Spinning Forward

by Terri DuLong

  “There,” he said, sitting beside me. “Now we can enjoy the sunset.”

  “I’ll fix the cheese and crackers.” Passing the plate to Noah, I settled myself into the corner, my back resting against the cushion, bending my legs up in front of me. Leaning my chin on my knees, I stared straight ahead as the speed of the sunset increased. “Almost gone,” I murmured and felt Noah’s hand stroke my upper thigh.

  “Only to return tomorrow,” he said. “That’s just one of the things we can always depend on. Sunrise and sunset.”

  Within a matter of seconds the orange ball dipped below the horizon out of sight.

  “Ah, another day gone.” I stretched my legs out in front of me and looked around. “It’s so quiet and pretty out here. I love seeing the island from the water. It looks different, doesn’t it?”

  I followed Noah’s gaze toward the shore and saw the tall water tower with Cedar Key written on it. To our right was Piney Point.

  “Yeah,” he said. “Being on the water changes one’s perspective in many ways, I think.”

  I continued staring at the sky, which had now become a canvas with streaks of bright pink, slashes of purple, and a deepening blue. “I’ve heard many people used to go to sea to think things out. Find answers. Do you think that’s true? That they found their answers, I mean?”

  Noah let his hand remain on my leg. “I believe that most of life’s answers are right here,” he said, pointing to his chest area with his other hand. “I think we all have to go within when we’re searching.”

  What he said reminded me of what Alison had said. “Have you done that?”

  “I think I did without consciously realizing it. When I went to Key West. I’ve come to realize that the years I spent there weren’t just about painting.”

  “And did you find your answers?”

  “I’m not sure yet,” he said softly, turning to pull me into his arms.

  That familiar heat radiated through my body as Noah bent his head to kiss me. This time I didn’t pull away, but allowed myself to sink into the feeling that was filling me. Returning Noah’s kiss, the thought occurred to me again that I’d never been kissed in quite this way. Certainly my body had never felt this consumed. I felt like I was riding a roller coaster and was quickly approaching the peak. Feeling Noah tug on my lower lip between kisses only increased my passion. When his tongue wrapped around mine, I pushed closer to his body. I could feel his erection through his jeans.

  No words were exchanged. While continuing to kiss me, Noah managed to remove my blouse, reaching for the clasp on the front of my bra. Lost in an intimacy I’d never experienced, I slid down on the long leather seat and removed my shorts. Noah’s face hovered above me as passion raged between us. “I want you,” I heard him whisper in a voice filled with huskiness, as I felt him remove his jeans.

  “Yes,” I whispered back. His weight was on top of me, filling me with an ecstasy I never thought possible. As his body merged with mine, I felt like I was diving down into the very core of my being. A place I’d never been taken before. A place that had no beginning and no end. That place in time that simply is.

  I realized that the moaning I heard was coming from deep inside of me. I heard Noah scream out my name as his thrusts increased and he grabbed my shoulders. And I knew that he had joined me in that single spot of the universe that suspends one’s body and one’s soul for the most exquisite of moments. Breathing heavily, I felt him lower himself onto me and bury his face in my hair. We stayed that way for a few minutes, savoring the oneness we had just shared. Turning on my side, I allowed him to stretch out the length of my body.

  “Oh, God, Sydney,” he moaned. I felt the impact of his words and understood their meaning as he pulled me tighter.

  The diving sensation had now transformed to that of floating. It was a few minutes before I realized we were on the boat and it was gently rocking from side to side. My finger traced the outline of his back. I expelled a deep breath and still, I didn’t speak. I stayed in his arms replaying in my mind the pleasure he had given me, while he indulged my solitude.

  Unsure how much time had elapsed, I felt a cool breeze drift across my body and shivered. Was it caused from the wind or my own contentment? “I never knew,” I whispered against Noah’s face. “I never knew that making love could be like that.”

  In answer, he held my face between his hands and kissed me.

