Caged (Caged series Book 1)

by Destiny Hawkins

  “Well not my kind of mistakes. You can’t compare what I did to other people’s mistakes. It’s not... it’s not the same,” The bell rang and I walked away from her to head to class.

  I went to go see Miss Shy at the end of the day, confused about what I was going to say to her. I didn’t want to feel this way anymore, or ever again, and I figured that talking to her would maybe fix everything. The only problem is that I don’t know how to talk about the past without falling apart, or freaking out.

  Miss Shy sat behind her desk, and this time I could tell that her smile was fake, so to lighten the moment, “So, are you ready for this meet coming up?”

  I frowned. I had forgotten all about this weekend’s wrestling meet, “No,” I shook my head, “I’m not going to lose, but I’m not ready for it.”

  “And why is that?” .

  I sat there frozen, not sure on how to answer the question. I didn’t really have an answer, “I don’t...know.”

  Miss Shy bit her lip, “Do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked in a soft tone, “A lot has changed about you, and it has everyone worried. I can see that whatever is bothering you has been messing with your health. Have you been eating?”

  “No, I haven’t been hungry lately. I can’t keep my food down.”

  “Well, are you pregnant? Have you been having sex?”

  “What? No!” I looked down at my shoes, “I just can’t stomach anything, and I can’t sleep, because I keep thinking too much.”

  “About what?”

  “About what I did...” My throat started to burn.

  “Rose, what did you do?”

  I thought back to the day Winee died, “I didn’t want to- it was an accident.”

  “Please tell me what this is about. You’re not making too much sense. What did you do?” I could tell that I was getting Miss Shy worked up.

  “She’s dead.” I swallowed and looked blankly into my counselors eyes, “I just didn’t want her to leave, and then we got caught, and he made me,” my hands started to shake as the thoughts came rushing back in. The fight, the blood, Arnold....This wasn’t helping.

  “Rose, wait!” Miss Shy called after me as I stormed out of the office. I stopped when I entered the hallway and saw Jessie walking from around the corner. She smiled at me when she saw my bloodshot eyes, and tears streaming down my cheeks.

  This was her fault, and she knew it. She knew I was afraid that the past would come back to haunt me, and she knew that it would eventually drive me insane. Jessie was playing a game with me, and she was winning.

  Chapter 21

  I stormed out of the side door and was going to take the short way home. I had already told coach that I was going to miss practice, and he gave me the okay.

  The street lights were already on and it was pretty dark out. I took a deep breath and then rubbed my tears away in fear of being seen crying by someone else. This place, being in Ohio, was starting to make me soft, because back in California I don’t remember crying this much, if at all. It actually angered me how soft I was getting, and I'd rather be my cold self again. It was all because of Abigale: the only one who really understood me, Cameron: my goofy friend, Miss Shy: who knew how to get through to me, and Lorena....the one person that reminds me of the good times I used to have as a kid. I didn’t have the best childhood, but those brief moments that I had with Winee are deeply treasured. They were the only good times I could truly remember.

  I took a deep breath and tried to shake the thought of Winee from my head. She was in the past, and I had to keep her there, because nothing good would come from thinking about her all the time. After that first dream though, keeping her out of my head became harder and harder. She was haunting me for what I did to her and wanted me to pay.

  I calmed down and begun to walk towards the large parking lot. Once across I would be on the sidewalk that led to my house. What stopped me was Lorena’s voice, which I could hear yelling from the far left of me.

  When I turned to look for Lorena I saw Josh walking closer to her and yelling louder each step. The argument was hard to make out, and it was none of my business so I told myself to keep walking, but when I saw him raise his hand at her, I snapped.

  I just started power walking in his direction, not even thinking about what I was going to do next. Lorena stepped back, but was trying to hide her fear, and yelled at him again. Josh’s voice was overpowering though, and Lorena’s words were cut off. He pushed her hard against the car and started yelling even louder at her, and I still couldn’t make out the words.

  Josh’s hand came down on Lorena with a smack. It was loud, and I felt like I could feel the sting on my cheek. Lorena turned back to him and saw me approaching. Her eye’s widened almost as if to warm me, but I wasn’t afraid.

  “Hey Josh,” I said. Right when he turned around I came in with a hard right punch that made him fall back onto the car, and then the icy pavement. Before he could get up I stomped him on his chest and threw another blow at his face with all my body weight. When his head hit the ground, I could see Arnold’s face and began to lose my temper. I started punching at him frantically, just like I did before in Cali.

  “Don’t!” Lorena yelled, “Please stop!”

  I didn’t pay her any attention. No, Lorena couldn’t save Josh this time. I had already gotten started, and I was going to finish him. He was just like Arnold in so many ways, and people like him didn’t deserve to -

  “Rose!” This time I heard Miss Shy. Even while yelling her voice was so soft and comforting, “Get off of him!”

  The rage I felt was diminishing quickly. Miss Shy grabbed my arm and pulled me from on top of him, then she rushed to tend to Josh who, unfortunately, was okay. He was just bleeding from his nose, and had a bruised cheek.

  “Get out of here, Rose!” Miss Shy yelled.

