Kiss and Cry

by Ramona Lipson

  “Why not?” I argued. “It’s what we both want!”

  “You’re making this harder for me!”

  “Am I?” I teased. “How about if I remove my dress for you?”

  “Stop,” he said sternly. I tossed it towards his feet.

  “No,” I continued sliding out of my bathing suit. Now I laid before him naked.

  “Take me,” I tempted him. This was so Adam and Eve, because of the way he was staring at me and my sinfulness. Resisting all temptation he deserted me in the bedroom. I laid in bed shocked that he would just leave me, staring at the ceiling for several minutes before I heard the front door slam. What was his problem? I raced to the front of the house to make sure he didn’t get in his car. He left by foot and I was relieved. I snuck back to the bedroom without anyone seeing me and got dressed in my bathing suit.

  I joined everyone back at the pool. Sierra was talking to Adam and Tara was locked onto Carter for dear life. I decided to go for a swim and dived into the deep end doing a few laps before getting out. I couldn’t have been in there for more than half an hour, forty minutes at most. The heated water was refreshing against the humid air.

  When I got out I reached for a towel that was laying on the fence and looked around the pool. Ryan still wasn’t back.

  I decided to go searching for him, checking inside the house, and then outside. There was no sign of Ryan in the house so I started down what appeared to be a deserted street with the exception of a parked car that appeared to have steamed windows in the distance. My heart sank. I briskly walked towards the car, fearing my suspicion would be substantiated. His chocolate brown hair and muscular body couldn’t be mistaken, he was taking someone else.

  Sleeping Over

  I froze when I saw what appeared to be his face in the rear window. He was keeping a look out to make sure he wasn’t caught.

  He saw me see him.

  I turned in the opposite direction and ran as fast as I could until my legs wouldn’t carry me any further and then I found a soft patch of grass and collapsed to my knees where I broke down and cried.

  Later, I don’t know how much later there was a car driving really slowly down the street. It slowed more when it was parallel to me, then it stopped. Tara came running to me,”Oh my God, We’ve been so worried!”

  I didn’t want to move. She called over to the car, “I need help.” The car was thrown into park and Adam got out of the back seat and came over to us. He picked me up and carried me to the car. I cried into his shoulder.

  Tara got back into the front seat and turned to me, “What happened?”

  I couldn’t speak, I wept until I couldn’t do it anymore. I really liked Ryan and I felt humiliated that I made a fool of myself in the bedroom and he just picked up another girl and did things with her that I wanted to do with him. Adam held me the entire time, and then when I was finished he carried me to her parents bedroom and placed me in their bed. Tara said to Adam, “I can’t stay with her, there’s still too many people downstairs. Can you stay with her until I get rid of everyone?

  “Sure,” he reassured.

  “Make sure Ryan doesn’t come in,” Tara warned.

  “You can count on that,” he said assuredly. She turned to leave locking us in the bedroom.

  He climbed into bed with me and stroked my hair while I suffered from embarrassing sobbing hiccups that I couldn’t stop. I had calmed down significantly when we heard the knock on the bedroom door. Ryan’s drunken voice called out, “Dalia?”

  I cowered into Adam not wanting to see Ryan, “She’s not here,” he said.

  “Open the fucking door Adam, I know she’s in there with you!”

  “Tara told me to guard her from you. You better back the fuck off!”

  “She’s MY partner,” he claimed angrily.

  “Maybe you should have thought of her before you left the party to bang another girl,” he said spitefully.

  We heard footsteps and then Jeremy’s voice, “Come on Rye, you better sleep this off. Go home before you do more damage. We called you a cab, it’s here.”

  “Jer, I’m not drunk. You of all people have got to believe me.”

  “Okay, I believe you, but Dalia doesn’t want to see you just like Sierra doesn’t want to see me.” Jeremy said.

  “Why doesn’t Sierra want to see you?” Ryan asked.

