Restless Harmony

by Kylie Gilmore

  He kissed her then, a quick, hard kiss that pulled all of her scattered nervous energy and focused it back to the kiss, immediately calming her.

  “Thanks,” she breathed. “I needed that.”

  “I know.” He turned and headed back to his seat, all swagger, making her smile.

  ~ ~ ~

  Zoe sang, focused on Gabe, who frequently smiled and applauded enthusiastically. It was so good to see that smile back again. It was one of the best performances they’d ever done, and she was flying high. Ronald came up after to congratulate them.

  “I liked your sound,” Ronald said. “And you—” he looked right at her “—you’re like a young Ella Fitzgerald. That scat you got going on. Hoo-ee!”

  Zoe beamed. Jordan put his arm around her proudly.

  “Let me talk it over with the band and our manager Don,” Ronald said. “You’ll be hearing from Don on Monday one way or another.”

  “Thank you,” Jordan said. “It was an honor to have you here.”

  Ronald smiled, winked at her, and headed toward the exit. As soon as he left, Jordan grabbed her and spun her around. “I think we’re going to get it, Zoe-bean! You and that gorgeous voice.”

  She squealed and laughed. He put her down again. “Thank you,” she said, “but P.S. you know it’s a group effort.”

  Wade and Alex joined them. They huddled close, talking excitedly about the possibility of the European tour. It was for three months, but if ticket sales were good, Jordan said, they might add extra dates and expand it to America.

  “What’re you all excited about?” Gabe asked, appearing at her side with a smile.

  She bounced on the balls of her feet. “We might go on tour with Hep Six!”

  Gabe lost his smile. “Wow.”

  “This is really good news,” she told him. “This is the break we’ve been waiting for.”

  Gabe shoved his hands in his pockets. “For how long? Where?”

  “Europe!” she chirped. She hadn’t been to Europe in ten years.

  “How long?” Gabe pressed.

  “For the summer. Three months,” she said, suddenly realizing why he wasn’t sharing in her excitement.

  “That’s great,” Gabe said, only he didn’t sound like he meant it.

  Jordan slung an arm over her shoulders. “It is great.”

  Gabe narrowed his eyes at Jordan. Zoe shrugged Jordan off and pulled Gabe aside. “Of course I’ll miss you, but we’ll stay in touch. Anyway, it’s not definite.”

  “A lot can happen in three months,” Gabe said with a dark look at Jordan.

  “Meaning?”

  “You tell me.”

  “That we won’t be together?”

  He frowned. “I don’t know.”

  She put her hand on his arm. “I want to be together. Maybe you could visit me for part of it. It’s Europe!”

  Gabe was quiet.

  “It’s no Pittsburgh,” she teased.

  A reluctant smile tugged at his lips. “It’s no Pittsburgh. That’s for sure.”

  “It’ll be okay,” Zoe said.

  He wrapped his arms around her. “I feel like I just found you, and I’m losing you.”

  “You’re not. It’s temporary. Anyway, it’s still a maybe.”

  He pulled her away from the band to a quiet corner of the room. “Will it make you happy?” he asked, cupping her cheek.

  She smiled. “Very.”

  “Then I’m all for it.”

  “You’re so sweet and generous. I love that about you.”

  He gazed deep into her eyes. “I love everything about you, Zoe.”

  Her heart slammed into her throat. “Wow. That’s just so—”

  “Yeah.” He dropped his hand and looked away.

  “I’m falling for you too, Gabe.”

  His eyes snapped back to hers.

  “I love you too,” she said over the lump in her throat.

  He stared at her for a long moment before crushing her to him. “People I love die on me,” he said quietly in her ear. “Promise me you won’t die. I’ll die for you.”

  “Gabe, what are you talking about?” He was still holding her tightly, and she couldn’t see his eyes. “No one’s dying on anyone.”

  He loosened his grip and dropped his hands. She caught his pained expression before he looked to the floor. “It could happen,” he said quietly. “It has happened. My twin, my father, Alyssa, and—” His voice choked. “And now Vinny.”

