Kiss and Cry

by Ramona Lipson

  Adam glanced around the living room, “Are we alone?”

  “Yep, we are for now anyway. My parents don’t get back until after dinner time. Are you hungry?” I asked.

  “Starving,” he admitted. “I’ll get take-out, while you rest. What do you want?”

  “I don’t care. I’ll have whatever you’re in the mood for.”

  “Okay, I’ll be back in a few.”

  Thirty minutes rolled slowly by before Adam tapped lightly on the front door, “Come in!” I called out. He let himself in carrying two bags of McDonalds. My bag had a large fries, big mac, and a quarter pounder. “You can’t be serious, I must have some of your food,” I grinned. “You expect me to eat all this?”

  “That food is all yours. I have the exact same in my bag. You told me to get you whatever I was in the mood for, and that’s what I’m eating. The drinks are still in the car, I’ll be right back.” He returned with two chocolate milkshakes.

  I was taking up most of the chesterfield so Adam sat on the adjacent love seat. We ate every morsel of food and then started sipping our shakes staring passively at Ellen Degeneres on television, lost in our own thoughts.

  He nervously started picking at imaginary lint on his jeans. “You were really working on a triple axel when you hurt yourself?” His eyes shone with admiration as he waited for my answer.

  “Yes.”

  “That’s so hot,” he commented quietly. I could feel the intensity of his eyes boring into me. A tingle of excitement coursed through my body.

  “Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked. His eyes intense, as he stared into mine.

  “No, I don’t date,” I said casually.“My parents think dating is a distraction. Mom says there’s plenty of time for me to do that after I finish skating.”

  “That’s too bad,” he said under his breath,“but you’re not skating right now are you? You’ll be off the ice for several weeks.”

  “That’s true,” I confirmed.

  His finger touched my chin, lifting my face to his, “So you’ve never had a boyfriend?”

  “Never,” I admitted,fearing my answer would turn him off me.

  “Never kissed?”

  “Never,” I reassured.

  His eyes locked onto mine and he started inching his face towards mine angling it perfectly for my first kiss when I slipped my question,“Do you have a girlfriend?” I ventured. He paused causing me suspicion.

  “Truth?” he asked.

  “Please.” Even though, I was dreading it now.

  “I do, I don’t want to lie to you.”

  My shoulder’s dropped in disappointment, the despair from the days events were accumulating and swallowing me, “Then you should probably leave, she’s going to be wondering where you are.”

  The look of disappointment on his face spoke volumes, “Ya, you’re right. I better go.”

  “Thanks for taking me to the hospital,” I said. He got up taking the empty bags with him and left my house. It was the closest I ever got to my first kiss, but no matter how badly I wanted it, I would never want it to be with someone else's boyfriend.

  That Night

  I must have fallen asleep in front of the television because I woke up to the six o’clock news and my mother bursting through the door. She flew past me on her way to the kitchen to start dinner for dad who would be home minute. “We’ll talk about what happened to you today when your father gets home so you don’t have to repeat everything. Are you hungry? Where’s that boy that took you to the hospital?”

  “No, and I thought you were waiting for dad before we talked.” I half expected mom to come back with a sarcastic remark but she didn’t.

  I picked up my cell phone and started texting Tara while I waited for dinner.

  Dalia: U there?

  Tara: Ya, R U ok?

  Dalia: So far, I don’t have a fracture, but I still need an M.R.I 2 look 4 injury.

  Tara: Does that mean U can’t skate?

  Dalia: Ya, I might have torn or dislocated something.

  Tara: So U can’t compete next month?

  Dalia: No.

  Tara: Sucks ass! Is Adam still with U?

  Dalia: No he went home about an hour ago, We almost kissed.

  Tara: Get the fXXX out! What happened? Tell me everything!