  “Bitch broke up with me tonight. Can you believe it? What a shitty fucking night!” Jeremy complained. Their voices along with their footsteps slowly disappeared and Adam stayed with me until Tara could take his place. When he left, I fell fast asleep.

  The next morning I found Tara’s arms wrapped around me. I tried to shrug out of her grasp but she tightened it, “You’re not getting out of this bed until you tell me what happened last night.” I flashed back to what happened and dread and regret washed over me. What was I thinking stripping down for Ryan like that and freaking out when I saw him with a girl. My head was pounding from the after affects of the vodka. I drank way too much and my stomach was churning.

  “I joined Alpha at the pool and he gave me this look like he wanted me or something. We went upstairs and he admitted it. He wanted me the way I wanted him. He looked awesome last night you have to agree with me Tara! So I beckoned him, stripped down naked and everything. You could tell he was torn about what to do. Instead of joining me on the bed though, he stood at the foot of it and said that sleeping together wasn’t part of our equation and that I was making everything harder on him.”

  “Where you?”

  “Yes, totally, because I wanted him. I got undressed and was willing him to take me for himself. He just stood there floored.”

  “So then what happened?”

  “He stormed off and I felt like a jackass. He left me alone. So I went back to the party and went for a swim. I felt completely humiliated. When I got out of the pool I went looking for him. I found him naked in a car with steamed windows. He was banging some chick. When I was sure it was him I went running in the opposite direction until I couldn’t run anymore and that’s when you found me. It was so hard to see Tara. He started pounding on your parent’s bedroom door, trying to talk to me. I heard him tell Jeremy in the hallway that he wasn’t drunk, and I believe him. He knew what he was doing when he was with that girl, and that makes it worse.”

  “He’s an asshole, and you shouldn’t have gotten that drunk!” Tara commented angrily. “By the way, Sierra broke up with Jeremy for sure last night,” Tara informed me.

  “I know, I heard him talking in the hallway to Ryan.”

  “Did she stay over?”

  “Ya.”

  “Did she get together with Adam?”

  “No, I had a talk with her, told her our golden rule. She never knew.”

  Two Weeks at Tara’s

  Tara got out of bed and pulled my phone from its charger, throwing it towards me before heading to the shower. The light was flashing blue so I pressed the button and saw: three phone messages, no emails and ten texts.

  Phone message 1:

  “It’s Ryan, we need to talk. Call me.”

  Phone message 2:

  “Dalia, Please, can you give me a call. I need to explain what happened. Last night meant nothing.”

  Phone message 3:

  “You’re going to have to talk to me sooner or later. It will be easier if it’s sooner. Call me.”

  I hazard to guess what the texts were going to say. I saw eight from him and two from my mother.

  Mom

  7:00 PM

  U’re dad & I must have missed U. We packed a bag 4 U & left it @ the door so U have clothes 2 wear @ Tara’s.

  Mom

  7:02 PM

  I left $ 4 U in the side pocket of the bag, 2 use on food so Tara’s parents don’t have 2 pay 4 all U’r food. Have fun!

  Ryan

  11:30 PM

  Where R U. U have 2 let me explain!

  Ryan 11:32 PM

  It’s not what U think!

&nb
sp; Ryan 11:35 PM

  Just tell me where U R?

  Ryan 12:01 AM

  U’re in the room with that asshole Rn’t U?

  Ryan 12:02 AM

  Text me. Do U even have U’r Phone?

  Ryan 12:15

  I’m waiting 4 U in my car, come out!

  Ryan 12:20

  I’m going 2 leave.

  Ryan 12:30

  I’m leaving.

  We congregated in kitchen where we decided on cereal and toast for breakfast, “My parents packed me a bag.”

  Sierra volunteered, “I’ll drive you home to get it.”

  “Thanks. How did Jeremy take the breakup last night? I heard him talking to Ryan about it.”

  “Oh? What did you hear?”