  Her heart squeezed, and she hugged him again. He held her tightly. She hadn’t known about the twin. She’d ask him about that later. Geez, that was a lot of death to handle. She pulled away enough to look in his dark blue eyes so full of pain. “It’s okay. You had some bad luck. That’s over now. From here on out, only good things. And P.S. Vinny’s not dying.”

  He swallowed visibly.

  “I hereby break your curse,” she added.

  One corner of his mouth quirked up in a small smile. He kissed her softly, and then he kissed her long and deep. “Let’s go.”

  “I usually hang with the band for a few drinks after. You know, to talk about the set and what we want to do next time.” She laced her fingers with his. “Join us.”

  “All right, but then we’re going back to my place so I can remind you what you’ll be missing in Europe.”

  She grinned. “I won’t be missing it if you come with us.”

  “Zoe, I can’t miss three months of work. I’ll have to start all over again building my practice.”

  “Didn’t you say you wanted to do something different?”

  “Bumming around Europe following my girlfriend around doesn’t sound like a good career move.”

  “Then I want two weeks in Paris. The city of love.”

  “Isn’t it the city of light?”

  She narrowed her eyes.

  “Or love,” he quickly amended.

  “Zoe,” Jordan called, “we’re going to Rodeo Clown. You coming?”

  “We’ll be there,” Gabe answered for them.

  When they got to the bar, Gabe waited in a crowd to get them drinks. Jordan pulled her down to the other end of the bar to sit with them. Jordan was doing his usual grilling, questioning the band members on what they could improve when all the while he had definite opinions on what they needed to work on. She listened patiently, mostly agreeing with Jordan’s assessment of what they could improve. Gabe kept looking over, looking disgruntled and out of place at the bar that catered to a young grunge crowd. It was Wade’s favorite bar.

  Zoe turned away from Gabe’s dark scowl. Someone’s hand settled on her shoulder. She turned. Jordan.

  “This tour is going to happen,” Jordan said urgently. “I can feel it. Zoe, you should let your landlord go. Freedom on the road is the only way to travel. You know the long-distance thing sucks.”

  “That never works out,” Wade put in. “Long distance is what killed my marriage.” He’d received divorce papers upon returning from a six-month gig he’d taken years ago with another band. Of course, he’d also slept with a different woman in each city, so that might’ve had something to do with it too.

  Zoe glanced over at Gabe, who’d finally gotten their drinks and was heading straight for her. His stride was confident, his expression serious. Her heart kicked up as he got closer, as she saw the heat in those dark blue eyes. “I’m not giving him up that easily,” she said under her breath.

  “Big mistake,” Jordan said.

  “Well, it’s my big mistake, isn’t it?” She hopped off the bar stool and went to Gabe’s side. She was tired of Jordan always acting like he knew what was best for her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Zoe glanced over at Gabe as he drove them home that night. At his short slightly disheveled hair, his strong jaw that made him look like he could handle anything. Even, she realized now, a deep pain he kept hidden inside.

  “Gabe, when did you lose your twin?”

  His jaw clenched and unclenched. “Very early
. My mom said she lost him at three months. At least I always felt it was a him.” He paused. “I know it’s strange, but I’ve always felt like I was missing part of me.”

  “That makes sense. I can’t imagine anything closer than sharing the womb. I mean, I feel close to you just sleeping next to each other. I imagine twins are pressed up against each other in there.”

  He glanced over. “You don’t think it’s strange?”

  “Not at all.”

  “No one’s ever understood that about me. People say, you’re surrounded by brothers, how could you miss the brother you never really knew? I can’t explain. It’s just different is all. I’ve always missed him.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Gabe nodded, and they drove home in companionable silence. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander, thinking of Gabe growing up with five brothers, yet always missing the one. She’d always wished she was a twin. It seemed so cool to have a close sibling going through life at your side.

