  “Quit. You’re making me dizzy.”

  And by dizzy, of course, I meant, he was making me want to fling myself into him like he was the damn ocean. Sex was never going to be a problem for us, that was for sure.

  “Who was that on the phone?”

  He stopped pacing for a minute and then started up again, slower. He was going to make me embarrass myself if he didn’t stop. “Tim. He’s putting surveillance on that last tattoo shop.”

  “The usual package, huh? Your agent speak is so sexy. It makes it sound like they’re getting the fancy floor mats and undercoating.”

  I could see he was trying not to smile. He was mad and he wanted to stay mad. It probably made it easier for him. I should know, I’d been pulling that trick for years.

  The computer on the desk beeped. Seth pulled up the email that had come in.

  “Boyd sent over the full results on the three guys you picked from the DMV photos. Two don’t look likely but the third could be our guy. She’s sent over uniforms to interview him. Mark Ingalls.”

  I shivered. We’d been stalled unraveling the knot for so long and feeling it come loose scared and excited me.

  “Hey, Sunshine, you okay?”

  I nodded, not trusting my voice. The look of concern on his face hurt. I didn’t want him to be worried. I wanted to lie down and sleep for a year when this was all over, Mark Ingalls, or whoever the bad guy was, tried and in prison. I was tired of being on alert.

  “Do you mind if I bail on you and lie down for a bit?”

  He nodded. “I got this under control. A nap will do you some good.”

  I wasn’t the only one who needed some real sleep. He looked like he’d been awake for decades.

  “What about you?”

  “Well, and not that I don’t appreciate the offer, but I don’t think that cot’s big enough for the both of us. Even if you are a slip of a thing, darlin’.”

  His John Wayne impression had gotten better since I’d heard it last. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to put me at ease or himself, but I figured I could do my part. Him making innuendo and me insulting his manhood. Good times.

  “But you’re a little slip of a thing too, aren’t you, sweet cheeks?” I let my eyes drift down to the front of his pants. Slowly and deliberately so there was no question of my meaning. “And it wasn’t an invitation. It was a concern for your sleeping habits and whether the lack of sleep was going to cause you to get us both killed zooming along on that deathtrap of yours.”

  He clutched his hands to his chest dramatically and rocked back on the heels of his boots. “Ouch. Straight to the heart, Sunshine.”

  I settled my eyes on his crotch again. “That wasn’t where I was aiming.” Content that I had gotten in the last word, I turned and headed toward the back closet where the temporary bed was.

  I laid down on the not terribly uncomfortable cot and tried not to notice that the pillow smelled like Seth’s manly shampoo. Or how comforting the smell of him was. He’d been out of my life for years with the rare holiday appearance and yet he’d slipped into a spot I hadn’t even known I’d been holding for him. And that was a lie. I’d fought against myself, hadn’t wanted to hold a spot for him. Friend or foe, lover or not. It had scared me. Funny how all the stupid things I’d been afraid of had vanished after someone tried to kill me. I dropped into sleep quickly and dreamed of faceless men with tattoos chasing us through a burning house that had hundreds of doors, none of which would open.

  I woke up in Seth’s arms. He was shaking me, and the room was filled with smoke.

  “Jesus, Willa, wake up!”

  I was completely confused. It made no sense. How could I have fallen asleep in the house? We were running. Looking around, I saw the cinder block walls of the storage room. We were at the motorcycle garage. It had been a dream. Except the fire. I coughed. That was obviously real. I stumbled up from the cot, tripping into Seth.

  “You scared the shit out of me. I thought you were dead.”

  I bent over coughing as he tugged me out of the storage room. The office air was cleaner. Or the area was bigger so it hadn’t filled as quickly. Either way, it was easier to breathe. My coughing fit died down. He was pale. Fear or the smoke had taken a toll on him. I saw the sluggish look to his eyes and the desk chair turned over on the floor. He’d clearly nodded off looking at the computer. The main room started to get hazy, the smoke getting heavier.

  “We’ve got to get out of here.”

  He looked at me, genuinely afraid. “The door’s blocked.”

  “Come again? The door’s the only way out?”

  He shook his head, looking over to the high, narrow window on the back wall. My eyes widened. Our options were burn to death or take a two-story fall onto pavement? I hated both options.

  I looked at the window and shook my head. “No way. No! The fire department’s on the way. The building is cinder block. It’ll hold off the fire long enough. And they’ll put out the fire before it gets up here. We’ll wait it out. I refuse to die here.”

  “Will, the smoke will kill us before they get the fire out. I’ll boost you out the window and hold onto you. That way it’s barely a one-floor drop. You can do it.”

  “We won’t fit. It’s too narrow.”

  “You’ll fit. Just barely but you’ll make it.”

  He outweighed me by seventy pounds of solid muscle. Even if I fit, there was no way he’d get through it. Not even if he broke the glass out. And he knew that. He was planning to drop me out the window knowing he was still trapped.

