The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven

by Jessica Miller

  “Ella, what's taking so long? Let's see.” Dixon whined impatiently.

  I let out a breath and stepped out of the room.

  “Oh. My. Gawd,” Dixon said, jaw dropped.

  “Ella...WOW!” Josie grinned.

  “You like it?” I said, standing in the middle platform and facing a three way mirror.

  “Honey, if I wasn't gay, we'd be upstairs right now and I would be tearing that dress off of you.” Josie and I cracked up at Dixon's comment.

  “Billy, what do you think?” Josie asked.

  His eyes went wide and Josie had to close his mouth for him. “I'll take that as a yes,” Dixon chuckled.

  “I don't know you guys?” I took a look at myself in the mirror again. “Don't you think it's a little much?”

  “No, absolutely not, you should get it. You need to get it,” Dixon demanded.

  I looked back down at the dress and delicately touched the sparkles, watching them shine brightly in the light. “I agree, only you could pull off a dress as stunning as that.”

  My head snapped up at the sound of his voice. I stared back at his reflection in the mirror. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “Same thing you are. We're not allowed in the dorms until further notice,” Tristan said.

  “Why not stay at the frat house?”

  “Please, that place is filthy. I can only tolerate it for so long. Why you think I live in the dorms and have my own room?” True. That explains a lot. “Well...I just wanted to let you know you should get it. And you don't have to worry about me. I won't bother you,” Tristan said, brooding as he walked away.

  I watched him leave and as I did I felt like he was walking out of my life for good. As much as I claimed that's what I wanted, deep down it wasn't true. On the surface it was easier to pretend I didn't care for him anymore, but on the inside I was falling apart every time I saw him. I turned around and opened my mouth but no sound came out. I wanted to tell him I loved him too. I always have and always will, but I couldn't make my lips work. Instead I turned back to the mirror to catch a glimpse of his back as he walked out the door. “Ella, what's the matter?” Josie asked, standing next to me.

  “Nothing,” I shook my head and looked at the dress again.

  “Get the dress,” she said, smiling.

  “Okay,” I said. Josie gave Dixon a high five while I went back in the dressing room to change. Once changed back into my normal clothes, we gathered up all our items and headed to the register. We had all our stuff delivered to our rooms while we went to the salon to get our hair done. Once again Billy told us he'd meet us later. I had no doubt he was going to check on Tristan, but I tried not to care.

  The salon was able to get us in right away which I was thankful because if I had to sit around and think I would drive myself nuts. They called us back and even were kind enough to accommodate us so we were all sitting next to each other. Dixon looked nervous as he sat down in the stylist’s chair. I learned that Dixon's hair was his prized possession. He took great care to get it to look the way it did. He decided he would let them touch up his color, figuring if they screwed up he could always fix it. I couldn't imagine how they could. His hair was black with one large red streak in the front. Even I could have handled that.

  Both Josie and I had our hair set in rollers and then went to get our makeup. I sat in the chair quietly while Dixon and Josie gabbed back and forth about all the latest celebrity gossip. I wasn't much in the mood to talk. “Ella, what's wrong?” Josie asked, noticing my sullen expression. “It's not Tristan is it, because if it is I will totally tell the hotel he's using a stolen credit card and have him kicked out.”

  I laughed at Josie's undying loyalty. “No, it's not Tristan,” I sighed.

  “Then what is it, honey?” Dixon asked, joining the conversation.

  “Do you think it's wrong?”

  “Is what wrong?”

  “A student at our campus, in the same hall as us no less, was just brutally murdered and we're here getting pampered acting as if nothing happened, like this has all been an inconvenience.”

  “Oh Ella,” Josie said sympathetically. “It's not wrong. This is just our way of not letting it get to us. To help us realize how lucky we are.”

  “Yeah sweetie, would you rather sit in your room and sulk and worry? Or forget your troubles for a little while? Life goes on, you can't pause your own life every time something bad happens to someone else or you'd never live.”

