The Truth About Toby

by Cheryl St. John

  She wrapped her arms around his back and her breathing came in uneven bursts against his cheek. She pulled him closer like she couldn’t get enough of him. The feeling was mutual. He wanted her, body and soul.

  He brought a hand between their bodies to touch her, and she gasped against his mouth. Instinctively she raised one leg aside his hip to give him access, and he leaned her back against the tiled wall.

  She exhaled in shaky pants against his jaw, an incoherent word escaping here and there.

  “Raise your other leg,” he coaxed.

  She obeyed, grasping him around the neck and helping him ease inside her. “Oh, Austin...”

  Her nipples pebbled tightly with her excitement. He held her hips securely with one arm and rubbed the other palm across the hard peaks.

  Fierce pleasure shone on her flushed face, and he felt the surging tension in her limbs.

  Austin didn’t know how much longer he could hold back. She felt so good, and her vivacious energy spun him to the edge. “Tell me when,” he groaned.

  Eyes closed, limbs taut, her body tensed and she dug her nails into his shoulder. “Now.”

  The most liberating word in the English language.

  Austin cupped the fleshy globes of her bottom and rapturously surged into her straining body. She cried out and clung to him, and he rode the wild crest of pleasure in her wake.

  Water pounded his shoulders.

  Minutes passed.

  Their breathing calmed.

  “Good thing we didn’t try this at my place,” he said finally.

  She stirred against his neck. “Why?”

  “Hot water would have run out long ago and we’d have frozen to death.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  He eased her thighs from his waist. “You don’t?”

  She shook her head with a grin. “We generated enough heat to not notice.”

  “Trust me. We’d have noticed.” He turned and rinsed quickly, then stepped from the shower and grabbed towels.

  When she shut off the water and stepped out, he enfolded her in a towel and his embrace. Blotting her hair, he kissed her temple and hugged her close.

  “I’ve never known anything like this,” she said, her cheek against his chest. “Like what we have together.”

  “Neither have I,” he admitted.

  “Have you ever been in love, Austin?”

  The question caught him off guard. He stroked her hair. “Once.”

  “What happened?”

  “I was young. Twenty maybe. Horny. She was doing a thesis on extrasensory phenomenon. She found out a little more about me than she was comfortable with. After a while she was afraid of me. I confronted her with it. She got defensive, called me a freak, and that was that.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It was a long time ago.”

  “It hurt you.”

  “I got over it.”

  “Did you?”

  “Yeah.”

  She pulled back and looked up at him. “Then why did you run away?”

  “I didn’t run away from her. Or from that one experience. I ran away from all of it. The researchers. The institute. Tom. The cases.”

  She flattened her palms on his chest. “The victims and their families.”

  “Especially them.”

  “I understand.”

  “I know you do.” And he did. For the first time in his life, someone shared and understood the nightmares this ability brought with it.

  But as with Tom and even Ken, he was providing something for her that she still couldn’t do herself. She’d needed him. And he’d been just lonely enough to become entangled, regardless of what would happen.

  Her whole objective had been to find her nephew. He didn’t believe she’d used him or bribed him in any way. What they’d shared and her responses were too genuine to be anything other than mutual attraction.

  But whether she found Toby or not, she had a life to go back to. A life filled with people and objects and things he wasn’t willing to deal with day after day. Just these few days in crowds and motel rooms had been enough for him. He was ready to go home.

  This was why he’d protected himself for so long.

  But Shaine Richards, with her hopeful search, her quirky smile and her seductively long legs, had broken through years of self-protection and unlocked that place of need deep inside.

  He would never be the same.

  But he would know that he was capable of something he’d never before allowed himself to discover.

  He could love.

  Chapter 15

  His hair had grown a shade darker, but he still flashed the same dimpled grin. Toby. She’d know him anywhere, no matter how old he was. He sat on the wooden edge of a sandbox, a baby playing in the sand at his feet.

  The other child’s hair was dark, his hands and legs chubby like Toby’s had been once. The tiny boy poured sand on Toby’s tennis shoe with a plastic shovel and laughed aloud when Toby pretended to get mad.

  A horn sounded and both boys looked up.

  “Daddy!” the small one squealed, and Toby had to help him over the side of the sandbox so he didn’t fall on his face in his excitement.

  He stayed where he was, watching the child greet his father, turning to intently observe the bird’s nest on the limb of the towering tree above.

  “I brought something for you,” the man said, and Toby looked down, discovering the man’s long shadow on the grass.

  “You did?”

  “Want to see?”

  He nodded and turned.

  He took the heavy ball of tissue paper and unwrapped a sliced geode. Thousands of purple crystals shimmered in the midday sun that filtered down through the leaves. He raised an uncertain blue gaze. “Cool.”

  More than anything he wanted to hug the man who already held the other little boy against his chest. He longed to feel that same security, be a part of what they shared “Thanks,” he managed.

  “You’re welcome. Coming in?”

  “Sure.” He stood, and the man’s hand rested on his shoulder.