  “NO! I’m not leaving you in here.”

  “Please, baby, please. This is the only chance we have. Once you’re out you can get the door open. You’ll be saving me by going.”

  He moved away from me and began dragging the desk over to the wall under the window. Without a word, I joined him in pushing it across the room. He climbed up on it and pushed the louvered window open. The cool fall air rushed in, clearing the smoke a bit. It wouldn’t be long before even that little bit of fresh air was gone. I had barely noticed the temperature in the room jacking up. The fire must have been raging before Seth woke up. We were out of time. Me going out the window was the only chance we had.

  He motioned for me to climb up beside him. When we were face to face again he wrapped his arms around me. His mouth was right by my ear so when he spoke it was like he was inside my head.

  “Listen to me, Sunshine. All that shit I said, everything I’ve done … I’m sorry. So sorry. I lo—”

  I pulled away from him. “Stop. We’re not dying tonight.”

  He looked like he wanted to argue with me, but I set my jaw. I wasn’t accepting any deathbed confessions.

  He nodded. “I’ll lean out as far as I can to give you a shorter drop. You can do this, Will. Just make sure when you land you don’t go over onto your back. You can’t risk hitting your head.”

  I
nodded. Me agreeing to his plan was probably freaking him out more than the idea of dying. He’d never close his case. That asshole would get away with it all. Killing Joe Reagan, burning the Horowitzes’ house, trying to knife me. He’d get away with killing us. Not a chance in hell I was letting that happen.

  “I’m ready.”

  He smiled at me. “That’s my girl.”

  He boosted me up. I grabbed the frame of the window and wedged my body through the opening while Seth held me tightly. I shimmied out the building slowly, the metal digging into my ribs. I pivoted slightly so I could face him, wrapping my hand around the frame. I had to get angled down to the ground but my ass was stuck on the bottom of the window.

  “You have to push me. I’m caught on the window.”

  He tightened his grip on my arm and planted the heel of his palm against my hip. I kept my eyes locked on his as he shoved me free. He grabbed my wrist just as I started to lose my grip on the narrow ledge.

  “I got you. I’m not letting go until you’re ready.”

  My muscles burned. I was exhausted and drenched in sweat. It had to be even worse for him, holding all my weight. I let go of the ledge, grateful that the metal wasn’t biting into my hand anymore. This was the hard part. Seth leaned out the window, dangling me above the ground. I looked down. I could barely see the pavement in the hazy dark. The blood was a loud thump in my ears but I could hear the sirens flying toward us on the parkway.

  “Hey, Sunshine.”

  I looked back up at him, the angle making my neck ache.

  “You’re the biggest badass I know. This is nothing. A couple feet.” He was lying. It was scary as hell. And at least fifteen feet. The sweat made his hold on my arms slick and I started to slip out of his grasp, my wrists feeling like they were coming apart.

  “Let go.”

  He shook his head. The effort of holding my dead weight made the cords in his neck stand out. I imagined I could see the vein in his neck throbbing. I couldn’t. The smoke was now pouring out of the window. I had to go.

  “We’re out of time! Drop me.”

  He still held me. I knew he didn’t want to let go so I pulled down and away from him hard.

  And fell.

  Chapter

  22

  Slamming into the ground jarred every bone, feeling like they were all out of place at once, and I barely managed to stick the landing. I tried to hit on the balls of my feet, old cheerleading training kicking in years too late, so I didn’t break my ankles. I ended up toppling over and hitting my butt. Thank god that was well padded. I scraped the hell out of my elbow, but when I assessed my body I didn’t feel any broken bones.

  The sirens were so loud at that point it was almost deafening. I could see the red lights bouncing off the walls. I got up and wobbled, tripping over my own feet a bit, and ran to the side of the building. The stairs shook alarmingly as I pounded up them. I got to the landing and saw that there was a steering wheel lock braced along the back railing and jammed under the handle. It would turn but the door was wedged shut. I could hear Seth kicking the door from the inside.

  I slammed my hands against the door in frustration.

  “Stay by the window, Seth!”

  I had no idea if he heard me over the booming blows he was delivering. I needed a hammer or axe or something. I turned and almost tumbled face first down the stairs in my rush. I hit the alley and almost tripped again. The length of the building was no more than fifty feet, but I felt like I couldn’t close the distance. Panic was sending tremors throughout my body. I could feel every limb tingling and my heart thumped like a bass line. It felt too big for my chest and I knew I had to pace my breathing so I didn’t hyperventilate. I had to get something to get Seth out. I skidded to a stop at the first truck.

  “The door’s blocked. Axe!”

  I sucked in air that felt like acid and it practically buckled my legs knowing that Seth was running out of air.

  “Are you hurt, ma’am?”

  A firefighter put his hand on my back. I worried he hadn’t made out what I said. It had made sense to my ears but I had no idea what came out of my mouth. I needed some authority I sure wasn’t feeling to get some action.

