Hero Worship (Music City Moguls Book 6)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “I just wanted a place that was all my own.” He looked out over the rolling hills, where the green grass met the cloudless blue sky, as he seemed to get lost in his thoughts. “My old man was pretty controlling, and he didn’t have much faith in me. He thought I could never be more than a rancher, so when I moved to Nashville to try to make it in this business, he swore I’d be back inside of a year, my tail between my legs and begging for a job.”

  “But you proved him wrong,” Natasha said, linking her hand with his. “You should be proud of yourself.”

  “This place was kind of my way of saying ‘screw you’ to him. This is the kind of spread he’d always wanted but could never afford. It was pretty petty of me to use this place to send him a message, but I wanted him to see that I’d made it on my own, that I’d succeeded even though he swore I never would.”

  Natasha’s family hadn’t had a lot of money, but they’d always loved and supported one another. She wouldn’t have traded her childhood for Clint’s for anything. “You can’t hold on to the resentment and expect to be happy. You have to let it go.”

  “I know you’re right.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it while his eyes locked with hers. “You make me want to let go of all of that, to be a better man, the kind of man you’d be proud to be with.”

  Natasha was touched by his sentiment, but she already thought he was perfect. He didn’t have to do anything to prove he was worthy of her. She thought of the thousands of women clamoring for his attention at every one of his shows and held his hand just a little tighter. Was she crazy to try to forge a bond with a man she would have to share with the rest of the world? “Any woman would be proud to call you her man, Clint.”

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he whispered, leaning in to nuzzle her neck. “I can tell your mind’s racing.”

  Natasha decided she would have to be brave if this had a prayer of working. “I’m thinking I must be crazy because I’m imagining what it would be like if we were… involved.”

  The stubble on his jaw grazed her cheek as he whispered in her ear, “Why is that so crazy? I like you. You like me. I really wanna see where this could go. Come on, Tash. Give it a chance.”

  Natasha saw her son throwing a stick to a border collie a few hundred feet away. She vaguely remembered Clint telling her about buying the dog from a nearby breeder last year. Without fear of her son catching a glimpse, since he was so immersed in the dog, Natasha wrapped her arm around Clint’s neck and drew him closer. “I want to give us a chance. I really do.” She closed her eyes when his lips found hers. The kiss was brief but potent. “I’m just scared.”

  “I know you are, baby.” His thumb traced her jawline. “But let me help ease your fears. Every day you’ll learn to trust us a little more, as long as you don’t keep throwing up road blocks.”

  Her mother’s words came back to her, warning her that opportunities for happiness were rare and fleeting and that she had to grab them with both hands before they slipped away.

  “I’m determined to enjoy this.” She’d meant the day, but she could tell by the radiant look on his face that he assumed she was talking about much more.

  ***

  Clint loved watching Austin soak up every minute of his time on the ranch. He and Ryland had hit it off right away, just as he’d suspected they would. They were off on some wilderness trek, looking for animal tracks, while Clint and Natasha sat on the patio with beer and wine, watching the sun set.

  The day had been light and fun. Clint and Natasha had prepared their meal and barbequed together while the boys hung out. He could easily imagine more days like this with Natasha and her son. His only regret was that his brother had made himself scarce soon after meeting Natasha. He’d wanted Den to get to know her, to see the same amazing qualities in her that he did, especially since he was convinced she’d be spending more time at the ranch in the coming months.

  “It’s so peaceful,” she whispered, closing her eyes as she tipped back her head. “The only sound I can hear is the crickets.”

  “This is the time of day I love best out here,” he admitted. “The day’s work is done, everyone’s gone, and it’s just me. Alone with my thoughts.”

  “What do you think about when you’re out here all alone?” she asked, opening her eyes and turning her head toward him.

  Their hands were linked, and he squeezed hers. “The truth is I think about you a lot.” He didn’t want to scare her off, but he was ready to move forward. That couldn’t happen until he swallowed his fear and laid his cards on the table.

  “You do?” she asked, settling her legs on a cedar footstool. “Really?”

  “You may not realize this, but when you agreed to let me help Austin, it was kind of a gift, one I’d been waiting a long time for.”

  “That’s so sweet,” she said, biting her lower lip. “I’m not gonna lie. It’s kind of hard to imagine a guy like you, who could have any woman he wants, wasting time fantasizing about a plain Jane like me.”

  Clint hoped she would one day see herself the way he saw her—as extraordinary. “Tash, I’ve traveled this world over, a few times, and met countless women, but you’re the only one I can’t get out of my head. I was beginning to think we’d never take this out of the friend zone, but now that we have, you need to believe I don’t want anyone else.”

  “I’m trying to believe that,” she said hesitantly, “but it’s a lot easier said than done. I haven’t had much luck with relationships, and this situation is hardly the norm.”

  “Who says ‘the norm’ would work for you?” he asked, determined to play the devil’s advocate. He knew she was still apprehensive about getting involved with him because of his lifestyle, but he was more determined than ever to help her get past those reservations. “My lifestyle may not be easy, but it does come with a lot of perks.”

  “Perks?” She smiled. “Such as?”

