If I Was Your Woman 3: A BBW Camden Love Story

by Mz. Toni

  “This ain't about Shante, this about my son,” I said before firing my gun and shooting her right between her eyes. I felt no remorse and no regret. From day one this bitch cared about nobody but herself, and the last straw was this shit. She had to go.

  “You good, bro?” my worker Rock asked.

  “Yeah, I'm straight. Call the clean-up crew and have them handle this,” I said before handing him a stack for his information.

  “Good look!”

  “Did y'all fuck this bitch?” I asked before leaving.

  “Naw, we didn't,” Rock replied.

  “Oh a’ight good, ‘cause that bitch got that death.” As soon as those words left my mouth the only nigga looking scared was the nigga Rock. I couldn't do shit but shake my head and keep it moving. Who the fuck smashes a crackhead raw?

  “My nigga, go get checked,” I said before leaving out with Mark.

  “I can't believe I had to kill her mom,” I said when I got into the car.

  “Man, it was either her or ya seed,” Mark said.

  “I don't know how Shante gone’ take this shit.”

  “You did this for her and ya son. Don't be feeling all bad and shit, you had no choice,” he said.

  Stopping by the all night gift shop, I got balloons and a bunch of other unnecessary shit for Shante. After getting her stuff, I wasted no time going to be with Shante and my son.

  “Where were you?” she asked.

  “I went to get you these,” I said with a smile.

  “Aww, aren't you sweet,” she said before smelling the flowers.

  “How you feeling?”

  “I feel okay. Daddy went to get me some candy and Camille just left.” she said.

  “Did my mama come up?”

  “You know she did. As soon as you left, and Camille told me how you and Marquese was acting a damn fool,” she said shaking her head.

  “Man, I can't stand that nigga.”

  “I like him,” she said pissing me off.

  “But…… I love you, Kasan,” she finished, causing me to smile. It had been so long since I’d heard her say that.

  “I love you too, Tae baby.”

  “I'm not saying we getting back together anytime soon, I got something to handle before we can do that, but just know that you're my first and only love.”

  “We need to talk!” Shante’s father said as soon as he walked in and saw me.

  “What’s up?” I said walking into the hallway.

  “Ain't shit that can happen pertaining to me and mine that I don't know about.”

  “A’ight?”

  “So you killed Shante’s sister and my baby mom?”

  “Hear me out,” I said pulling out my phone. When he heard the voice recording his jaws tightened.

  “Now I'm really mad you killed them, I should’ve handled that.”

  “Naw, this is my family now and I need to step up.”

  “You're a good man, Kasan and she loves you.”

  “I know she loves me and I know I fucked up, but I’ma fix this.”

  “I'm sure you will,” he said before walking back into the room with Shante.

  Chapter Twenty-Five (Shana)

  Things with me and Terrence have been so beautiful. I am officially engaged to be married. I know people are probably asking why, or saying maybe I should have waited, but when you know you just know.

  When I first got with Raymond I was young, naive and straight up dumb. I didn't know how a man was supposed to love a woman or know what was right or wrong, and when I finally figured it out I was already married with three beautiful babies.

  Terrence treats me like his queen. When I walk into a room full of bad bitches I know they mean nothing. I have no reason to feel insecure or nervous because he only sees me and in his eyes I am perfect. As I was deep into my thoughts, I heard a knock on the door. When I opened I instantly got scared.

  “Hello ma’am, are you Shana Adams?”

  “I am, is everything okay?”

  “Can we come in?” the officer asked. Moving to the side, I let them in, I already knew what this was about. A few days ago I went to the projects to give my mom a plate of food. I had been doing that for months without letting anyone know. When I got out there I couldn't find her anywhere and when I asked questions people were acting weird and wouldn't tell me anything. That same day I went down to the police station to file a missing person's report. I figured she was just somewhere getting high, but another part of me felt in my heart that something bad had happened.

  “So what’s this about, did you guys find my mother?”