  “He was encouraging Ryan to stop pounding on the door and leave me alone. He said, ‘Sierra doesn’t want to see me and Dalia doesn’t want to see you right now.’” I looked over at Tara, “That’s when Ryan also admitted to Jeremy that he wasn’t drunk. So he knew full well what he was doing last night with that girl.”

  Sierra looked at me, “What happened with both of you guys? When I finished breaking up with Jeremy you were gone and Tara, Adam, and Carter were out looking for you.”

  I sighed, “Ryan and I were sitting by the pool feeling it. He took me upstairs and I thought for sure we were going to get hot on each other. Then he started saying how getting together in bed isn’t in the cards. So I tried luring him in and he stormed off. I went looking for him later and found him banging some other chick in a car down the street.”

  “Oh my,” Sierra said under her breath, “that’s rough. It took him less than an hour to find a girl who was willing to spread her legs for him.”

  “These are his messages,” I played back his answering messages and put it on speaker so the girls could hear and then I passed the phone around so they could read his texts.

  “Don’t weaken on this,” Sierra advised. “If he was such a nice guy he would have considered your feelings.”

  “I quite agree,” Tara sided with Sierra.

  I finished my bowl of cereal and started washing the dish, “What happened with you and Jer?”

  “I told him that I needed a change, I wouldn’t mind getting together once in a while for bootie calls, but I wasn’t interested in anything serious anymore.”

  “Did you say, ‘Bootie Calls?’” Tara asked.

  “Yes, he was quite prudish about the idea and took it offensively saying I was making him feel cheap.”

  “Did you have breakup sex?”

  “Ya, did you, and do I need to clean the sheets?” Tara asked.

  “Of course we did, and we didn’t make any messes don’t worry.” Sierra answered wistfully. If the sex was that good everyday I wouldn’t have broken up with him.

  “Isn’t that always the case?” Tara joked.

  “Come on Dalia, I’ll drive you to get your bag. Do you want to come Tara?”

  “Sure.”

  We all hopped into Tara’s car and drove to my place to get my packed bag. A phone chirped and as per usual, none of us knew who’s phone went off so we all went searching. I pulled mine out, “Not mine, surprise surprise!”

  “Not mine,” Sierra added.

  “Oh.My.God1” Tara commented under her breath.

  “What?” Sierra asked.

  “Carter just fucking broke up with ME!”

  “You’re kidding, by Email?” I asked.

  “No, worse, TEXT!” Tara exclaimed.

  Sierra reached for the phone, “Let me see.” She read it aloud:

  Carter: It’s been a slice (especially last night), but I want to be single for a while. You understand? Lets just be friends. Signed, feeling smothered.

  “How crass,” I commented, “oh well, you were planning on breaking up with him anyway weren’t you?”

  “The asshole beat me to it,” Tara seethed.

  Sierra giggled, “Now you don’t have to worry about it. You said he bored you anyway. I’m staying friends with Jeremy, who know’s Carter might turn out to be a great friend. Boyfriends are overrated.”

  The following four weeks we lived like total recluses. We made no unnecessary contact with the outside world, shied away from social media. If we weren’t by Tara’s pool we were watching movies at Sierra’s house. We swore off guys completely and got reacquainted ourselves with each other.

  Intense Training for Competition

  I dreaded the day I was expected back on the ice, not because I didn’t want to skate, but because I would have to face HIM.

  Mom and dad were taking me in this morning, because Coach Hicks wanted to meet with them to discuss the competition season. Dad was dressed in his best suit for work, the smell of his cologne filled his car. Mom was gussied up in a dress suit she only wore on special occasions.

  We pulled in, and I noticed Ryan’s car was already there. We strolled through the lounge to find Ryan’s mother Sara and Ryan waiting for us on the Sofa. Coach Hicks was coming out of the skating office walking in our direction. He stretched out his hand to greet my father, “Welcome to our club Mr. Middleton, my name is Coach Hicks.”

