Her Delayed War

by R. J. Nicolson

  Holy fuck! Sitting on the desk under the window is her military issued address book. The black leather bound book identical to mine which Emily and I couldn’t find is just sitting there. I pick it up and flick to the L and find the address and number I’ve been so desperate to find. We know the phone number is no longer right but fingers crossed the address is. I grab it and run down the stairs.

  “Diane! Cal! Did you know she had this here?” I say when I arrive in the kitchen.

  “Yeah, Jodi left a load of her stuff here when she moved back into her place. What’s wrong with it?” Cal asks.

  “It’s an army supplied address book,” they nod at me like I’m stupid before it dawns on them and their expressions change quickly. “His details are in here.”

  “It’s been in this house all this time?” When I nod Diane drops her head into her hands. “You mean we could have found her already?”

  “Not necessarily. I’m gonna give this to Terry; he knows how to find people given the right information. If this address is out of date he might be able to pull something to find his new one.”

  “Do you love our daughter?” Cal asks with a serious expression on his face.

  “Yes, I love her. I wish I’d told her when she told me she wanted to go get better; I wish I’d just told her from the beginning. I’ve loved her since the first moment I laid eyes on her but she was my Corp, even though she was still the one from day one.” Diane’s eyes flood with tears and Cal drags her to him wrapping his arms around her from behind.

  “Then bring her home, son. Bring her back to us. And make sure you tell her, make sure she knows because you only get one life and right now my princess is not living hers right. She deserves to live her life loved by someone who can support whatever she has going on and we both think you’re the man for that job.”

  “I’m not but I will be.” I say, knowing I’ll do anything to be the man she needs. “I’m going to go. We need to start now. Thank you for taking me in I can’t even remember coming here, I’m sorry to you both.”

  “Don’t be sorry you are always welcome here, son.” Diane wraps me in her arms and Cal shakes my hand at the door, his look telling me to bring his daughter home.

  Jodi

  Lance hasn’t come home for a few days and even though I should be happy I’m not. I know what’s happening when he’s here but the not knowing is freaking me out. I haven’t checked the door for the man since I woke up this morning because I haven’t left the seat I’m sitting in, on edge. There’s no food and I have no money to go to a shop. I can’t go to a shop because I don’t know where I am. I can’t leave because he will be out there. I can’t leave because I don’t know how to.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” His voice breaks through my melt down. I didn’t even hear him come in. “Why are you sat there rocking back and forwards?” The look on his face is pure evil, malicious and twisted. He looks dirty, three days’ worth of hair growth on his face makes him look even more disgusting, the sleeves on his shirt are rolled up to his elbows and his arms are covered in kitchen roll.

  “I can’t live like this; I’m losing the last little part of me. You’re taking me away from me.”

  “Stupid bitch, if you just played by my rules you would have everything you needed to make you better. You just keep pushing me away. Well I’ve fixed some of that,” he pulls the make shift plasters from his arms covered in new black ink. “Like what you see?”

  I shake my head at him before I lifted my hands to cover my face. “We were friends Lance. We can never be more than friends because you can’t understand me. You can’t be the person I need because you don’t understand all of this. I can’t be the person who fixes you because I’m broken and don’t know how to fix myself. You left me here with nothing for three days. You left me alone with nothing so you could what, go get some tattoos because you think that will make me want to stay with you. You were my friend and I trusted that you were going to find me the help I need.” He snorts at my words.

  “No one is looking for you; no one has come to find you. You have no one except me now.” His face shows nothing but pure malice. “You better face facts that this and I are all you fucking get.” He grabs the bags he left by the front door and pours us some neat vodka into glasses. “Fucking drink that.”

  “I need to eat first.”

  “Fucking drink it.”

  I lift it to my lips and swallow past the burn from the alcohol sliding down my throat.

  One glass

  Two glasses

  Three glasses

  Four glasses

  Five glasses

  I’ve lost count and everything feels kind of better. Well everything feels fuzzy.

  “You feel better baby?” I can’t see straight but nod anyway.

  Another drink and the burn isn’t there anymore I’m immune to it now. I stand on shaky legs and make my way towards the stairs when I feel my legs give way under me. I’m safe in his arms cuddling into his chest as he walks up the stairs kissing my head. I knew he would come save me. “Cory.” I whisper before I’m placed on the bed. Arms wrap around me from behind and I snuggle into his warmth, he doesn’t smell right but I can’t open my mouth to tell him, sleep captures me.

  Chapter 21

  Jenson

  “Terry, please tell me this is his address.” He shakes his head when he sits in the seat in front of me.

  “Cory it’s out of date but the number works. We are trying to get his address through that.”

  “I need something to come out of this quickly I promised her parents that I’d bring her home.” I say my face in my hands.

  “Cory.”

  “What is it Emily?” I say without lifting my head.

  “Did you get in touch with the other army rep who was here?”

  “He never answered the voicemail’s I left.” I sound defeated.

  “Well give me the number, maybe a little female persuasion will work better.”

