Restless Harmony

by Kylie Gilmore

  “Gabe, are you okay?”

  He set the coffee down. “Are you sore?”

  She blushed. “A little.”

  He wrapped his arms around her. “Tell me if I’m too much.”

  She looked down, clearly embarrassed. “It’s okay. It’s sore in a good way.”

  “I rode you hard, didn’t I?”

  “I liked it,” she admitted.

  He tipped her chin up. “God help me, I want to do it again.”

  “Yes.”

  He groaned and crushed her to him. “I promised myself I’d give you a chance to recover.” He released her. “Go get dressed.” He backed up a step, his eyes still taking her in hungrily. “I have no control around you.”

  She gave him a small impish smile. “I don’t want you to have control.”

  This woman was made for him. He didn’t have to hold back with her at all. It was a liberation he’d never experienced before.

  “I love you,” he said. The words hung in the air. He stared at her, waiting.

  She looked away.

  “Forget it,” he muttered.

  She met his eyes. “Gabe, one weekend of sex doesn’t mean—”

  He was on her in a flash, kissing her hard, making her feel what she did to him. She opened for him, melted against him, allowed him to take what he wanted. He broke the kiss. “It’s more than that.”

  “You’ve only known me four weeks,” she said gently. “I was just your waitress for a month before that.”

  He couldn’t argue with that. But he shouldn’t have to argue about love. Shouldn’t have to make his case. Dammit. He turned away from her and tried to rein himself in. He took a few deep breaths. She set something on the counter.

  “Gabe,” she said softly.

  That soft voice brought out the animal in him, a primal urge that made him feel alive and uncontrollably ravenous for her. He took another deep breath before he slowly turned and saw the condom on the counter.

  And then she dropped the robe.

  The animal took over. He bent her over the counter, spread her legs wide, and took her exactly as he’d imagined taking her last night. He took what she offered, and then took some more. And when he was finally finished, spent, it was with the dark realization that while she gave her body freely, she held back her heart.

  He got dressed and left without another word.

  ~ ~ ~

  Zoe took a shower after Gabe left, her mind racing with all that had happened this weekend. She soaped up and began to wash. She had whisker burns on her breasts, her inner thigh, and the side of her neck. Those were just what she could see. As if she needed a reminder of all Gabe had done to her. Gabe’s declaration of love was a showstopper. Pulled her right out of the sexy dreamworld she’d been living in and straight into reality with a bang. Because that was crazy. He couldn’t possibly be in love with her so soon. That wasn’t how love worked. It was a gradual thing. Several dates had to be involved, long phone calls, a gradual revealing of personal experiences. Not just one weekend. He was in lust, not love, and she wouldn’t believe it unless he stuck around. She’d had more than a few I love yous from men, all revolving around sex, that never bothered with her again. And just look at how Gabe had left in complete silence as soon as he’d gotten what he’d wanted from her.

  A stab of guilt hit her. Maybe he was hurt that she hadn’t responded in kind.

  She frowned. She hadn’t meant to hurt him. But, at the same time, she couldn’t say I love you back. Yes, she had strong feelings. He was a good man, had helped her out when she needed it most, had shown her a good time, but that wasn’t love. It was too early for that and whatever it was he’d stirred up inside her needed time to learn what exactly it was.

  Lust definitely. Strong like, absolutely. Not love.

  ~ ~ ~

  Gabe went home to get ready for work, mad at himself for telling Zoe he loved her. He shouldn’t have expected her to meet him where he was at. Hell, he was still shocked to find himself in love so fast, but he knew deep in his heart that was exactly what this was. He felt at peace with her—no small feat for him—after feeling so unsettled these last four years. And the sex. He wasn’t letting go of that for anything. As long as she’d let him, he’d have her again and again.