  Dalia: He stayed with me @ the hospital & then he drove me home. We ate. He asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said no. He asked me if I was ever kissed. I said no. Then he looked like he was going 2 kiss me but like the stupid ass that I am I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He fessed up and said yes. So I told him he better leave. His girlfriend might B wondering where he is.

  Tara: Oh Dalia, I’m so sorry.

  Dalia: Not as sorry as I am. Part of me wishes I hadn’t asked him.

  Tara: Better 2 know, than find out later.

  Dalia: I guess. He was seriously impressed when I told him I was working on my triple axel. He said, ‘That’s so hot!’

  Tara: O.M.G! Dead Romantic! You’re skating is amazing! Do U want me 2 come over 2Night?

  Dalia: Sure, if U don’t mind listening 2 my parents bitch @ the dinner table!

  Tara: Great, I'm on my way.

  I called out to mom, “Tara’s coming over!”

  “Sure,” mom called back. It was always fine.

  Tara had her own spot at our dinner table, she was over that often. It was the only time I was able to spend with her outside of school hours, that my parents didn’t give me a hard time about.

  Tara was a complete dick magnet at school. The guys were always falling all over themselves trying to get dates and bootie calls with her. It would have been sickening if she wasn’t my best friend. We usually laughed about how guys would make idiots of themselves for her. What mattered to me was that no matter how much attention she received from boys, she didn’t have the EGO that went along with being a dick magnet. Tara was very modest and sincere.

  My parents liked her too for the most part. When she wasn’t here, they were always criticizing her interest in boys rather than doing something substantial with her life (With the exception of school).

  She was my complete opposite, and I loved her for that. I lived vicariously through her adventures with boys that I was never allowed to have. With Tara, you were better off asking, who hadn’t she dated or kissed, because the list would have been shorter than asking her who she had.

  I was still lying on the couch when dad came home letting Tara in. He pecked me on the forehead before making his way over to the dinner table. Tara had the decency my father didn’t to hand me my crutches before passing me and pulling out my chair for me, before taking her own. She never ceased to surprise me, that’s why she was my best friend.

  Normally I helped my mother set the dinner table, but I was temporarily released from my duties. I was starting to find being injured did have some perks.

  The other perk was the pain medicine dad picked up for me after dinner. Not only did it take the edge off of my pain but it was starting to make me see little green aliens that looked like Kazoo from the Flintstones all over my house. Tara told me not to mention the aliens to my mother or she would make me stop taking them, and they dulled the pain.

  Mom served us before beginning the conversation, “Okay, tell us what happened.”

  “You already know,” I snipped.

  “Details,” dad insisted.

  I rolled my eyes and started playing with the food on my dish. The McDonald’s spoiled my appetite, “It was the end of the session so I was tired. I shouldn’t have the triple axel but I did anyway. I threw my leg forward and felt a sharp pain on take-off. It hurt so bad I lost my breath. I used the boards to get off the ice and even managed to get to school. In homeroom my leg became harder to move. Adam, a guy who sits next to me caught me just before it gave out from under me. He insisted on taking me to the hospital.”

  Mom said, “I know the nurse practitioner spoke to me, but tell your dad, what happened at the hospital.”
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br />   “They took x-rays to determine if I had fracture. I was cleared, but not of torn ligaments or dislocations. The nurse practitioner said I’ll need an M.R.I to clear me from any bone or joint problems. She said if I skate before the M.R.I, I risk the chance of worsening my injury and permanently ending my skating career.”

  Mom gave dad a look, “You should tell Dalia what we decided.”

  “What YOU’VE decided,” he corrected. “Why do you always leave me with the dirty work?”

  Mom continued where dad didn’t want to go. She placed her elbows on the dinner table which in my household was a big no no and said, “Dalia, I’m sorry to be so harsh but you’re not getting any younger and you should already HAVE your triple axel. The girls in Europe are landing them at the ripe age of 14.”

