Everything I Want

by Natalie Barnes

  Minutes pass and I hear the door opening. Frankie! He comes in slowly, yawning, and tosses me the key card before flopping back down on the bed. “It’s all yours, sweetheart,” he says to me. I hold the card tight in my hand and bend over to kiss him on the top of his head. “Thank you,” I whispered. Getting myself up from the bed, I start to exit from his room; then suddenly he says, “Don’t think you’re getting off the hook that easy. I want details soon.” With that, I close the door behind me. Damn. And I almost thought I had a clean getaway.

  Once I’m in my room, I go straight for the bathroom. Turning the shower on, I stripped out of my dress and heels. For some reason, I feel like if I scrub myself hard; then last night never happened. Soaking under the spray of the shower, I stand there. Not moving. Just letting the water cascade down me. And images of Tristan start to race through my mind. I didn’t realize I was doing it; but when I started thinking of last night, I began to touch myself. Shit! I hate that Tristan has such a power over me. I quickly wash myself and get out. Not even brushing my hair, I have the towel wrapped around me; and I lay down on my bed.

  I fall asleep again, being awakened to my phone going off. I get up quickly, reaching over to grab it. It’s Matt so I pick up.

  “Hello,” I say alertly.

  “Hey, we’re leaving in an hour. You ready?” Shit. I thought I would only take a nap, but I fell back asleep for four hours.

  “Yeah. Give me ten though.” With that, I hang up from him and go in search for my brush.

  After I’m all dressed and ready, I collect my things from the room and make my way downstairs. I’m wearing once again ripped blue jeans and a white tank top. From falling asleep on my wet hair, when I brushed it, it has more waves than usual. But I didn’t care. I put some more frizz serum in so, at least, it wouldn’t be frizzy; and I didn’t bother with makeup since we were going to be on a bus to Cleveland for tonight’s show.

  I’m holding my breath the entire time to the bus, hoping I wouldn’t run into Tristan. Thankfully I didn’t. I give one of the roadies my belongings and climb right in. Roger and Jared were already there.

  “Just waiting for fucking Cory to get back,” Roger says to me as he’s rolling a joint.

  “Where’s Cory?” I ask. Jared looks at me then back down to check out what Roger is doing.

  “We don’t know. Lux got a hold of him though. He said he’s on his way,” Jared says.

  “Fucking great.” I didn’t realize I said it out loud, but I know where Cory is. He’s out scoring more coke. I hate it! Matt climbs into the bus, putting his phone in his front pocket. His long dark bangs hang in his face. Normally, even in the morning, he has his hair styled to perfection.

  He looks around us and explains, “Cory’s here. We’re leaving in ten minutes. The other buses left half an hour ago.”

  He starts laughing a little and says, “Lux is pissed. Apparently, we all should have left over an hour ago. Less time to prepare for tonight so . . . I take it Cory will be chewed out.”

  “Good!”

  The word came out of my mouth before I could even stop it. All of the guys look up at me.

  “I— I . . . ”

  I start to make excuses for my remark when Roger lifts his hands up stopping me

  “Don’t. We’ve all been thinking it lately. Shit. We’re on the road for almost three weeks now, and that boy been doing this shit almost every time we leave.”

  Roger then reaches in his front pocket to grab a lighter and pulls it out to light the joint. After he exhales, he continues. “Cory needs a good ass chewing. Maybe he’ll get his shit together. Let Lux handle it.”

  I didn’t want to stand out there anymore, nor did I want to see Cory come into the bus either. So I make my way back into my own little room in the bus and close the door. I lay back down on the bed and put my headphones into my ears and press play on my iPod. SlipKnot’s “Before I Forget” came on, and I closed my eyes to forget all about the shit with Cory. And Tristan.

  Chapter Eighteen

  I wake up at around five o’clock in the afternoon. We’re in Cleveland now, and it’s time to get ready for tonight. Great. I pull myself out of the bed and bend over to grab my shoes. Just what I needed: To be around you-know-who just shortly after we had sex. Twice. And not the innocent kind either. Straight up fucking. Something which I’ve never done before. I was always in relationships, so that made it okay. We’re in the arena now, and the roadies are doing their thing. We’re doing ours. Thankfully, no one from Undead Society is around. Once my part is done, I leave to find my little private concrete room to hide in.

  Taking a seat in the room, I blow out another breath. What am I doing? Eventually, I will have to face him. How is it going to be? What will he do or say? Maybe he’ll be like me and pretend it never really happened. I hope so.

