Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged #4)

by Sarah Elizabeth

  Her mouth around me. Tugging her hair. Ramming myself deep inside.

  Screaming with pure ecstasy.

  I grasp the edge of the sink with both hands, lower my head, and close my eyes. I don’t think that it’d be fucking possible for me to sink any lower even if I tried.

  Shit. After figuring everything out yesterday about Holly, I snapped out of whatever funk I’d been living in, and decided to go straight over to see Alexis first thing this morning. I’ve been a total jerk, I know I have. And, I’ve risked throwing away the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

  When I was sitting up at the bar, right after Rye left, I’d decided that today would be the day to fix things. To make sure she knows that I’m sorry for the things I said, and make it known how much I fucking love her. I wanna be a part of her life. I need her to be a part of mine.

  So, tell me. What the hell happened between then and this?

  I walk back through to the bedroom, and pause in the doorway when I see her standing by the bed. “Listen, I—” She really needs to put some clothes on.

  “I know. You want me to leave, and that’s fine with me. I mean, it’s not like I was expecting anything else afterward or anything. But, could I maybe use your bathroom first?”

  “Go ahead,” I guess it’d be pretty off if I didn’t let her, especially after having just told her to get the hell out. “Listen, um … could we maybe just keep what happened last night between the two of us?” I ask when she goes to walk by me.

  She tilts her head to the side and smiles, “Sure. It can be our dirty little secret.” She licks her lips as she leans up to whisper in my ear, her breaths sending shivers over my neck and beyond. Not good shivers. Fucked up ones. I don’t ever want her to be that close to me again. She walks on by, and I breathe out a huge breath of relief that she’s agreed to keep what happened between the two of us last night, well, between the two of us.

  When I hear the bathroom door close and the water running, I walk through to the kitchen, and grab a couple of painkillers. Now that one problem has been eliminated, it’s time to eliminate the other.

  I rest my elbows on the counter, and my head in my hands while I wait for the coffee pot to fill. When I hear the water shutting off from the room next door, I grab a mug down from the overhead cupboard, and once I’ve poured myself a cup, I go to walk back through, stopping in the doorway when I hear a knock on the door. I glance at my watch, and then remember that I’d arranged with Layla that she’d grab the bar keys from me on her way into work.

  “Just a second!” I jog to my room, and grab the keys from my pants pocket before going over to open the door. “Hey, Layla.”

  “Oh, well you look like you had a good time last night!” Her grin is wide, and I try my hardest to fake a smile.

  “Yeah … it was, um … a heavy night.” I toss the keys in the air, and she catches them while throwing me a wink. “I’ll see you in a while.”

  “Later!” she says as she walks away, and as I’m about to close the door back up, I hear footsteps approach. “Oh, Brandon?”

  “Yeah?” I eye her warily when I see Layla grinning wide at me again.

  “Nice abs.” she smirks, and wiggles her eyebrows. “I’ll see you at seven.”

  I close the door up, and then go to grab my coffee from the kitchen counter. Shit. I forgot to give her the takings from last night. Knock! Knock! I shake my head and go to grab the bag from off of the side before heading back down the hallway.

  “I think yo— Alexis.” I immediately glance over my shoulder to make sure the coast is clear before opening up the door just enough to be able to step out and join her in the hallway. “Um … What are you d-doing here?” I put my hands in the back of my pants pockets, rolling back and forth on my heel as I try and fight back the bile that’s rising in my throat.

  “I know what you said, but I’m really struggling here, Brandon. I tried calling and I really think that when you listen to what I’ve got to say then you’ll understand.” Her bottom lip’s trembling, and her eyes are filling with tears. “I didn’t sleep with Neil, Brandon. I wouldn’t. I don’t and never have wanted anybody else. I’ve only ever wanted you and … and … I know what Holly did to you hurt you, but I— what was that?”

  Shit. A door closing from behind me has her trying to look around me and inside the apartment. This is not good.

  “What? Hmm? Oh, oh. Nothing. Nothing.” Shit. Damn. Fuck. “So, you were saying?” I try my hardest to keep my voice even while scratching the back of my head. Yeah, I know, a dead giveaway that I’m hiding something, I know this, but, shit!

