Kiss and Cry

by Ramona Lipson

  He pulled my hips in to his and I could feel IT pressing hard against me and I wanted to beg him to take me right there and then, but my pride and most of all my body was continuously betraying me by shivering, forcing us to get out of the pool and end our moment.

  Breaking the Rules

  I showered and dressed in the change room before whipping out my phone. I had to text Tara:

  Dalia: What the fuck did U loan me?

  Tara: My bikini! Isn’t it gorgeous!

  Dalia: Where’s the material?

  Tara: Oh, that is sold separately, lol! Sierra bought 1 2!

  Dalia: $?

  Tara: $150.00

  Dalia: U were so ripped off!

  Tara: How did it go?

  Dalia: Great, on the last lift I looked down, Alpha’s great white was lurking beneath the depths!

  Tara: Oh my, U gave him a hard on? What did U do?

  Dalia: Screamed 4 him 2 put me down!

  Tara: & did he?

  Dalia: He slid me down his body & then he kissed me. I would have been mad but it was so hot. He’s so sexy.

  Tara: Sounds hot, did U kiss him back?

  Dalia: 2 right! What do I do now? He’s waiting 4 me. I don’t even know if I can face him!

  Tara: Apologize

  Dalia: No! HE kissed ME.

  Tara: Did U kiss him back?

  Dalia: Ya

  Tara: Then apologize! How was it?

  Dalia: I’m shaking.

  Tara: Don’t make him wait 4 U. Don’t 4get we’re getting 2gether 2 celebrate the last day of school @ my house.

  Dalia: Looking 4ward 2 it. gg. :-)

  He was waiting for me at the door in only his T-shirt and pants that barely covered his six pack. I took a deep breath and followed him out to his Mercedes. We sat in his car in utter silence until he broke it by saying, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “So that’s never going to happen again?” I asked, really wishing it would.

  “Never,” he reiterated.

  “Promise?”

  “Promise,” he reassured.

  I climbed over the gearshift and confidently slid onto his lap so I was facing him. All this time I wanted to touch his wisps and now he had gone and had them cut off. I wanted to run my fingers through what was left, so I did. His eyes darkened, but he didn’t stop me or say anything. I was being a naughty girl!

  His short hair felt so soft, I kept my fingers in his hair. His eyes closed when I started making long strokes up and down his scalp. I leaned forward into him so my clitoris was rubbing him in the right spot. Suddenly my soft seat hardened and became solid. I liked teasing him. If it was never going to happen again, I wanted to enjoy this moment now.

  He closed his eyelids savouring my massage leaning his head heavily into my fingers. I glided my fingertips down his neck wanting to touch every square inch of his body. When they reached his shoulders they lingered there, until my mouth took over for my fingers. I bent down to kiss the beautiful muscles that I trusted to toss me into the air or hold me high.

  His breathing quickened and he started pushing up creating more of a friction between us, “I’m not going to be able to stop myself Patch. You’re not safe,” he warned.

  “I don’t want to be safe,” I encouraged him. I pushed against him moaning loudly when a very sensitive part of ME rubbed IT. This excited him and it made me want to do more. I slid down while he moved his steering wheel for me and then I freed IT. I took him into my mouth while his fingers fisted into my hair and I pleasured him until he was satiated.

  With his fingers caught in my hair, he pulled my head up and took me into this all encompassing kiss. I found myself needing the same kind of relief that I was just gave him for myself.

  He came to my mercy and removed my panties before impaling me with one of his fingers. He slid it in and out trying to alleviate me but I was too wet for him and it wasn’t enough, so he used a second finger and my breath caught. He played with me until I was screaming, my body began shaking and I came around his fingers.

  We kissed each other passionately and then I asked, “Never again?”

  “No, never again,” he resolved.

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  He drove me home while I tried to recover from our lustful excursion. Justin Beiber’s song ‘Never Say Never,’ came on the radio and I had to chuckle at the irony.

