Let Me Go

by Michelle Lynn

  I’M NOT SURE I’ve completely processed Paige Kensington is Greg Thompson from The Raptures daughter. I mean, now that I think about all the stuff she’s told me, it makes sense.

  Did I fucking rave about their music? Tell Greg Thompson that he’s the reason I’m a guitarist? Hell yeah, but even if the knowledge of Paige’s father might still be processing, the fear in her eyes when she introduced me isn’t. All her demons make sense now.

  Even though I’m a college dropout, it didn’t take me long to remember all her odd behavior and weird statements since I told her we were coming to the museum. She thought I’d use her and I had to squash that belief before she grabs on to any reason to ruin what’s forming between us.

  “Did you take your mom’s name or something?” I whisper to her as her dad and bandmates sign autographs from the few fans left inside the museum. They closed twenty minutes ago, but the staff is making exceptions.

  “My birth certificate is Thompson, but to keep the anonymity I go by Kensington.” She shrugs and I get it.

  “Man, I feel like I don’t even know you.” I smirk and her eyes cast down to her feet.

  “Hey, that was a joke.” I dip down to meet her eyes.

  “I know. I’m sorry. This is my demon.” Her voice is so soft I only heard sorry and demon, but it was enough to connect the dots.

  “I figured.” Her face flies up to meet my eyes.

  “Paige. I’m not blind and your eyes speak for you when your mouth isn’t.”

  “Oh.” Her shoulders falter.

  “I’m with you for you, not your dad, or your connections.”

  “What a great first date.”

  I chuckle, yanking her into my arms.

  As I swing her body side to side, that fruity shampoo highjacks my senses. “It’s always a great date as long as you’re with me.”

  “When did you become so sweet?” She draws back and narrows her eyes.

  “The day you took the room.” I stare down at her, my thumb brushing along her red lip.

  “Yeah, okay.” She elongates the okay and I wish she believed me.

  I might not have known what she was about to erupt out of me when I offered that key, but she took more than that key from me and I don’t want any of it back.

  Bending down, I lower my voice. “I’ll prove it tonight.”

  A devilish glimmer lightens her eyes. “I can’t wait.”

  “So, kids. Let’s get the hell out of here.” Paige’s dad hits me on the shoulder and I remove my arms from his daughter.

  He hasn’t exactly been warm and fuzzy.

  “Dad, we’re going to drive back to Western.”

  “The hell you are.” Len comes over and wraps his arm around Paige’s shoulders.

  “We start tour tomorrow; we’re going to dinner. I won’t see you for a few months.” Paige glances back to me and I nod. Seriously, she’s asking me if it’s okay to hang out with The Raptures, is she insane?

  I may not be with Paige for her dad, but shit, her dad is fucking Greg Thompson! I’ll keep that excited me under wraps until she believes in me.

  “Ash,” he calls one of the bodyguards over. “I need you to call the hotel and book another room.” He eyes me. “Maybe two.”

  “You’ll be wasting your money on the other room, Dad.” Paige chimes in and I love her sassiness.

  “Is that true Rob, will I be?” He leans in close and all I breathe in is cigarettes and musky cologne.

  “No, sir, I can drive back to Western and pick Paige up in the morning.” Man, this guy is intimidating.

  He slaps my back again. “I’m kidding, kid. You need to loosen up.” Then he leans in. “We will have a chat before the night’s over though.”

  “Give me the time and I’m there.” He wraps his arm around my neck and manipulates me in a headlock. What are we, twelve?

  “You got a good one here, Paige. I think I’m going to like him.”

  We file into the elevator and Paige’s eyes find me. “Don’t feel special; my dad likes all my boyfriends. He’s more of a big brother than a dad.” Her face is dead serious, until I notice a crack of her lips.

  She flees the others and saunters over to my side. “Just kidding. Dad’s never met anyone.”

  “I probably never would have met you either. Paige doesn’t allow me out much.” He laughs with Len and Hank. “Who would think having a rock star for a father would embarrass your daughter?” They all shrug and from what I know they all have kids. Families in fact. Greg is the only one not married.

