Misguided Truths: Part Two (Misjudged #4)

by Sarah Elizabeth

  Knock! Knock!

  I stand up from the couch, and walk hesitantly to the door. Why? Well, because since she knocked the last time, when Lisa was here, nobody’s knocked since. Not even Rye. I went over to the dorm a couple of days ago to see if she was home yet, but when he was about to speak to me, Alyssa slammed the door on me after she screamed a few cuss words in my face. I don’t blame her, though. I deserved to be called everything she threw at me. Fuckwit. Asshole. Cheating scumbag. Loser. Fucking freakwit. Oh, and then she told me that she hoped that I caught something, and that she’ll laugh the day my dick falls off. Rye didn’t help matters any further when he told her that it wasn’t likely because I’d wrapped it three times.

  “Brandon?” I still my steps when I hear her voice. She’s here. It’s Alexis. My palms are getting sweaty, and my pulse is quickening. “Brandon, are you home?” She’s not shouting, I can barely hear her through the wooden door. She’s here to see me. She came back.

  I hurry forward to slide the chain across, and pull the door open, my heart hammering in my chest when I see her standing on the other side, “Alexis.” Surprised? Shocked? Nervous? Relieved? All of them, I can’t just pick one emotion to describe how I’m feeling right in this second. “Alexis, I’m so gl—”

  “Can I come inside please?” Her voice is small as she interrupts me, and I instantly take a step back, opening the door wider for her to come inside. I keep my eyes on her as she goes to walk by me, and close the door, watching her the whole time.

  She pauses half way down the hallway, and I see her glancing to her right. Shit. I walk right over, reach out, and pull my bedroom door closed. Yeah, I can see it in her eyes. She doesn’t wanna be looking in there, not knowing that somebody else was—I don’t wanna talk about that anymore, “The living room’s just this way.” I say, clearing my throat when I notice her eyes glazing over, but she nods slightly and continues to walk on through.

  I gesture my hand toward the couch, and go to take a seat beside her once she’s sat down and made herself comfortable, “Am I interrupting anything? Because I can always come back if—”

  “No! No, nothing. I have the day off and I don’t have any plans. Even if I did, I’d cancel them. Do you need me to get you a drink or anythi—?” I wipe my hands on my pants, and notice that even my hands are starting to uncontrollably shake.

  “No, I’m fine thanks,” she answers, and I notice that she’s started to play with her hands in her lap. “I only got back this morning, and I haven’t even had a chance to unpack yet, but I wanted to come and see you. We need to talk.”

  Yes. Yes, we do. “Alexis, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking—”

  “Brandon can you let me talk please?” she turns to face me as she asks, and I see deep frown lines displaying over her face. “You hurt me. You broke my heart, and I know that you’d already decided that you didn’t want us to be together anymore, but what you did wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair.” Her voice trails into a whisper, and she turns away, lifting one of her hands up to her face to hide her tears.

  I kneel down on the floor, grabbing her hands in mine. She turns back to look at me, and I see another couple of tears fall out from her eyes, “Alexis, please? I’m sorry. I know you didn’t sleep with Neil. I know this baby is mine, and I’ve always wanted to be with you, I swear it, I don’t ever wanna be—”

  “But, you doubted me, and I guess I can understand why you did. Everyone you’ve ever trusted hurt you. I get that, and you know you were wrong. All I’ve been doing this past week is thinking about you, me, and our baby. I realized that, deep down, I’d already forgiven you for the things you said.”

  “That’s good. That’s good.” I nod, and feel a smile starting to play over my lips. She forgives me.

  “I think we should try a—”

  “Alexis, I promise that you won’t regret this.” I stop her from saying anything else, and crash my lips on hers. God, it’s been way too long. Gripping her face with both of my hands, I pull her closer, firmly flicking my tongue across her bottom lip, waiting for her to grant me access. But, she doesn’t. When I open my eyes, I see her staring wide eyed back at me. I feel her shoulders tense, and my smile falters.