  “Yes, we did.”

  “Oh, so she’s fine?” I asked.

  “No. I'm sorry to inform you, but your mother and sister were found shot dead in a dumpster in the Stockton Station Apartments.”

  “My sister?”

  “Yes, Angel Adams,” he said confirming her name.

  “Oh my God!” I screamed, breaking down crying. As I bawled my eyes out Terrence came running down the stairs and into the living room.

  “What happened, what’s wrong!” he asked while holding me.

  “My mama and Angel are dead,” I whispered.

  “We are so sorry about your loss, but we have to ask you some questions,” the detective said.

  “Okay,” I sniffled while still in Terrence’s arms.

  “Were they known to frequent that apartment complex?”

  “My mom was, but I don't know about my sister. We’re not that close, but I knew she was doing some sort of drugs and so was my mom so it isn't too surprising.”

  “Okay. Do you know of anyone who would want to hurt them?”

  “I don't know any names, but I'm sure there’s somebody who would want them dead. My mom was a thief and a liar and my sister was HIV positive and still sleeping with men,” I answered honestly.

  “Alright, we will try our hardest to find out who did this and why. Here’s my card, if you need anything just call,” he said before handing me his business card and leaving.

  “I can't believe this shit. I felt in my gut that something was wrong, but I never thought they would be murdered!” I cried out.

  “I'm so sorry, beautiful,” he said hugging me.

  “I have to call my sister,” I said grabbing my phone and dialing her number.

  “Hey sissy!” she happily said when she answered.

  “Hey, I have some bad news.”

  “What happened?” she asked with a worried tone.

  “They found ma and Angel shot dead.”

  “Oh wow…..,” she said surprising me.

  “Oh wow, that's all you have to say?”

  “What would you like me to say?” she asked with an attitude.

  “I want you to be hurt, shed some tears, I don't know, something!” I snapped.

  “I understand that you're hurting, but don't take it out on me, and don't expect me to feel the way you want me to feel!” she snapped before hanging up.

  “I don't fucking understand how someone can be so cold hearted!” I vented to Terrence.

  “From what you told me, she grew up with her mom, not you,” he said honestly.

  “That's true, but come on, that’s our mother’s and Angel was our sister.”

  “Shana, you don't know what that woman put her through while she was in her care, so try and be a little more understanding.”

  “You're right, babe.”

  “Are are you going to tell the kids?”

  “I guess I don't have a choice, even though they didn't know her. I don’t think I can plan and attend a whole funeral behind their backs.”

  “Yeah, well I'm here for whatever, whenever. Are you still handling business today?”

  “Yeah, I have to stop by the house. I have some pictures of Angel and my mama I want to get and then I’ll meet you at the club so we can go look at some venues.”

  “A’ight, but yo, I got you something,” he said with a smile.

  “What you get me?
You know I love surprises!” I said excitedly.

  He ran upstairs and when he came back down he sat a box in front of me. Wasting no time, I opened the box and was shocked by what I saw.

  “Nigga, is you crazy!”

  “No, I need you to be safe,” he said.

  “I ain't carrying around no gun!”

  “Well at least take the taser.”

  “We got kids, do you really think I’ma allow a gun in here?”

  “I already got five in here Shana, and before you go snapping they are locked in a safe.”

  “You know what Terrence, I’ma take this shit, but please believe I'm only taking it to get rid of it!”

  “You getting mad like ya ex didn't almost kill you a couple months ago.”

  “Don't you think I remember that? But still, I ain't walking around with no damn gun.” I said. Closing the box, I put it into my pocket book and went upstairs to finish getting ready. When I finished I walked down stairs to see Terrence still sitting there. I couldn't believe he got me a gun. I didn't believe in them and I didn't like violence at all.

  “I will see you later,” I said.

  “I wish you would walk out this fucking house without giving me some love!” his voice boomed.