  Frankie comes in twenty minutes later with his things for tonight. Bringing the bag over to the vanity, he starts emptying the contents, humming softly as he does. I walk over to him to see what he has planned, and he looks up at me and smiles.

  “Hey, girl.”

  He acts like this morning never happened. Good.

  “Hey,” I reply.

  “I have this sexy dark plaid skirt with buckles on the side for tonight

  with this black silk top. I thought maybe we can undo some of the buttons to show off this fuchsia bra I picked up. What’s one without a hint of color, right?”

  I scan the outfit he has laid out for me. Normally, I wouldn’t mind. Shit. Normally, I would be wearing a corset and panties. But now I just feel too exposed from what happened last night.

  114 “Um . . . Isn’t this kind of like ‘Smells like teen spirit-ish?’” I ask him.

  Don’t get me wrong. That was a pretty sweet video. I just didn’t expect to be wearing something like it for my performance. Looking at Frankie’s face, I feel suddenly bad from what I just said. Frankie’s face drops a little.

  “What do you mean?” he asks.

  I quickly try to recover myself.

  “Nothing. It’s just that . . . A plaid skirt? Isn’t that like high school or something?”

  He shakes his head at me and says, “No. Well, I mean, yeah. I guess. But these are black and grays. Even your top is black. It’s very formfitting, so a couple of the buttons undone showing your bra is sexy. I have this knee-high dark socks with these ‘Phat shoes’ to bring edge. You said last night that you liked wearing the boots because you could move more freely around the stage.”

  I smile at him. Awe my, Frankie is trying to find more comfortable outfits for me to wear. And the outfit is cool. I realize that it’s just my sudden urge to try and cover myself up that is the cause for my judging the outfit. Besides, it’s my stage clothes—my other half—so I shouldn’t give a shit. I pull him into an embrace and hug him hard.

  “Yes, I did say that. Thank you.”

  He pulls me off of him a bit and studies my face.

  “It will look good, girl. I wouldn’t send you off on that stage looking not. Yes, it’s a little Britney Spears-ish. But a darker, sexier side.”

  He pulls out this all-black ball cap with the rim bent.

  “I was going to add this to it, too. Maybe off a little on top. Your hair wavy, but not thick. And the sleeves rolled up. Kind of badass, right?”

  I look at all the pieces together. They are nice so I nod to him in approval. He smiles at me and starts laying out his makeup.

  “Shit! I forgot my brushes!” he exclaims, “I’ll be right back.”

  With that, he walks out of the room. Standing there, I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is hanging loosely, falling off my shoulders and onto my back. My sapphire blue eyes pierce back at me through the reflection. I start adjusting my tank a little to cover more of the tops of my breast when I suddenly hear banging at the door. Did Frankie forget something?

  The banging continues, but I cannot move. It’s not Frankie. This has way more power to the knocking than F
rankie’s delicate one. I’m frozen where I stand. Not moving, I scan my eyes around the small room for a place to hide. I have a very good idea who it is; then, the door burst open. Tristan! He comes hauling into the room. Glaring me down, he reaches over to try to grab my arm; but I jump away running behind the table.

  “What the fuck are you doing!” I yell at him.

  He’s still glaring, jaw clenching, and his hands are now in fists. He grabs the table and pushes it out of his way. I scream a little at the action.

  “Why did you just walk out?” he asks me calmly. Almost chilling. What? I didn’t answer so he repeats himself. “Why did you just walk out? And why are you hiding? Fuck, Sophia!” he yells the last part and continues. I roll my eyes at him.

  “Tristan, why would I tell you I was leaving? And what the fuck is wrong with you?”

  He looks over to the busted door real quick to see what his massive body had just done to it. He looks back at me and replies, “I didn’t know if you made it back to your room okay. You don’t have security. I don’t give a shit about cuddling in the morning. But for fuck sakes, let me know you’re all right!”

  “And I’m not hiding either, so don’t flatter yourself.”

  Now it’s my turn to start glaring back at him.

  Tristan starts moving his way closer. His tight T-shirt looks like it’s about to rip right off of him with how hard he’s breathing. He grabs my arms at my side and holds me tightly. I try to squirm away, but his hold is too tight.

  “You could’ve texted that you were okay, bitch. Instead of having me worried about you and having to ask Lux if you made it on the bus.”

  What?

  “Why would you even do that?”

  I press my hands hard against his chest, trying to push him away. He steps back and combs his hands through his hair, looking aggravated. He glares back at me.