  Before I can process it all, we are rushed into a black limo out the back door, and shuffled through a kitchen as workers’ eyes follow us with their jaws open. Paige’s spying eyes keep waiting for a reaction. She’s testing me to find out how I react to the once in a lifetime experiences. I’m trying to tone down my excitement, but damn, it’s hard. I mean I’m going out to eat with The Raptures, like an actual private meal. This is not even close to having a backstage pass; I have three great musicians that I could be drilling with questions, but I don’t. If I start going crazy and let the bottled-up enthusiasm out, Paige is going to freak and maybe back pedal from me.

  Once we’re seated in a curtained-off room, I have no idea what restaurant we’re in until the menu gets handed to me. I open it up to find no prices for items I don’t recognize. Definitely a five-star restaurant.

  Paige leans in and whispers, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

  “Did you want me to go with you?”

  She shakes her head. “I think I can handle it, but thank you.”

  Paige exits the curtained-off room and when I swivel back around three pairs of eyes are glued on me. When a waiter begins to come in, Greg only lifts his hand and shakes his head. Is this how fearful it is when you get caught ratting out the mob? When they grab you from the street, tie you to a chair and hammer questions to you.

  Shit, my face is too pretty to get beat up.

  “So, Rob, you’re a guitarist?” We haven’t discussed that so I’m a little surprised he knows.

  “I am.”

  “And you like girls?” He raises his eyebrows at me.

  “I’m not gay, if that’s what you mean.” I dodge the question. I know where this is going and I should just lay my cards out. Tell her dad I’m a fuck up, but I’m selfishly taking his daughter until she comes to her senses.

  “Funny man,” Hank adds and the three laugh before flipping to serious.

  “I like you, kid. Hell, you’d make a great addition to our traveling crew. But for my daughter, I’m not so sure.” He shoots a sound through the side of his lips.

  “Mr. Thompson.” They burst out in laughter.

  “Call me Greg.” His arms cross on the table. Rings adorn almost each finger, tattoos peek out from under his jacket and another one snakes up his neck.

  “Greg.” I release a breath. “I’m not going to lie, I’m a jackass. If I was you and Paige was my daughter, I wouldn’t be happy seeing her with a guy like me. I’ve destroyed my life since I was seventeen.”

  “That’s your case?” Len laughs and I look to him, but Greg seems to like where I’m going. Maybe because we’re so similar except he’s on a much grandeur scale than myself.

  “Your daughter, she’s spectacular. She’s too beautiful of a person to be with an asshole like me.” At this point Greg leans back, patiently waiting for me to come to my point. I glance back to make sure Paige isn’t returning.

  “I can’t stay away from her because the idea of breaking her heart, her spirit, and her energy is like being strapped down on a bed of nails. I can’t and won’t do it. She’s more than I should ever be able to have, but that’s why I’ll prove my worth to her every damn day.”

  I lean back, bringing my beer to my lips, satisfied with my speech.

  “You really going to enroll back in school?” Greg cocks his eyebrow to me and I’m already nodding before I can verbalize.

  “Yes, I’ll have one year left.”

/>   “Greg, it’s only a boyfriend. He isn’t asking for her hand.” Len chimes in, knocking him with his shoulder.

  Greg nods. “That’s true. Break her heart and then we have a problem, got it?”

  “Got it.”

  “Then let’s have some fun. Relax, have fun. We’re easy going.” He raises his drink in the air and I follow doing an air clink.

  “Paige,” Hank calls out to her and my head instantly spins, my eyes roaming up her body. When I reach her eyes, I see they’re glossy.

  She quietly slips into the seat next to me and I move my hand on her thigh. Her hand covers mind and she squeezes.

  While the guys ramble orders to the waiter, I lean in. “You okay?”

  She nods and I can tell she’s containing her emotions.

  We share a smile and then her dad grabs her attention.

  “Paige, you still like goat cheese?”

  “Yeah, Dad,” she whispers, and her dad orders her something special.