  Last Day of School

  Knowing I wasn’t going to have to sit next to Adam in homeroom for at least a few months was a huge relief. I refused to look in his direction after finding out how easily he turned to another girl after me. Rumour had it that he broke up with her and chose to be alone for a while, because apparently he only had eyes for me. I was under the impression he was a player though.

  Mrs. Uptite seemed to let loose on our last day of classes and marked everyone present even if they weren’t. The bell sounded and we all rushed to leave.

  We met up for our last lunch together to finalize the plans for tonight. Sierra and Jeremy saved us a table in the centre of the cafeteria. They were discussing something quite heatedly when I approached the table, suddenly conversation stopped, fishy. They must have been experiencing more problems since the Harper fiasco.

  “What’s going on?” I probed.

  Sierra looked up at me, “Jeremy invited Ryan tonight and Tara told me Carter invited Adam.”

  I shrugged, “Don’t worry about it, I’m not with either of them so it doesn’t matter. The more people at the party the merrier.”

  Her eyebrows shot up, “Are you sure about that?”

  “Positive,” I reassured her.

  “Ryan hates Adam,” Jeremy commented.

  “I’m sure Adam hates Ryan,” I added.

  “Speaking of Ryan,” Sierra said looking past me.

  Ryan chose the vacant chair next to Jeremy. He took the seat and spun it around so the back was pushed up against the table.

  Sierra leaned in to Ryan, “You ARE coming tonight aren’t you Ryan?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it, what time does it start?”

  “Show up around six,” Sierra instructed. “Do you have the address?”

  “No,” Ryan glanced at me, “Text me Tara’s address,” he ordered me.

  “Sure,” I agreed.

  “The food will be ready for seven.”

  “Here’s the list and the money,” Jeremy handed the alcohol list to Ryan.

  “Great, I’ll pick it up after school. You want to tag along Dalia?”

  “I can’t, mom wants to dye my roots.”

  “I’ll do it Sierra offered, come over to my place.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to do it!”

  “Okay.”

  Carter and Tara joined us at the table choosing the seats next to me. She looked at Jeremy, “Did you give Ryan the alcohol list?”

  Sierra answered, “Ya he did. Is the pool going to be ready in time?”

  “Totally! What’s a pool party without the pool?” Tara squealed.

  “Just a party,” I responded smiling.

  Carter looked over at Ryan, “You know I invited Adam.”

  “Jeremy told me.”

  “I don’t want anything to happen between the two of you,” Tara warned. “My parents will never let me have a party again if there’s any fighting.”

  Tara looked at me, “Do you still have the tinted water bottles to hide the alcohol in?”

  “Ya, I can drop them by your house Ryan before Sierra and I go to Tara’s.”

  Ryan glanced back at me, “No need, Jeremy and I will pick you ladies up at Sierra’s house so we can transfer the alcohol into the water bottles and we’ll all go together to Tara’s.”

  “Sounds great,” Tara said happily. “It sounds like its all planned!”

  “Too right!” I agreed.

  The bell rang and we all went our separate ways.

  I texted mom:
>
  Dalia: Don’t 4get Tara’s annual party is 2night. I’m going 2 Sierra’s, she offered 2 do my hair.

  Mom: Have fun Honey!

  Dalia: Can U drop the dye off on your way 2 work?

  Mom: Sure, I can B there in 1/2 hour.

  Dalia: Thx, I’ll B waiting 4 U.

  Mom: OK

  Sierra lived in a modern loft downtown Toronto, so we took the Toronto TTC to get to her house after school. Her mother’s name was Aria and she worked in real estate so her hours were all over the place. Aria was in love with this guy Nick in her early thirties and was about to marry him when he jilted her at the alter for her best friend Chanel. I heard the story every time Sierra’s mother got blathered. Sierra was Nick’s illegitimate kid. He never found out about her and if Aria had her way, he never will. Sierra had no interest in seeking out her father, after her mother worked so hard to support her and give her a good life. She was happy.