  “I guess,” I said, not totally convinced.

  “Now come on, turn that frown upside down,” Dixon said, giving me an exaggerated smile.

  “Dixon, you are so lame,” I laughed.

  “Whatever, I still made you smile.”

  I was glad when the stylists told us they were ready to take our rollers out. The weight of these things in my hair was giving me a headache. Josie decided to have her hair pinned up while I chose to have mine down to help cover what the dress didn't. Dixon chose to style his hair himself not trusting the stylist to do a good enough job. I watched him fuss with it in the mirror while my stylist brushed my curls out into a soft wave. Dixon was very meticulous and spent the same amount of time on each spot. He spiked up his Mo-hawk in the back and pulled the center and front pieces to the side. He twisted and pulled the front bangs to a side part while fluffing up any pieces that fell. I've never seen a man spend so much time on his hair, even Dean wasn't that bad.

  We still had to wait for Dixon to finish after we paid. Annoyed at his OCD over his hair, I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him back up to the room. I warned him on the way up if I had to wait again because he was messing with his hair I was going to shave it off in his sleep. He took the hint and resisted the urge.

  Once dressed, we headed back downstairs to dinner. The hotel had a five star restaurant with a guest chef tonight. I didn't care who cooked my food just as long as it was hot and filling.

  Both boys were perfect gentleman and pulled our chairs out for us. Before we ordered Dixon had mentioned seeing Tristan sitting at a table by himself. “Maybe we should invite him to join us?” Dixon offered.

  Josie looked to me for an answer and I believe my face said it all. “Dixon, I don't think that's such a great idea,” she said. He took one look at me and understood.

  Somehow Dixon had managed to get us champagne. Billy was the only one old enough to drink so I was surprised they still served us. I think the waiter had a crush on Dixon so his flirtatious smile won him over. I had finished my second glass before the food even arrived and thought I should slow down, but it was kind of hard because I liked the way the bubbles tickled my nose. I managed to resist the best I could.

  After dinner we ordered dessert. I had about two bites before I had to push the plate away. I was so full from dinner I couldn't even look at my delicious dessert without my stomach grumbling at me. Not to mention I still wanted to be able to fit in my bathing suit later tonight. We sat around the table digesting, but it wasn't long before Josie dragged Billy out on to the dance floor. From the look on Billy's face I could tell he wasn't one for dancing and from Josie's angered expression I knew he had two left feet. I even think I heard her say she would kick him if he didn't stop stepping on her toes.

  “Come on, let's show'em how it's done,” Dixon said, pulling me out of my chair and onto the dance floor.

  With my arm on his shoulder, his on my hips, and our hands clasped together, we glided gracefully across the floor. “Wow you're pretty good, Dixon,” I said, amazed by his agility and grace.

  “You're not so bad yourself,” he winked, dipping me back. I giggled as he brought me back up. That's when I caught a glimpse of Tristan over Dixon's shoulder. I sighed at the sight of him sitting by himself at the bar and drinking alone. Dixon noticed the sudden shift in my mood. “Why don't you go talk to him?”

  “It's not that easy, Dixon.”

  “Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. I'm sure you can work it out.”

  �
��Considering I basically called him a murderer earlier I highly doubt he wants anything to do with me.”

  “I'm sure he's been called worse,” he replied. I gazed over at Tristan. Wondering what I could possibly say to him that would make everything okay. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him. I told him I felt nothing for him. I told him I suspected him of a heinous crime when really it was just my paranoia feeding my brain lies. Lies that Jack planted into my head. Jack, who was the only person who recently made me feel sick in the stomach being around him. I knew I couldn't fight my feelings anymore. Being away from him hurt more than I ever could have imagined. I wasn't as strong as I thought, but in this case giving in would not be considered a weakness.

  “Ella?” I turned back to Dixon. “He's crazy about you. Trust me, I know,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And I know you're crazy about him, too. I can see it written all over your face. Whatever doubts you have, you don't need to worry. He's one of the good guys.” I knew Dixon was right. I also knew Tristan was right when he said I needed to be honest with myself. “Go get him,” Dixon said, nudging me in the direction of Tristan.