  I was confused. Wasn’t she going to report me? She was sending me away, as if to escape a murder crime.

  “C’mon,” Lorena said. She walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat. I opened the passenger side door and got in with her, then she pulled off and headed towards my house.

  It was a silent ride. Lorena’s cheek was red, but it would clear up after an hour or so. She had a stern look on her face the entire time, as if she were mad at me, or thinking about him.

  When we pulled up to my house we sat there in silence for a little while.

  “Lorena...” I didn’t really know what to say. Should I have apologized? “I’m sorry. I saw him hit you-”

  “It’s okay,” She snapped. She still wouldn’t look at me.

  I wanted to say more, but there was nothing to say, “Well...okay,” I got out of the car and closed the door. Lorena took no time in pulling off and driving away. I guess that was the end of our friendship.

  I went into the house feeling much better than I did before, and even though I might have lost Lorena, I gained my sanity back. I felt a lot better than I have in the past few days and smiled. I guess fighting was what really made me happy, or it might have been because I finally got back at Josh for knocking me out.

  After doing my workout routine and showering, I sat on my bed with my curly hair out of its ponytail and looked at the picture of my parents. What a beautiful couple they were. If only I could see them again....

  * * *

  I decided to fake sick for the next couple of days. My aunt didn’t mind, and Miss Shy said it was best for me to stay away for a while. I wasn’t reported, but now I had Josh to look out for. I mean, I did before, but not like I have to now. I had humiliated a very popular, and hot-headed boy with a temper. Just like Jessie, he was definitely someone I had to keep an eye on.

  I told Abigale and Cameron what happened one night when they came over for a study session with me. Cameron almost looked happy after hearing the news.

  “I was wondering how he got that black eye,” Cameron said laughing, “That was you!” he laughed even harder. It was almost as if he had forgotten ab
out what I’d done to him at practice, and when I called to apologize he just went along like nothing had happened.

  Abigale, on the other hand, would call and check up on me to see if I was okay. She said that she was worried that I would do something stupid and I wouldn’t be able to fix it. I did do something stupid, but he deserved it.

  “So he really did used to hit on Lorena...” Abigale shook her head, “Are they still together?”

  “I wouldn’t know,” I sighed, “I tried calling Lorena the other day, but she didn’t answer. I guess we’re not friends anymore.”

  “Rejected,” Cameron started to laugh until he saw the pained look on my face, “Man, she’s just a little upset. Maybe embarrassed, you shouldn’t worry about it.”

  “Yeah,” Abigale started, “Lorena is a pretty forgiving person. She probably just needs some time to cool down. I mean, you beat up her boyfriend.”

  “Before he could beat her up. She should be thanking me!” I circled an answer on my paper, “So, has she been going to school?”

  “Yeah, I’ve seen her,” Abigale said, “But she’s more anti than usual.”

  I bit my lip and went back to my paper. I hoped that she was okay.

  “So what’s the deal with you two anyway?” Cameron asked. When I looked up at him I noticed that there was no smile on his face.

  “What? There’s nothing. She’s just a friend,” I answered, and I felt like I was telling the truth.

  “But it feels like there’s more to this story,” Cameron said.

  “I’m with Cameron on this one,” Abigale nodded.

  “Guy’s she’s really just a friend. I don’t feel that way for her. I don’t really feel that way for anyone,” I explained.

  Cameron just nodded and went back to his assignment, and I tried not to notice the crushed look on his face. Abigale just watched the both of us for a few second, shook her head, and went back to hers.

  * * *

  Today is the third day that I’ve been out of school, and the third day that I haven’t talked to Lorena about what happened. I didn’t even know why I cared so much, because when I was falling apart last week, I didn’t really speak to her then, and she didn’t even try to get to me. It was like we were never even friends for that period of time. Maybe we weren’t? Maybe we were just cool for the project and after that there were no ties?

  I got out of bed and greeted my aunt, who was making breakfast in the kitchen. She smiled back at me as if she was happy to see me up and alive. For the last few days that pain I’ve been feeling, and my memories of Winee were fading. I felt a lot better each day, and even more motivated to make something great out of myself. My aunt could see that, and it made her happy too. She would even go to work later just to cook me breakfast, and then she would check my assignments at the end of the day to make sure that the answers were right. I got one hundred percent each time.

  Today we were having bacon and eggs. We sat at the table together and talked about school and the future. Our main topic was my major for college. I still couldn’t really figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I mean, I was a fighter, and I liked to stay in shape. I could easily just go into the police force, or join the military and become top dog. Neither of those careers required a college degree.

  “Well, you keep thinking about it,” Aunt Shannon stood up and threw her purse on her shoulder, “I think you should go into athletic training. All that muscle you have on you,” she shook her head smiling.

  “I’ll think about it, Aunt,” I smiled and took another bite of my bacon.

  “Alright honey, well I have to go, have a good day. And go outside before you catch cabin fever in here,” She left out and closed the door behind her.

  I sat back in my chair. Where could I go?