  When they got home, she let Fred outside and tucked him back in his crate. Gabe waited for her, took her hand, and led her straight to his bedroom. She waited, knowing he liked to take charge, but something was different about him tonight. Instead of ripping her clothes off, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her for a very long time.

  Finally, he pulled back and cupped her face with both hands. “Being with you is the first time I felt complete. The first time I didn’t feel like I was missing part of me.”

  Her heart squeezed and tears sprang to her eyes. “Oh, Gabe.”

  He kissed her. “Don’t die on me,” he whispered fiercely. “Promise.”

  “I promise. Not until I’m one hundred and ten.”

  He scooped her up and carried her to the bed. “Not even then.”

  ~ ~ ~

  Gabe woke Saturday morning with a naked Zoe tucked in his arms, exactly where she belonged. He nuzzled Zoe’s neck, inhaling her sweet scent as she slept peacefully. He’d never felt closer to another human being, and he wasn’t going to lose Zoe to Jordan or Europe. He had to nail this thing down. What he really wanted to do was marry her, get a ring on that finger before she left, but even he knew that five weeks together, even with how strongly they felt about each other, was too soon. He stroked the curve of her hip. She’d probably say no if he proposed. The only time she’d not give him a yes. She was careful that way. He understood. She had some jerks in her past, had confided that to him a few nights ago. But at thirty-five, he knew what he wanted. It was her. Case closed.

  Damn, he was going to miss her. He just knew they were going on that tour. He had to make her dreams come true, so she’d have great memories of their time together and come back to him. He remembered everything she’d said she dreamed of that night when they’d stayed up late talking. She wanted her own album, to drive a Porsche, make homemade ravioli, learn to surf, and be a princess in a castle. He’d already taken care of the surfing and driving the Porsche (sort of), so today he’d ask Vinny for help with the homemade ravioli. He planned on looking into a recording studio so she could make her own album. He knew a music producer from his city-lawyer days. And while he couldn’t literally make her a princess in a castle, he planned on treating her like one.

  She stirred in his arms, rolled over to face him, and gave him a sleepy smile.

  “Morning, sunshine,” he said, already reaching for the condom. He had to replenish his supply soon. They were going through them like candy. “I’m going to make all your dreams come true.”

  She blinked her eyes open and glanced down at him rolling the condom on. “All of my big dreams?”

  He chuckled, climbing on top of her, settling between her legs. “All of your dreams. I’ll start with loving you.” He could say love now and know she was okay with it. It was an amazing thing.

  “Oh, Gabe,” she said softly, wrapping her arms and legs around him.

  He lost himself in her softness. He always did. She welcomed him in, body and soul, made him complete.

  ~ ~ ~

  Gabe arranged to stop by his parents’ house that afternoon for the ravioli making. But first he took Zoe to a jewelry store known for quality diamonds.

  She wouldn’t get out of the car.

  “Come on, Zoe. What’s the problem?”

  Her eyes were wide. “What are we doing here?”

  He tugged on a lock of her hair. “I want to get you something.”

  “What?”

  “Whatever you want.”

  “Whatever I want!” she screeched.

  “Yeah, come on.”

  “Gabe, I don’t want you to spend a lot of money on me. Seriously.”

  “I want to.” He cupped her cheek; her skin was so soft. “I love you.”

  Her eyes went soft. “I love you too.”

  He couldn’t resist kissing her. She yielded immediately, her tongue darting out, touching his. A dark pulsing throb had him wanting to get her somewhere private, but he had to make do with a hot kiss. He pulled away and gazed at her pink lips, her breathing slightly quickened, her pupils dilated. How was he supposed to let her go?

  He took her hand. “I want you to wear my ring.”

  “Why?” she asked suspiciously.

  Not the response he’d been hoping for. And for the first time he realized that she might have some insight into the way his mind worked, playing the long game, trying to anticipate pitfalls and steer around them. Because the truth was he never would’ve brought up a ring if she wasn’t going away. It was too soon for a marriage proposal, but he wanted that ring on her finger to stake his claim. To keep Jordan and any other interested men, of which he was sure there’d be plenty, away from her. Off limits. His.

