Not Letting Go

by R B Hilliard

  “Okay honey, I’ll let it go, but let me say that if I had known this, I would never have brought up Missy.”

  The guilt and shame in her eyes was too much. “Hey,” I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “I would have found out eventually. I knew he was bound to move on at some point. I just wish he hadn’t picked her.”

  “You’re not the only one,” she murmured. “Kurt and Max are far from thrilled about it.”

  Good.

  For the next hour we ate the bag of goodies, drank coffee and talked about life. The whole time I tried not to think about my beautiful Gage with Missy, the town slut. The second Joss was out the door I picked up the phone and called Susannah.

  “Are you aware that Gage and Zip have bought into the MG here in Charlotte?” I asked her.

  “Wow, news spreads fast. I just found out from Zip late last night that Gage decided to buy in. Zip is only going to work there. How’d you find out?”

  “Joss came by this morning and was trying to get me to spill the beans about what happened in Texas. When I wouldn’t give her anything, she hit me where it counts. Are you also aware that Gage went home with the town slut last night?” A picture of them going at it flickered through my brain and I pinched my eyes shut. No matter what I did I couldn’t erase the image from my head. It made me want to cry, but I couldn’t because I knew that once I started I would never stop.

  “Do you really want me to answer that?”

  “Yes. Wait! No! I don’t know! A part of me feels that if I get all the dirty details of him with someone else then I will finally be able to move on. Does that sound crazy?”

  She sighed. “No. It sounds normal. Zip said that Gage hooked up with someone. Conveniently, he failed to mention that she had such an active social life. But, Pi, like I’ve said a thousand times before, I don’t think you have the real story.” No, Susannah, it’s you who doesn’t have the real story.

  “Joss said that Zip also bought in to MG’s? Did he not?”

  “No. He said that he wanted to leave his options open, whatever that means.”

  “What do you thing about him relocating to Charlotte?”

  “Well, It’s funny you should mention that. He asked me if I wanted to move there last night.”

  “And?” I could feel the excitement building.

  “I wanted to ask if I could come and stay with you on a temporary basis and see how it goes before making such a drastic decision.”

  “Yes! Please stay with me! I need someone I can talk to about things and you can work from anywhere. This will work. I know it will!”

  Susannah was the only child of my dad’s brother Paul and his wife Dray. She was so smart that she could have any job she wanted. Her passion, however, has always been the written word. As soon as she graduated from college she started blogging about books. She discovered that she mostly liked Erotic Romances. After a year she was one of the most followed Erotic Romance bloggers in the nation. About that time, she was approached by several magazines to write for them. So, not only does she blog about kinky books, she has become the Dear Abbey for kinky woman all over the world. I was so proud of her.

  “Well okay then. First let me get things tied up here. How about I plan on being there sometime next week? I’ll give you more details once I have them.” I could hear the excitement in her voice. Before we hung up, she said, “Love you, Pi. Will you at least think about talking to Gage? You guys were crazy about each other. Zip and I are both worried about you. Oh, and call your mom. She says she hasn’t heard from you in over a week.”

  Susannah knew more than most about what had happened between Gage and me, but she didn’t know it all. My mind wandered to Reyn, who I hadn’t heard word one from since leaving Texas. I hope she’s okay.

  The Saturday after I first met Gage at The Oasis, I worked my first bartending gig. I knew the bartenders worked hard because I had watched them, but I had no idea how hard. The place was packed and I hadn’t had a second to breathe all night. I was hot and sweaty and smelled like beer and tequila. Gage had been on my mind all week. Those blue eyes, and lips…damn, those juicy lips. I had no idea where he was from, where he worked, or even his last name. I wondered if I would ever see him again, not that it should matter as he had a girlfriend.

  A schooner of beer plopped on the bar in front of me and I was pulled from my thoughts. “Take a break,” my boss said. “A VIP table on base level has been asking for you. Take thirty with them and then come back and finish your shift.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” he told me. Well alright.