  She inhales a deep breath. “Ask me again.”

  I tilt my head. “What? If you’re okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m perfect.” That small smile widens and seals my heart.

  She’s captured me and I don’t want to be thrown back.

  “DINNER WAS GREAT, Dad. Thank you.” My eyes veer over to Rob, waiting by the elevators for me. Once we finished dinner, we came back to the hotel and my dad carted me aside after paying for our room.

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart. So, he’s the real deal?” His eyes focus on mine, never shifting to Rob.

  I shrug my shoulders. “I like him, Dad.”

  He’s never been the typical you’re not going to sleep with anyone until you’re thirty, or let me meet your prom date and clean my rifle type of dad. I didn’t even go to my prom. I was supposed to, but my dad came into town the night before to toss a few condoms on my bed. When he didn’t stay, my mom fell into her depression and my prom night was spent at Granger Memorial Hospital.

  “Is that all?” His one eye rises at me and I’m not sure where his leave my princess alone act is erupting from.

  “Dad.” I shoo him again. It’s uncomfortable talking about my boyfriend.

  “Fine.” He rolls his eyes. “I get it; you don’t want to talk to your old man about love.” He opens his arms for me to step into. “Just be careful, sweetie,” he whispers in my ear and I grip him harder, committing his smell to memory again.

  “I will. Will I see you tomorrow morning?” I ask, knowing the answer before he speaks.

  “No, I leave early. You two sleep in, enjoy some room service.” He steps back holding my upper arms. “You still have those condoms?”

  I laugh and he smiles. “It’s covered, Dad,” I confirm just to ease his mind. Sometimes I swear he grabs buy one get one deals of condoms. When I first started college, he actually shipped them to me. I’d run down to the mail center eager that I received a package. When I’d open it up, it was filled with condoms. No need for the Health Department, just come on down to Paige’s room.

  “I love you, Paige. Bring the boy over when I get back from tour.” He gives me one more hug and kisses me on my cheek.

  I’m not sad and don’t feel abandoned by my dad. It’s been this way between us my whole life. Instead I smile as he stops in front of Rob and shakes his hand. A warm loving sensation comes over me watching him whispering something to Rob, portraying that I’ll protect my daughter stance.

  I’m confident my dad loves me; I’ve never doubted that. At the same time I resent him for continuing to live the life he wanted without really sacrificing anything for me. Over the years, I’ve accepted it. He was tricked into having a kid, and he accepted it gracefully. It’s not his fault that the woman who tricked him is beyond fucked up.

  My dad disappears through the elevator doors and Rob kicks off the wall, briskly walking to me. Not stopping until I’m in his arms, he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck. “Can I please have you now?”

  His voice is pained as though I’ve been stripped naked in front of him, holding him at arm’s length. It only surges electricity through my veins listening to his tortured tone.

  I flick the key from my back pocket and hold it up in the air. “Take me upstairs and find out.”

  He snatches the card from my hand and presses his palm on the small of my back, gesturing for us to go up to the elevators.

  After the elevator ride, we find our room. Rob scans the keycard and opens the door for me to enter first. I’ve stayed here before, the night of The Raptures concert when they got inducted. It’s nice and plush, just like the numerous hotels my dad’s brought me to.

  “Holy fuck,” Rob blurts behind me and the door shuts. His eyes ping across the king-size bed wrapped in a fluffy comforter and pillows. The drapes are open, casting the view of Cleveland and the Cuyahoga River. I plop down on one of the sofas and slip off my heels.

  “My feet are killing me.” I rest one up on the edge of the couch and gently rub my toes.

  “Are the heels worth it?” He sits down next to me on the edge of the seat as though he’s worried he’ll crinkle the fabric or something.

  “Relax.”

  He sits back, swinging my legs across his lap. “This room is nice, really nice.” His eyes survey every surface. “Don’t get me wrong, my parents do well, but not this well.”

  His hands kneed into my arch and my head falls back into the pillow. “It was always odd. Coming home after a trip with my dad. Going from this to a two-bedroom apartment with second-hand furniture.”