  With a smile on my face I walked over to him and kissed him passionately. I knew he was only trying to keep me safe and I had no real reason to be mad at him. With just finding out my mama and sister were murdered, I wasn’t feeling any kind of weapons right now.

  I walked out the house, got in my car and headed to my house. When I got there I headed straight for my old bedroom. I looked in my closet and pulled out my shoe box that was filled with memories of when things were better. Tears fell from my eyes as I looked at a childhood picture of me, my mom, Angel and Shante. This picture was taken before the storm, when we were happy and my mama was a good mom. Shante doesn't remember those days, but I do. They didn't last long, but we had good days. Wiping my tears, I put the pictures back into the box and headed back downstairs to leave. When I went to open the front door I was met by Raymond, who looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks.

  “What are you doing here?” I said scared out of my mind.

  “Where you been at, Shana?”

  “What you mean?” I asked playing dumb.

  “Don't fucking play with me, I’ve been waiting weeks for you to come here and you haven't!”

  “Look, I have a lot on my mind, why would you even risk coming back here when you know the cops are looking for you?”

  “I know baby, that's why I been waiting here, so me, you and the kids can leave town.”

  “Leave town? I'm not going anywhere and neither are my children!”

  “Don't talk to me that way, Shana. I love you and I don't want to hurt you.”

  “I just found out my fucking mom and sister are dead and you come here with this bullshit!”

  “Wait, Angel is dead?” he asked with a smile.

  “Yes, you're smiling, but I'm stuck here left with the hard job of explaining to your fucking daughter and my niece that her mother is gone and never coming back!”

  “Man, fuck her! She ruined our lives and she is the reason I lost you.”

  “No, you're the reason you lost me. You fucked her, you lied and you got her pregnant!”

  I love you baby!” he said grabbing my hand and kissing it. I watched as his face turned red and his eyes turned black.

  “Get off me!” I snapped, yanking my hand away from him.

  “What the fuck is that, Shana?”

  “What?” I asked, playing stupid.

  “The ring. That isn't the ring I bought you!”

  “Terrence asked me to marry him and I said yes. For once in my life I'm happy. If you love me you would respect that,” I said as tears rolled down my eyes.

  “You ungrateful bitch!” he sneered and slapped me across the face. Stumbling, I hit the end table knocking down the lamp.

  “Raymond, don't do this, I don't deserve this,” I pleaded. Running behind my couch, I continued trying to talk some sense into him.

  “So you love that rough neck? The nigga that tried to kill me, who beat me, your husband, you love him?” he roared.

  “I do, and I can't lie to you about that. I am in love!”

  “Don't say that to me!” he snapped before rushing over to me, pulling me over the couch and grabbing my neck. As he choked the life out of me, all I could hear was him telling me how much he loved me and how he didn't want to do this. Then I thought about my family and how much I love them. I thought about Terrence and how our journey had just begun and I felt the need to fight. I scratched his face and dug my nails into his eyes, but that angry crazy strength had him like the incredible hulk and nothing I did was working. I saw my bag on the couch and I reached as far as I could until I got hold of the strap and pulled it closer to me. He was so worried about killing me he didn't notice when I grabbed the gun.

  When I pulled the trigger nothing happened. I had no clue how to use a damn gun or why it wasn't working. I reached into my purse and grabbed the taser. When I pushed the button he fell off of me. Jumping up, I studied the gun and realized the safety was on. When I took the safety off I aimed the gun at him.

  “So you gonna kill me?”

  “I don't want to, I just want you to leave me alone. I want to be happy.”

  “You can be happy with me,” he said walking towards me.

  “Raymond, I'm not fucking playing. Stay where you at!” I shouted.

  “You fucking bitch, all I’ve given you, all I’ve given up for you, I'm never letting you go!” he said with a evil look on his face.

