Christmas Under a Starlit Sky

by Holly Martin

  Oakley had refused to let her go to work when she had mentioned it earlier, saying she needed to rest. She had ignored his protests and come over to the main building anyway, leaving him muttering to himself words that sounded like, ‘We’ll see about this.’

  She stepped out of the dining room, taking her mug of tea with her, and bumped into Pip.

  ‘Neve, I can’t stop, I’m following a couple around the island this morning. I think he’s going to propose so he has hired me to follow them and take lots of photos. But listen, are you OK? Me and Gabe have been so worried about you. What’s going on with you and Oakley?’

  ‘I...’ Neve trailed off. How could she even begin to explain how stupid she had been? She had no idea where she and Oakley stood either. He hadn’t left, but it didn’t seem like they were together any more. ‘I have no idea but maybe we can catch up later this afternoon when you have more time and I can tell you all about it.’

  ‘I’d like that,’ Pip said. She gave Neve a quick hug and ran out the door.

  Neve walked past the reception area and up to the first floor, where all the offices were. She walked into her office, switched on her computer and tried to log in. The computer beeped plaintively, informing her the password she had typed in was incorrect.

  Neve sighed, rubbing her head, which was starting to ache already. She had changed the password just recently and she tried to remember what she had changed it to. She tried the computer again but still couldn’t log in.

  There was a soft knock on the door and Adam walked in. She smiled when she saw him – he always made her feel better.

  ‘Hey, how you feeling?’

  ‘I’m fine, a bit sore, but fine, I promise.’

  ‘That’s good and I hear you’re pregnant, is that true?’

  ‘Yes. A little boy.’ Neve took a swig of her tea.

  He smiled. ‘Congratulations. Is he mine?’

  She nearly choked on her mouthful of tea and then burst out laughing. She had known Adam for over eight years. They had become really good friends over the years but never in the whole time since they had known each other had they shown any interest in each other. She didn’t fancy him in the slightest and they’d never even kissed so for him to ask that question was completely out of the blue.

  ‘Yeah, I didn’t think so,’ Adam said. ‘I felt sure that I would have remembered if we had slept together. But I saw Oakley shortly after your fall and he seemed to think the baby was mine. Now where would he get that idea from?’

  The smile fell from her face. She’d forgotten that with the lie she had told she had inadvertently implicated Adam. Fortunately, he didn’t seem too bothered by it.

  ‘Oh God, was he mad at you?’

  ‘Well, let’s see… He pinned me to the wall and threatened to kill me. Then he proceeded to ask me if I intended to do the right thing by you and marry you.’

  ‘I’m so sorry. It’s all been a horrible misunderstanding. What did you tell him?’

  ‘I said that this was the first I knew about a baby and that I needed to speak to you. Want to tell me what’s going on? Why does he think the baby is mine?’

  ‘Because I told him it isn’t his and he assumed that the baby must be yours. He’s always been convinced that something is going on between us. He says men and women can’t be friends,’ Neve said.

  ‘We’ve done OK so far but that aside, why on earth would you tell him the baby isn’t his? Wait, it is his, isn’t it? You haven’t been with someone else up here, have you?’

  ‘Of course it’s his. There has been no one else. He had been telling me how much he loved his new job, how wonderful it was, and when I told him I was pregnant you should have seen his face. I’ve never seen anyone look so scared before. He didn’t want our baby and I couldn’t bear our son growing up with a dad who hated him. I didn’t want to do anything that might ruin his career and his dreams so I told him the baby wasn’t his so he wouldn’t feel obligated to stay with me and end up resenting me.’

  Adam stared at her in shock and didn’t say anything for the longest while. Eventually he sighed.

  ‘When my sister was pregnant, she completely lost her marbles. Before Oliver was born Taylor used to be a lecturer at university, teaching biology; she is one of the cleverest people I know. But when she was pregnant she lost all ability to make any kind of decision. I remember sitting with her in a restaurant once and she cried for a full fifteen minutes because she couldn’t decide what to order and there was too much choice. And that was after she had turned up late because she had cried over trying to decide what to wear. When Taylor did make decisions, she made bad ones. Like giving her credit card details to some guy on the street because he was supposedly raising money to build an animal sanctuary in Talakstan.’