  “This,” he said, admiring the land he loved. “I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. It took me a long time to believe I deserved this. So many talented musicians are trying to break into this business, and for the first couple of years, I kept questioning why I’d been chosen instead of all the others. I don’t do that anymore. Now I’m just grateful for what I have.”

  “As you should be.” She set her wine glass on the table between them so she could use her free hand to cover their joined ones. “I never meant to make you feel like your career was the only thing standing between us.”

  She may not have intended to make him feel that way, but it was pretty obvious she felt his career was a hindrance. “What else is there? Austin and I get along great. You and I have been friends a long time. I think it’s pretty obvious we’re compatible in every way that counts. Let’s be honest, Tash. You’re apprehensive about me bein’ out on the road all the time.”

  “And having to deal with all that temptation,” she said softly.

  “I wouldn’t be tempted.” He knew only time would help them build trust. He could make endless promises, but talk was cheap. Only his actions would prove he was sincere. “But you have to decide whether you’re willing to take the risk. I can’t force you.”

  “I just need some time,” she said, biting her lip. “This is all happening so fast.”

  He couldn’t contain his laughter. “Fast? Girl, we’ve known each other for years. I’ve been crazy about you since the day we met. From my perspective, this has been moving at a snail’s pace.”

  “I know I have no right to ask you to be patient with me,” she said, her eyes darting around the patio, looking for a place to land. “You probably have dozens of women waiting—”

  “Sssh.” He leaned in to silence her with a kiss. “Don’t even go there, beautiful.” Touching his forehead to hers, he whispered, “You take all the time you need. I’ll be right here waiting.”

  Chapter Eight

  Clint was sitting at the kitchen table the following morning when his brother walked in. “Hey, h
elp yourself to some coffee.” He pointed at the carafe on the counter. “It’s fresh.”

  “Thanks.” Den poured a cup before leaning against the counter to face his brother. “I’ve been out in the fields for a few hours. Just dropped Ryland off at school. I’ll head back out in a bit.”

  Clint got the uneasy feeling his brother was trying to justify his place on the ranch by working longer and harder than the rest of the ranch hands. “Take your time.” He gestured to the stack of pancakes in the middle of the table. “Have some grub before you go back out there.”

  “Thanks, but I’m good.” He took a sip of coffee. “It seems Ryland liked Austin. They really hit it off. Thanks for setting that up. Ry can use all the friends he can get these days.”

  “Has it been hard for him to make friends?”

  “It wasn’t easy for him to leave his friends behind,” Den said, scowling. “We were going through hell, and I hated to take him away from everything he knew, but there were so many memories there. I couldn’t take him to school without seeing the makeshift memorial on the side of the road. People who loved Julie left flowers and…”

  Clint couldn’t even imagine how difficult it must have been for Julie’s husband and son to drive by that every day. Seeing what his nephew and brother were going through made Clint ache for them, but it also reminded him that he had nothing to complain about. “They wanted to remember her somehow, to let you and Ryland know she wasn’t forgotten.”

  “I know.” His solid chest rose and fell, as though he was trying to keep his emotions in check. “I ask myself every day whether I made the right call bringing Ry here. He’s been pretty closed off. I think that’s why it’s been hard for him to get close to the kids at school. They can’t understand what he’s been through.”

  “Austin does, in some ways,” Clint explained. “He never knew his father, never had a male role model.”

  “Is that what you’re hoping to be for him?” Den asked. “A father figure?”

  “I’m trying to be his friend,” Clint said, choosing his words carefully. “He needs that. He’s at a tough age, trying to figure out who he is and where he fits in. You remember what that was like, right?”

  “Yeah.” Den smirked. “But I was always trying to live up to my talented kid brother. Usually it’s the other way around, but you had the Midas touch. Kids and teachers thought you could do no wrong.”

  Clint didn’t exactly remember it that way. He’d always felt as though he had to work hard to fit in. Acceptance was usually fleeting as a teen. Friends and enemies had often been interchangeable. “I’ll do whatever I can to help Ryland too. Maybe us spending some time alone together would do us both good.”

  “I think he’d like that,” Den said. “He really looks up to you.”

  “I can’t imagine why when he’s got you for a father. You’re the guy I’ve always looked up to.” Clint could tell by his brother’s eye roll that he thought Clint was blowing smoke, but he’d never been more serious. “You became your own man, even when Dad was trying to manipulate you. I’ve always admired that.”

  “You did the same.” Den laughed. “Only in a much bigger way.” He used his half-empty coffee mug to gesture to their surroundings. “This is… incredible.”

  Clint often felt uneasy about his embarrassment of riches, especially when he remembered that so many guys out there, like his older brother, worked harder and deserved it more. “It’s just a house, Den. A pile of bricks and some land.”

  “It may seem that way to you,” he said, letting his breath seep slowly through his lips. “But this is everything I’ve ever dreamed of being able to give my son. And Julie, when she was alive.”

  Clint wouldn’t insult his brother by offering him money again. He knew that was the last thing Den wanted. “You know, Tash grew up with nothing, and she has a pretty good perspective on what it takes to be happy.”