  Without having to say more, they turned toward the house.

  When they reached a wide porch, the man set the boy down and he tottered noisily across the wooden boards toward the door. The man turned back to Toby and, without a spoken word, folded him against his chest.

  It felt good It felt warm and secure and right, and not at all babyish like he’d been afraid

  “I’m gonna put this with my other one, ” he said, pulling back and clutching the precious rock in both hands.

  “Okay.”

  “C‘mon, Daddy!” the toddler sang out. “C’mon Toby!”

  “We’re coming,” the man replied, and reached his hand down. “C‘mon, son.”

  Shaine rolled to her back, and opened her eyes to blink into the velvety darkness of the unfamiliar room.

  “A dream?” Austin asked from beside her.

  As usual, his alertness surprised her. “How did you know?”

  “I can tell. It wasn’t bad, was it?”

  “No. It was strange. But it wasn’t bad.”

  “Was it... What kind was it?”

  “Knowing.”

  “What happened?”

  “Toby was older. Four maybe. And a baby boy was with him.”

  “A playmate?”

  “Smaller. Like a brother. He felt like a brother.” Which they both knew was impossible since Maggie was dead and no one knew who Toby’s father was. An adoptive brother? One wherever he would be living in the future?

  “He was happy. Content. And loved.”

  “That’s good.”

  “I just...”

  “What?”

  “I couldn’t see who he was with. I want it to be me, but—I’m still afraid I might not find him.”

  His hand located hers resting on top of the sheet.

  “I’d be able to live with that now that I’ve seen he’s happy,” she said into the darkness. “Y
ou gave me that peace.”

  “Not me.”

  “Yes. You taught me how to use my vision, and because of that I worked past those first awful dreams into the future, and I would be all right with this much.”

  “Where’s your hope?”

  A long minute passed. A siren screamed in the distance. “I don’t know.”

  “We’re going to find him, Shaine.”

  “You believe that?”

  “I want to believe that.”

  She pulled his fingertips to her lips. “Even if we didn’t find him, I’d always be grateful I took off for the mountains looking for an old recluse.”

  She knew he smiled.

  “Glad I found him, too.”

  His stubbled chin touched her bare shoulder.

  Austin breathed in her sleep-warmed skin, detected the soft flowery fragrance of her freshly washed hair and pressed his lips to the satin smooth skin of her shoulder. The next few days would be the pivotal point in this search. And in this relationship.

  He fell asleep with her alluring scent pervading his senses, and he awoke to the shrill ring of the phone.

  “Allen,” he said gruffly.

  “Austin.”

  Ken’s voice brought him alert instantly. “What did you get?”

  “Amy Cutter. Reported missing from Thomas County, Kansas, the day before Maggie’s death and Toby’s disappearance. The mother was eighteen, living with a girlfriend. The baby came up missing when she checked on her after an afternoon nap. She had to be sedated for several days and is still in counseling.”

  Austin didn’t need to be told of the mother’s distress. He’d experienced it firsthand. Ken was, however, confirming his sighting.

  “We have a case,” Ken stated.

  “Kidnapping.”

  “Thomas County is in the upper left corner of the state, a hop, skip and a jump out of the way from Silver City to Omaha. A well-laid plan.”

  “Incredible,” Austin said, lying back and rubbing his eyes.

  “And I have a good hunch that if we can track down Amy Cutter, we’ll find Toby Richards.”

  “It’s that place in Arizona, Ken. That’s where they fence the kids. Did you check it out?”

  “I have two men there right now.”

  “Good. Let me know. I’ll be back in Omaha today.”

  “I’ll call you there.”

  Austin hung up and noted the sun streaming through the crack in the drapes. Shaine still slept soundly. He’d get up, grab a run and a shower before she woke.

  Watching her sleep, he considered his options. How long could they go on like this? The closer they grew to one another, the harder it would be to part when the time came. And that time sped imminently closer.

  The wisest thing he could do would be to back off now. Chalk up the great sex and this insane need for her to a fleeting loss of good sense and move on.

  Was he wise enough? Was he strong enough?

  He had to be. She had established a great life for herself. She’d worked hard to get the inn operating, and she loved it. The Pruitts were wonderful friends.

  This last week only reinforced how impossible it was for him to live anywhere but in the mountains. He’d been a solitary man for as long as he could remember. Up on his mountain, away from the people who made up this society was the only way he could survive. He’d been inside too many sickos’ heads, seen too much through their eyes and their senses to want any part of living among them.

  Though his intuition occurred in a part of his brain that had no language, and he couldn’t explain it, he’d learned to trust it. He knew he wouldn’t be able to live the way she did.

  His adoring gaze took in the sweep of her long lashes against her creamy-skinned cheek, and he thought of the color of her eyes when they were lit from within with passion. He studied the perfect symmetry of her bow-shaped lips, knowing how soft and utterly kissable they were. The scent of her hair stabbed him with insatiable desire.

  He reached as if to touch her face, stroke her hair, but drew his hand back.