  Given time, she could learn to love him. Or was she like Alyssa, loving his money and what he could buy her more than just him? His chest ached. Every time he thought of Alyssa’s death, he was swamped with guilt. He pushed the painful memory back to the dark corner of his mind where it lived, always popping up at the worst times, and headed to work. But he found it hard to focus on work. His mind was a muddle of all that had happened this weekend—Zoe screaming his name in ecstasy mostly, but also the letters that were proof that he’d once again wronged those he loved the most. His father had gotten a raw deal while Vinny got off scot-free. That was just wrong. By the time he wrapped up the day with a look at a despondent Ms. Walker’s severance contract, he really needed a drink.

  He called Shane to see if he wanted to meet at the bar. “Hey, buddy, you got time for a beer?”

  “I wish,” Shane said. “I’m on daddy duty tonight. Hold on.” He called off in the distance. “Abby! No dancing on the coffee table!” Abby was his two-year-old daughter. Loud wails promptly ensued. “Ah, shit,” Shane mumbled. “This one falls apart if I raise my voice.” Shane tried to explain himself to Abby, but Gabe knew it was hopeless once a female was upset. “I only raised my voice because last time you slipped and hit your head, remember?” The crying continued with heart-wrenching, gulping sobs. Then in a much gentler voice, Shane said, “C’mere, baby,” and hung up.

  Gabe couldn’t imagine being outnumbered by females the way Shane was at home. You’d think he’d be dying for a guys’ night at the bar. Of course, Rachel was probably working. She still did the bookkeeping for all three of their shops. He briefly considered going home, finding Zoe, and losing himself in her softness again, but dammit, he had to give her space after all the sappy love stuff he’d been stupid enough to blurt out. He called his brother Jared, who lived nearby in Eastman and was always good for a beer when he wasn’t on call. He was finishing up his residency at Eastman Hospital.

  “Dr. Reynolds,” Jared answered cordially. He knew who was calling. He just loved to rub it in that he was the doctor in the family.

  “Yeah, I got this rash—”

  “No cure. Expect your dick to fall off in a week. Next patient!”

  Gabe chuckled. “You up for a beer, Dr. Dipwad?”

  “Fuck you and yeah.”

  “Meet you at Garner’s.”

  “Give me twenty minutes.”

  Gabe was halfway through his beer when he felt a manly thump on his back.

  “Hey, sweetcheeks,” Jared said, taking the bar stool next to him. “Monday night beer. Just what I needed. I worked all weekend. Plight of the rookie surgeon.” He signaled to the bartender, ordered something on tap, and turned back to Gabe. “So what’d you do this weekend?”

  Gabe took a pull on his beer. “I went to Pittsburgh.”

  Jared barked out a laugh. “No, really.”

  Gabe raised a brow. “Really.”

  Jared’s beer arrived, and he took a long swallow. “What’d you go to Pittsburgh for? Some kind of lawyer conference?”

  “I decided to be spontaneous, show up at the airport, and go wherever the next flight took me.”

  “That’s a boneheaded move.” He paused and slowly smiled. “Who’s the girl? Zoe?” Jared always was good at putting the missing pieces together.

  “Yup.”

  “Ha! I knew it. Only time a guy does a boneheaded move like blow his money on plane tickets and, let me guess, five-star hotel?”

  “Yeah,” Gabe admitted.

  “Is to impress a woman,” Jared finished.

  “Shut up.”

  “So what’re you doing here with me instead of hanging out at her place? I’m figuring after a weekend at the five-star hote
l, she’s all over you.”

  “None of your damn business.”

  Jared chuckled and ordered nachos. His brother was always in good spirits. Lucky bastard.

  They drank beer and watched the Knicks on the TV over the bar. Jared finished his nachos and glanced sideways at Gabe. “I saw Dad at the hospital.”

  Gabe’s heart kicked up. “Did he get his test results back?”

  “Not yet. Mom wants us at Sunday dinner. He’ll know by then.”

  Gabe was suddenly furious at Vinny for being sick. The only reason he’d been able to handle losing his biological father was because he knew he still had Vinny. Now he was going to lose both of them. He couldn’t lose any more people in his life. It made him want to rush home to Zoe and make her promise to never, ever leave him. And wasn’t that just pathetic after the unrequited I love you hanging out there like an elephant between them?

