Keeping My Pack

by Lane Whitt

  Tristan comes back quickly with the toys and hands them over. He pats my shoulder and stands aside for me, the others doing the same. I’m getting more looks of sympathy and good luck then I did when I used to go off to war. And here we men think women are dramatic, I think as I roll my eyes and move toward the door.

  Kitten doesn’t move as I enter the room and close the door behind me. She’s found a cleared out room and is sitting indian style in front of a massive marble fireplace that is even taller than me. It’s unlit, so I have to wonder if she’s still seeing the flames she was staring at back at the camp. She’s slumped forward, as if she’s got the weight of the world on her shoulders.

  I take a seat next to her and lean back on my hands, my legs stretched out in front of me. I keep the bear and AJ behind me for now and just stare in front of me like she’s doing. I’ll give her time and let her speak when she wants to.

  I don’t know how much time passes, but she finally talks. “You didn’t have to come in here.” She says in a whisper.

  “I wanted to,” I reply.

  It’s a few minutes before she speaks again. “I don’t know what to do. Maybe we should just go home.”

  “Don’t give up now, Little one. We only just got here.” I tell her.

  Kitten turns her head to face me, to my relief, she isn’t crying. “And so far I have choked a man and sobbed in front of people who have it worse than me.”

  Where did the ever-optimistic Kitten go? “You’ve defended your mates and showed those people out there that you care. You could’ve done worse.” I shrug a shoulder.

  “Yeah.” She sighs, staring at the empty fireplace again. Okay, time to bring out the big guns.

  I reach back and bring out her ugly ass bear, sitting it in front of her. She looks down at Noah and then to me with questioning eyes. “Tell me why you wanted that bear,” I demand, my voice intentionally going hard.

  Her small fingers trace over the stitches Kellan gave him. “Because he was forgotten. No one else would have picked him and taken him home.” She tells me.

  “Right. Those people out there, and even the ones you met at the party, are just like Noah. They need someone to remember them, someone to care about them, someone to give them a home and a purpose.” I explain.

  Kitten shakes her head. “It’s not as simple this time. I can’t just pick them up and carry them home. None of these people see what’s wrong with this situation. Not the ones in the woods or the ones at the party. Why try to change things when they all just want to go on living the way they are? Maybe I’m the problem, not them.”

  I wince at the defeated tone in her voice. “Those people out there aren’t happy, Kitten. Neither were the ones at the party. They live the way they do because it’s what they know, it’s the way it’s always been done, they don’t know any different.”

  I pull AJ out from behind my back and sit him next to Noah. “Ever since you picked him up off that shelf, AJ has represented my future, in a way. I don’t know if kids are possible for us or not, and if we’ll ever have any. But…he’s my future with you. A promise of something more in this life. That’s why, Kitten.”

  “Why what?” She asks, her green eyes now focused on me and sparkling with an intelligence that tells me she knows, but she wants to hear it.

  “You keep trying because the future deserves better,” I tell her and lean down to kiss the top of her head. I get to my feet and head for the door, giving her space with that thought. I look back at her as I’m leaving the room and smile as she picks up AJ and brings him to her chest, petting his furry head. I can’t help but think that the fate of so many people landing on the shoulders of that tiny woman was the best thing that could have happened to us all. Here I was, going through life trying not to care about anyone other than my brothers, and this woman, this amazing woman, cares so deeply for those around her that she can hardly bear it. Yes, our future could not be in better hands.

  The men openly stare at me as I close the door behind me, letting me know they heard every word of our conversation. I don’t mind; it’s better that they did so I don’t have to repeat it. Saying those things to Kitten is one thing, to a bunch of me, well, that’s another.

  “You didn’t convince her to come out,” Logan states the obvious.

  I shake my head. “No, she’ll be fine once she steps from that room. I won’t force her to do it before she’s ready.”

  “She does like time to process.” Finn nods in approval.