  She hesitates, entwining her fingers low down in front of her, “I hate this and what we’ve become. I-I I miss you, Brandon. I miss waking up with you beside me in the morning, and I miss you holding me when I go to sleep at night.” She strokes her fingers along my jaw, and I close my eyes from her touch. I lower my head, and she slides her fingers through my hair while stepping closer. God I miss her, too.

  “Okay, I’m leav— oh!”

  Fuck. My. Fucked. Up. Life.

  Alexis immediately removes her hands away from my hair, and I see her taking a step back, her eyes darting between the two of us. She looks upset, shocked even. I’m not surprised, I was, too. “Alexis. Alexis, please.” I step forward, and put my hand out to her, but she steps away.

  “Well, it sure looks like we may not have to worry about keeping our dirty little secret such a secret any longer.” She throws me a wink, right in front of Alexis, and holds her hand up to her ear, mouthing for me to call her as she heads toward the stairwell.

  “Wow.” Alexis shakes her head and I hear her take a deep breath. “You spent the night with … you slept with Lisa? How and why? Oh … wow.”

  As I lower my head, I feel my shoulders slouch. When I’m brave enough to bring my gaze to meet with hers, I see sadness deep within those beautiful, brown eyes of hers. I can’t lie to her. She already knows. She just needs me to confirm it. I didn’t think in a million years that she would be the one to come here and apologize. I have to be straight with her, and it’s killing me. Nodding slowly, it takes me a couple of seconds to get the words out.

  “I’m sorry, Alexis. I’m so fucking sorry, I don’t remember—” I try to grab a hold of her arm and pull her around to look at me, but she shrugs me away. “Beautiful, please? Please—”

  “No. No, you don’t have the right. You don’t get to call me that anymore. I’ve just made a complete fool of myself. You just let me stand here and pour my feelings out to you. I was apologizing to you when you—you know what? I guess you just got what you always wanted, huh?” She looks and sounds resigned, turning her back on me while heading toward the stairwell.

  I got what I always wanted? “What? What does that mean? Alexis?” I go after her, and when she reaches the top step, she sharply turns around to face me again.

  “You finally managed to push me away, Brandon,” her voice is shaky as she answers. I lift my hand to wipe the single tear that’s slowly running down her cheek away. Seeing her like this is making me feel like I’ve just been sucker-punched really hard in the goddamn chest. The disappointment in her eyes. The hurt. The heartache. I did this. I did this to her. “Don’t.” She pushes my hand away, hastily wiping the tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. “Me and our baby? We’ll be much better off without you.” There’s no malice in her tone, there’s no hint of any emotion in her voice.

  She walks away, leaving me standing in the hallway alone. Dropping my shoulders as I lean up against the wall, a crushing feeling takes over my whole being when her words sink in, and it’s in this very moment that I realize; I’ve just lost her. I’ve just lost them.

  ***

  I’ve been pacing the entire length of my apartment since she walked away from me. You’re probably asking yourself why I didn’t go after her, or why I didn’t make her listen to me. Well, you didn’t see the look in her eyes like I did. Alexis has never looked at me
in that way before, and I pray to God that I never have to witness it again.

  I hurt her. I really fucking hurt her. Was she looking at me in the same way as she did when I accused her of sleeping with Neil? Nope. What about when I told her that I didn’t believe that the baby she’s carrying is mine? Nope, she wasn’t looking at me like that either.

  You’re right, I need to get over there and explain, but how the hell am I supposed to explain anything when I don’t know what the fuck happened myself?

  The last thing I remember is Rye getting a call from Alyssa, and a couple of minutes later, he told me he was headed home. I wanted to go and speak to her last night, as soon as I realized my mistake, but Rye told me not to go there until I was sober and I agreed with him. Why? Why the fuck did I agree? I should’ve gone there. I should’ve headed straight over and demanded she hear me out. Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna go over there now and refuse to leave until she hears me out. Do I have any idea what I’m gonna say to her? Nope. All I know is that I’ve gotta try. There’s no way I’m letting her walk away from me. Not this time.

  I grab my keys from off of the hallway table, break into a jog down the stairs as I head out of the building, and it doesn’t take me long to reach the dorm. I hammer on the door until it’s practically shaking off of the wall while trying to catch my breath. “Alexis! Alexis! Open up!”