  He looked at Jared, who’d returned to the game.

  “Aren’t you upset?” Gabe asked tersely.

  Jared turned, serious now. “He’ll pull through.”

  Gabe stared at the bar. Fuck. And then he remembered the letters. How Vinny had betrayed them all, just like he was doing right now.

  “I found letters in the studio attic from Vinny to Mom,” Gabe said.

  Jared set his beer down. “Oh yeah? Were they kinky?” He winked.

  “They were having an affair for three years before they married.”

  Jared let out a whistle. “That’s a long time.”

  “Vinny wrecked everything.”

  “I don’t see it that way. Mom was unhappy before. She married him and got happy. No more sullen silences, no more fights. And we got three brothers out of it and a dad that actually gave a shit about us.”

  “Maybe if they hadn’t had an affair, Mom and Dad would’ve worked things out.”

  Jared waved that away. “Ancient history.”

  “I don’t know how I can ever look Vinny in the eye again.”

  “He’s not a monster.”

  Gabe’s hand gripped the beer bottle harder. “Vinny broke up our family.”

  Jared clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Nothing’s changed. He was still Dad to all of us for years. And some of us weren’t the easiest kids to live with either. Can you imagine being a stepdad to three boys that hated your guts? A teenager, a punk, and a daredevil?” Gabe had been the teenager, Luke the punk, Jared, still and always, the daredevil. He went skydiving whenever he got the chance.

  “Our dad died alone,” Gabe reminded him.

  “He was happiest that way.” Jared chugged his beer and finished it with a loud ahhh. “Not a people person, to put it nicely.”

  Gabe thought about that. It was true their father had never been an affectionate man, but he must’ve felt love at some point for their mother to marry him.

  “I’m still pissed at Vinny,” Gabe said.

  Jared raised a brow. “So he’s not on a pedestal for you anymore. Who can stand the height up there anyway? And don’t forget Mom’s no saint in all this. You gonna be mad at Vinny, might as well be mad at Mom too. She didn’t have to shack up with him. Stick those letters back in the attic and forget you ever saw them.”

  “You don’t think I should give the letters back to Mom in case something happens with Vinny?”

  “Mom knows where they are. She put them there.” Jared lowered his voice. “Seriously, don’t open this can of worms now. What’s done is done. We all survived.”

  Gabe took a long drink of beer, thinking hard. It still didn’t sit right with him the way his own father died with no one on his side. He’d been cuckolded, humiliated, pushed out of his own home, and then his three sons had abandoned him for a new dad. They’d never wanted to visit him in his fancy city apartment, had given him major attitude, and often ran wild all over the city when they were forced to visit. Luke would steal cash from their dad’s wallet, Jared would provide a distraction (often a small fire), and Gabe would go with his brothers to make sure they didn’t end up kidnapped or in jail or dead. That whole situation had been fucked up.

  Gabe scowled. A marriage was a legally binding contract. His mom had broken that contract and upended all of their lives.

  “Hey, don’t tell Luke,” Jared said. “You know how long it took him to come around to Vinny.” Luke had held out the longest, trying to stay loyal to his “real” dad, even as he pretended to his real dad that he hated his guts. Until Luke ran away from home at ten years old, riding his bike to the train station to move in with his real dad, and spun out on his bike, breaking his arm. It was their stepdad who took Luke to the hospital, who took him out for ice cream after. His “real” dad, when he saw him weeks later with the cast, had said only, “Guess you learned your lesson.”

  Gabe blew out a breath. “When did you get so smart?”

  Jared chuckled. “Born that way.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Zoe spent every night that week at Gabe’s place after her dinner shift at Garner’s. Even Thursday night when she worked the late shift, he’d given her the key to his place and told her to stop by. He didn’t even mind Fred staying with her, except, after that first night, Gabe moved Fred’s crate downstairs because when she screamed Gabe’s name as he always demanded, it set Fred off on a flurry of barking.

  Gabe was more serious than he’d been on their fun weekend away. When he let her in the front door, he rarely smiled and when he did, the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. She read pain in those dark blue eyes.