  Reyn hadn’t mentioned coming in tonight. I bet she’s here with a famous band or something. I ran my fingers through my hair and checked to make sure that my tank and shorts weren’t too nasty. Then I headed down the stairs with my beer. My work uniform consisted of a fitted tank top with the restaurant logo on it and short shorts. Behind the bar they made us wear athletic shoes, which was smart as many bottles and glasses were broken back there. The only athletic shoes I owned were my neon green running shoes. The wait staff constantly made fun of them. Scooting out the door, I searched for Reyn.

  “I was wondering if you were going to make it down here tonight.” a familiar, deep voice said.

  God, that voice makes me want things that I shouldn’t and I am not that girl. I had to remind myself of this before turning to Gage and giving him a big smile. Holy hell this guy was hot. Tonight he had on a pair of well worn jeans and a blue short sleeved t-shirt that made his eyes look like pools of translucent blue glass. I could see some ink peeking out from under his left sleeve and wondered what design he had chosen to permanently adorn himself with. My eyes slid from him to the table and I recognized Zippo, Zeke and…Selina. Oh joy.

  Selina was not in Gage’s lap tonight, thank goodness. There was only so much a girl could take. Instead, she was snuggled up with some old guy. She had on a similar getup as last weekend and still looked just as beautiful. Bitch. I was familiar with girls that liked to be passed around. I just had no respect for them, or for that matter, the guys who did the passing.

  Smiling at the table of people, I said, “You all look like you’re having a good time.”

  Gage pulled a chair up and motioned for me to sit down.

  When I didn’t immediately comply, the old guy below Selina said, “Have a seat, pretty lady. We don’t bite.” Something about his tone made me uncomfortable. He wasn’t unattractive, but definitely wasn’t the most attractive at the table. His salt and pepper hair made him noticeably older than the other guys and, by the deference they showed him, he apparently held some position of power. “These three boys came in last weekend talking about Piper and the girls, so I decided that I just had to meet you,” he told me. His dark, beady eyes reminded me of a black bird and I fought back a shiver of disgust.

  “And you are?”

  He chuckled. “I am Dooley and this here is my lovely Selina.” My eyes flicked to Selina, whose eyes were shooting daggers at me.

  He may be thrilled to meet me, but she sure isn’t.

  Gage interrupted our stare-down. “You met Zeke and Zippo last weekend. On Dooley’s right are Lester, Ax, and Buck. On Ax’s lap is Melly. We all work for Dooley in one capacity or another.” They all smiled and said hello. Melly shyly waved.

  “What business are you in, Dooley?” I asked, feigning interest.

  The table went quiet.

  Uh-oh.

  Dooley grinned and a picture of the big bad wolf popped into my head, except with giant crow eyes. He looked as if he wanted to eat me up. “I dabble in several different things,” he vaguely replied and I thought I heard the table sigh. Something about this guy gave me serious willies. While everyone talked and drank, I quickly finished my beer. Every time I glanced over in Dooley’s direction, his shiny black eyes were on me and Selina’s were on Gage.

  I chugged the dregs, looked at my watch and stood up. “It was nice meeting y
ou all, but I have to get back to work.”

  “I’m sure that Roy would understand if you spent more time with us,” Dooley responded.

  “Oh, I’m sure he would, but unfortunately sitting on my ass down here will not pay my half of the rent.”

  He looked over at Gage and laughed. “Gage, my boy, she is a breath of fresh air.”

  Great. I would rather be a breath of putrid air where this guy was concerned.

  Gage turned his devastating smile my way and I lost my train of thought. “Yes she is,” he quietly said. He turned back to the table and said, “I’m going to walk her back up. Be back in a few.”

  “It was nice meeting you, Piper. Do you by chance have a last name?” Dooley asked.

  A feeling of wrongness rolled through me. Giving this guy any personal information felt like a really bad idea. Shaking it off, I said, “O’Connell, Piper O’Connell.”

  “Well, nice to meet you Piper O’Connell. I’m sure I will see you again very soon.”

  I gave him a half-smile. Not if I have anything to do with it, you won’t.

  “Don’t be too long, Gage,” Selina purred. He shot her a strange look and ushered me toward the stairs.