  “Your mother is right,” dad agreed. “Even if you hadn’t injured yourself today, you can’t hold a candle to those other girls. Skating as a single skater in your case has become a waste of time,” dad finished. Wow there was no sparing feelings in this household.

  Very obviously rehearsed, mom continued where he left off, “So we’ve decided, that you’re only hope of winning an Olympic medal is if you go into pairs skating.”

  I was dumbfounded and angry at the cruel honesty of my parents. I hadn’t even began accepting the harsh reality that I was losing an entire skating season, and they had the audacity to tell me I’m not good enough to continue as a single skater injured or not, well that was just fucking great!

  I slammed my fork down on the table and looked to Tara for support. She gave me an ‘I’ve got this wink,’ and said to my parents, “Dalia needs a partner if she’s going to skate in pairs. That can’t be an easy find.” That was the best she could come up with?

  Mom grinned, “As a matter of fact, that’s been taken care of.”

  “How so?” I asked.

  “I heard from one of the other mothers at the arena that Ryan Kennedy has been looking for a partner for months now, so I called his mother.”

  “What happened to his last partner?” Tara injected.

  Mom shot her an irritated look, “Rumour has it that she got a concussion after hitting her head against the ice during a death spiral or something. All I really know is the last partner he had quit. I’m not sure how much truth is in that story. You know how the mothers like to sit and gossip. They’ve got absolutely nothing better to do.”

  Mom turned to me,”I’m not going to risk offending Mrs. Kennedy by asking her what really happened, it could ruin your chances of ever finding a partner.”

  “Do I get to make any decisions regarding my own future?”

  “Not when your mother and I are paying,” dad threatened.

  Frustrated more than feeling sad or angry, I imagined knocking all the dishes off the table and throwing a tantrum, but like always, I restrained myself. My parents never once mentioned the idea of pair skating in the past, which led me to believe they were being very serious.

  Tara said, “Mr. Middleton, since Dalia isn’t going to be skating for several weeks, I assume it’s okay for her to come to the Halloween dance with me?”

  Her question was followed by a tense silence. Tara had successfully put on the spot when dad answered, “Sure she can, Tara.”

  I stood from the table and Tara followed suit. Mom eyed me cautiously, “You better rest that leg of yours. We were going to introduce you to Ryan later next week. I’ll have to call his mother and push it back. She’s not going to be too impressed when she finds out you’ve been injured. This is going to set your practices back by weeks!”

  “You planned all of this BEFORE I was hurt didn’t you?” I accused.

  “Well, obviously,” mom answered. “This took a lot of planning. The only things we haven’t decided yet, are who’s going to coach you guys and which arena you’ll train at.”

  “You’ve already hit your plateau as a single skater Dalia, this is you’re only chance to make your dream of winning the Olympics come true,” dad encouraged.

  “Are you sure it’s not ‘your dream?’”

  I started hobbling away with Tara following closely behind. We escaped to the sanctuary of my room, throwing ourselves onto my bed. I reached for my iPod and put on Mirrors by Justin Timberlake, so my parents couldn’t hear our conversation over the smooth rhythm Justin always made. It wasn’t cool to like him, he was tres passé, so we kept him our dirty little secret.

  “A pair skater?” I said dramatically.

  “A pair skater,” Tara mimicked.

  “I don’t think I want to be a pair skater,” I thought out loud.

  “How come? Does it scare you?” she asked.

  “I just never considered it before,” I reasoned.

  “It’s not like you have a choice in the matter. You might as well take a shot at it, unless you choose to quit. Are you at the point of wanting to quit?”

  “I was contemplating it,” I confessed.

  “What’s stopping you?”

  “Nothing, I don’t know. I was considering it after the fall but I attributed it to frustration.”

  “Your parents could be right,” Tara said cautiously. “It will take you months just to get back to where you were before the injury. This injury is going to make you miss a years worth of competitions and you’re going to be a year older before you can even compete again.”