  “Is it Vinny?” she’d asked the first night she’d come over. She knew he’d been really worried about his stepdad before they went away for the weekend.

  “Put Fred outside.”

  He waited for her to let the dog out; then he took her hand and led her up to his room. He started undressing right away, unbuttoning his shirt, watching her with a heated gaze. She didn’t undress, knowing he liked to do that for her. She waited, hoping he’d let her in, his every movement radiating tension. He still didn’t speak, and when she tried to, he distracted her with a kiss that quickly led to her stripped naked, panting, until he pushed her over the edge, making her scream his name again.

  She still checked in with him each night, concerned about his lack of humor, his lack of warm smiles. Something was definitely not right with him.

  “Are you sure everything’s okay?” she’d ask.

  “Fine.” Then he’d grab her and all conversation ceased. He only seemed at peace after, spooning her from behind, holding her close. The only words he gave her were a murmur in her ear. “My Zoe.”

  He hadn’t repeated the “I love you” again. She figured he realized it was just the heat of the moment and not the real thing. He still wanted her endlessly and that was enough for her. She was almost afraid to think of a future with him, afraid to jinx things with her history of breakups at eight weeks. It didn’t make sense that he would fit into that pattern, but still, there it was, nagging at her. They were only at five weeks.

  Friday night she had a gig in the city and invited Gabe to watch her perform with her band. They played a lot more of her original songs when they performed in clubs. Whenever Gabe heard her singing in the shower in the morning, he’d tell her she should put out an indie album, which thrilled her, and then he’d take over the shower, take over her, which overwhelmed her. In the best way possible.

  She wanted him to get to know their music. The club, Harvey’s, was a small basement venue, but with great acoustics. The front had a foosball table and a low-key bar, but all the action was in the dingy back room, where a small stage regularly featured bands and stand-up comedians. Gabe watched from a small round table as they warmed up. Jordan spent an unusual amount of time talking over the songs they’d perform and some improv stuff he wanted to show off her voice.

  “What’s up, Jordan?” she asked. “You seem nervous. We’ve got our set. Why’re you trying to add in all this extra stuff?”

  “Yeah, what’s up?” Alex a
sked.

  Wade stared, waiting for the answer.

  Jordan looked around. Only Gabe and the guy that ran the place were here. He spoke in a low voice anyway. “Ronald Washington from Hep Six is coming to hear us play tonight.”

  Zoe whooped. “Hep Six? Omigod! This is so exciting!”

  Gabe cocked his head to the side in question, but she waved him away.

  “Shh,” Jordan said. “This is top secret, so don’t tell anyone, even your stupid-ass boyfriend, Zoe.”

  She immediately went to defend Gabe. “He’s not—”

  “They might want us as an opener for their European tour.” Jordan dropped that bombshell with a triumphant smile.

  She opened her mouth, ready to squeal in excitement, when Jordan promptly covered her mouth with his hand. So much time had passed since Jordan had first mentioned Hep Six, she thought they’d been passed over.

  “Haw de thaw happaw?” she said behind his hand.

  Jordan dropped his hand and grinned. “Apparently, they picked another band—”

  “Who?” Wade asked.

  “Yellow.”

  “Ooh,” they said in unison. Yellow was a really good jazz band, up and coming, playing larger venues all the time.

  Jordan went on. “Yellow had to drop out after their lead singer had some vocal cord trouble.”

  Zoe put her hand to her own vocal cords protectively. Even when she screamed, she didn’t go full throttle, always mindful of her voice. “So we’re second choice.”

  “Yeah, but now they’re desperate,” Wade put in.

  “I do best in desperate circumstances,” Alex said.

  “We have to be tip-top above the zone, guys,” Jordan said. “We’ve been waiting for our big break. This is it.”

  They returned to warming up, all of them pumped. Gabe approached the stage area just before they began. “Break a leg, Zoe.”

  “Thanks! Now go back to your seat. This is a big night for us.” She leaned forward and whispered, “A guy from Hep Six is here! They’re awesome, and he wants to hear us!”