  “I’m an LEO. The door is deliberately jammed shut and my partner is trapped inside. Bring an axe. NOW!” My don’t fuck with me cop voice had kicked in.

  He grabbed an axe from the equipment on the truck and followed me. He saw the stairs just as I pointed and pushed past me. I should have been impressed how he’d managed to outpace me in all his gear, but I was truly terrified he wasn’t going to get Seth out in time. My footsteps had been loud when I’d run up the stairs but his were thunderous. I saw the first blow of the axe before I passed the stairs to turn the corner and look up at the window. I couldn’t see Seth.

  “SETH!”

  I had lost track of how much time had passed since he’d woken me up. I developed tunnel vision. All I saw was that window and the smoke rushing out of it. I willed myself to not invent Seth at the window when he was the only thing I wanted to see. Screaming his name over and over so loudly, I eventually felt something give in my throat. His name was just a hoarse wail after that. I felt someone’s arms go around me, trying to pull me away from the building.

  “Ma’am, we need to check you out.”

  “No. Seth is in there. I’m not leaving without him.”

  The smoke and the screaming had robbed me of any semblance of voice and what came out was just a croaky garble.

  I tried to shake off the hands holding me but I was bodily picked up. I struggled as hard as I could, all my strength gone. I sobbed into the shoulder of whoever carried me. I heard shouting all around me but it was far away. I was laid down and felt someone working on me. An oxygen mask slipped over my face, pressing into and slipping around the greasy soot that coated my skin. I heard someone asking me questions, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was Seth.

  Medical jargon was flying all around my head. Then my ears picked up a beautiful sound.

  “Male, early thirties, smoke inhalation. No burns. Female, mid-twenties, shock, smoke inhalation.”

  He wasn’t dead. They got him out. He was safe. I blinked, trying to clear my vision, but my eyes were so irritated from the smoke and crying that it was hard to keep them open. I pushed the oxygen mask away and my hand was grabbed.

  “Ma’am, you need to leave that on.”

  I mustered my strength and pushed it off again. “Seth?”

  I could barely make out the sound of my own voice in the commotion. The water roaring out of the hoses, people shouting out instructions, the equipment inside the trucks squawking and squealing.

  “She’s trying to say something.”

  “Seth?” The pain flared raw in my throat.

  “The man? That’s Seth? He’s fine. Just rest while we look you over.” The female EMT had a sweet but firm voice and tried to replace the oxygen

  I shook my head, preventing her from getting it back on. “I need to see him.”

  “Let me just take care of you.”

  “Now.”

  “He’s fine. I promise.”

  I grabbed her hand and stilled it. “It can’t wait.”

  “You’re not going to let me finish checking you out until you see for yourself, are you?”

  I shook my head and tried to smile at her. I could only imagine what it ended up looking like, but she gave a little chuckle so I assumed it wasn’t too monstrous. I felt the gurney bumping over the gravel and ruts of the parking lot.

  The back of the gurney came up enough that I wasn’t flat on my back anymore. That simple change helped clear the fuzziness in my head. My vision started to clear a bit too. I could make out the back of the ambulance, its doors opening and the lights inside shining out onto the dark ground. I could almost make out the features of the other E
MT gathering equipment in the back but the bright lights behind him obscured more than revealed.

  I pulled off the mask for the last time. “I don’t need this. I’m fine. Water?”

  A bottle of cold water was pressed into my hands. They shook as I tried to take the cap off, not recognizing it had already been opened for me. Some splashed out on my arms and the cold woke me up almost completely. I brought the bottle to my lips carefully, taking a small sip. The last thing I wanted to do was throw up.

  “Good. Little sips. Your friend is still getting checked out. I know he was in there longer than you and took in more smoke.”

  I took another tiny sip. “He saved me. Put me out the window and eased me down.”

  The water had soothed my throat enough that talking didn’t feel like swallowing razor blades, but my voice was well and truly trashed. I sounded like I had smoked two packs of cigarettes every day for forty years. And then gargled rusty barbed wire.

  “Oh yeah? I heard you saved him right back. You both sound pretty awesome, if you ask me.”

  “Can I see him now?”

  “Can I stop you?”

  “Hey, Sunshine, nice dismount.”

  He was sweaty and covered in greasy soot but he was alive. That was all I cared about. I tried to get up to go to him but was gently pressed back down onto the gurney.

  “Stay put. I still need to check you out. Smoke inhalation can be tricky.”

  I couldn’t take my eyes off his face. He was alive. I scanned him for any burns or injury. He was dirty and his shirt was torn but he looked perfect.

  “Her name is Willa. And, yes, she’s always this much trouble.”

  The EMT leaned down to check my pulse. Her nametag read K. Barnes. “Well, your pulse is a bit elevated but considering the circumstances I’m not worried.”

  The relief on Seth’s face made me realize he was only worried about me. The weight of that hit me.

  “You put me out that window thinking it was the last time you were going to see me. That’s why you tried—”

  “It’s fine, Will. We made it.”