  ‘Talakstan?’

  ‘Yes, you don’t need to look it up, it doesn’t exist. And then there was the time she agreed to look after a colleague’s pet while they were on holiday without checking what kind of pet it was first and ended up babysitting an eight-foot python for a week when she hates snakes. Taylor lost all her common sense and rationality, she forgot dates, meetings, which drawer of the freezer she kept the bread in. She went to work once with odd shoes, one purple, one green. Quite simply, she went doolally. So I understand that you weren’t perhaps thinking straight when you made the decision to lie to the man you love about his paternity to your unborn child.’

  ‘I did it for him,’ Neve protested. ‘This wasn’t selfish or malicious. He didn’t want a baby so I let him go.’

  ‘And that’s very noble. But he has a right to know he is going to be a father and he has a right to choose for himself whether he wants to be part of that kid’s life. Even if that means that Oakley only pops over here once a year with exorbitantly expensive presents.’

  ‘He said if the baby was his he would have stood by me and married me. But I didn’t want a relationship based on loyalty, I want one based on love. I wanted him to want to stay with me and the baby.’

  ‘And you think he doesn’t love you?’

  Neve stared down at the engagement ring that proved that he did.

  ‘OK,’ Adam said slowly when her silence answered the question for him. ‘You tell him you don’t need to be married to him for this to work. That he can see the child whenever he wants. You’re a strong person, Neve. You can raise a baby on your own. If you stayed here your brothers would help you, Pip too, your mum and dad whenever they came to visit. I’d help you and I expect everyone in the village would help as well. Or if you wanted to move closer to Oakley, not with him but close to him, then Oakley could see his son any time he wanted to and maybe in time he would realise how much he is missing out by not being in the boy’s life full-time and he would choose that life with you instead of feeling like he was forced into it. Oakley asked you to marry him, he obviously loves you. He probably just needs a little time to get used to the idea that marrying you means being a dad too. But let him have that choice.’

  ‘What can I do? Tell him I lied to him? He’d be furious.’

  ‘And how furious do you think he’ll be when your son asks about his dad in a few years’ time, says he’d like to meet him, and you give Oakley a call and tell him the truth. How mad do you think Oakley will be then when he has already missed out on so much of his son’s life? You’re not thinking about this logically. Do you want my advice?’

  ‘Not if it involves sex. Your solutions to most problems involve sex. This is how we ended up in this situation in the first place – because you told me to sleep with Oakley and see if we had any real spark beyond sex.’

  ‘And did you?’

  ‘Yes, of course we did. I fell completely and utterly in love with him, but we’d never have known that if I hadn’t slept with him in the first place.’

  Adam chuckled and shook his head at Neve’s logic and even with her pregnancy hormone-addled brain she could see her argument was flawed.

  ‘Well, you’re not going to like th
is advice any more but I think you should get naked, make love to him and while you’re in the throes of passion, just slip it into the conversation then. Men can rarely get angry during sex.’

  Neve laughed.

  ‘Look, in all seriousness, yes, he’ll be angry but he’ll appreciate the sentiments behind the reason you did it and then at least he can choose for himself rather than having the decision made for him.’

  Neve let her head fall into her hands. It was such a mess.

  ‘What a tangled web we weave,’ Adam said, picking up the phone and dialling out. He spoke to whoever was on the other end. ‘Yeah, she’s here.’ He put the phone down and she looked at him in confusion.

  ‘Who was that?’

  ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  Neve sighed, and joggled the mouse on the computer, needing the distraction of work so she wouldn’t have to think about how stupid she had been. ‘I can’t log in to my computer, has something happened to the system?’

  ‘No, your password has been locked out. Gabe doesn’t want you to work until the New Year. You have the week off so go and enjoy yourself with your lovely man and have lots of hot sex.’