  29

  A dream about water, cardiac surgery, and babies woke me at 5:00 A.M. I stayed in bed for a few minutes trying to hold on to shreds of the dream, but was unable to piece it together. My mind drifted to the night before.

  Making love with Noah had been an almost mystical experience—suspended in space. The water caused a placid swaying of the boat while the full moon created silver shadows above and around me. I’d lost track of time. We’d remained locked in each other’s arms and I had been shocked to see that three hours had passed since we’d left the dock.

  Turning on my side and burrowing into my pillow I smiled, remembering the intimacy we’d shared. Heading back to the dock I’d stood beside Noah, his arm around my shoulder. He’d left the boat at the city dock overnight and walked me back to my apartment holding my hand. I invited him in and we shared a cognac together before he returned home, telling me he’d call today.

  The ringing phone startled me, causing me to jump. I answered to hear Dora’s voice.

  “Sydney, I’m so sorry to bother you this early in the morning.”

  My eyes rested on the bedside clock. 5:25. “No, it’s fine. What’s wrong?”

  “It’s Sybile. She’s in the hospital and I’m really sorry to bother you—but I just needed somebody to talk to.”

  “I’m glad you called. Will she be alright?” I asked, before realizing what a silly question that was.

  “Well, she had a very bad time breathing last night. Saren was at the house with her and when it got worse around midnight, he insisted on driving her to Shands. I just spoke with him, and he said she’ll be there another day or so and they’ve started her on some new medication.”

  “Okay. Listen, I was half awake when you called anyway. I’ll throw something on and I’ll be over your house shortly, alright?”

  “Oh, that would be nice, Sydney. I’ll make breakfast for us.”

  I arrived at Dora’s front door, with Lilly’s leash in one hand and two blueberry muffins in the other. “I brought a couple of Ali’s muffins,” I told her. “Thought it would be good with coffee first.”

  Dora hugged me and led the way through the house to the patio. “This is so nice of you to come over,” she said, pouring coffee from the carafe she had on a tray.

  “So Sybile’s not doing so good, huh?” I asked, accepting the coffee mug and taking a sip.

  Dora shook her head. “Not really. I could see her breathing was getting worse, but oh no, she wouldn’t listen.”

  “Seems she listened to Saren.”

  “He always did have a way with her. I’m glad he was able to convince her to go to the hospital.” Dora absently patted Lilly’s head and stared out at the water. The air was thick with the scent of lantana. “How much longer do you think she has? The truth, Sydney.”

  “At this point, I honestly don’t know. She seemed to be doing pretty well. She’s been going out with Saren and I think that’s been good for her. The doctor had told her nine months to a year without treatment, remember?”

  “I still think she’s crazy not to at least try chemo. She’s just signing her own death certificate is what she’s doing.”

  I sighed, reaching over to pat Dora’s hand. “It’s her death certificate to sign. You have to allow her this. Unfortunately, it’s very difficult for you.”

  “Do you know what Saren told me yesterday? That’s she’s planning her own funeral. Did you ever hear of such a silly thing?”

  Despite the seriousness of the subject, I smiled. “Actually, I have heard of this, Dora. Some people want to make sure their
wishes are carried out—even after they’re no longer here. And you have to admit, Sybile plans to end her life the way she lived it. On her terms.”

  “Always trying to be in control. That’s Sybile.”

  “What does she have planned?”

  “I told her I didn’t want to hear about it, so I don’t know. Except that she wants to be cremated and her ashes scattered off Cedar Key.”

  I nodded, but the irony wasn’t lost on me. The woman who did everything possible to leave the island and forget everything about it now wanted to be a part of it forever.

  “Dora, the best thing we can do is support Sybile. Be there for her. We have no way of knowing how much time she has left.”

  Dora wiped her eyes with a tissue. “I know and I’m sorry to dump this on you.”

  “Don’t be silly. What’re nieces for?” I asked, eliciting a smile from Dora.

  “Come on. Sit with me in the kitchen while I make us a nice breakfast.”