  “If you go into pairs,” she continued, “people’s expectations for you will lessen in the first year. You will get to skate with a GUY, which means you might actually be able to lay your virginal hands on a hot blooded male.”

  “Who might be gay,” I added.

  “Or who might not,” she argued.

  “I don’t want to think about it, let me tell you about Adam,” I said changing the subject. “When I went to the hospital, I wasn’t thinking about my future, I was taken just by being with Adam, until I found out he had a girlfriend that is. You have no idea how disappointed I was to find out he was taken. It’s the first time a seriously cute guy ever showed any interest in me.”

  “It won’t be the last,” Tara Reassured. “You’re never around guys for them to have a chance to show interest in you. Now that you can’t skate, maybe you WILL meet someone, the halloween dance is just around the corner! Your parents have no excuse to keep you from going.”

  “Do you think Adam will be there?”

  “Everyone who is anyone will be there. It’s the first dance of the year! The big question is, will Harper be with him?”

  “Who’s Harper? Sounds like an instrument.”

  “No, it’s Adam’s snobby girlfriend. I’ve seen them snogging together in the hallways on more than one occasion. Just the other day, I overheard her talking to Sierra in the bathroom. She was complaining to her about how he never makes time for her anymore. He’s always too busy with his basketball practice or schoolwork. I give it two weeks and they’ll be broken up. I’ve seen the way she drools over Carter.”

  “Who’s Carter?”

  “He’s Adam’s best friend.”

  “Is he cute?”

  “I’d suck his cock cute.”

  “Oh then he has to be cute,” I said sarcastically.

  “Adam almost kissed me,” I reminisced. I regretted ever having asked him about whether he was seeing anyone, “I shouldn’t have asked if he had a girlfriend,” I commented bitterly.

  “No, its good that you did,” argued Tara. “You don’t need your first kiss to be with a two timing asshole. It’s nice that he was honest with you. It says something for his character.”

  One Day Later

  Tara offered to take me to school which was a good thing, I didn’t think I should be driving if I was still seeing little green aliens after taking my pain pills.

  She arrived at my house fifteen minutes before we were expected to be in homeroom. She waited for me to hobble and swing to her car and then she floored the gas pedal all the way, tailgating anything and everything in front of her. The ride was so nerve wr
ecking, I found myself reaching for the break pedal on my side of the car trying to break for her. Even the aliens were scared.

  She dropped me off at the front of the school, preventing me from walking unnecessarily. We said we would meet back up at lunch. I was starting to feel anxious knowing I would be coming face to face with Adam again.

  Mrs. Uptite wasn’t in homeroom yet, my classmates could be heard all the way down the corridor. My eyes collided with Adams before locking on. Butterfly wings tickled my insides the way they did before big competitions. Breaking our stare, I worked my way towards my desk concentrating on each step.

  As I took my seat, I could feel his intense stare burning right through me. Instinctively drawn to face him, I nodded a greeting, suddenly too shy to use words. I didn’t want him to think I was ignoring him after all the help he gave me yesterday, it was quite the opposite. I found myself not wanting to stop looking at him. Reprieve from the tension occurred when Mrs. Uptite came barreling in later than usual. She caught sight of the crutches and motioned for me to stay seated during the Anthem and prayer. The aliens were sitting too.

  Attendance seemed to fly by and the buzzer for first period went off. I had to remind myself that he was taken, T. A. K. E. N because I cursed that homeroom was over so quickly and we had to go our separate ways. I glanced one last time at him before turning to leave. He appeared to be looking at something on his phone. Maybe HE was trying to spend more time in here because I was here. I hobbled out of the classroom first, proud of myself for resisting any and all temptations to spend every last second with him.

  Tara and Sierra were waiting for me at lunch. I took the chair opposite Tara and started eating from her tray. She rolled her eyes, “If you want me to get you food, all you have to do is ASK!”

  I laughed, “Thanks, I’ll have the same as you.” She pretended to look annoyed but I wasn’t believing it.