  Clint had often talked to Julie when he needed a friendly shoulder to lean on, and he hoped Natasha and his brother could forge the same kind of bond. “Maybe talking to her would help. She might be able to help you put things into perspective. I know it’s not always easy to talk to family about stuff like this.”

  “She seemed nice,” Den said. “Pretty easy to talk to.”

  “Why don’t you call her?” Clint reached into his pocket for his cell phone. “I’ll text you her number.”

  “Wouldn’t that be kind of weird?” Den asked, frowning.

  Clint laughed. “Man, we’ve been friends for years. She’s a great listener.”

  “If you say so.” Den pushed off the counter, rinsed his mug, and set it in the sink. “Thanks,” he said, gripping Clint’s shoulder before he walked out the door.

  ***

  Natasha was having breakfast with Austin when her cell phone rang. She didn’t recognize the number, but it was local. Deciding to let it go to voicemail, she refilled their juice glasses from the pitcher on the table. “So you had fun at Clint’s yesterday?”

  “It was awesome!”

  Natasha couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her son so happy. It pleased her, but she was still concerned about Austin’s attachment to Clint. “I’m glad you had fun. You and Ryland seemed to hit it off.”

  “Yeah, he’s pretty cool,” Austin said, dipping his toast into an egg yolk.

  “I’m glad you like him, honey. He’s been through a lot, losing his mama like that. I think he could use a friend.”

  Austin nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” He finished his plate before asking, “Mom, you think you and Clint’ll ever get married?”

  Natasha cleared her throat, grateful she didn’t have a mouthful of coffee she might have spewed. “We’re just friends.” That wasn’t entirely true, but she couldn’t talk to her son about her feelings for Clint. It was too complicated, too personal.

  “It didn’t look that way to me.” Austin seemed annoyed by her response. “He’s into you. Anyone can see that.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Because of his career?” Austin asked, frowning.

  “We don’t have time to talk about this now,” Natasha said, glancing at the time on her phone. “Your bus will be here soon, and I have to finish packing your lunch.” She kissed the top of his head as she stood, smiling when he rolled his eyes. Kisses were few and far between now, and she always savored them.

  A few minutes later, she stood at the door, holding out his backpack. “Go on up to your nana’s after school, okay? She invited us for dinner tonight. She’s going to make your favorite: spaghetti and meatballs.”

  “Cool. Love you, Mom.”

  “I love you too,” Natasha said, feeling her heart constrict. As she watched her son step onto the elevator, she realized that though she’d made her fair share of mistakes, Austin was the one thing she’d done right.

  She closed the door and leaned her back against the wood as she checked her messages. There was one from Clint, telling her he hoped she wouldn’t mind but he’d given his brother her number. Den needed a friend, someone outside of their family to talk to about Julie, and Clint knew she was a great listener.

  The next message was from Den. She could tell he felt strange about calling her, and it made Natasha’s heart go out to him more. Though she’d only met him briefly yesterday, she could tell he was a kind man who was trying to make his way back from the brink of hell. She immediately dialed Den’s number, hoping to reach him before he changed his mind about the lunch invitation he’d issued. Apparently he had to drive into town to pick up some food for the livestock and was hoping they could meet.

  “Hey, Den,” she said as soon as he picked up. “This is Natasha. I got your message. I’d love to meet for lunch if you’re still available.”

  “Um, sure.” He hesitated. “I hope you don’t think it was weird that I called. My brother thought we would hit it off.”

  “I don’t think it’s weird at all.” She smiled. He couldn’t see the gesture, but she hoped he c
ould sense it. “I’m glad you called. And for the record, I think Clint was right.”

  “Great.” She heard the enthusiasm in his voice when he said, “You work at Clint’s record label, right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Cool, I know where that is. Does twelve thirty work for you?”

  “That’s perfect.” Even if she’d had a conflict, she would have found a way to make it work. Den was obviously important to his brother, and after everything Clint had done for her and Austin, she owed him. “I’ll see you then.”

  As soon as Natasha disconnected the call, she dialed Clint. “Hey, handsome. Is this a good time?”

  “Never a bad time to talk to you.”

  Natasha closed her eyes, enjoying the rich timbre of his voice. “Your brother just called me. We’re having lunch together today.”

  “That’s great, Tash. I hope you don’t mind that I gave him your number. He could really use a friend, someone who didn’t know Julie as well as I did, and I think it would help him to practice talking to women again. He’ll have to get back into the dating scene at some point, and I think being friends with someone like you would help.”

  “Someone like me?” she asked, amused.

  “You know, you’re easygoing, fun… sweet. I think you’ll remind Den that that part of his life doesn’t have to end just because Julie’s gone.” Clint was silent for a minute. “Julie was one of my closest friends. I still miss her every day. It’s not easy for me to talk to Den about her without fallin’ apart myself, and that’s the last thing he needs. He needs someone who can encourage him to talk and just be there to listen. It would mean a lot to me if you could do that?”

  “Of course I can.” Natasha was touched that Clint thought she could help his brother get through this difficult time. “Austin and I are having dinner with my mama tonight. What are you up to?” She didn’t want to be too obvious, but seeing him again definitely appealed to her.