  “I’ll go see what I can make for Kitten in the kitchen. I don’t know what the rest of us are having, but I want her to eat, and she’ll only eat my food.” Tristan says with a smirk. He loves that fact way too much. I never claimed my brothers weren’t a bunch of crazy fuckers.

  Kitten

  I tuck AJ and Noah under my arm and head for the door. I owe the guys an apology for walking off, and a thank you to Ash for saying just the right thing.

  “Sorry guys,” I say with a sheepish smile as I soon as I see them sitting and standing outside in the hallway.

  “There’s nothing to apologize for. You just needed a minute and maybe a pep talk. Which by the way, is probably Ash’s first ever, you should feel honored.” Tristan jokes, his soothing voice just the balm I needed.

  “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I think we’ve dealt with enough shit for one day. What do you say we go up and check out our rooms, find somewhere to just chill for the night?” Logan throws out.

  “That might be a good idea. I’ll go down and see how everyone is settling in and make sure everyone has eaten. I’ll bring us back some food while I’m at it.” Remy agrees.

  “It’s Christmas Eve; we can probably find a good holiday movie to watch,” Finn suggests.

  “In that case, I’ll go get the food, and hunt around for some movie snacks too. I need to make something Kitten will eat anyway.” Tristan chimes in.

  “Alright, here’s the plan.” Remy starts. “I’ll go check on everyone and tell Albert to handle anything that comes up tonight and tomorrow. Kelan, you go and bring Michael up to our rooms. Tristan, figure out the food for us tonight and make sure the house enough for everyone tomorrow, if not, send someone. Logan, find us a place to enjoy a film where we’ll all be comfortable. We might want to look into the sleeping arrangements for later. Everyone else head on up to our floor, I’ll be back.”

  There’s a chorus of mock ‘yes, Sirs’ and non-mocking okays as the guys who need to follow after Remy toward the stairs. The rest of us follow after Logan, who seems to know where he’s headed. Which makes sense since he’s been in contact with people here to get the rooms organized for us.

  I’m not surprised at all to learn that the entire top floor was reserved for the Royal family only, but I was surprised to learn that there were guards stationed on the platform between the floor below it and our floor. Their orders are to kill anyone who attempts to enter who is not part of the Royal family. Even Albert isn’t allowed up here. The only exception is for house staff, and they are picked very carefully, I’m told. I feel like maybe someone should have told me this way before now. What if I would’ve invited someone up there? Well, I guess I can see their point in not mentioning it, who would I invite?

  Logan opens one door after the other, peeking inside to see which is which. I peek too and see that each room is painted, and the bigger furniture like dressers and beds have delivered, and clothes are hanging neatly in some closets, but nothing has been put together yet. Boxes are neatly stacked, and nothing stands out as messy, but there’s still a lot to be done before bedtime.

  The guys continue down the hall where there’s a tall archway at the end of it, while I fall behind, being nosey. I close the last door before the open arch and frown. I still don’t know which room is mine, or Mikey’s for that matter. I don’t really care about mine, as I’ll probably sleep with one of the guys, but Mikey will need to get to bed before we do.

  “Hey, Logan!” I call into the large
room. Impressed with the sheer size of it. The big red couch seems to have made it from the old house, and even that looks small in here. The only other piece of furniture is a flat screen tv mounted on the wall. Though it looks as if there are built-in bookcases at the other end. The room is painted a deep purple, which goes well with the gold features throughout the room, like the big chandelier with crystals and a golden I hanging from the ceiling.

  “What’s up, Girl?” He calls back.

  “I couldn’t tell which room was Mikey’s. He’ll be needing to get to bed soon, so we should probably get it situated enough for him to sleep there.”

  I follow after him as work our way back down the hall. There are more rooms than we could ever need on this floor, but it looks like Logan has some of them set up as hobby rooms for some of the guys. Like a studio for Reed, and a room full of fabrics for himself. There’s also bathrooms and another big open room at the other end of the hall.

  “Huh, I wonder why they put his room as far away from ours as they could.” Logan questions as he opens the last door on the right.

