Hero Worship (Music City Moguls Book 6)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “I have a radio interview.” He made it sound as if he’d rather have a root canal.

  Natasha laughed. “Sounds like fun.”

  “You could make it better.”

  “How?” she asked, tongue in cheek.

  “By inviting me over to your place after I finish up at the station. At least then I’ll have something to look forward to.”

  “By all means, stop by whenever you’re through.” I’ll be counting the minutes.

  ***

  By the time their entrée arrived, Natasha felt as if she’d known Den forever. They were talking and laughing like old friends, and she could see the similarities between the two brothers. They both had an uncanny ability to put people at ease.

  After wiping his mouth with the cloth napkin, Den leaned back. “I went back and forth when Clint suggested we come here, but when I told Ryland about it, he was all for it. He and Clint have always been close, and I think…”

  Natasha could tell Den was still having difficulty opening up. She didn’t want to push, but she’d gladly listen if he wanted to unburden himself. “You think…?”

  “That my kid was thinking of what was best for me. He knows I’m having a hard time living with the memories of Julie, and I think he just wanted to do something to make my life better. He’s a pretty selfless kid.” With a half-smile, he shook his head. “He definitely got that from his mama. I’m the self-absorbed one. You know, the guy who’d forget anniversaries and birthdays.”

  Den was still beating himself up for not being the kind of husband he felt his wife had deserved. She touched his hand. “No one’s perfect. The important thing is that she knew you loved her.”

  “That’s just it,” he said, staring off into space. “I’m not sure she did.” He closed his eyes briefly, refusing to look at Natasha when he said, “We’d been together a long time, and I’m ashamed to admit I’d started taking her for granted.”

  Since Natasha didn’t have any experience with long-term relationships, she sat back and waited for Den to explain, hoping he wouldn’t misinterpret her silence for judgment or indifference.

  “We got so caught up in the day-to-day.” His eyes filled with tears. “When I was sitting in that church, listening to our pastor talk about what an incredible wife and mother she’d been, I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I’d told her I loved her.” He swallowed repeatedly, clenching his jaw. “Hell, I couldn’t remember the last time we’d made love.” When he realized he’d said that aloud, he grimaced. “Sorry. Too much information.”

  “It’s okay. I know sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers about stuff like this. I guess that’s why support groups are so popular, right?” When he merely nodded, she decided to roll the dice. “Speaking of support groups, have you ever thought of finding one? My mother attended a few meetings after my dad died, and she said it helped a lot.”

  “I don’t know.” He smirked. “I’m not really one to share my feelings. I know that may surprise you, since I’ve basically spilled my guts with you.” He squeezed her hand. “I don’t know what it is about you, Natasha, but you’re really easy to talk to. You remind me of Julie in a lot of ways. You’re a great mom. Kind, compassionate, understanding.”

  Natasha felt a little uncomfortable under his close scrutiny, but she didn’t want to embarrass him by admitting as much. “That’s sweet of you to say. Maybe it would help if you started dating again?” She gestured around them. “Consider this a practice run.”

  “God, I can’t remember the last time I’ve been out with a woman—other than Julie.”

  “You’ll know when it’s time to start dating again. I think my mother waited six years after my daddy died to go out with someone else even though we were all teenagers at the time.”

  “It’s not easy being a single parent, is it?”

  “No, it definitely isn’t easy.” Natasha laughed. “There are days when I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.”

  “I hear you.” He chuckled. “But it’s pretty great too.”

  “Yeah, I can’t imagine my life without my son.” Their eyes connected, and Natasha felt a kinship she hadn’t shared with many people. The few men she’d gone out with over the years were bachelors or divorced. Some were part-time dads, but none were solely responsible for their child’s care. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but Austin is definitely not one of them.”

  “That’s the other thing,” Den said. “Having a brother like Clint, especially in this town, is rough.” He raised his hand. “Don’t get me wrong. I love my kid brother, but he casts a pretty big shadow.”

  “I know what that’s like.”

  “Really? Do tell.”

  “I have an older sister, and she was always the smart one, the popular one. She married her high school sweetheart, and they have two perfect children. Now she’s a teacher—teacher of the year in her school district, in fact. I love my big sister, but I feel a little inferior sometimes.” Natasha winced when she realized how petty she sounded. “God, that sounded awful, didn’t it? I love her, I really do. And I’m crazy proud of her, but—”

  “Sometimes it’d be nice to be recognized for your achievements, right?”

  “Precisely.” They shared a smile. Talking to someone who’d followed the same path and could understand some of her challenges was nice.

  “So what’s the deal with Austin’s father? He’s not in the picture?”

  Natasha rarely talked about that time in her life, but after Den had opened up to her, she felt it was only fair she do the same. “No. That was kind of like two ships passing in the night. We never had a real relationship, and it was probably better that way.”

  “Didn’t you ever question whether you were up to the challenge of being a single parent?” Den asked, reaching for his water glass. “You must have been pretty young when he was born, right?”

