You and I

by Jacquelin Thomas

  Cherise turned around to gaze at Amanda. “What would you do?”

  “I don’t think I’d give up. I’d keep fighting until the very end, but I’d start with Eula Mae. She put this all in motion by threatening you, so go to her and try to talk this thing out.”

  “She hates me, Aunt Amanda.”

  She shrugged in nonchalance. “You still insist on speaking with her. Start there.”

  “I think Mama’s right,” Elle said.

  Jillian and Allura agreed.

  “I think someone needs to knock some sense into Steven,” Regis said. “Men can be so hardheaded at times.”

  All of the women agreed.

  “But we didn’t give up on them,” Regis continued. “Cherise, Laine put me through some stuff.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded. “I’ll have to share that story with you sometime. I didn’t think we were going to make it.”

  Carrie agreed. “Ray and I have a story like that, too. We had to come to a meeting of the hearts.”

  Kaitlin laughed. “Well, you all know that Matt and I had serious drama.”

  Cherise nodded. “We all thought you were dead. I had never seen a man grieve so much. It broke my heart to see Matt back then.”

  “But even after that, we almost didn’t get married.”

  “My life with Garrick has been nothing but loving and drama-free, thank the Lord,” Daisi said. “No story here.”

  Allura raised her hand and said, “Same here. I’m not complaining though. I like being drama-free and boring.”

  They laughed.

  The doorbell rang.

  “Are you expecting someone?” Ivy asked.

  “No,” Cherise responded, shaking her head.

  “I’ll see who it is,” Jillian said. She got up and went to answer the door.

  Cherise was shocked to hear Rebecca’s and Eula Mae’s voices.

  “What are they doing here?” Elle asked in a low voice.

  “I don’t have a clue,” Cherise responded.

  “We didn’t realize you would have company,” Rebecca said when they entered the den, “but maybe it’s good that you’re all here.”

  “Why is that?” Amanda asked. Her tone was cool.

  “Eula Mae is here to talk with Cherise, and I think that it’s a good idea that we’re all here.”

  “Why?” Eula Mae demanded. “Only Cherise needs to hear what I have to say. Although I’ve said all I need to say. I don’t know why you brought me here, Rebecca. It’s not going to change a thing.”

  Rebecca shook her head. “I don’t agree. We have two people who love each other and they have been ripped apart. It’s not right.”

  “I agree with that,” Amanda said.

  “Was it right to have my head cracked by a bunch of gangbangers?” Eula Mae uttered. “Was that right?”

  Her words cut Cherise like a knife.

  Jillian got up and made room for them to sit down.

  “Aunt Eula…Miss Eula Mae, I’m…you will never know how sorry I am and how much I regret what happened,” Cherise told her. “I don’t have any excuse for what I did, but I am really truly sorry. I tried to make sure that you got help.”

  Eula Mae glared at her. “I know that you weren’t the one who hit me, Cherise, but you were there in my house uninvited. I thank you for calling the paramedics, but they’re the ones who saved my life—not you.”

  “I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me.”

  Eula Mae did not respond.

  “Elle, could you do me a favor and get the pearls for Miss Eula Mae?” Cherise asked. “I was going to mail them to you, but since you’re here, I can give them to you now.”

  “Why are you staring at me like that, Rebecca?” Eula Mae demanded. “I didn’t do a thing except try and treat this girl like family. I thought the world of you, Cherise.”

  “She made a mistake. She was a child,” Amanda interjected. “Eula Mae, I had Cherise with me from that time until she left for college. She has made great strides to be a much better person. She has agonized for years over this—I didn’t know what was going on with her, but I always knew that there was something bothering her.”

  “None of that changes the fact that Cherise was one of the people who broke into my house that night. I was hit in the head with a bat by one of the boys with them. They left me for dead.”

  “But Cherise called 9-1-1,” Elle said. “The paramedics saved you, but so did Cherise, whether or not you want to admit it, Mrs. Stewart. If she hadn’t called them, you might have died without anyone realizing for days.”

  “And I suppose you think she should be pardoned, then.”

  “I’m so sorry, Miss Eula Mae,” Cherise kept saying. “I truly am.”

  Rebecca sent a sharp glance in her sister’s direction. “I know you’re angry, but how can you hurt your nephew like this?”

  The room was so quiet, you could literally hear a feather drop.

  Wringing her hands in resignation, Rebecca sighed heavily. “Eula Mae, it’s time for you to forgive.”

  Her sister didn’t respond.

  Cherise reached out, pulling Eula Mae to her feet. “I understand why it’s hard to forgive. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself for what happened that night.”

  The two women embraced each other tightly.

  Eula Mae took Cherise’s face in her hands. “You and Steven deserve to be happy. I’m sorry I tried to destroy that. If I’d ruined Steven’s happiness I don’t know that I could forgive myself.”

  “Mrs. Stewart, can we please start over? Would you please give me a chance to earn your forgiveness?”

  They just stood there holding onto each other.

  “Cherise, why are you still here?” Ivy asked after Eula Mae and Rebecca left the house. “You need to go to Steven.”