  “Because the spare rooms are for own children, so they stuck him on the end like he’s like important,” I say with a disappointed sigh. The gesture is evident, even if I don’t approve and think it’s mean.

  “Yeah,” Logan says with a shake of his head. “You’re most likely right. Don’t worry, I’ll move his room as soon as I can. Maybe we can crash in the family room down there for tonight.”

  “That sounds nice; I’d like that. Although I don’t know if Mikey will agree once he sees you got him a racecar bed.” I tell him, smiling at the red and blue plastic shaped like a car leaning against the wall.

  Logan shrugs, smiling at it too. “It’s kind of tacky, but it was too fun to pass up. If he doesn’t like it, I can get him a new one.”

  I walk over and hug him tightly. “I’m sure he’ll love it. Thank you for being so thoughtful.” He kisses me lightly on my lips, which quickly turns into a heated make out session. Even Logan’s tongue is fun.

  “Child eyes are present.” Remy coughs as he and the rest of the guys make it up the stairs with Mikey in tow.

  I pull away from Logan and wipe at my now swollen lips. He just winks at me before going to help Tristan with the bags and plates of food he and Kellan carry. I do the same, taking two giant bowls of popcorn off of Kellan’s hands.

  Finn plays the movie he found about Christmas ghosts as Ash and Logan leave to collect blankets and pillows. I munch away on a sub sandwich Tristan prepared for me and the other lounge around with their own snacks and food, settling in. I fell asleep on Ash’s chest long before I found out what the ghost of Christmas future wanted.

  Christmas day was fun and relaxed as the ten of us choose to stay on our floor, leaving all worries and problems behind for the day. Mikey had woken up first, spotting the presents Logan had wrapped and brought out for him. All of them were his, much to his delight. He got Legos, an art set with markers and colored pencils, a heavy winter jacket with a hat and gloves set, a remote-controlled airplane, his movie and a few other toys. Logan had said that he and Jace had actually gotten more things for him, but they decided that Mikey would be more than happy with they gave him, and they took the rest down last night for the few children in the pack that didn’t have any presents. When I found this out, I was so proud of my guys and their charitable hearts. They also told me that there were two pre-teens that they had nothing for, since all of Mikey’s presents were for someone younger, so I offered to let some of my paintball gear go that Tristan had gotten me for my birthday. I had, of course, asked Tristan about it first, but he said it was no big deal and we could get more before we decided to play again.

  As for the guys and myself, we had talked about it a while ago, and since I didn’t really care about Christmas and getting presents, and with the hassle of having to move, we didn’t exchange gifts. I already had everything I wanted, and that was my mates. Jace had also purchased new vehicles for most of the guys since their old ones were either totaled or not made for the snowy mountain weather, so we counted those as gifts too, thought they won’t be here until after the new year. I thought it was gift enough to spend the morning and afternoon watching Mikey play with his toys and cuddling up my guys with soft blankets and hot chocolate.

  By the afternoon, though, Logan was impatient and wanted to get started on the rooms. I helped where I could, but the guys were better equipped for the heavy lifting while I helped make beds and unpack boxes. I especially helped in Logan’s room where I had worked with him on the design. His walls were painted a dark gray, which had unsettled him a bit at first, but once we got the blue sapphire, silk bedding and pillows on his round bed, he came around to seeing the bigger picture. The three main colors were gray, blue and just a touch of white, like with the accent rug and the frame for the tall mirror to hang on the wall.

  Logan has said that my room at the old house was atrocious and looked like a tween threw up in there, so he had chosen a different route for me. He said it was Moroccan theme, with gauzy tapestries hanging on the walls and from my new platform canopy bed, with matching low nightstands on both sides. Because I didn’t have a favorite color, he went with gold and gemstone colors like ruby, jade, and sapphire. When we were done, it seemed like stepping into a whole new world. I absolutely loved it. Mikey’s room was moved closer to ours, though we left a few room between us so we wouldn’t wake him with certain bedroom activities. His walls were supposed to be blue, but Tristan had given him his original room, so his walls were now bright red, a color he was pretty happy with. Tristan waved away Logan’s offer of painting his new walls, stating that white walls for perfectly fine for him, his bedroom décor was all red anyway, so the white offset it now, making it stand out more.