  “How much longer do you have?” he asked, threading his fingers through mine as we headed up the stairs.

  Feeling uncomfortable, I pulled my hand from his and slid it into the pocket of my shorts. “I’m on for another hour. Since I’m not closing tonight, I don’t have to wipe down the bar or close out.”

  He slowed down as we entered the bar area. “Come find me when you’re done and we can get out of here.”

  “Uh, I don’t think so, Cowboy.”

  He scowled at the nickname. “Why?”

  Jeeze, really? “Your girlfriend?”

  He laughed. “What girlfriend?”

  I raised my eyebrow at him. I normally had an excellent bullshit meter. Of course it would choose tonight to crap out on me.

  He leaned in and softly kissed me. “You’re cute when you’re jealous, Princess.”

  “I’m not a princess and I’m not jealous, Cowboy. I’m just clarifying things before they go any further. I don’t do other women’s men…ever… and I definitely don’t share.”

  He smiled and my heart stuttered. “Good thing I belong to no one and I don’t share either. See you in an hour.” He swatted me on the ass and walked away. I sighed. The back of him was almost as good as the front. I am in serious trouble.

  When the hour was up, I went to find him. I had decided that if he was going to make me hang out with creepy, crow eyed Dooley and sleazy Selina, I was going to feign exhaustion and get out of there. I spotted him at the table with Lester or, maybe it was Larry, and let out a sigh of relief. He stood as I approached and, before I could grab a chair, sat down and pulled me onto his lap.

  “How was work?” he asked. The guy he was sitting with reminded me of a caricature of a bodyguard to a mob boss in a made for T.V. movie. Dooley’s henchman. I shivered at the thought.

  “It was good. Did you guys have fun down here?”

  “It’s better now that you’re here,” Larry said, smiling wickedly.

  The more I looked at the guy, the more things I found wrong. For instance, he had no neck and an abnormally large forehead.

  I felt Gage tense underneath me. “Back off, Lester,” he warned.

  Lester. What an icky name. It’s right up there with Dooley.

  Lester laughed. “Don’t get all upset Blackwell. Dooley wants me back at the house, so I wouldn’t be able to double team tonight anyway. You two kids have fun. I’m sure I’ll see you around, Piper.”

  Did he just say what I think he said? “Uhhh, sure thing. Nice to meet you, Lester,” I politely responded. I didn’t want to talk to him, but I wasn’t raised in a barn. As soon as he was out of my sight, I could breathe again.” I wanted to ask him why he hung out with creeps like Dooley and Lester, but felt that we didn’t know each other well enough for show and tell….yet. “Your last name is Blackwell?” I asked.

  “It is. You ready to get out of here?” His deep voice vibrated through my body and a part of me wanted to sit on his lap all night and listen to him talk. Instead, I glanced down at his cowboy boots. I knew this guy was a player, but I was sick of sitting on the sidelines. I bet he drives a ginormous pick-up truck with big knobby tires and plays blaringly loud country music. I bet he’s big all over. Like Joss always says, “You only live once.” Smiling, I said, “Sure, just let me grab my bag.”

  He grazed his tongue across the lobe of my ear. “Meet you out front in five,” he murmured. Then he kissed the side of my head and lifted me from his lap.

  Chapter Four

  As soon as Gage was out of sight, I bolted up the stairs and into the break room where I stored my backpack. I seriously needed a shower, but since I didn’t have one readily available I would have to settle for deodorant, a spritz of perfume and a quick change of clothes. I learned the hard way to always bring a change of clothes to work because nine times out of ten I walked out smelling like either Taco Bell or Jose Cuervo. Tonight, all I brought were jeans, a Harley tee and my running shoes. At the last second, I pulled my hair into a pony tail. If he expects fancy, he’s going to be mighty disappointed. I waved to my fellow bartenders as I passed by and out the door. At the top of the restaurant steps I froze. Holy shit. On a steel horse he rides.

  There, parked at the bottom of the steps in front of me, sat Gage…on a Harley.

  A slow grin spread across his face. He held out his hand and said, “Nice shirt. Wanna ride?”

