Just a Little Crush (Crush #1)

by Renita Pizzitola

  Chapter Three

  A knock at the door woke me. I groaned and rolled over. What time was it? The knock repeated. I glanced at Fallon’s bed. My roommate was gone. Her bed left unmade and her keycard on the nightstand. Dammit. She’d locked herself out again.

  One day I wouldn’t be here to let her back in. I kicked off the covers and stumbled to the door.

  “Seriously, Fallon.” I swung the door open. “Can you never remem—”

  Ryder’s gaze dropped in a slow appraisal of my body. His silver lip ring momentarily vanished as he sucked it into his mouth. He looked back up and smirked. “Morning.”

  I slammed the door in his face and stared down at my black boy shorts and cami. I was practically naked in front of Ryder Briggs. Shit.

  I grabbed my pajama pants and danced into them. Losing my balance, I stumbled into my nightstand. “Ow.”

  “Everything okay in there?” Humor filled his tone.

  “Um, yeah. What are you doing here?” I yelled through the closed door. I slipped on my hoodie and zipped it closed.

  “I have your phone.”

  I threw the door open. “You do?”

  He glanced at my outfit and frowned. “Yeah.” He held it out.

  “Thanks. I thought I’d lost it for good. Where did you find it?”

  Something like anger or annoyance flashed in his eyes. “Outside.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Hey.” Fallon appeared behind Ryder. She wore tiny white shorts and a dark green Sutton University tank top. Her blond hair was still damp from the shower.

  He moved so she could slide by.

  My hands balled into fists as she leered at him and he gave her a once-over. She grinned over her shoulder then bent down to pick up her makeup bag, making certain her ass stayed in the air.

  Ryder raised an eyebrow and looked at me.

  I was ready to get him far away from my slutty roommate. “Well, thanks again.”

  “No problem. Quick question, do you always answer the door dressed like that?”

  Fallon snorted. “Yeah. She lives in those sweats.”

  My face heated.

  Ryder watched my reaction, then pushed off the door frame he’d leaned against. He glanced at Fallon. “Little mystery never hurt.” He locked his eyes on mine and his mouth quirked up. “But a sneak peek goes a long way. See you around, Brinley.” He took off down the hall.

  “What was that about?” Fallon poked her head into the hall, watching him walk away.

  I shrugged. “He found my phone.”

  “I’m going to fuck that boy.”

  My jaw dropped. Like hell she was. She’d already pulled that crap with my Biology lab partner last semester. While I was busy making flash cards, the two of them disappeared for a good twenty minutes then returned looking flushed, disheveled and way too relaxed for two people at risk of flunking the midterm. Needless to say, that was the last time I attempted to study with her, and, thankfully, it was the only class we’d had together. That situation had been frustrating, but if she had sex with Ryder…No way could I handle that.

  “What?” she asked innocently. “You heard him. He enjoyed his sneak peek.” She laughed and turned back into our room. “You should take note. Guys like this.” She motioned to her body.

  Wait, that was the sneak peek? I was such an idiot.

  —

  That evening, I studied in my room. Fallon was out, as usual, and Mason had a date with some girl from his English Lit class. I couldn’t decide if he actually liked her, or just wanted her help with his Chaucer paper.

  My phone chimed with a text.

  Mom: Get bread on your way home.

  Texts from Mom were rare; phone calls even rarer. But when she’d been drinking, I never knew what to expect. Considering it was seven on a Saturday night, it was safe to assume she was plastered, but this sort of text only confirmed it.

  I chose my words with care, knowing how easy it was to set her off when she was like this.

  Me: Sorry, I can’t because I’m away at school.

  My phone rang and I took a deep breath before answering.

  “Well, I know you’re at school, that’s why I said on your way home.” Her tone implied I was the one who sounded like an idiot.

  “Mom, I’m away at college. Remember? I won’t be home tonight.”