  “Knock yourself out Emily.” I say and scribble the number down for her.

  Jodi

  What the fuck is going on? His arms around me makes me feel like crying. I can’t even get out of his hold. His breath on my neck makes my skin crawl. His hand pressed against the bare skin on my stomach makes me want to vomit and the fact I’m only in my underwear makes me feel like the worst person in the world.

  Emily

  “Hi, this is Emily, I was at the meeting for PTSD you held at High Hill golf club. I was wondering if I could see you again? I’m really not coping well with everything and can’t find anyone else to talk to.” I send the message; my body is shaking with internal laughter. I don’t feel like I have much to deal with compared to some and haven’t been stressing as much since I found these amazing bunch of similarly crazy people. When the ring tone on my phone goes I swear my heart jumps.

  “Hi Emily, sorry we have not been back in touch, we do have a group that are happy to come out and help your whole group we are just waiting on clearance.”

  “I just want to talk to you. I think you would be best for me after all this time. The way you spoke made it seem like your help would be what I need.” Surely playing on my emotions will help me.

  “I’ll help you but surely our team would be a better fix.”

  “No you would be perfect, I’m not sure I would be willing to talk to anyone else. My life has been a rollercoaster of emotions, strange men scare me but you seemed like the perfect fit. If you feel you need to transfer me I’d rather just stay with group sessions because honestly I don’t think I have it in my heart to reach out to anyone else.”

  “Emily, tell me a good time to meet and talk. I wouldn’t normally say yes but I won’t push you if you don’t want to talk to anyone else.”

  Hook, Line and Sinker every time.

  Jenson

  “You got what?” I ask even though I know she isn’t lying to me.

  “A little meeting with the other man.”

 
; “Seriously?”

  “You think I’d lie to you? He’s meeting me at a service station near his home. Told him I couldn’t cope with life right now.”

  “Damn Emily. You work fast.” I swear she takes a bow right there in front of me.

  “Thanks Cory. You are coming with me right?”

  “If you want me there, I’ll be there.”

  “Thank you. I know I organised this but I wouldn’t know how to go about getting Lance’s info from him without someone there.”

  “Shit, I honestly don’t want to involve you in this Emily. Give me the details and I’ll go myself.”

  “If he knows what Lance is up to and shows up and I’m missing but see’s you, he will know this is a set up. I’m sorry but I have to be there and you have to be there, but in the shadows ready to come out when he shows his face.”

  “So, when are you meeting him?”

  “Erm in about two hours.”

  “Fuck! Emily, man.” I grab some shit, it’s already seven at night and it takes two hours to drive to the damn service station or there about.

  “I know but I thought you would start stressing if I told you earlier. Let’s just go. There’s nothing to worry about; we are going to get him to tell us the address for his mate and then go grab Jodi and come home, ok?”

  I nod towards her, not voicing my fears while I grab the keys to my car. Pressing the fob to unlock the door, we both climb in.

  Chapter 22

  Jodi

  I watch him from the seat beside the bed. He sleeps most of the day away, I don’t want to leave because I don’t know what I did and I know if I go down stairs I’ll give myself to the gun that’s trained to me.

  “Come back to bed baby.”

  “I’m ok here.”

  “Stupid bitch, get back here now.”

  I’d rather crawl up in to a ball or be anywhere else right now to be fair but I walk around the room and climb into the bed. Lance drags me straight to his naked body and grinds himself against me, dragging down my newly resituated PJ pants.

  “Do you love me Jodi? You told me last night you did.”

  Shit shit shit.

  He flips me around and pulls my face up to his. “Tell me you love me, exactly like you did last night.”

  “I..I ca..an..n’t.” I stutter.

  “You could last night so you can now. Tell me.”

  Tears spill from my eyes at the tight grip he uses on my jaw line.

  “Tell me now Jodi.” His voice is laced with evil.

  “I loo..ove you.” I say, but it hurts my heart so much that I feel the last remaining shards breaking inside my chest.

  “You belong to me, do you understand?”

  I just nod there is nothing else I can do. I’m doomed; no one has come to save me; no one has even wanted to find me. The world is better without me. My friends and family are better off without me.

  Jenson

  I can’t see straight, I swear its auto pilot that got us to the service station where Emily has to meet this prick; Emily and I haven’t spoken a word the whole journey but I can tell she’s freaking the fuck out as much as I am.

  Yes, I don’t know if he was involved but he was ready to take my woman with that fucking asshole he was with. So in my eyes, he’s exactly on par with that fucking dick head.

  When a soft hand touches mine, it tears me away from the dark thoughts that have invaded my mind.

  “I know what you are thinking, Cory. I know that you blame him as much as you do Lance, but we need him to get to Lance. We need him on our side if he hasn’t picked already, and I need you to be there for me if it all goes wrong tonight. This scares me.”

  Shit man, I’m so self-absorbed that I never really paid any attention to Emily’s PTSD, just my own and Jodi’s. I am the worst sort of friend and mentor.