  Hell yes, I wanted to ride. I wanted to ride him six ways to Sunday. Peeling my chin off the ground, I jogged down the steps and placed my hand in his. He pulled me in and held up a helmet.

  I stepped back before he could place it on my head. “Wait, don’t you need it?”

  “We aren’t going far and you need it more.” He must have caught my look of disappointment because he kissed me on the nose and added, “I promise to take you on a much longer ride later, Princess.”

  I scrunched my nose at him. “I’ll go, but only if you stop calling me a princess.”

  His eyes danced with humor. “No can do.”

  “Why?” I warily asked.

  He threw his head back and laughed. The sound was rich and sensual and I liked it a lot. “Because that’s who you are.”

  I shook my head and sighed. “Baby, I’m about as far from a princess as it gets.” His eyes heated and locked on mine.

  “Call me baby again and there will be no ride, not at least until we’re done here.” His aggressive, alpha tone sent a shaft of desire straight to my core and I fought back the urge to challenge him. Would he really take me right here up against his bike in the parking lot? So tempting.

  He shook his head and chuckled. Then he threw his leg over the seat, started the bike and patted the seat behind him. “Coming?” he asked, quirking a sexy eyebrow at me. No, but if I have anything to say about it, we both will be before the night’s over.

  We rode around Lake Travis and then into the hills on the outskirts of Austin. As I hadn’t lived here long, I wasn’t very familiar with the city. By the time we hit a gravel drive I figured that we were about half an hour to forty five minutes from my apartment.

  Gage pulled us up to a nice sized cabin with a large two car garage. Stopping right before the garage entrance, he glanced back at me. “Hop off, Princess.”

  I scrambled off the bike and watched him shut it down. Taut muscles rippled under his tight shirt as he raised one of the garage doors and walked the bike inside. Not sure what he wanted me to do, I followed. Tall metal shelves filled with boxes of tools and various motorcycle parts lined the back of the garage. Some form of muscle car sat in on the other side. This surprised me.

  “Where’s your big truck with knobby tires and all of your horses?” I asked, looking around.

  “Told you I wasn’t a cowboy, Princess.”

  “And I’m not
a princess, Cowboy,” I shot back.

  “But you look like one.”

  This made me laugh. Bantering with Gage was fun. We had a natural chemistry that worked outside of the bedroom. It made me wonder if the same would be true in the bedroom. Normally I was very selective about who I fell into bed with, but something about this man with his rough and tumble looks pushed all of my sexual buttons. Plus, I had been going through a major dry spell lately. I was never one to shy away from something I wanted and Gage Blackwell was definitely something I wanted. I guess I’ll have to prove how non-princess-like I really am. Slowly, I eased my t-shirt up my body and over my head. He let out a loud hiss and I inwardly smiled. I watched my shirt hit the floor and then leisurely raised my eyes back to his.

  “Would a princess do that?” I challenged.

  The look of raw lust on his face was staggering. I watched his tongue brush across his bottom lip and wanted to feel it all over my body.

  He shook his head and dropped his eyes to my chest, where they lingered for a second before making their way back to my face. “Definitely not,” he rasped.

  Ellie’s aunt had told us years ago never to leave the house without wearing decent undergarments. I took this to heart as well as to the extreme. I was a lingerie slut. Because I had to work tonight, I went a little tamer than usual with my white strapless push up bra piped in pale yellow. Aunt Elizabeth would be so proud.

  Gage’s blue eyed gaze burned through me and the sizeable bulge in his jeans made me weak in the knees. I wanted to haul my ass across the garage and jump on him. I wanted to touch him all over. I wanted to take him down. But the ball was now in his court. Pick it up big boy. Come on, you know you want to.

  I watched his hands clinch into fists. Then he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “You have no idea who you’re playing with.” he huskily said.

  Maybe not, but I’m about to find out. Slowly, I lowered my fingers to the button of my jeans. His eyes shot to my hands and, before I could take my next breath, he had me over his shoulder and was on the move. My vision blurred as we zipped through the house and I giggled like a school girl.