  ‘What? That’s ridiculous.’

  ‘Not really. You’ve had a bad fall, you were rushed to hospital unconscious, you’ve broken your wrist. You probably have concussion. Your little son probably had the shock of his life so you need to comfort him by eating lots of cake and chocolate and putting your feet up.’

  ‘I do not have concussion – if that was the case the hospital would have kept me in. And you can’t just kick me out of my job for a week. If I think I’m fit enough to return to work then that’s down to me.’

  ‘Judging on what you’ve told me this morning, I don’t think much of your decision-making skills at the moment. You’re no good to me like this.’

  ‘I’m the manager, you’re the assistant manager,’ Neve said, marvelling how everything was unravelling beyond her control.

  ‘Yeah, pulling rank doesn’t work on me.’

  ‘Adam, there’s loads that needs to be done before the New Year’s Eve ball. I can’t leave you with all that.’

  ‘Not really. The great thing about taking over from you is that you’re so bloody efficient and organised, everything was planned months ago. The boys are down at the ice palace now, taking down Santa’s Grotto and rearranging everything ready for the ball. The kitchens are all prepared with food and drink. There really isn’t a lot for me to do.’

  ‘I’m not leaving,’ Neve said, folding her arms across her chest.

  ‘Yes, I figured you’d say that, that’s why I just called security to have you removed.’

  This was getting sillier by the minute. ‘We don’t have security here. We’re a tiny hotel on the tiniest northernmost island in Scotland, we don’t have problems that require a security guard.’

  ‘Gabe hired one this morning.’

  Just then there was a knock on the door and Luke walked in, dressed all in black and wearing the obligatory security sunglasses. He was the biggest man Neve had ever known, almost as broad as he was wide, and at nearly seven foot tall that was saying something.

  ‘Miss Whitaker, if you’d like to come with me, I’ll escort you off the premises,’ Luke said, without raising a smile.

  ‘No, this is stupid. If you want me to leave my office, you’re going to have to make me.’

  Luke didn’t hesitate as he moved round the desk and lifted Neve in her chair and carried her and the chair out of the office. Adam stood and waved at her as she was forcibly removed, a huge grin on his face.

  ‘Put me down this instant,’ Neve protested, though fighting against Luke was quite clearly a waste of time. As they approached the top of the stairs, she stopped struggling and shouting in case any of the guests heard her.

  When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Oakley was waiting for her and he suppressed a grin as Luke approached him.

  ‘I believe this belongs to you,’ Luke said, passing the chair and Neve straight into Oakley’s arms. ‘Please make sure she doesn’t escape again.’

  ‘I will.’

  ‘Tie her up, if need be.’

  ‘Hey. I am here! Don’t talk about me over my head like I can’t hear you,’ Neve said.

  Luke shrugged and moved to stand as a blockade across the front of the stairs in case she tried to make a run for the offices again.

  Oakley put her down and offered a hand to help her up.

  ‘Is this your doing?’ She scowled at him, refusing to get off the chair.

  ‘I might have had something to do with it.’ He offered out her coat and she took it. ‘Come on, let’s go for a walk.’

  She continued to scowl at him.

  ‘Come on, I’ll buy you some chocolate truffles. I know you love them and apparently the chocolate shop in the village makes a wicked version. Have you tried any yet?’

  She shook her head as she stood up and slipped on her coat. ‘I haven’t had time.’

  ‘Then I’ll treat you. Look, you take a few days off, take it easy and once Gabe is happy you’re OK, I’m sure he’ll let you go back to work then.’

  Neve walked out the door, reluctantly conceding that it would be nice to have a day or two off work. She still ached a lot and sitting at her desk all day was going to aggravate that. She also couldn’t remember the last time she’d had any time off at all, so maybe she’d make the most of it. But she wouldn’t tell Oakley that she was happy with this arrangement.

  As she reached the top of the steps down from the front entrance, Oakley took her arm and guided her down.

  ‘Your track history with stairs isn’t great.’

  She flashed him another scowl but his huge smile showed he was completely impervious to it.