  * * *

  I dressed comfortable and for the weather today. I wore a pair of black sweats with and white t-shirt, and my running shoes. It was cold out so I threw on a sweater, but nothing too heavy because I'd start to sweat like crazy during my run.

  Winter jogs were the worst, but then again they made me a lot stronger. My lungs would get better, and my legs were always stronger come summer time after trudging through the snow.

  I decided to run around the block, and then would make my way down to the library for a drink, and run all the way back home. It felt good to run outside, even though it was cold. I just felt like I was getting some sort of freedom after being locked in my room for a while.

  I made my way to the library and was going to go inside when I saw Lorena’s car parked out front. At first I wanted to go in, but then again, I didn’t want to run into her and feel that awkward tension. I was feeling way too good and didn’t want that feeling to go away.

  I slowed down when I saw Lorena walking out of the library with a few books in her hand, and kept telling myself to look away, but a part of me wanted her to see me, and see that I was okay. I still didn’t understand what I was feeling, but I just went with it. It was a feeling mixed with anger and sadness, yet I still wished I could just talk to her. Maybe this was guilt. But what was I guilty for?

  When Lorena got to her car, she stopped when she saw me, and I couldn’t really tell the expression on her face, but it was anything but happy. I thought about waving, but my pride kept me from doing so, and I started to jog again. This time a little faster.

  I was headed back home with a queasy feeling in my gut. Maybe that was the butterflies? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I was angry, or sad, or felt guilty for what reason? I don’t know. It was a bad idea to come out here, and I should’ve stayed inside where it was safe. Maybe I still would’ve been happy.

  My phone started to ring and I stopped running. When I pulled my phone out I saw that it was Lorena calling me and I froze. I didn’t know if I should ignore her call, or just answer. Ignoring her would be pay back, but answering might reconnect our friendship...if there was even one to begin with.

  Chapter 22

  “Hello?” I said in a dull tone. It was quiet for a moment, but then I heard her soft voice and it felt like this winter was turning into summer.

  “Rose...” She didn’t know what to say either.

  I couldn’t take the wild butterflies in my stomach, “Look if you don’t have anything to talk about then I need to get back to -”

  “Wait.”

  “What?” Now I was confused.

  “Just wait,” She hung up.

  I stood there looking at my phone, then I put it back in my pocket and did as I was told. I took a deep breath and watched it blow out like smoke. I could feel the cold again.

  A few minutes passed before Lorena pulled up next to me and opened the passenger door. When I didn’t move, she waved for me to get inside, then I nodded and got into the car.

  “I don’t really need a ride home,” I said looking out of the window. I didn’t want to look at her, “I could’ve jogged there.”

  “I wasn’t taking you home,” She sound calmer than the last time we spoke. When I turned to look at her I met her eyes that reminded me of the sea on a sunny day, and immediately calmed me down. The butterflies were mild now, but the silence and intensity in the car made my heart rate pick up.

  “Then where? What do you want?” I asked calmly.

  Lorena took my hand and held it for a moment, then she surprisingly gave me a hug the best that she could in the cramped car. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around her, but then I relaxed and held her tighter, missing her.

  “Thank you,” She said almost whispering.

  The guilt I was holding before went away all at once and I was left with that warm familiar feeling that I’ve been craving for a while, “you’re…you’re welcome?” I wasn’t expecting a thank you. Truthfully, I don’t know what I expected, but not a thank you.

  When we parted, I slowly sat back in my seat and looked ahead of me. I almost wanted to laugh at how awkward it felt. Lorena did the same.

  “Can I ask you a question?” I asked.
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  Lorena nodded.

  “Why didn’t you try to talk to me?” I was still a little confused, “I mean, are we friends? I thought that we were...and it’s fine if we’re not, but I just thought...”

  Lorena looked down in thought, “I didn’t know what to say to you. I mean after that night at the party, seeing you like that, and then during school, I didn’t understand what was going on with you-”

  “But you didn’t make an attempt to find out,” I said turning to her again.

  Lorena bit her lip then said, “Josh. He erased your number out of my phone after the night at the party. I went through it and found out when I was going to give you a call.”

  “What about the time I called you?”

  “That was me. After the fight with Josh, I didn’t want to talk to you for a while. You don’t come off as a violent person, and I could only put up with one so far, but then I realized that you were just trying to protect me, and I figured you really didn’t want me to know what Jessie was talking about that night you took her down too.”

  Now I felt better. All of my questions were answered and there was no more confusion.

  “One more question?” I smiled, and almost laughed, “Were you going to fight me at the party?”

  Lorena blushed. When I was going in for Josh she had stepped in front of him as if she would be able to defend herself against me, “I really...don’t know,” she laughed, “You just looked like you were going to kill him, and after seeing what you did to Jessie I didn’t want you to do the same to him...at the time.”

  I smiled.

  Lorena started the car, “So, are we okay?”

  “We’re great.”

  “OK, cool. So, I’m about to go home and you can continue your jog,” she said with a big smile on her face.

  “Wait, you’re really not going to take me home?”

  “You said you didn’t need a ride.”

  I smiled back at her, “How about....you teach me how to drive.”

  “Ha!” she put the car in drive and went forward.