  She leans back, dropping her gaze back to her hands, “We should try and be friends, for our baby’s sake.” No. No. No. No. NO.

  I shake my head, and I keep shaking it. I feel like someone’s just stabbed a huge shard of glass straight through my heart, and it’s slowly bleeding itself to death. Everything I was feeling just before is beginning to fade away. “W-W-W-h-h-what?”

  “I don’t want our baby to grow up not knowing you, but I can’t be with you. Not anymore.” Her eyes are sad, and her voice is shaking. I don’t believe her. This isn’t what’s for the best. She knows this just as much as I do.

  “Friends? No. That’s not an option, Alexis. You know that we’ve never had the option of being just friends. I love you, only you. I swear I’ll never hurt you again. Alexis, please?” Yeah, I’m begging now, and I’ll keep begging for every second of each day for the rest of my life.

  “It’s friends or nothing, Brandon,” she goes to stand, and I twist around as she makes her way back toward the hallway. “Don’t make this any harder than what it already is. I want our son or daughter to know their father, but you betrayed me in the worst way. I can’t be with somebody I no longer trust. You slept with somebody else, Brandon. You slept with somebody else.” I jump straight onto my feet, and kneel down right in front of her again. She’s standing in the doorway, watching me with sorrowful eyes.

  “Please, beautiful? Please? No, you need to believe me.” I grip a hold of her waist, running my hands over her stomach, and she lets out a sob while lifting one of her hands up to cover her mouth.

  She’s looking directly into my eyes, and I’m gazing directly back into hers. She needs to believe me. I can’t be friends with her. I can’t, but I can’t live without her, either. She closes her eyes, and I hear her exhale a breath before she brings her eyes to meet back with mine again, “Would you have told me about Lisa if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes?” Shit. Fresh tears are rolling down her cheeks, and I loosen my grip on her, resting back on my heel. She already knows the answer to this. Would I have been able to hide it from her? No. No, the guilt would’ve been too much, but I wasn’t planning on her finding out about it the way she did either. “That’s what I thought. I’ll, um … I’ll see myself out.” And, she does. She walks away, not once turning back around before the main door closes up behind her.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  What am I doing here? Well, I’m apologizing for accusing her of doing something that she didn’t do. I’m trying to tell her that I’m sorry for the way I spoke to her when I last came here. The only problem? I’m never gonna know if she’ll forgive me because she isn’t able to answer me back.

  “I’ll be back in a few days with some fresh ones, Holls.” I whisper, kneeling down to stroke the letters of her name before standing back on my feet so I can head back to the apartment. I’m not sure how long I’ve been here, but I’ve said everything that I needed to say for now. Inhaling a deep breath, I turn back around, pausing my steps when I see Alexis sitting over with her mom. I didn’t know anybody else was here.

  We haven’t spoken to each other since she gave me her friends’ speech, and that was a little over a week ago. I watch her for a couple of seconds, and decide not to disturb her. She looks deep in thought, and I don’t wanna be in the way.

  I’ve been thinking a lot about what she said when she came over to my place, and the more I think about it, the more I can’t seem to accept that we’re really over.

  “Brandon?” I hear her call my name when I reach the iron gates. “The flowers you put down for Holly are beautiful.” She walks around me, and I see her offer me a small smile.

  “Yeah, well, they were her favorites, so …” I kick a stone across the pavement, sliding my hands in my jacket pockets, not sure whether
I should stop and talk, or just be on my way.

  “How are you keeping?” Does she really wanna know the answer to that? “Right …” Yeah, I think the look I must’ve just given her has answered her question on my behalf.

  “What about you? How are things?” I can’t just walk away from her. I can’t switch my feelings off, and I know she can’t either. It’s just hard to be around her, y’know?

  She slides her purse from off of her arm, and reaches inside to grab something out, “I called you a couple of days ago …”

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t know what I would’ve said to you so I thought it would be for the best if I didn’t answer.” What? I’m just being honest. “It’s hard to be around you knowing that I’m not allowed to hold you, or kiss you, dammit, Alexis, I wanna be with you.” Yep, definitely going for the honestly approach today it seems.