  “Emily?” I say turning to face her, looking straight at her scarred face. This girl has lived through a terror I have never faced. She lived through a man trying to kill her with acid which resulted in her being disfigured beyond belief. She was, I mean she still is beautiful but she was fucking amazing before his attack. Resulting in years of reconstructive surgeries and therapy and here I am sending her to a wolf again. “Please don’t do this, I can’t let you. I have to be the one to confront him. I can’t even believe I let it go this far I’m so sorry.”

  “Why? Why are you sorry? This was my choice, I’m not fucking sorry! I need my friend back. I need my friend as much as you need her back. This was my decision Cory; this was something I wanted to do. I’m not scared of him I’m scared of not succeeding and not getting Jodi home. I saw it in her, she wants to kill herself, she doesn’t want to be here and this,” she waves her hands around before continuing, “This will throw her over the edge if we don’t get her soon.”

  My heart stops.

  “What do you mean kill herself?” I ask terror riding in my voice.

  Emily

  I knew that had I screwed this whole thing up as soon as I let the words fall from my mouth.

  “What do you mean kill herself?”

  Fuck fuck fuck.

  “Emily, what do you mean?”

  “Nothing Cory, nothing. I know nothing.”

  “Bullshit! What the fuck are you trying to tell me?”

  “It’s nothing Cory, honestly.” I swipe the tears that have traitorously left my eyes.

  “Did she say that to you Emily?” The devastated look in his eyes makes my heart bleed for him as well as Jodi.

  “Cory, look at me please. She didn’t say it in so many words but I knew from the moment I met her that she was thinking about it. I could see it written all over her face.”

  “And you didn’t fucking tell me?”

  “Obviously not because she seemed to be doing better, she seemed to be happier.” It all seems so stupid now but she is my friend and it doesn’t matter what anyone says, my friends mean more to me than anything else, especially when I can count on one hand how many of those I have.

  “She fucking left Emily, she left us both and you still didn’t tell me.” He turns and stamps towards the service station leaving me with his anger and my betrayal eating away at me.

  Jenson

  I swear the feelings of betrayal course through my body as I open the main doors to the service station where Ford agreed to meet Emily at. When I see him my body starts to burn with disgust and betrayal, ten times worse than I’ve ever felt before. It’s like an out of body experience and I’m watching myself instead of being myself.

  “You fucking bastard.” I scream as I collide with him straight into the brick wall behind where he stands.

  “What the fuck?”

  “CORY STOP!” I hear her scream but I couldn’t give a fuck.

  “You and that prick stole my girl and now she’s missing, I want fucking answers dick head.”

  “This was a set up?” he asks towards Emily’s figure.

  “Shut the fuck up asshole. I’m talking to you not her.”

  “Cory, it doesn’t have to be this way. Let him go and we can all talk like normal people.”

  “Fuck you Emily, the minute you kept shit from me you were no longer on my side. This fucker is in cahoots with that bastard which also makes him on par with you. My loyalty lies with the innocent one in all of this. The person your fuck face friend swooped in and took, now fucking talk before I hand you over to people who will make sure your fucking army career is over and your fucking stripes are removed before you’re handed over to the MP’s.”

  “I didn’t fucking set shit up asshole. Jodi went with Lance of her own free will. They are together now. She was never yours to begin with.”

  “Together? Are you fucking stupid? He took her away from her family; she doesn’t know where she’s at because her PTSD is too advanced. She’s erratic, seeing things and doesn’t know who to trust. If he is sleeping with her, he’s taking advantage of someone who hasn’t got a real clue what is going on. You should fucking
know this shit. It’s your fucking job to know. You brought that shithead to my fucking meetings and then allowed him to take advantage of someone you knew to be very ill. I should fucking ring your superiors. Emily does want your help but not because you’re any fucking good, she wants her friend back. I just made sure I was here to get the information I need.”

  “You think you know her but you don’t, she’s fine now.”

  “Oh, so you have seen her? You have assessed her?”

  “No, but she’s with Lance so I don’t need to see her because he has told me.”

  “I want his fucking address dickhead. I want to be able to ask her for myself.”

  “No can do.”

  “Oh you fucking will.” I drag my phone from my pocket and hit dial on a number I never thought I’d ring again.

  “Hi, this is Cory Jenson; I’d like to report a couple of your officers for kidnapping and false imprisonment and also for fraud.”

  I watch Ford’s face drop.

  “The Cory Jenson? Man, its Captain Flynn, nice to hear your voice.” Shit this whole situation is mental. “Never thought I’d hear from you again.”

  “Hey Cap, how’s things?”

  “You got some names for me son? I can’t put in a report unless you give me names and since you’re not under me anymore, call me Eddie.”

  “Sure do. I have one of the fuckers here, shit sorry, erm yeah, Major lance Ivy and a Sergeant Ford.”

  “Lance was discharged following a few incidents I’m not privy to discuss. Sergeant Ford I can, though he’s head of our PTSD Team right now.”