  ‘I need to go and check on Shadow and Knight before we go to the village. I haven’t seen them for a few days, though I know Luke would have made sure they were OK.’

  ‘Sure, no problem. It’ll be good to see the boys again, just show me the way.’

  Snow was still falling thick and fast and silence fell over them as they walked down the track towards the stables, the only sound the gentle patter of snowflakes against the wet, cold ground.

  Neve didn’t know what to say to him. She was still half expecting him to get on the next plane and leave her alone. Why would he stay if he didn’t see a future together any more?

  Eventually, when the stables were in sight, she spoke. ‘Why are you being so nice to me?’

  Oakley didn’t say anything for a while.

  ‘I loved you, Freckle, I probably still do. I’m having a hard time forgiving you at the moment. Judging by how far along you are, you must have got pregnant seconds after I left and that thought just makes my blood go cold. Maybe you didn’t love me at all if I meant that little to you that you would jump into bed with Adam so quickly. I don’t know if I can get past that. But I feel guilty that I shouted at you seconds after you told me you were pregnant, I feel guilty that it was partly my fault you fell down the stairs. And. . . I still care about you. I want to look after you. I’m only here for a few more days and then. . .’

  ‘And then?’ Neve prompted. She wanted to know if they had any future at all.

  ‘I go back to California and. . .’ he trailed off again.

  He left the words he clearly wanted to say unspoken. She would stay here and they’d probably never see each other again. Pain seared through her chest at the thought. She needed to tell him the truth but that wasn’t going to be an easy conversation to have.

  ‘I didn’t sleep with Adam,’ she said quietly.

  He stopped walking. ‘What? Who did you sleep with?’

  ‘No one, I—’

  ‘No one? Christ! At least when I thought you’d slept with Adam, I could sort of understand that you were looking for comfort from a friend. I think that makes it even worse that you got drunk in a bar and just slept with some completely random man. Did you even catch his name before you
let him put his hands on you?’

  Neve stared at him in shock. ‘Hang on, that’s a bit judgemental. Before we met you used to meet girls in bars all the time and sleep with a different one each night.’

  ‘Yes, before I met you, before I fell in love with you. You were supposed to be in love with me too and you just jumped into bed with a complete stranger.’ He looked down at her as if he didn’t know her at all before he strode off.

  She stared after him and then ran to catch him up. ‘Wait, you’ve misunderstood—’

  ‘Does the baby’s father know he’s about to become a dad?’

  ‘No,’ Neve said truthfully, cursing herself.

  ‘Are you going to tell him?’

  ‘I’m trying. I made a terrible mistake and I’m trying to put it right. Will you stop walking and listen to me?’

  He stopped and looked at her but over his shoulder Neve suddenly spotted one of the guests outside the stables.

  The young girl Neve knew was called Poppy was in a wheelchair and Neve thought she was about twelve years old. She’d seen her about the place always with a big smile on her face and, as she watched, Poppy leant up to stroke Shadow, her beautiful black stallion.

  Neve left Oakley’s side and ran down the track towards the stables. Although Shadow had never bitten anyone before, Neve didn’t totally trust him around people. He was grumpy, temperamental, easily spooked too. If he had been human, he would have been a stroppy teenage boy with an attitude problem. He responded to her, listened to her every command, but she’d never let anyone else ride him until earlier that summer when Oakley had ridden him. Oakley had a complete affinity with horses and Shadow had responded to him like a puppy responding to his master. If Shadow could have rolled over so Oakley could stroke his belly, he probably would have. Where Shadow tolerated Neve, he adored Oakley.

  With his long-legged stride, Oakley ran past Neve towards the stables, clearly recognising the potential threat too.

  ‘Hey there.’ Oakley called and Neve saw Poppy and her mother turn towards him and then both their eyes widen in surprise at the Hollywood star fast approaching them.

  Oakley took Shadow by the head, stroking him, and by the time Neve arrived, Shadow was nuzzling into his arms. Neve rolled her eyes at the transformation.