  As he rushed towards me, I couldn't do anything but shoot. Even after he was hit he kept coming towards me, so I kept on shooting. When he was finally down I cried. I cried for the death of my ex-husband, I cried for the death of my children’s father, I cried for my children and niece who would no longer have him in their lives, and I cried for the death of a marriage I was never fully happy in. I grabbed my phone and called Terrence and waited for him to answer.

  “I went to leave and he was here and I had no choice, he was going to kill me!” I cried to Terrence when he answered.

  “Baby, calm down. Where are you, are you still at the house?”

  “Yes, I didn't know what else to do, he wouldn't stop,” I said through tears.

  “Don't worry, I'm on my way.”

  “Should I call the cops?”

  “No, just wait there!” he replied before hanging up.

  When Terrence arrived he wasn't alone, and as soon as he and the stranger walked in they went straight to work. When they finished, the body was removed and the house looked as if nothing had ever happened.

  Chapter Twenty-Six (Kasan)

  Since Shante has given birth to my son, things with us have been perfect. We have been spending a lot of time together and I could feel things wre going back to normal with us. The only thing stopping me from fully giving my all was that once again I was hiding something from her. I didn't want her to hate me, but I also didn't want to make the same mistake twice. She deserved to know what happened and what I was forced to do. Whether she hated me or if she let it go was a chance I was willing to take.

  “Can you feed him while I get in the shower?” she asked, looking beautiful. K.J. was a few months old and already she had lost almost all her baby weight and looking like the girl I had met years ago.

  “Yeah I got you, go wash that funky ass,” I said with a laugh before grabbing the bottle from her. She gave me the finger and went into the bathroom.

  Before I could feed him, my phone rang and when I answered it I heard what I had been waiting to hear for months. I hung up and focused back on my son. As I fed him I decided that tonight would be the night I told her what went down. When she got out the shower I had already fed, changed and put K.J. to sleep.

  “Thanks, I needed that,” she said sitting next to me on the couch.

  “Can you believ
e we had a baby?” she said with a smile.

  “Hell naw, the shit is crazy as hell,” I said laughing.

  “Yeah, but he is so beautiful.”

  “That he is, but I got something to talk to you about.”

  “What’s up?”

  “The night you gave birth to K.J., I received a voice recording from one of my workers,” I said before pulling out my phone, going to the recording and pressing play. As she sat confused, she listened to her sister and mother planning the kidnapping of our son. She listened as her sister talked about still killing him even after she had the money. I could see the tears fall from her eyes, but I could also see the anger and hate dancing around her eyes.

  “They better be lucky someone got to them before I could.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I'm trying to tell you. It was me and Mark that got to them,” I said nervously.

  “You and Mark killed them?” she asked with confusion.

  “I’m sorry, Tae baby. I knew if I didn't they would keep coming back.”

  “Thank you for telling me,” she said nonchalantly.

  “I didn't want to lie or keep something this important from you, I learned from my mistakes,” I said honestly.

  “I'm not mad at you for what you did, I’m just mad it wasn't me who did it. When Shana told me they were killed I felt no remorse or sadness, I felt nothing but relief.”

  “I have something else to tell you.”

  “Oh lawd, here we go. Spit it out.”

  “I need you to get dressed. I have something I want to show you,” I said while getting K.J. dressed.

  “Why you keeping secrets, just tell me what’s going on?”

  “I will, but go get dressed first please,” I said.

  When she walked into the bedroom, I put K.J. into his car seat and prepared him to be dropped off at my mama’s house. When she walked out she had sweatpants and a Nike shirt on and we hopped in the car. After dropping the baby off, I headed straight for the warehouse.

  “Come on now, talk to me,” she said.

  “Keisha came to my house asking for money. I didn't give her shit and I told her to get away from my house.”

  “You didn't kill her?”

  “Naw, ya dad told me to leave her be. Come to find out Camille knew where she was. Don't be mad at her because she really wanted to tell you, but you had just had the baby and she knew you would’ve done something crazy. She told Los and he told me and since then we’ve been watching her,” I explained pulling up to the warehouse.