  The door swings open, and I almost fall right inside, “Hey! What the hell, man?” Rye’s standing on the other side of the threshold, shirtless, and has half a piece of pizza hanging out of his mouth. “I know I said for you to come over today and talk with her, but are you crazy?”

  “Where is she?” I say each word between each breath that I take. “Rye, I need to see Alexis.”

  “She’s in her room.” His eyebrow knit tightly together, and he’s eyeing me with caution. I push my way past him and make my way toward her room. The room that used to be ours. The one that’s most likely never gonna be ours again. Not after what I did.

  “So, you’ve finally come to your senses?” Alyssa walks out from Ryes room with a lollipop hanging out of her mouth, and a glossy magazine in her hand. “I hope she kicks you in the balls before she agrees to take you back!” She hisses at me, but I really don’t give a shit what she thinks. It’s not her who I need to persuade here, it’s Alexis.

  “Alyssa, don’t get involved.” I hear Rye say as I knock Alexis’ door. I don’t just knock once. I know persistently, tapping away until it eventually swings open.

  When she sees me, she drops her gaze, “I have nothing to say to you.”

  “Well, I’ve got a lot things that I need to say to you,” I tell her, my stomach churns when I see a case in her left hand. “What’s with the bag?” I hold my gaze on her, and she lets out a sigh.

  “My fathers,” she shrugs her shoulders, and attempts to step around me, but I block her path with my arm. Nope. You’re staying here while you let me fix this. “I need to get away from this place for a while, Brandon. Please? Just let me through.”

  What the fuck is wrong with her? Why is she sounding so calm and level headed? Shouldn’t she be slapping the living crap outta me, or screaming in my face, telling me how much I hurt her and how much she hates me?

  “Alex, you didn’t tell me you were planning on going somewhere,” Oh, and here comes Blondie ready to stick her stupid perky little nose into our business again.

  “I didn’t know myself until a little while ago,” she offers Alyssa a small smile, but she doesn’t fool me. I can see right through it. She’s never been good at lying, and I guess that’s why I should’ve believed her. That’s why I should never have accused her of being unfaithful.

  She pushes past me, and I grab a hold of her arm, “I’m so sorry, Alexis. Please? You’ve gotta hear me out,” I tell her, and she slowly turns back to face me. She’s a shell of the person she was. There’s nothing showing in her eyes, or in the expression over her face. “Why aren’t you shouting? Why are you looking at me like it doesn’t matter anymore? Shit, Alexis! Why are you looking at me like I don’t matter to you anymore?” Yeah, and my voice just cracked. Do I care? Not particularly. Hell, I don’t even care that we’ve got a couple of witnesses standing over to the side of us. All I care about is her and getting her back.

  “C’mon, give the guy a break already. You both said some pretty nasty things to eachother. Fine, so he assumed you’d been playing away from home, but he knows he was wrong about that. You know that as well as we do. But, you lied to him and went to see Neil without telling him, and okay, so he flipped out, but come on, guys. Cut the drama, kiss, make up, and just go fuck her in the ass already!”

  “Ryan!” Alyssa squeals, and from the corner of my eye, I see her slap him hard around the head. Well, it’s pretty clear she hasn’t told either of them about what she walked into earlier today.

  “You think that I need to give him a break?” Yes, that’s it. Yes, give me a break. Let me explain. We can work this out. “Okay, I can do that.” Thank you, God.

  “See? I’m a total pro at this relationship thing now.” Rye sounds pretty proud of himself as he takes a step forward, a smug smile now crossing over his entire face.

  I shake my head, bringing my eyes back to Alexis, “Can we talk? Please?” I take a step closer, and reach for her hand, but she moves hers away and takes another step away from me.

  “Not this time.” She sounds full of regret. Yeah, well, so am I.

  “What did he do?” Trust Alyssa to stick her nose in when it’s not wanted. This is between me and Alexis, not her. Am I dating her best friend? No. No, I’m not. And, if Rye had any sense, he’d be rethinking his options, too.

  I rake my hands through my hair, and take a deep breath, “I didn’t do anythin—”

  “He slept with somebody else.” I close my eyes in defeat when Alexis speaks those very words. Does she really need to be telling them this? I’m not particularly proud of what I did.