  I thanked Dixon for the dance, gave him a slight curtsy, and made my way over To Tristan. I prepared myself for rejection. I placed a hand on the chair next to his. “Is this seat taken?” He gestured for me to take it without so much as a glance my way. “Tristan look, this isn't easy for me. I don't blame you if you don't want to talk or even forgive me for the way I've been acting. I just wanted you to know...” I stopped, not able to say the words I so longed to admit. “I just wanted you to know –”

  “Dance with me,” he interrupted, finally facing me.

  “What?”

  He finished his drink and stood up. “Dance with me,” he repeated.

  “Tristan I –”

  “Humor me, please,” he said, holding out his hand. I took it and followed him to the dance floor. I draped my arms over his shoulders and he wrapped his around my waist. I stared softly into his eyes and he stared back into mine. Neither of us spoke. We didn't have to. We had an unspoken bond that let our bodies and hearts do all the talking for us.

  I moved a little closer and he just held me a little tighter. We hadn't even noticed the song had ended. We just kept dancing until they started to play another. I lay my head on his shoulder feeling so relaxed, so comfortable in his arms, and at that moment I knew. I knew this is where I belonged. Where I’d always belonged, but was just too stubborn too admit it.

  “Ella?” I lifted my head to gaze into his beautiful blue eyes. He brushed a piece of hair off my cheek and gently cupped the sides of my face with his hands. His eyes were burning with a fiery passion as he stared back into mine. “I love you,” he whispered.

  I closed my eyes and took him in, took all of him in. His scent, his touch, and the way he made me feel when I was around him. His eyes, his passion, his love for me, I took it all in and held it there. When I finally opened my eyes and looked up at him, I was ready to tell him how I felt until he stopped me. “You don't have to say it back. That's not what I want. I just want you to know I love you and only you. It will always be you Ella, it always was,” he said, leaning down to kiss my lips before I could protest.

  I melted under the embrace. My whole body tingled from his touch. I pulled him closer to me wanting more. He pulled back, smiled and placed a sweet kiss on my forehead. I rested my head on his chest and held him tight, never wanting to let go.

  “Should we tell them the music stopped?” I heard Billy say to Josie. And then Josie smacked him and told him to be quiet.

  I laughed and found the courage to tear myself away from Tristan. He gave me a loving look, ready to walk away, when I pulled him back to the table with me. “It's the dress, I knew it,” I overheard Dixon whisper to Josie. I just smiled, happy that I could finally accept Tristan for whom he was and finally able to let myself go.

  The restaurant was closing so we paid our bill and headed back to our rooms. When we reached our floor, we stepped off the elevator, and I turned back to Tristan. “I'm the next floor up,” he said.

  Just before the door closed, I jumped back in the elevator. He looked at me unsure. I just smiled and pressed the key to go up.

  Chapter twenty

  Tristan took me to the penthouse suite. I shouldn't have expected anything less, of course. The room was massive. It had a full size living room, with three private bedrooms, and an enormous Jacuzzi. Once inside I led Tristan to one of the bedrooms that had a king size bed. He took off his coat and tie and draped them over the chair. I sat down at the table and he surprised me by kneeling down to take off my shoes for me. I gave him a thankful smile as he stood back up and stared at me.

  “What?” I asked bashfully. The way he was looking at me, the look in his eyes, made me blush.

  “You look absolutely amazing in that dress, as I knew you would,” he smiled. It wasn't his normal cocky smile that I grew to love. This was a smile that said, ‘I'm the luckiest guy in the world and don't deserve you’. I turned my head away feeling my cheeks get hot. He walked over to the stereo and pressed play. Then walked back over and held out his hand to help me up and proceeded to dance with me again.