  “I was, but no, I never really considered putting him up for adoption or anything like that.” She shrugged. “I can’t say I’m a religious person, but I am pretty spiritual. I figured Austin had been given to me because he was part of my grand plan.”

  “I like that,” Den said, smiling. “He was part of your grand plan. I feel the same way about Ryland. Sometimes I look at him and wonder how the hell I had any part in bringing him into the world, but I’m so damn grateful I did.”

  Natasha raised her water glass. “Here’s to happy accidents.”

  “To happy accidents.”

  Chapter Nine

  By the time Clint made his way to Natasha’s place, it was long past Austin’s bedtime, but when he’d called, she assured him it wasn’t too late to stop by. Since he was dying to see her, he chose to believe she felt the same way. As soon as she opened the door, he pulled her into a tight embrace before kissing her. When her neighbor across the hall cleared her throat as she fit her key into the lock, Clint realized they were putting on a show.

  “Hi, Mrs. Stein,” Natasha said, wiggling her fingers as she gripped Clint’s hand and tugged him inside. “How’s Mr. Stein? Were you at the nursing home visiting him?”

  “Oh no, visiting hours are long over. My daughter took me out for dinner.”

  “That’s nice. I hope you had fun.”

  Just as Natasha was about to close the door, Mrs. Stein asked, “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

  Natasha muttered something indecipherable before forcing a smile as she opened the door wider. “Of course. Clint, this is my neighbor, Mrs. Stein.”

  Clint took a few steps forward, offering the elderly woman his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”

  “I know who you are,” she said, her green eyes sparkling with mischief. “You’re that country singer.”

  “Guilty as charged,” Clint said, grinning.

  “You really should feel guilty,” she said, pursing her lips as she withdrew her hand and wagged her finger at him. “It’s a shame what’s happened to country music, and
you are a big part of the reason.”

  Clint was used to his parents’ generation blaming him for the demise of the country music they loved. “I take it you don’t like ‘new country’?” He made quotations around the words the disc jockeys liked to throw around when promoting his brand of music.

  “If you ask me, it’s not even country music,” she said, fluffing her white curls. “Nothing but glorified rock and roll. Now Willie Nelson, he knew how to tell a story.”

  “Indeed he did.” Clint couldn’t wait to get Natasha inside her apartment and put an end to this asinine conversation. “Well, you know what they say, different strokes for different folks.”

  “Are you getting cheeky with me, young man?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.

  “Oh Lord,” Natasha muttered behind him. “Here we go.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it, ma’am.” He chuckled. “You and my nana would’ve gotten along famously. She felt the same way you do, said my kind of music was shameful.”

  “Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Mrs. Stein said, looking thoughtful. “It’s better than that god-awful rap music my great-grandson listens to.”

  Clint laughed. “Well, now we’ve found some common ground. I couldn’t agree with you more.” He hoped she didn’t know about his collaboration with the hottest new country rapper.

  “Maybe you’re not so bad after all,” she said, patting his arm. “It’s like I always tell my daughter, there’s good in everyone. You just have to look for it.” She peered over his shoulder to look at Natasha. “Could I give you a little piece of advice though?”

  Since Clint knew it was unavoidable, he said, “Please do.”

  “There are some terrible gossips in this building, and I’m sure you’re fodder for those grocery store rags. If you want to kiss your girl good night, take it inside.”

  “That’s an excellent idea,” Clint said, trying not to smile. “I think I’ll do just that.” He tipped his cowboy hat. “It was a real pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Stein. You have a good night now.”

  ***

  When they were safely cocooned inside Natasha’s apartment, she leaned against the closed door, grimacing. “I’m so sorry about that. She’s a sweet lady, but the part of her brain that censors what she says shorts out sometimes.”

  Clint laughed at her description. “Honey, in my line of work, you get used to dealing with all kinds of people. She didn’t even faze me.”

  “It’s good to know you’re not skittish,” she said, fisting his button-down shirt to draw him closer. Standing on her toes to invite his kiss, she frowned when he didn’t indulge her obvious request. “Is there a problem?”

  He smirked. “Not at all. Just waitin’ for you to kiss me, pretty lady.”

  Natasha had a rule about initiating sex, but she’d already decided Clint deserved his own set of rules. She wrapped her arms around his neck, aligning their bodies as much at their height difference would allow. Melting into the kiss, she said a silent prayer of gratitude that her mother had insisted Austin spend the night at her apartment so she and Clint could have some alone time.

  Clint moaned softly, allowing his hands to drift down her sides before settling at the curve of her spine. “I have been cravin’ that all damn day.” When he opened his eyes, he looked down the hall. “Is Austin asleep?”

  “Actually, he’s spending the night with my mama.”

  “Is that so?”

  She couldn’t help but smile at the excitement making his light eyes sparkle. “He fell asleep on the couch watching TV, so my mama said I might as well let him stay up there. No sense disturbing him.” She patted his chest before linking her hand with his and leading him into the living room. “How was the radio interview?”

  “It was okay, I guess. When you’ve done a few hundred, they all seem the same.” He shrugged out of his blazer and tossed it over the back of a chair.