  “What?” And, there she goes again. I hadn’t noticed until recently, but Alyssa is really starting to annoy the shit outta me. “You fucking asshole!” She takes a step forward, and when I glance over toward her and Rye, I see him place his arm across her waist, stopping her from getting any closer to me.

  “Shit, man. Who was it?” Oh, fuck. I grimace just thinking about waking up beside Lisa this morning, and shudder at the fact that I used my tong—I think I’m gonna hurl again.

  Alexis is watching me with raised eyebrows now, though her eyes are anything but readable. “Well, are you going to tell them, or am I?”

  No. I’m not gonna let her use Rye and Alyssa as a distraction so she can try and steer me away from the reason why I came over here in the goddamn first place. I came here for one thing, and one thing alone.

  I kneel down on the floor, and try to grab a hold of her hands again. She looks the other way, another tear rolling down her cheek. When she goes to walk by me, I wrap my arms around her legs. She’s not leaving here until she hears me out, “Alexis, I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you! My head’s been all over the fucking place sinc—”

  “Lisa.” When she says that name, my head instantly drops low. “He slept with Lisa.”

  “Lisa? As in Lisa the skank, Lisa? The same Lisa who you told one time that you wouldn’t even touch her with my dick?” The very same.

  Well, Alyssa’s keeping quiet so I’m guessing she’s on gossip overload right about now. Having these two here isn’t helping matters at all. “When are you gonna be back?” I ask her, keeping my arms firmly wrapped around her so she can’t walk away from me. “Alexis, when?” I press her for more, but all she gives me is a slight shrug of her shoulders. “No, you can’t leave here until we’ve sorted this out. I don’t want you to—”

  “I don’t know if we can this time.” Oh, she didn’t. Tell me she didn’t just say that. Of course we can sort this out. We have to be together.

  I grip her tighter, and she closes her eyes,
“No. Don’t say that. Don’t ever say shit like that, Alexis. I need you. I love you. I only want you!”

  “Let me go,” her voice is quiet, and she lets go off her case, taking a hold of my hands in hers while shaking her head. “Please? Please, Brandon? Just let me go.”

  “No. Not until you listen to me,” I say, and I get back on my feet, holding her shoulders now, making sure she can see right into my eyes. I need her to see that I’m not fooling around. She needs to understand. “Alexis, I love you. Only you. I’m sorry. I feel sick everytime I think about touching that—I need you to tell me that we’re gonna be alright. That you’re only going away for a couple of days, and when you get back, we can talk this out. Sort things out. I’ll move back in, or you can come and live with me, or—”

  “I have to go,” she whispers, tracing her fingers along my jaw before stepping around me and heading toward the main door. “I’ll call you.” I hear her say over to Alyssa.

  I’ve gotta do something here, “If I can’t have you Alexis then he’s won. You’re letting him win this!”

  She stills by the door, and turns back around once she’s opened it up wide, “You see this as a competition?” No, that’s not what I meant. Shit!

  “No, I see this as my whole world coming to an end. If I can’t have you in my life, then I wish I’d never woken up that day. Without you, Alexis. Without you, I’m nothing.” She’s staring right at me, and my hands are shaking by my sides.

  “Goodbye, Brandon.” She turns away, closing the door behind her. No. She’s not leaving me behind. I charge forward, but Rye blocks my path, and when I look at him, he shakes his head and pats my shoulder a couple of times.

  “Let her go, man. Give her some time.” My shoulders slouch, and I lower my head. I know he’s right. For once, he’s talking sense.

  She’ll come back. She has to come back to me.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  It’s been a whole week. I’ve tried calling her cell phone loads of times. At first she cut my calls, and then after what could have possibly been the fiftieth time I tried, they started to go straight through to her voicemail. I meant it. I’m not gonna give up until she knows that I made a mistake. I didn’t know what I was doing. I never meant to hurt her. I was supposed to be going to see her that morning. I was meant to be telling her that I got it wrong. About Holly; about her. But, everything fucked up. I fucked up, but I didn’t know anything about it at the time. I need her to believe me. She has to give me another chance. I’m not gonna stop until she takes me back.