  Finally alone with him and not able to hold back anymore, I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled his lips to mine. My hands started to slowly move down his chest. I untucked his shirt and he tried to pull back but I wouldn't let him. I started to unbutton his shirt, one button at a time. Then I slid my hands over his chest and up his shoulders removing his shirt and letting it drop to the floor.

  He grabbed my hands to stop me from proceeding any further. “Ella,” he said, his voice pained. He held my hands close to his chest. He dropped his forehead down to mine and closed his eyes. “We need to stop.”

  “Why?”

  “Because if we go any further I won't be able to stop myself,” he said afraid.

  “I don't want you to.”

  “You say that now, but I've been down this road before. No offense, but how do I know you won't turn into the Ella who hates me tomorrow?”

  “Tristan, I don't hate you. I never did. I just never cared about someone the way I do you. I didn't understand it. The way I feel when I'm around you. The things you make me feel when you touch me.” I put his hand on my cheek. “It's like nothing I can describe. I was scared and you were right. I was hiding from the truth and I don't want to anymore. I want you Tristan and only you,” I said, standing on my tiptoes. I kissed his lips.

  “Ella,” he said a little breathless.

  “Shh,” I said, pressing my finger to his lips. I drew him to the bed and he sat down in front of me. I could feel his hands start to tremble. I pulled my hair to the side and untied my dress letting it fall to the floor. I directed his shaky hands to my hips inviting him to touch me. He placed soft kisses across my stomach sending tiny shivers up and down my body. I tilted my head back basking in the pleasure of his lips on me. He slid his hands up my sides, his lips trailing in the wake of his touch. I grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him up to me wanting to taste those wonderful lips. He pulled me closer to him and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he turned me around and lowered me onto the bed.

  I ran my hand up his back and behind his neck, tugging him closer, wanting to feel his body against mine. I parted my lips, inviting him to kiss me deeper. He obeyed, thrusting himself down on top of me making me want to crumble under his incredible touch. He took a moment to catch his breath and pulled back to look into my eyes. I lifted my hand to graze his cheek. He placed his hand on top of mine, holding it there. He closed eyes taking in the moment as if it were a dream. Afraid that when he opened them he would wake up and this would all be over.

  He let out a breath and opened his eyes, peering into mine. It was like I could see into his soul. I could feel how much he wanted me, how much he loved me, and how much it pained him to be away from me. I pulled him down on top of me, devouring those luscious lips. I
slid my hands down his chest and started to unbutton his pants, sliding them down as far as I could.

  His hips pushed into mine.

  My heart started to race with anticipation.

  Both of us were panting from the intensity of longing to be together.

  I parted my lips and welcomed his kiss. He moaned at the gesture and reached up to tangle his hand in my hair. Our bodies were now intertwined. Our skin melting into each other’s, burning at the touch. With his other hand he pulled my knee up, rolled over, and lifted me on top of him. I tore his pants off the rest of the way and covered his chest with my kisses coming back up to meet his lips again just before he rolled back over on top of me.

  His hands were roaming every inch of my body making me quiver.

  His lips trail down my jaw, chin and neck, nibbling lightly. I had a sudden flash, a memory. My head started to hurt and then I got another flash. I tensed up and closed my eyes tight trying to get a better view of the visions that were flashing in my head.

  Tristan notices my tension and stopped. “Ella, what is it?”

  I didn't answer him. Instead I concentrated harder until I saw it, all of it.

  I gasped and opened my eyes in shock. I looked at Tristan, and he knew. The look on his face said it all. “You remember,” he sighed.

  I pulled myself back. “Tristan...what the hell is going on?”

  “I can explain,” he said, trying to calm me down.

  “I saw you...and Jack...Jack was trying to kill me?” I shook my head not understanding any of it. “This doesn't make any sense.”

  “I know it doesn't but, Ella, you have to listen to me.”

  “You did something, so I'd forget...you gave me something and it erased my memory. Why?”

  “I didn't give you anything,” he said, sitting back.

  “Yes you did, I remember I woke up the next morning with a headache because of what you gave me.”