  It was later that night that I found Logan sitting on his bed, looking forlornly out the window.

  “Hey. You okay?” I ask, taking a tentative step into the room.

  Logan turns me with his trademark smirk. “And if I said no?”

  I frown and walk over to sit beside him. “Well, then I’d have to try and fix it.”

  “You don’t even know what it is that needs to be fixed.” He replies.

  “True.” I chew my lip, thinking over the day and wondering what could be wrong. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I don’t think. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see he has gotten started on his music wall. Logan has a mess of records, cd’s and other stuff, so the idea was to fill the wall to wall shelving with them.

  “You started without me.” I point out, gesturing to the shelf.

  “Yeah, but only the top shelves you can’t reach, Shorty.” He jokes. “Want to listen to something?” He asks but doesn’t wait for an answer.

  Logan

  I need a song, any song. What song do you play when you want your girlfriend to bite you and drink your blood? Do people still play music when they…? For fucks sake, Logan, get it together!

  I pull in a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds. I flip through my collection of CD’s and decide on a mixed one that I had Finn burn for me a while ago. If I wasn’t a total dumbass, I wouldn’t have forgotten my phone in the other room and could use the playlist on the iPhone dock. Seriously, man, this isn’t your first time with a girl.

  I smirk at the stereo as the first song starts to play. I release the air from my lungs as the music starts to soothe over me. Yes, music and Kitten. It’s a perfect combination. I turn the volume up a little and let Born tell Kitten just how I feel about her in their song ‘Electric Love.'

  I turn and look at the gorgeous girl sitting on my bed peering at me curiously like I’m a puzzle she can’t figure out. She sees me looking her way and a soft smile forms on her lips, and her eyes look quietly excited. She couldn’t be more stunning if she tried.

  I extend my hand in invitation to her, and the beautiful creature doesn’t hesitate to accept it. I pull her slim body into mine and wrap my arms around her. My hips
sway from side to side, and I feel her inhale my scent. I smile down into her hair as she makes a contented little sound. I wonder if she even knows she does that. I could stay here, just like this, with her, for the rest of my days. I really thought we had lost her for good. I didn’t think I’d ever get to hold her like this, to feel her in my arms, and the regret almost ate me alive.

  We’re both quiet, protected in our little bubble of bliss as we dance slowly to the music. As the song comes to an end, and James Bay, ‘Let it Go’ starts up, Kitten glides her slender hands up my back and over my shoulder blades, causing me to lose my breath.

  “Is this okay, Logan?” She asks in a whisper.

  I pull my head back to see her worried expression. “Everything is perfect, Crazy Girl.” I can’t help the grin that overtakes my face.

  Kitten’s eyes light up, and she graces me with one of her fan-fucking-tastic smiles. I hold her tighter to me and bring my lips to her jawline. “I didn’t know it could be like this,” I whisper.

  “Like what?” She whispers back.

  I release her but take up one of her hands with mine and step back to take a seat on the end of my bed. Without me having to ask, Kitten crawls into my lap, her slim arms going around my neck.

  I take a deep breath and try to explain the thoughts rolling around in my head. “You see, before I was turned, I was…let’s just call it…very open to female interaction.” Kitten’s face scrunches up cutely as she tries to understand what I mean by that. I mentally roll my eyes at myself for trying to explain to my mate why she is so special to me by beginning with ‘hey look, I used to be a man-whore.'

  “I had grown up in France, not a particularly important person in society myself, but my father was. Women weren’t much a challenge for me. Sex was more of a game to keep me entertained than anything. I’ll be honest with you, Kitten, there was a time, a long time, where I gave my body freely to any beautiful woman who wanted a go.” I reluctantly admit.