  “College,” she mumbled. “Where are you really? What are you hiding from me?” Her words were laced with suspicion. “You’re with him, aren’t you?”

  My shoulders sank. Out of all her drunken rants, I hated this one the most. The one where she couldn’t let go of the past, and accused me of things I hadn’t done.

  There was a bang, like something had been dropped. Mom cursed to herself then I made out Grandma’s voice in the background.

  “It’s Brinley.” Mom paused. “No, I just asked her to get us some bread.”

  Grandma spoke again but I couldn’t make out what she’d said.

  “Why? Brinley’s already out. She’s just being difficult,” Mom said. “She’s refusing to come home, acting like a goddamned…” She was yelling now. “No. I won’t calm down. She’s lying to me,” Mom screamed. “Why are you defending her? She’s a no-good…”

  Muffled sounds buried Mom’s words, then Grandma came on. “Hi, sweetie. I’m sorry we disturbed you. I’m sure you’re busy so we will let you get back to enjoying your Saturday night.” Grandma’s tone was chipper, though I could sense her remorse for what I’d heard. She always tried to protect me from Mom’s outbursts. I appreciated her attempts, and was glad she had no idea how many times she hadn’t been there to intervene. It was better that way.

  “Are you sure everything’s okay?” This little reminder of what life at home was like had me worried about Grandma. Dealing with Mom was an overwhelming job. “I can come visit tomorrow if you’d like, or you know, if you need a break you could come meet me for lunch or something.”

  “Don’t you worry. I’m fine. You have school to think about and I’ve been so busy with work lately, I’m just going to enjoy a quiet weekend at home.”

  For Grandma’s sake, I hoped Mom passed out soon and slept it off most of tomorrow.

  Mom yelled something in the background and Grandma cleared her throat. “How about I call you back another day and we can catch up a bit?”

  “Sure, Grandma. If you need anything, call me, okay?”

  “Of course, honey. We love you. Take care. Bye.”

  “Love you too. Bye.” I stared at my phone, trying not to think about what Grandma would have to deal with. I hadn’t left home to escape the drinking and unpleasant aftereffects—I was surrounded by plenty of reminders here. I’d left Mom and her vodka infatuation behind because I thought life would be easier for Grandma if I wasn’t there reminding Mom of everything she’d lost. But maybe I was wrong.

  My stomach rolled with worry over Grandma, but she’d been handling Mom for years and knew what she was doing. Of course, I feared it would eventually take its toll on her. I shook my head clear and stared at my calculus book. I’d found focusing on school to be the most effective way to handle the stress. I couldn’t change what was happening in the present, but as long as I remained driven, one day I’d have complete control of my future.

  —

  In class on Monday I pretended to take notes. It was better than acknowledging Noah. His gaze had burned into me for the last fifteen minutes. When I’d reached into my bag for my water bottle, I’d made the mistake of looking in his general direction. He smiled and I forced one in return.

  I faced forward, engrossed in the lecture. Dali paintings flashed across the screen. Melting watches, naked women, elephants on stilts. I should have paid attention to the lecture. It’d be nice to make sense of the images. Then again, maybe the point wasn’t to make sense.

  When class ended, Mason turned to me. “I have a study group after work tonight. It might run late.”

  “Okay.”

  “Do you have a
ny plans tonight?” He shoved his laptop in his bag then slipped the straps over his shoulders.

  “No. I’ll probably study in my room.”

  Mason watched me. “Do you want me to come over?”

  “You just said you have a study group.” I stood and pulled my backpack on. “Look, Mason, I’m not sure what happened but you’ve been acting weird since the other night.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  I started walking and he followed.

  He sighed. “That’s not completely the truth.”

  “What?” I glanced at him.

  “It occurred to me something could have happened to you while I was being stupid and chasing that girl. I promised not to bail on you and I did. It was wrong. I’m sorry. Next time we go to a party I’m not letting you out of my sight. Okay?”