  “It must have been like Cinderella being knocked back down to peasant.” His hands continue to manipulate my feet in the best way.

  “Yeah. I guess I just got used to it. My dad used to get on my mom about the living conditions, even bought her a house once.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “Made the mistake of putting it in her name. It was sold within a month.” That’s when she was using. I think she secretly hoped my dad bought it for all of us, like we would be a family.

  “God, Paige. I’m sorry. You had such a crappy childhood.”

  I shrug my shoulders. “My time is up with her, but there’s Matty to consider. I’m not sure how much longer I can trust her with him.” I wiggle as his thumbs dig deep into my tissue.

  “Neither of his parents seems very fit. At least you had your dad.”

  “Yeah, but I can’t take care of Matty right now. I don’t have the money or the stability.” I have three years before my trust fund is released, but I’m not about to reveal that to Rob yet. Of course, he may very well assume I have one. I guess how could he not? But still, the pit of my stomach churns from keeping a secret.

  “I’ll help you figure something out. If you really want to take him, I’ll help.” My eyes must bug out because he chuckles.

  “He’s a pretty awesome kid,” he remarks, his fingers inching up past my ankles. His hands weave between my legs, parting them to make space for him.

  His eyes flick to desire, never leaving mine, while his fingers unbuckle my pants and he tugs the zipper down at crazy slow pace. A lump forms in my throat, holding back the tears from his transparent eyes, revealing another emotion today. There’s want in them, but it’s laced with tenderness, too.

  There’s a silent agreement like his bedroom this afternoon. Although part of me wishes he’d come out with it, fear is too great of a deterrent. That those three words that float around us on this plush couch in this elaborate décor room, could crush us.

  If this relationship doesn’t reach happily ever after, the crash will be like a plane falling from the sky at fifty thousand feet. So, even though I’d love to hear him tell me those three words, I’m just not ready yet. Then again, my heart is so invested, I’m not sure it matters.

  “Baby, you with me?” he asks, hooking his hands on either side of my pants.

  Coming back into the moment. “Hard not to b
e.” He doesn’t need to hear the ramblings of my odd thinking.

  “Good, because I want you to watch me.” He longingly stares up at me through his hooded eyes.

  My tongue snakes out of my mouth and licks my lips as I lift my hips so he can pull my jeans and panties down my legs.

  They fall to the ground and his eyes meet mine to make sure I’m following his directions. His hand slides up my bare leg and props it over the side of the couch.

  Every time he peeks up to double-check that I’m still watching, I get wetter. His arms snake up my chest, both hands plucking down the cups of my bra. When his thumbs circle around my nipple, I buck up and he kisses my stomach.

  “Almost,” he mumbles.

  My eyes are glued to his path down to my center. Not waiting, his tongue swirls around my clit and I force my eyes to stay open. The more tingles are shooting to my nerve endings, the more my eyelids lose the battle.

  Placing his hands on my thighs, he widens me up for him and his tongue flicks fast up and down, around my clit. I buck against his face and my hands dig into his spiky black strands.

  “Pull it.” He lifts his head for a second to make sure I heard his demand. He groans when I yank harder on his hair.

  As his mouth circles around my nub, spurring the nerve cells to frantically race around, his finger thrusts inside of me and I buck up. My fingers drop to the sides of the couch cushions as I clench harder to keep from coming. His mouth working magic, his hot breath tickles the wetness he’s induced. I wiggle under his firm hold on my thighs and his lapping tongue. Unable to get a better angle, his hands reach under my legs, and tugs my ass so his face is buried between my thighs.

  Not letting me go, he manipulates me until my orgasm reaches the highest point. I scream his name while little bursts of energy ping over and over again.

  Rob slowly brings me down like he always does, his finger inserting again as his thumb rubs my clit increasingly getting slower and slower until he leaves my body.

  After my breathing calms, he inches over me and claims my mouth, enabling me to taste myself. He sits back on his heels, bringing me up in his arms with him.