  “The pleasure is mine,” he said. I managed to avoid eye contact with Ryan by focussing on Coach Hicks and my parents.

  Hicks started leading us towards the club’s dining room area overlooking the rink. I had seen it before but never dined there.

  “I ordered the kids a light breakfast so they wouldn’t miss their entire practice, we can stay up here and enjoy the rest of our meal while they skate,” Sara informed my parents.

  “That’s lovely,” mom said.

  There was a private table set up for us next to the window giving us a perfect view of the ice. There were two extra chairs at the table, “Who are the two extra chairs for?” I asked,

  Coach Hicks nodded to Ryan, “Do you want to tell her?”

  I looked into his dark eyes for the first time since the party and my heart gave out on me all over again. The embarrassment and hurt came flooding back to me and I wasn’t able to maintain eye contact with him, I just prayed Coach Hicks didn’t pick up on it. The memory of him in the car with someone else was embossed like a stain.

  “We thought you would want to have breakfast with Tara and Sierra on your birthday and give them a private performance before your debut in the competitive world.”

  “Oh My!” I looked at mom, “I thought you guys forgot! Mom you told Ryan when my birthday was?”

  “Tara told me,” Ryan admitted. “Please don’t be mad at me for arranging all of this.”

  That’s when Tara and Sierra showed up in the dining room of the club. I went running over to give each of them a hug and a kiss squealing with excitement. This was huge! We came back to the table and that’s when dad said, “We’re so proud of you Honey, Happy Birthday.”

  The waitress placed a full breakfast in front of Ryan and a carrot muffin, apple slice, and orange juice in front of me. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know my mom told Sara what to order for me.

  “Dad and I are taking you out tonight. You can indulge then,” mom reassured. She smiled at Mrs. Kennedy, “I have to keep her weight down or your son will strain himself.”

  Mrs. Kennedy giggled at mom’s comment while the waitress was placing food in front of everyone. Ryan and I ate quickly while Coach Hicks and our parents discussed the competition schedule. Tara and Sierra chatted away excited to see Ryan and I skate.

  Mom sliced me an evil eye, with just one glance I knew to stop eating and go put my skates on. Ryan followed. By the time we got onto the ice, the practice session was in full swing. I hadn’t said a word to him since we left the table and I wasn’t able to look into his eyes. I knew my emotions were completely irrational.

  I slipped my hand in his and I went through the motions of warming up with him but there was a palpable wall between us and I was sure the only people who knew about it were me, Ryan and probably Coach Hicks. We stroked around and s
tretched for a few minutes and then he stopped me and glared into my eyes. I cast mine away from his penetrating gaze and he lifted my chin to face him again, “Coach Hick’s wants me to lift you.”

  My heart raced, “But we didn’t practice!”

  “You never returned my calls,” he countered. “You’re going to have to trust me. You did it in the pool.”

  “Once! I did it in the pool once!”

  “Then pretend that’s where we are. Coach Hicks chose to bring everyone upstairs so they could see you in your glory. We can do this. Trust me.”

  He released my chin and took hold of my hand. He guided me. We built up the speed we needed skating backwards, I placed my right foot into Ryan’s hand and his other hand grabbed my waist. He hoisted me into the air above his head with my left leg extended in the spiral position and this huge rush of adrenaline encompassed me, I smiled with tears of happiness as I saw my parents expressions on their faces while I was in the air, I could tell they were proud of me.

  Ryan lowered me to the ground and slowed down enough so we could hug each other. Tears of happiness sprung from my eyes. It was by far the best moment of my life, because it was shared with everyone I loved, in particular my father, who was my biggest fan.

  Competition

  It was our first competition of the season and after much duress our parents finally agreed to trust us to go alone to Lake Placid. Their only comfort was knowing Coach Hicks would be chaperoning starting late Saturday afternoon. Our parent’s schedules were all over the place and nothing worked out for them.