  “You might want to shower and do something with that hair first,” Jillian suggested.

  Laughing, she nodded.

  Cherise sent up a prayer of thanks as she showered and dressed to see Steven. It occurred to her that maybe she should give him a call before popping over there.

  She picked up the phone and dialed his cell.

  It went straight to voice mail.

  She called his office and was told that he was away.

  Cherise was getting frustrated. She tried his cell once more, and again it went to voice mail.

  “He’s not…” her voice died when she saw Steven standing in the middle of her den. Cherise glanced around, but there was no sign of her cousins or Aunt Amanda.

  “They all left,” Steven told her. “In a hurry. I tried to explain that they didn’t need to leave, but they insisted for some reason.”

  She smiled. “They wanted to give us some time alone.”

  Cherise sat down and so did Steven, only he chose the overstuffed chair instead of the sofa where she was sitting.

  “They really didn’t have to leave,” he said.

  She could tell that he was still very distant with her, so she said, “Steven, I understand totally why you’re upset with me and I don’t blame you. I did a terrible thing and then on top of that, I kept it a secret from you. I’ve apologized and I’ll do it again and again until you believe me. I love you and I want to make this work between us.”

  “I don’t hate you,” he told her. “You just …you took me by surprise. It’s like the woman I thought I knew so well, I didn’t know at all.”

  “Steven, have you ever done anything that you’re so ashamed of?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, what happened that night when we broke into your aunt’s house is my shame. I was so ashamed, I ran away from home—I couldn’t even face my mother. Your mother and your aunt came over earlier. Miss Eula and I talked and we’ve made peace. Why can’t you and I do the same?”

  Steven looked surprised. “They were over here?”

  She nodded. “You didn’t know?” Cherise had assumed that was why he was there to see her. “
If you had no idea that they came by, then why are you here?”

  “I brought some of the stuff you left over at my house and I came by to pick up my things.”

  Cherise stiffened in shock. “Oh.”

  “I’m glad you and my aunt made peace, but I still can’t get over the fact that you never once tried to come to me after you discovered she was the one you hurt.”

  “You keep acting like I picked up the bat and swung on her,” Cherise said, not bothering to hide the anger in her voice. “I didn’t do it, Steven. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid of losing you. Deep down, I really wanted to tell you. I did, but then you spouted off hatred for the people who hurt your aunt. Do you actually think I would come to you after that?”

  “I expected you to be honest, Cherise.”

  “How do you feel about me now?” she asked quietly.

  “I don’t know. Right now, I just don’t know. I didn’t come here to hurt you, Cherise.”

  She refused to look at him. “I know.”

  “Cherise…”

  Holding up her hand to stop him from saying more, she ran out of the room.

  Chapter 23

  Steven felt like kicking himself. He hadn’t meant to upset Cherise like this. He had come over because he wanted to see her and to pick up his things, but mostly he just wanted to look at her because he missed her.

  Hearing footsteps, he turned around.

  Cherise stood in the middle of the room, biting her bottom lip. When he moved toward her, she looked ready to bolt.

  “Cherise, I’m sorry if I upset you. It was not my intent.”

  She shrugged. “You can’t help the way you feel.”

  “I care about you, Cherise. Please don’t forget that.”

  “Don’t,” she said. “I really don’t want to hear it. I asked you just a few minutes ago how you felt about me and you didn’t know. Let’s just leave it at that. Just get your stuff and leave.”

  “I’m in an awkward position and I’m not sure what to do, Cherise.”

  “Why don’t you go talk to your aunt,” she told him. “I think that should clear up some things for you.”

  Cherise seemed deep in thought. Steven watched her for a moment before asking, “What are you thinking about?”

  “About how much I’m going to miss you. I thought you were the best thing to ever happen to me and now…you’re just a jerk.”

  “Excuse me?” he asked with a frown. “What did you just say?”

  “You’re a jerk,” Cherise repeated. “How dare you try to diminish what we’ve shared because of a childhood mistake?”

  She was getting angrier by the minute. “You have not always been the person you are now. You have flaws—big ones, Steven—but you don’t see me bolting out of your life. I’ve told you over and over to take me off that pedestal of perfection because it wasn’t me, but you wouldn’t listen. Now you’re disappointed and so you want nothing more to do with me. Go on and leave, because right now I can’t stand the sight of you.”

  He was floored by her words.

  Cherise was hurt and angry, so she was striking out at him. He wanted to comfort her. Hell, he wanted to make love to her.

  Steven loved her with all his heart, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell her so. From the pained expression on her face, it looked to Steven as if she needed to hear him declare his love.

  He couldn’t. Steven couldn’t, because every time he thought about loving Cherise, he felt a constant thread of guilt weaving itself through his body.

  “Please hurry up and leave,” she told him. “I want you out of here.”

  “Cherise, wait…”

  “Lock the door behind you,” Cherise said. “I can’t do this with you right now.”

  Wiping her tears from her face, Cherise stared out into the dark, starless night. How would she be able to survive without him? She loved him with her whole soul.

  Elle called her later that evening.

  “How are things going?” she asked.