  “Sorry, I should have asked,” she said, pointing at the expensive jacket. “Can I hang that up for you?”

  “No, it’s fine.” He moved closer, threading his hands through her hair. “Now that I know we’re alone, I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep my hands off you.”

  “Who said you have to?” Natasha felt her heart skip a beat.

  Clint must have sensed her hesitation because he said, “You know I’m crazy about you, and I’d love nothing more than to take this to the next level, but not until you’re ready. Like I said, I have no problem waiting. As long as it takes.”

  Natasha hadn’t been intimate with a man in a long time, but the intimacy she already shared with Clint went far beyond the physical, and she knew he felt the same way. Tugging him down onto the sofa, she settled in next to him. “I want to be with you.” She tucked her legs beneath her. “But sex is a pretty big deal for me, and well, we haven’t even been out on a real date yet. I just don’t want to rush it.”

  “I get that.” Gripping the back of her head, he drew her closer to inhale her scent. “You think your mama would mind watching Austin on Saturday night so I can take you out on a real date?”

  Most of their interactions had been at the office, where everyone knew Clint. She had no idea what it would be like venturing into a public place with him. Would he be mobbed, or were country music fans used to seeing him around town?

  “Is that a problem?” he asked, caressing the frown line between her eyebrows with his thumb. “If Saturday doesn’t work, we could make it some other night.”

  “I can ask my mama, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have anything planned for Saturday.” She bit her lip. “Is it weird for you? Going out in public, I mean.”

  He chuckled. “I guess I’m kind of used to it, but if you’re concerned, I have a buddy who owns this great little restaurant. It’s small and intimate. I go there a lot, and the staff is pretty good about helping guard my privacy.”

  Natasha tried not to fixate on the fact that he’d probably taken dozens of women there. She knew she’d make herself crazy if she wasted their time together wondering how she measured up. “That sounds lovely. Is it dressy?” She usually favored business casual clothing and didn’t have many opportunities to dress up, so her wardrobe may have been lacking if Clint preferred fine dining.

  “Um, not really. I think the kind of thing you usually wear to work would be fine.”

  She sighed in relief, embarrassed when her eyes caught Clint’s. “It’s just that, uh, I don’t have very many nice dresses.” Who was she kidding? She didn’t think she owned a formal dress. No, that wasn’t true. She had the little black dress she’d bought on sale for last year’s company Christmas party. Maybe she’d wear that to dinner.

  “Do you have any idea how much I’d like to spoil you?” he whispered, his thumb gliding over her cheek while his hand cupped the back of her head. “I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted and never thought you could have.”

  His words struck a chord in her, prompting a wave of emotion. Ever since her dad had died, she’d stepped up to help her mother. She’d been the responsible one, the caretaker, so her siblings could enjoy a normal life. Knowing that someone wanted to take care of her for a change made her want to say things she never thought she’d have the courage to say—like I’m falling in love with you.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I know you hate it when—”

  “It’s okay,” she said. “I was just thinking that you’re even more incredible than I realized.” She smiled, touching his chest when he seemed moved by her claim. “I’m so lucky to be here with you like this. I want you to know that. If I seem like I’m hesitant about us, that’s not because of you. Those are my issues.”

  “We all have our issues, honey.” He gave her a kiss, followed by another, before he murmured, “Some of us more than others.”

  She smiled. “You can’t be referring to yourself. You’re just about the most level-headed guy I know.”

  “Just how many guys do you know?” he asked, quirk
ing an eyebrow. “Should I be worried?”

  Natasha giggled, loving the thrill that moved through her at his show of possessiveness. It was cruel, but she couldn’t help toying with him a little. “You know how it is. In my line of work, I meet a lot of guys.”

  He frowned, tangling his hand in her hair. “So I’ll ask again. Should I be worried?”

  “No.” She sighed in contentment as she pulled him close. The feel of his strong arms enveloping her stirred the kind of longing she hadn’t felt in a long time. “Definitely not. I’m not interested in anyone else.”

  He kissed her neck leisurely and flicked his tongue over her earlobe. Just as she was debating whether it would seem too needy if she climbed into his lap, he chuckled and gripped her waist. “Damn, we need to stop this now, or I’m not gonna be able to keep my promise to myself or you.”

  “I guess you’re right,” she said, sighing. Their time would come, and when it did, she didn’t want it to be a quickie on her couch with the sound of her next-door neighbor’s TV drifting through the paper-thin walls. She wanted all the things she’d never had, like candles, soft music, a big old bed, and a super-soft duvet meant for lounging.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said, tipping her head up until her eyes met his. “And don’t say ‘nothing,’ ‘cause I know you better than that.”

  He did know her, and that’s what made this so easy. They’d known and respected each other for years. They had an easy rapport that most couples took months to form, and that made her question whether the perfect man had been right under her nose all along and she’d been too blind or scared to see it.

  “I was just thinking I’ve never had the kind of relationship where you curl up in front of the TV on a Saturday night with a bowl of popcorn, make love, and wake up in each other’s arms the next morning.”