  As expected, we had the place to ourselves. Mom dropped off the dye surprising me with a box of my original colour. We ran upstairs and Sierra threw me an old t-shirt before she started mixing the dye. I put the shirt on and sat on the chair she put in the bathroom for me.

  “Say good-bye to your platinum!”

  “Bye!” Then the process began, layer by layer she applied the dye to cover the blond that my mother helped me maintain for several months.

  When Sierra was finished applying the colour, the box said we had an hour to wait so we went downstairs and raided the refrigerator. I took a cheese string and yogurt before perching myself on her yellow shag rug to watch television while we waited. We watched Judge Judy until my hair was ready for rinsing.

  Sierra sat me back in the chair and combed my hair before brandishing the scissors, “You’re not!” I said to her. “It just grew back!”

  “Let’s just try bangs! I’ll keep them long,” she suggested.

  Not waiting for an answer she took liberties with MY hair and started brushing some forward and began cutting a straight line across my eyes while she told me, “I’m breaking up with Jeremy tonight.” I watched helplessly as the long locks fell onto my lap. When she finished her horizontal line, she stepped back to admire her handiwork before smiling and saying, “That’s done!”

  She proceeded to the back and collected all my hair, “5 off?”

  “Fuck off! Cut five off your own hair!”

  “Tara wears hers short!”

  “That’s Tara.”

  “Three off? It will land two inches below your chin.”

  “Two, and that’s it!”

  “Cool, I love cutting hair.”

  “When are you breaking up with him, in the end or beginning of the party?”

  “Beginning, gives me a chance to land someone else! That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  I cringed when I saw her two was really a three and that was with wet hair, “Go on.”

  “Would it bother you if I hooked up with Adam? He’s single right now.”

  “You don’t have to ask, of course it’s okay. That ship sailed.” I knew it shouldn’t bother me but it did. For some reason I could never imagine him with anyone but me.

  When she finished with me I laid on her bed playing with my hair while waiting for her to shower. She dressed in her bathing suit with a black floral print summer dress thrown over. Sierra looked amazing. We texted the guys telling them we were ready and then waited for them to come.

  Ryan’s car pulled in twenty minutes later. Jeremy jumped into the back to be with Sierra and I took the front with Ryan. We drove to my house and they waited for me in the car while I quickly ran in and changed out of my school clothes and threw on my bathing suit with a blue summer dress. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the water bottles than bee-lined it back to Ryan’s car before my parents got home, “Okay good to go!”

  Ryan studied me before placing his hand on the headrest and reversing out of my driveway. I waited for him to compliment me or make a wisecrack, but he did neither. I lost myself in his dark eyes wanting another chance to kiss him again with that six o’clock shadow he was sporting. I needed to find an excuse to run my fingers through his hair one more time. Damn it, I had to remind myself ‘never again’. I had to put what happened between us behind me.

  We made it to Tara’s in record time. She lived in a white modern house with a wrap around balcony on the top floor overlooking the pool. The furnishings were Arctic cold. White leather Natuzzi sofa’s, white marble floors, with hints of grey accent pieces all over. The bedrooms had leather headboards with white diamond tuck. They furnishings appeared crisp and clean.

  We arrived right at 6:30 p.m. as the pizza was being delivered. We called up, “Tara! The pizza’s here!” She came running down the stairs two at a time in just her bikini with a wrap around skirt. Her parents were on vacation in Florida for four weeks, so I was planning on spending the first two weeks with her, and Sierra would spend the last two. We were going to be partying all the time!

  She grabbed her little purse on the table in front of the door and handed the pizza guy the money. He fished four boxes out of his pizza warmer and handed them to her before leaving. She carried them into her kitchen and laid them out on the island opening them for us to help ourselves.