  “They aren’t,” Cherise responded with a sob in her throat. “Steven doesn’t know how he feels about me.”

  “Did he tell you that?”

  “Yeah. He hasn’t spoken to his aunt yet, so he doesn’t know the whole story. The thing is, he should trust me or know me well enough to see the truth.” Cherise wiped away a tear. “I don’t need a man who will instantly believe the worst about me. I deserve much better than that.”

  Elle agreed. “Would you like me to contact everyone and cancel the wedding?”

  “N-Not yet,” she murmured. “Let me think about it. I’ll probably just do it myself…”

  “I’m so sorry, cousin. I thought Steven… Anyway, it’s his loss.”

  “Yeah, it is,” Cherise said. “Elle, could you call everyone and please, tell them I’m fine? I really just want some time alone.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “I just need to be by myself for a few days.”

  “You are going to come to Riverside, right?” Elle asked. “I don’t think you should be alone.”

  “Yes. I’ll be there. Mama’s already got her ticket, so she’ll be here tomorrow. I’m going to have her stay with Jazz.”

  “I love you, cousin.”

  “I love you, too, Elle. Thanks.”

  They hung up.

  Cherise curled in a fetal position, sobbing until no more tears would come. Then she got up and showered, pulled her wet hair into a ponytail and made her way downstairs, where she sat down in the den and watched television.

  Steven didn’t want her, but she would find a way to go on with her life.

  She thought about the star he’d named for her and she blinked rapidly to keep from crying.

  “I guess you weren’t the one after all,” she whispered.

  Steven walked into his parents’ house and said, “I heard you and Mom went to see Cherise.”

  “We did,” Eula Mae said. She sounded tired and looked like she’d been crying.

  “Are you okay?” Steven inquired.

  She nodded. “I guess Cherise told you what we talked about.”

  “She just said that you two made peace. That was it.”

  Eula Mae looked stunned. “She didn’t say anything else?”

  He frowned. “No, why?” Steven couldn’t figure out what else could there be. “Is there more?”

  “I just thought that she…” Eula Mae’s voice died.

  “What is it?” Steven asked.

  “Stevie, I need to tell you something,” Eula Mae said. “I hope that you won’t hate me when you find out what I’ve done. I never meant to hurt you.”

  “I could never hate you,” he told her, stroking her cheek. “Aunt Eula Mae, please tell me what’s going on.”

  “I told Cherise to call off the marriage. I told her that if she didn’t, I would tell you what happened. I’m so sorry.”

  He nodded in understanding. “Aunt Eula Mae, I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

  “I was wrong for the way that I treated Cherise and I told her so. I apologized to her. Son, she really is a lovely girl.”

  “Aunt Eula Mae…”

  She turned to face him. “Steven, if you want to marry her, then you need to get over there and make things right. I’m so sorry I messed up everything for you two. If you don’t get married, I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.”

  “It’s not your fault what happens between me and Cherise,” Steven said. “I messed this up by not believing in her. I knew that she wasn’t a bad person deep down, but it was just hard to fathom that she’d be a part of a group of people like the ones who hurt you.”

  “Your Uncle Jerome was once a Blood.”

  Steven’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Are you serious?”

  She nodded. “He was even shot once by a rival gang member—that was enough to get him to leave that lifestyle behind. My daddy used to tell us this all the time: you are not who they say you are, even though you did what
they say you did. I’d forgotten about that until now. Cherise is a good girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have a better understanding of why she works at that center. She doesn’t want them to make the mistake she made.”

  He nodded. “She says that all the time.”

  “I’m sorry, Steven.”

  “I don’t know if she’ll take me back after the way that I treated her,” he told Eula Mae. “I hurt her pretty bad.”

  “We never give up, right?”

  Steven smiled at her. “Right.”

  When he left the house, Steven considered going to see Cherise, but the hour was late and he wasn’t sure she would ever speak to him again. He decided to wait until tomorrow.

  He felt like a major heel.

  How could I treat the woman that I love like this? He prayed that Cherise would forgive him this time around.

  Chapter 24

  Steven pulled into the parking lot of the Darlene Sheppard Center and found an empty parking space near the front.

  As soon as he entered the building, he ran into Maxie Sheppard.

  She gave him a bright smile and said, “Hello, Steven. It’s good seeing you again.”

  “You, too,” he responded. “Maxie, do you have any idea where I can find Cherise?”

  “She’s in the pool area with some of the girls.”

  “Can I watch unobserved? I don’t want her to know I’m here. Not yet anyway,” he said.

  Maxie nodded. “Sure. Just go on upstairs to the observation room.”

  “Thanks, Maxie.”

  “No problem.”

  Cherise was sliding down in the water until she was fully submerged. Suddenly she started kicking and yelling for help.

  His initial thought was that she was drowning. Steven rushed through the double doors and jumped into the water without thinking. It occurred to him after he jumped in that she was an excellent swimmer.

  “Steven, what in the world are you doing?”

  “I thought…”

  The teens in the pool were trying hard to hide their laughter.

  “You were teaching them how to save someone who’s drowning,” he said sheepishly.