  “Um, okay. But I won’t be going to any more parties. I don’t belong there, remember?” He gave me a questioning look. “Like Ryder said, girls like me…”

  “You think he meant you don’t belong?” He chuckled. “Oh, Brinley, you have it all wr—”

  “Hey, Brinley.”

  I turned to Noah. “Hi.”

  “Can we talk?” He glanced at Mason.

  “Um, yeah, sure,” I answered.

  “If you need anything, call me.” Mason gave Noah a once-over and walked away. Weird. When did Noah become public enemy number one?

  “You sure do have a lot of guys worried about you.” Noah adjusted his messenger bag strap across his chest.

  “Mason has always been there for me. I think sometimes he has trouble figuring out when to take it easy.”

  “You know I’m one of those guys, right?”

  Ah, crap. He was? I didn’t want him thinking about me…at all. “You don’t need to worry about me. No one does.”

  “I want to.” He looked down, then peeked back up. His dark-rimmed frames slipped down his nose. He adjusted them back into place. “Do you have class right now?”

  “No. I was headed to the library to study.”

  “Can I join you? Just for a bit. I have class in an hour.”

  “Um, yeah. Sure.”

  We walked together toward the library.

  “I’m sorry about the other night. I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable or lock you out. Whatever it was everyone else seemed to think. I wanted to talk. Honest. That’s all I’ve wanted to do and it seems I never can get the chance with you.”

  “Oh. It’s okay. I’m not upset or anything. Things just got weird.”

  “Yeah. They did…once the brigade came to your rescue,” he mumbled.

  “I didn’t expect that.”

  “Neither did I.” He looked up. His brown eyes were warm and soft. He smiled. “Can we start over? I feel like you have the wrong impression of me. I want you to get to know me. The real me, and then maybe one day, I dunno, I could take you to dinner?”

  Dammit. He was trying. I had to give him that much credit. He seemed like a nice guy too, but the interest wasn’t there. He didn’t do anything for me. No heart palpitations, no pull in my stomach, no tingling in my palms. Nothing. Not like a certain someone who could make me go all sorts of crazy.

  “Sure. We can start over. But I’m going to be honest, I’m not looking to date anyone. I…I want to stay focused on school this semester.” It wasn’t a complete lie.

  “Okay. Friends then. But friends can go to dinner, you know.”

  “Yeah.” I smiled. “I know.”

  We walked into the library and sat at a small table in the corner. I pulled out my calculus book and groaned as I looked over the assignment.

  “Not your favorite?” He smiled.

  “That’s putting it nicely.”

  “Maybe I can help.”

  “Really?”

  “Don’t look so surprised. I promise I’m smarter than I look.”

  He actually looked very smart but I kind of thought calculus was a foreign language to everyone. Not just me. “I thought you were smart. I just didn’t think I was dumb,” I admitted.

  “You’re not dumb.” He shook his head. “Let me guess, you have Professor Canner?”

  “Yeah.”

  “There you go. Worst calculus teacher ever. Guy’s brilliant, but has no clue how to teach. Let me see what you’re working on.”

  I handed him my worksheet. It wasn’t long before he was breaking things down into simple, easy-to-follow directions. Suddenly, all the craziness began to make sense.

  “Okay, so did I do it right?” I handed Noah my sheet of notebook paper.

  He reviewed my calculations and smiled. “Perfect. You may even be better than me now.”

  “Doubt that.” I smiled. “Thanks. For everything.”

  “Don’t thank me. I’m happy to help.”

  “I need to repay you. How about dinner, tomorrow night?”

  “Seriously?” His incredulous expression made me laugh.

  “Yeah, seriously. But it’s my treat, for all your help…and because it’s not a date.”

  “Hmm. Okay. It’s not a date, but you can’t pay for me.”

  “We’ll see.”

  He smiled. “I need to get to class, but I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

  “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

  After we parted ways I was in some serious need of caffeine so I made a stop at the campus coffee shop.

  “Double skinny caramel latte for Brinley,” the girl behind the counter called out.