  “Because I want you to have something nice,” he said.

  “Then I’ll take an inexpensive bracelet or earrings.” Her expression was serene, not argumentative at all, which made him feel even worse for all of his ulterior motives.

  “The ring means more.”

  She frowned. “Is this a proposal? Because I didn’t hear a question in there.”

  He gritted his teeth. “Just let me buy you a damned diamond ring.”

  “No.”

  It was the first time she’d refused him anything. “Why not?” he barked.

  “Because you want to give it to me for the wrong reasons. I might not understand all of those gears cranking in that big ol’ brain, but I know well enough that you’re jealous of Jordan and you hate the idea of me going on this European tour. You want to stake your claim. Like some kind of manly one-upmanship.” She deepened her voice in an impersonation of some caveman, probably him. “Zoe mine.”

  The fact that she was right on the money irked him. “It’s jewelry! Women love jewelry! Excuse me for trying to buy you something nice.”

  “You can’t buy my love. You can’t buy my fidelity. I give those things to you on my own. If you don’t trust me enough to handle a few months away for the opportunity of a lifetime, for my biggest dream come true, then maybe…” His heart clutched. “Maybe we’re not—”

  He couldn’t bear it. He pulled her close and kissed her tenderly, needing to show her what was in his heart because his words were screwing everything up. She didn’t pull away. She sank into him, allowing him to lose himself in her softness once more. He pulled away and, without another word, put the car into gear, and pulled out of the lot.

  “You can’t always shut me up with a kiss, you know,” she said.

  His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. “It works pretty well.”

  “Maybe in your world kissing the daylights out of someone and throwing money at a problem works—”

  “My world?” He snorted, and she got quiet. He glanced over to see her glaring daggers at him. He’d never seen Zoe mad before. She was his sunshine. His cheerful, bubbly, smiling ray of light.

  “But that’s not going to work in this case,” she bit out. “I appreciate the idea of a gift, but I feel like you’re going off the rail
s here because what you really mean to say is that you don’t want me to go.”

  “Fine! I don’t want you to go.”

  “I knew it!”

  “Jordan loves you. And the truth is, three months away from me, you and him together, well, it’s bound to happen.”

  “You just assume I’ll sleep with him because we’re on tour? Thanks a lot. I can see you think very highly of me. And P.S. he loves me like a sister.”

  Gabe shook his head. “Ask him. It’s obvious to everyone but you.”

  “You’re nuts. And jealous and possessive. That’s not love, Gabe. That’s just creepy.”

  “You think I’m creepy? Because I have perfectly normal feelings of jealousy when another man is moving in on my woman?”

  She gestured wildly. “There are so many things wrong with that sentence I don’t even know where to begin.”

  “How about you begin with the fact that you can’t admit there might be something going on with Jordan? Why don’t you admit you can’t commit to me because of him?”

  “I’m not admitting to things that aren’t true.”

  His jaw clenched. “You’re mine. In every way. Body and soul. Especially body.”

  “You’re a freaking Neanderthal.”

  “Nice.”

  “This tour isn’t even definite! All this fighting, all this Neanderthal posturing over nothing. At least now I know how you really are.”

  “And how is that?”

  “Unsupportive and jealous. Maybe you don’t want me to have success because you’re not happy with your own life.”

  The accusation stung. Not the unsupportive jealous part because he admitted that he wanted nothing more than to keep her with him always and would do battle with any man that tried to come between them. But the fact that she thought he would hold her back because his own career sucked. Sure, his law practice was a joke. Half the time he didn’t even get paid. He was more arbitrator than legal counsel, working through neighborly problems. Dammit, he didn’t want to be that man. But he didn’t want to go back to his old life either. What the hell was he doing with his life?

  “You’re right,” he finally said. “I was jealous and unsupportive.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’ll stay out of your way.”