  “Here. I asked them for two copies. I was going to drop it through your door on my way by,” she passes something over to me, and I swear my heart just stopped beating. “I really wish you’d have answered my calls.” I can see she’s trying to hold back the tears, and when she turns to walk away, I have to stop her.

  I touch her shoulder, and my eyes land back on the picture. I have to blink a couple of times to clear my vision, because knowing that I missed this through my own selfishness isn’t such a nice feeling to have, “I missed the baby scan?” I lift my gaze after I’ve asked, and see her nodding at me, a sorrowful look seeping into her eyes. “Wow. And … um, is everything okay? Are you feeling okay?”

  “The baby is growing well and they seem happy with how everything’s going so far.” Her eyes have brightened, and I can already tell what an amazing mom she’s gonna be to our son, or daughter. Personally, I think we’re having a boy. “What?” She asks, and she must’ve caught me spacing out on her. Do I tell her what was running through my mind just now?

  “No, nothing,” I answer, but I notice her eyes narrowing on me, and I know I’m not gonna get away with not telling her. “I just always told myself that I would never be like my mom and dad, that’s all. I guess some things are just hereditary.”

  “Brandon, you’re nothing like your parents,” she tells me, a sternness within her tone now. “You’re going to be an amazing father.”

  “You’re wrong, Alexis. I should’ve been there with you when you went to see our baby for the first time. But, I wasn’t. I wasn’t there because I put my own feelings before anybody else’s. What you said, you were right. You and our baby will be better off without me.”

  “No. No, we won’t. What I said, I was upset. I didn’t mean some of the things I said to you back then. I didn’t. I was hurting. You hurt me, and I wanted to hurt you back.” She sounds ashamed of herself, and she looks up into the sky for a brief second. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”

  “Well, I don’t blame you. The only person I blame is myself because I screwed up the only thing I had going for me in my life. You, Alexis. It’s always gonna be you.” Did a tear just fall from out of my eye? Yep, but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything other than the two people standing right in front of me now. “So, what do you say we try and work on this friend’s thing you suggested?”

  “You really mean it?” Hope. Yeah, that’s what’s displaying in her eyes now.

  I lift my hand and reach out to take a hold of hers, stroking my thumb across the back of hers before shaking it the one time, “Friends?” I hate that word.

  “Friends.” She whispers, pulling me into her and squeezing me tight.

  Am I happy about this? Well, I know it’s not gonna be easy, but I’d rather have them in my life like this, than not have them in my life at all.

  Chapter Thirty

  “Hey, come on in,” I say with a smile, and open the door up wide. Heading back down the hallway, I stop when I reach my bedroom door, and glance over my shoulder, “Go ahead and wait in the living room. I just need another couple of minutes.”

  “No hurry,” she smiles, closing the main door behind her before walking by me and heading through to take a seat. “I told them we wouldn’t be arriving until around seven o’clock, so take your time.”

  Alexis called me last week, and asked me to help her out with something. It’s not exactly one of the most normal things she wants me to do, but I said yes anyways. You see, her father and Diane called her and invited us to go and stay with them for the weekend. Yeah, the both of us. As it turns out, she hasn’t told them that we’re no longer together. Why am I going along with this? Well, that’s an easy one to answer. She asked, and I’ll do anything she wants or needs me to do if it means I get to be a part of her life. After everything I’ve done, I owe her, and not only that, it also means that I get to spend the whole weekend with her. So, we’re gonna fake it. Pretend we’re still together while we’re in Salem.

  We’ve only seen each other a handful of times since we decided to be friends, well, since she decided. Is it weird? Yeah. Yeah, it is. The hardest thing is not being able to put my arms around her, or have her close to me. She knows that I’ll do anything to be a part of her life again, and I’m just hoping that she’s gonna wake up one day soon and tell me that she wants me back by her side.