  There was no way he could expect such a vibrant young woman to cut herself off from humanity. Besides, he hadn’t been fooling about believing they would find Toby. When she had her nephew with her, Austin’s importance would fade. Even if it didn’t, the boy would need to go to school, and the Colorado mountain roads were treacherous in winter.

  One or both of them would regret letting things go this far. He was to blame. He’d known the impossibility of it all, but as soon as he’d touched her and stopped letting his head do the thinking, he’d lost his grip.

  Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe she was still operating out of gratitude and physical attraction; those were both normal motivations. Maybe it wasn’t too late to prevent her from being hurt when their liaison ended. It was entirely possible that he was the only one who’d leapt off the deep end and fallen in love.

  Perhaps Shaine Richards’s feelings could still be spared.

  He could only hope.

  Austin explained Ken’s findings on the way to the airport.

  “So they’re actually looking for this Cutter child?” she asked as they checked their bags and waited for their flight.

  “Yes. She was reported missing the day before Maggie’s death. Toby was assumed dead, and there was no evidence of foul play. But this kid disappeared out of her crib.”

  “How fortunate for her.”

  She knew her sarcasm was ugly, but the whole thing was so unfair. No one had ever even looked for Toby.

  They boarded and found their seats. The flight attendant brought them juice and flirted with Austin.

  “Amy’s going to lead us to Toby,” he said sometime later.

  “You’re right. This is our only chance now.”

  “Not the only one. Just the best one.” He opened a trade magazine, but seemed to grow tired. He hadn’t slept much at all. He probably couldn’t wait to get home to his quiet haven and his view of the heavens.

  “Why don’t you lean back and close your eyes?” she suggested.

  He did. And before long, his breathing grew deep and even. Shaine had never watched him sleep before. He was such a light sleeper, and she just the opposite. She was careful not to wake him, and he slept the rest of the flight.

  “We’ll be landing soon.” The attendant stopped beside him and laid her hand on his.

  Austin’s eyes opened.

  The attendant’s eyes widened and her hand jerked away like she’d been pricked with a needle.

  They stared at one another until the flustered young woman straightened and hurried away without another word or a backward glance.

  He rolled his head and his dark eyes met Shaine’s.

  “What just happened?” she asked.

  “My perceptions are a little unguarded when I’m asleep. I’m not always able to make sure the switch is off.”

  “You saw something?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What about her? Why did she look so funny?”

  “I’m not sure. It’s kind of an electrical impulse, like when one of us touches an object. But I don’t know if people’s minds are able to sort through the impulses and recognize what’s happened or not. They must know something, because the experience gives them the willies.”

  Another painful reason why Austin Allen had closed himself off from the world. Another reason why she disliked herself for bringing him away from his place of safety and opening him up to the very things he’d determinedly left behind.

  Another reason she’d never be able to repay him.

  They refastened their seat belts and prepared for landing. The attendant who’d touched Austin stayed at the back of the cabin until they disembarked.

  Shaine realized he was used to the avoidance. He accepted it without obvious concern. But that didn’t mean he liked it. He simply knew it was something he couldn’t change and had dealt with it in the best way he could.

  Now that she knew, now that she’d seen first
hand the emotional trauma and the physical toll his ability wreaked, Shaine understood him. She knew a person couldn’t endure the experiences he had without eventually cracking under the strain. Self-preservation had driven him to Colorado.

  His home was a lot like him. It was rustic on the outside, but high tech on the inside. To all appearances, Austin was a closed-off man with little ability to have feelings for others. In reality, feeling too much had brought him considerable suffering.

  Austin hailed a cab so they wouldn’t have to call the Pruitts, and they said little on the drive home. Reaching the inn at last, Shaine unlocked her door and dropped her purse on the counter.

  Austin placed their bags on the floor.

  “Are you hungry?” she asked.

  He shook his head.

  She kicked her shoes off. “It feels so good to get home.”

  She met his eyes. He said nothing.

  He was ready to leave. This time there was no mistake.

  The thing she’d wanted for so long, finding Toby, would be the thing that released him to go home and end their time together. She still wanted Toby. There was no question about that. But she’d discovered something else she wanted in the process.

  “They think they’ve found a place in Arizona,” Shaine told Audrey the next afternoon. “A farm of some sort where the children are taken and hidden until they’re delivered to the people who’ve paid for them.”

  “That’s terrifying.” Instinctively Audrey brought a protective hand to her round stomach.

  “So, how are you feeling?”

  “Gross. But I don’t want to talk about me. Marge has been just great. She had some ideas about finishing off that back porch and making an eating area for nice weather.” Audrey detailed the plan.

  “That’s a good idea.”

  They went over the grocery supply, making a list for Marge, then Shaine closeted herself in the small office behind the dining room.

  She caught up on paperwork, not realizing how late it got, until finally, she turned out all the lights and went downstairs.

  Austin was watching a football game, his legs, in a pair of sweat shorts, stretched from the sofa to her coffee table.