  I grabbed my drink and my phone chimed. I stopped at a small round table, set my cup down and pulled out my phone.

  Ryder: Double, huh? Long night?

  I stared at the screen, rereading the message. My brain didn’t seem to want to comprehend the words. For one, why was Ryder’s number programmed into my phone? And two, how did he know—

  My head shot up and I looked around. Tucked into the corner was a delicious specimen of man. Ryder freaking Briggs. His overgrown hair fell over his forehead; he brushed it away, exposing gorgeous green eyes. His navy blue T-shirt clung to his chest and his legs were stretched out as he slouched back. He grinned, lifted one finger and motioned me over.

  My body, on autopilot, obeyed. One part of me wanted to run the opposite way but the other part of me wanted to curl up in his lap. God, I was pathetic. With my bag slung over my shoulder, I made my way over.

  Using his foot he pushed the chair out in front of him. “Sit.”

  I dropped into it like a goddamn dog in obedience school.

  Shaking my head, I started to stand. “I can’t stay. I have—”

  “You don’t have class.”

  I plopped back into the chair. “What? How do you know?”

  “I have my sources.” He grinned. “I’m not asking for a life commitment here, Brinley. Just sit. Drink your coffee and talk with me. That’s all.”

  “Do you even realize we went to high school together?” I blurted.

  “I know exactly who you are.”

  “Oh.” I sipped coffee.

  “So you didn’t answer. Long night?”

  “No. I just like strong coffee.”

  “Good answer. I’m not going to lie. Thinking about what might have kept you up at night both irritated and intrigued me.”

  I sputtered coffee.

  He raised an eyebrow. “You okay?”

  “Fine. Um, I think I need to go.”

  “Do I make you nervous, Brinley?”

  Nervous? That was putting it lightly. His nearness raked my body with about a hundred different emotions.

  “I don’t want to—although, I do find it adorable. Actually, that’s not the right word.” He leaned forward. “When your cheeks get red like that, I start thinking about other ways I could make them flush. Then I start thinking about keeping you up at night, which leads to thoughts about the way you kissed me. If that was fifteen, I can only imagine what a little time and experience can do. But then I see the way you get when you’r
e around me and it makes me wonder how much experience you’ve had since then.”

  Anger squashed all those other emotions. “That’s none of your business,” I snapped.

  “You’re right. It isn’t.” His voice went all low and husky. “But trust me when I say, I want to make it my business. But girls like you and guys like me don’t work. I’d ruin you and I don’t want to do that.” He stood, placed both palms on the table and leaned dangerously close to me. “Though I will tell you, you ruined me. I’ve held a lot of girls I kissed to your standard and I’ve been sorely disappointed.”

  My pulse pounded so hard I could barely hear the words coming out of his mouth. This was not happening. He did not just say I’d ruined him at fifteen. I hadn’t even known what the hell I was doing.

  He stared down at my lips and I held my breath. If I moved a fraction of an inch our lips would touch.

  He closed the distance and brushed his lips against mine. When the metal ring made contact with my mouth, I shivered.

  “Fuck,” he whispered, then spun around and left without another word.

  I glanced around, wondering if anyone had noticed our exchange, but no one seemed to be paying attention. The few people there had their heads buried in their laptops or were engrossed in conversation. I was grateful, because Ryder had left me all sorts of flustered.

  Chapter Four

  The next evening my phone chimed with a text.

  Noah: Chem lab ran late. Jumping in shower now. Meet me at my room? Roommate will let you in.

  We were supposed to meet in front of his dorm but now that wasn’t happening. I debated what to do. After yesterday, I thought of Noah as a lot more harmless.

  I called Fallon. She wasn’t exactly my first choice, but she’d have to do at the moment. I needed to tell someone where I was.

  “Would you do me a favor?”

  “Depends.”

  “Will you text me in ten minutes, and if I don’t respond call Mason and tell him I’m at Noah’s?”