  Tara and I found ourselves alone in the kitchen, once the guys hoarded down eighty percent of the pizza. They started walking around checking out the pool. Tara was looking at my hair, “I like the brown better! You let Sierra cut it?”

  “You know her, once she gets her mind set on something there’s no stopping her, do you like it?”

  “Love it! It’s sexy!”

  “Thanks, Did Sierra tell you she’s breaking up with Jeremy?” I informed her.

  “Oh please, tell me not tonight!”

  “Tonight.”

  “At the beginning or end of my party?”

  “She wants to do it at the beginning, she asked me if it would bother me if she hooks up with Adam.”

  “What did you say?”

  “Of course it won’t bother me. That ship sailed.”

  “It bothers you.”

  “Hell ya. I gave him my virginity. I don’t want any girl to ever be with him, it doesn’t matter who it is, but it’s worse if it’s a friend.”

  Ryan came from around the corner, “Still obsessing over asshole?”

  “Would you like a drink?” asked Tara.

  “Something strong,” he requested.

  She poured him orange juice and gave him the bottle of vodka, “Help yourself.”

  “Thanks,” he said. He took the bottle and was very generous with it. He threw in ice chips and left us alone.

  “I sense tension,” Tara said intuitively.

  “After the pool we sort of got physical in the car.”

  “That’s a good thing isn’t it?”

  “No, he said it can never happen again.”

  “What did you guys do?”

  “We just got each other off.” I started pouring myself a screwdriver too.

  “How was it?”

  “The Bomb!”

  “So why don’t you guys want to do it again?”

  “He doesn’t want to screw up our partnership. He’s very serious about wanting to win Gold.”

  “I get that, he’s so Alpha! If you have chemistry though, why not take it to another level.”

  ”He think’s it will negatively impact our partnership. He doesn’t want to take any chances.”

  “So tonight?”

  “I’m staying stag! Men are trouble. How about you and Carter, is everything all right? I haven’t had any emergency texts from you.”

  “It’s getting boring. I planned on finishing with him too.”

  “When?”

  “Tonight! I don’t want to be tied down if all my friends are single. I want to have a good summer too! Do you think it will look tacky if we both break up with them on the same night?”

  “Ya, I’d hold off a few days if I were
you. You don’t want to piss him off too much in case you want to get back together with him after the summer is over.”

  “Good point Dalia, I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”

  “Let’s find Sierra and see if she’s still going to do it.”

  “Too right.”

  One Drink Later

  It was starting to get dark out, and the air was hot and humid for June. Sierra and Jeremy where nowhere to be found but Tara’s parents bedroom door was locked and we could hear raised voices so we closed the sliding door and joined everyone poolside.

  We turned on the patio lanterns and Adam was acting as party DJ. He played soothing music, making for quite a romantic setting. Periodically I noticed him looking over at me, no matter where I was standing, but I chose to ignore it.

  I was on my second drink and feeling pretty fine as I socialized with acquaintances I met through Tara. Tara was busy sending mixed signals cozying up with Carter even though she had full intentions to break up with him in the next day or two. I didn't think she was being fair about it considering his days were numbered.

  After sometime, I decided to sit down next to Ryan who was parked on a lawn chair by the pool. I took a big sip of my screwdriver to increase my courage before asking, “You didn’t say anything about my hair, you don’t like it?” He sat up and reached towards me touching it. I peered into his chocolate eyes and a chill ran down my spine making me shiver. His eyes darkened.

  He took hold of my wrist and brought me into Tara’s house. He swept me off my feet at the base of her stairs and carried me up choosing the first bedroom he found. He placed me gently down on the bed but didn’t join me. He smelled of alcohol mixed with cologne, and I liked it. “I want this damn it, I want to make love to you over and over again, day after day until IT doesn’t work anymore or you can’t walk and then I want to take you in other ways. That’s what I want. But what I want and what I should do are two different things. This isn’t in our equation.”