  I perched on the bar stool and watched as Dora scrambled eggs, prepared grits, and buttered English muffins to place on the grill. The smell of sausage cooking filled the kitchen.

  “So Monica agreed to meet Sybile on Thursday?” she asked, while adding shredded cheese to the grits. “Marin’s excited about meeting her. Sybile invited both of us to the lunch, you know.” She stopped preparing the food. “Oh, gosh, do you think she’ll be home by Thursday?”

  “Sure she will. You said just another day or so, right?”

  Dora nodded. “But maybe we should have the lunch over here. It might be easier on Sybile.”

  “Let’s wait and see how she’s feeling. I think she’d like to meet her granddaughter for the first time in her own home.”

  “Yes, of course. You’re right. Well, we’ll leave it open as an option.”

  Dora piled a plate with eggs, grits, and sausage and placed it in front of me.

  “Gosh, I’ll have to call this brunch. I don’t usually eat this much for breakfast. It looks great.”

  Dora joined me at the counter. “So how’s Noah lately?”

  I felt heat radiating up my neck. Feeling like a schoolgirl with a secret, I mumbled, “He’s okay, I guess.”

  Dora’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought you were seeing him last night on that new boat of his.”

  I put my fork down and shook my head. “How the heck did you know that?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was a secret. I called you last evening and when I couldn’t reach you, I called Ali. I wanted to let you know that Sybile wasn’t doing good. I’m sorry if I intruded. Ali told me.”

  Dora’s feelings were hurt. “No, no, you’re not intruding,” I said, attempting to soothe my aunt. “I guess I’m just still not used to everyone knowing your business before you hardly do yourself.”

  “One of the scourges of living in a small town” was all that Dora said and continued eating.

  “It was nice. The sunset is even more spectacular from the water and it was a full moon. A perfect night to be out on a boat.”

  Dora nodded. “When I was younger, how I loved going out there. Being on that water clears a person’s head. Makes you feel like you’re alone in the universe,” she said.

  Not quite alone, I thought. “Well, then, you’ll have to take a ride with Noah and me sometime.”

  Dora’s face brightened. “Now that would be a lot of fun. I like Noah. Granted, I don’t know him very well, but he seems like a kind man. Not to mention pretty darn handsome.” Her face wore a sly grin.

  I laughed. “Why, I do declare,” I said, attempting a poor imitation of a Southern drawl, “if I didn’t know better, Aunt Dora, I’d say you have a crush on this man.”

  Dora waved her hand in the air. “Oh, don’t be silly,” she admonished, enjoying the teasing.

  I had a sudden flashback of Noah’s face hovering above mine—filled with desire. “But you’re right. He is pretty darn handsome, isn’t he?”

  While Saren was making Sybile comfortable on her return home, Noah was preparing supper for me in his garden.

  “This was really nice of you,” I said, watching as he turned chicken on the grill.

  “My pleasure. I figured with you being at the shop all day, it might be nice if you had a break tonight.”

  Noah went in the house, returning with a tray containing salad and rice pilaf. I removed lids from the plastic bowls. Taking a sip of wine, I smiled. I’d wondered if I’d feel awkward seeing Noah again after Saturday night. We took the boat out Sunday afternoon for some fishing and the moment I saw him pull up to the dock I realized it wasn’t awkwardness at all that I felt. Instead, warmth had spread through my body. Watching Noah performing the mundane tasks of preparing a meal, familiarity washed over me. Stephen had never attempted to cook a meal for us in our entire twenty-eight years together. Even when I wasn’t feeling well, he opted for takeout. Yet, observing Noah in this role created a feeling of rightness.

  “Soup’s on,” Noah said, joining me at the table. He flashed me a smile while placing the platter of chicken between us.

  That killer smile of his was as much of a turn on as his physical looks.

  “It smells wonderful.”

  “A very simple recipe. Lemon chicken.” Taking a breast, he placed it in my plate.