  Am I nervous about going with her to her fathers? A little. Do I think we’re gonna be able to pull this off? More than likely. Am I happy about this situation? Nope. And, I can’t believe you even asked me that question. We shouldn’t need to pretend. We should still be together.

  I lay my case on the bed, opening it up before throwing a few essentials inside. Yeah, I maybe could’ve been a little more prepared and packed earlier, but you see, I didn’t get a chance. Layla fired one of the bartenders a couple of weeks ago after she caught him fucking one of the kitchen staff over the prepping counter, so I’ve been working a lot of extra shifts since then. The extra cash is most definitely welcome. Yeah, I’ve been pretty exhausted working from eleven in the morning until midnight, six days a week, but, it’s not gonna be long before little Brandy Junior arrives, and I wanna make sure I can afford to take some time off so if Alexis needs me to help her, then I’ll be right there by her side. Wait. Did I just say if? Okay, that wasn’t the word I was looking for. I’m gonna be there to help, whether she needs me to be or not.

  Alright. Done.

  I pull the zipper closed on the case, and drag it into the hallway before resting it by the front door, “Do you need a drink or something before we head … out?” You hear that? Yeah, that was me hesitating in the doorway. “What ... um? What are you doing?” I cock my head to the side and walk cautiously toward her.

  “Sorry,” she says, and she’s looking a little ashamed. “Don’t look at me like that.” Her voice is small, her cheeks are turning pink, and she’s looking even more embarrassed because of what I just caught her doing.

  I clear my throat, lift my hand, reach over, and take it from out of hers, “Well, it’s kinda hard to look at you in any other way after seeing what you just did.”

  “We need to go,” she says, bouncing from foot to foot, not making any eye contact as she goes to step around me. What? She thinks I’m just gonna ignore this? Nope. Not a chance.

  I put my hand out and grab her gently by the arm, “I thought you said we had plenty of time?” I ask, my voice hinting suspicion, and I raise my eyebrows up high. Turning her around until she’s looking my way, it takes her a couple of seconds to bring her gaze up to mine, but when she does, I see her anxiety. “Talk to me.” I whisper, bending my knees just enough so I can search her eyes. They say actions speak louder than words, and I’ve gotta admit, I’m really hoping that’s the case right now.

  “I’ll wait for you downstairs,” she answers and goes to turn around, but I tighten my grip on her some more. “Please?” She’s pleading now, and if the look over her face and in her eyes are anything to go by, then I’m assuming that she really doesn’t wanna be talking to me about this.

  I let my hand fall away from her, and then
watch as she turns around without giving me any kinda response. When she makes it to the door, I know I’ve gotta say something, “Alexis?” I call over to her, and she pauses in the doorway before slowly turning back around, her lips formed in a tight line, “Yes, Brandon?”

  “I miss you, too.”

  ***

  Alexis’ father and Diane are already standing on the porch as Alexis pulls into the driveway, and when she switches the ignition off, they both start heading toward us, wearing wide smiles over their faces. I hear her take a long, deep breath, and then she glances over in my direction, “Are you ready for this?”

  “What? Am I ready to pretend that I’m deeply in love with the love of my life who’s also the mother of my unborn child?” I raise my eyebrows, turning the question back around on her. What was she expecting me to do? Act like this is a normal situation? Exactly. Now, this? This is anything but normal, and she knows this just as well as I do.

  She closes her eyes for a brief second and turns to grab her purse from off of the back seat. When I look back out of the window again, I see the two of them now standing right beside the driver’s side door, and they’re starting to look impatient. They’re waving at the both of us, and I wave back before climbing out. While Alexis’ father pulls her into an embrace, I head straight over to the trunk and grab our cases out. I see Diane placing her hand across Alexis’ stomach, and you know what? This makes me smile. A lot. You wanna know why? Well, I’m smiling because I know that she’s always gonna have people around her who care about her almost as much as I do. If only she were able to see how much for herself, huh?