  Instinctively I felt myself biting my lower lip. Why did he do this? Make me feel like a five-year-old at the dinner table. It reminded me of my mother doing this when I was a child. Like I wasn’t bright enough to figure out which piece of meat to take. “Thanks,” was all I said.

  “How’s Sybile doing since she got home?”

  I picked up my knife, thinking, It’s a wonder he doesn’t cut the chicken for me, but said instead, “She’s a bit weak and tired. Overall she sounded pretty good when I spoke to her on the phone this afternoon.”

  Noah nodded. “This has to be so tough on everybody, especially you.”

  “I’d say it’s probably much harder on Saren and Dora. They’ve known her a lot longer than I have.”

  “True. But it’s never easy preparing for somebody’s death. I imagine Monica is looking forward to meeting her grandmother.”

  “She is. I’m beginning to realize it was more important to her than she let on over the years. I also think losing her father has made gaining a grandmother even more special.”

  Noah looked up from his plate. “But you’re happy you found Sybile, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, of course. I just don’t have any mother-daughter feelings toward her. It’s like she’s—like one of the patients I used to have in nursing. I can relate to her medical situation, but beyond that…”

  “That might change. And if it doesn’t, at least you’ve been given a chance to meet her and spend some time with her.”

  Changing the subject, I said, “So your party is next Sunday evening, right?”

  Noah nodded. “They’ll be about twenty people coming, if they all show up. By the way, I saw Paul today and invited him and Alison.”

  “Great. Yeah, I’d mentioned it to Ali this morning.”

  “And just to make it official—you will be my date, won’t you?”

  I smiled. “Hmm, can I think about that?” I teased.

  “As long as your answer will be yes.”

  30

  “That’s a pretty shade of blue. Who’s that sweater for?” Alison asked. When I remained silent, she said, “Oh, gee, let me guess. Could it be that male you’ve been keeping company with lately?”

  “You know damn well it’s for Noah,” I snapped.

  “I know. I just love getting a rise outta you. Isn’t it getting kind of warm for a sweater?”

  “Well, it won’t be this winter.”

  “Ah, now that sentence has volumes of meaning. So, I take it you plan to still be seeing Noah when winter comes?”

  I slipped my stitches onto a cable holder. “Who knows? We haven’t signed a contract to that effect, Miss Nosey.”

  Alison laughed. “Cri
pe, you were better in college at telling me your secrets. Now you keep everything to yourself. You’re no fun.”

  I joined Alison’s laughter. “That’s because I didn’t know any better back then. But really, who ever knows which way a relationship will go and where you’ll end up?”

  “Very true. Just always remember, Syd, you have to know where you’re at before you can end up where you’re going.”

  I glanced toward the gate and saw Noah walking toward us. Fluttering raced across my chest as I stuffed the knitting back in the bag.

  “Hey,” he said to both of us and without missing a beat, leaned over and touched my lips with his. “I was on my way home from the gallery and just wanted to stop and say hi.”

  I smiled up at him, but not before I caught the knowing look on Ali’s face. “Well, that was nice of you.”

  “I also wanted to wish you the best on the meeting with Monica and Sybile. I hope it goes well and Monica won’t be disappointed.”

  “I have no clue how that’ll go, but thanks.”

  “I have a few students coming by at seven, so guess I should get going,” he said, leaning down once again to kiss me.

  I watched him walk out of the garden and then my gaze shifted to Alison, who was sitting, chin in hands, looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. “What? Now what are you staring at?”

  Alison shrugged her shoulders. “Nothing. Nothing at all. Except I know when I see a couple with very strong feelings for each other.” Getting up from her chair, she ruffled the top of my hair. “And I think you’re beginning to understand the definition of those words deliriously happy,” she said, heading into the house.

  I sat staring at my daughter across the table. Monica had suggested coming to the island the day before our meeting with Sybile. It made me wonder if something was up. Alison had insisted on cooking dinner for the three of us the evening of Monica’s arrival. My daughter had just finished telling us all about her new condo and how much she thought she’d enjoy living and working in Gainesville.