  “Maybe because we were in a fucking city. And you leaving my room dressed the way you were . . . I don’t know, Sophia. I thought something may have happened.” He grabs both my wrists and pulls them together in front of him. “Or maybe it could’ve been that I wasn’t done with you yet.” He leans in and starts assaulting my mouth with his. I pull away from him, and before even realizing it, I slap him hard across the face. Oh shit! The look in his eyes went from almost concern to anger again in an instant. Tristan has a low groan in the back of his throat before he jumps toward me. This time, I wasn’t quick to escape. He uses one of his hands to grab both my wrists again and lifts them above my head, and he uses his other hand to crush me into him.

  “You fucking hit me again, I will put those hands to good fucking use. Got it!” He bends over and starts kissing me again. His tongue starts licking my lips, and then, he pulls my bottom lip out with his and bites it. Hard. I moan into his mouth, and with that, he takes full advantage of making his way into my mouth with his tongue. Strong, fervent strokes start taking over. I can’t try to fight this anymore because, deep down, I want it too. I start kissing him back, using my tongue to massage his slowly. Now it’s his turn to moan. He spins us around, then letting go of our kiss, he reaches out behind him and grabs his shirt from the back and pulls it off. I see his muscles flexing in his arms and chest as he does this. And it’s making me wet. After he undoes his belt and the top button of his jeans, he leans against the vanity station, using his arms to hold him up. Wow! Does he ever look like some hot fucking model right now. Calvin Klein or something.

  Tristan licks his lips, and using his chin to point at me, he says, “I know you love being the little cock tease that you are. Well, Sophia, here’s your chance. Strip for me.”

  I have a feeling that he wasn’t asking when he said this to me. Why am I even considering this? I should just bolt out of the room right now, but I won’t. I’m panting from our kiss, and my core is on fire with just the sight of him.

  I look down at myself, rubbing the white hem of my tank top between my fingers. I can’t stare at him right now. The look he’s giving me will just make me break down, and I want this. Yes, I want this so fucking bad. Breathing out slowly and blowing a piece of my hair that’s fallen into my face, I grab my shirt and pull it over my head. I close my eyes when I do so I can’t see him. After I’m done with my shirt, my fingers trembling, I undo the top button of my jeans and slowly unzip them. I tug slowly as I’m working their way down my thighs, exposing just my white cotton panties. Hell, I didn’t know I would be doing this today, so my undergarments are modest.

  As I step out of my jeans, still looking down, Tristan says low, “Good girl. Now turn around and take the rest off. I want to see that tight ass of yours.”

  I jerk my head up real quick and glimpse at him, and he looks so dangerous right now. His eyes are even darker-looking than I have ever seen before, and his mouth set into a hard line.

  “Now, Sophia!” he barks at me, making me jump.

  Turning around for him, I couldn’t help myself. I say, “Calm the fuck down. I’m doing it, aren’t I?”

  Rolling my eyes, I’m facing the brick wall. I love this! Sick as it is. No man has ever taken control over me like the way Tristan’s doing right now. I reach behind me, unclasping my white bra and letting it fall to the floor. Turning over just a little so I’m peeking above my shoulder, I whisper, “Is this what you wanted?” With that, I face the wall again and grab the sides of my panties and bend completely over as I pull them down. Slowly.

  “Fuck,” Tristan says so low that I had a hard time making out what he just said. Good! I will shut that cocky son of bitch up.

  I carefully step out of my panties, breathing a little heavier now. Feeling the moisture between my legs, I just wait for his next command. But he doesn’t say anything. And I’m just left there standing, feeling the chill of the room on my hot body, making my nipples harden.

  “Come here, Sophia.” His voice is quiet and low as he tells me. I turn around, showing off my full body. With no alcohol in my system, I feel a little timid. But my arousal outweighs my embarrassment. My breasts are heavy, and my thighs are wet. I need him to touch me now. I walk over to him, checking out his torso as I step in closer. When I reach him, I stop in my tracks. Biting my lip, I look up at him. He reaches over to me and uses both hands to cup my face, his thumbs circling my cheekbones. Looking down at me, Tristan speaks softly.

  “You’re so fucking perfect.”

  He kisses me hard then. Like it’s the first and last kiss we’ll ever have. His tongue is invading my mouth once again. He pulls my tongue between his lips and gently sucks it. I rest my hands on his chest, feeling every firm inch of him. How his chest hair tickles my palms. Moving my hands down slowly, I use my fingertips on his lower abdomen, feeling the deep outline of his V. Tristan takes one of his hands and cups my ass firmly, making me crash hard into him. I suddenly feel his hard cock bulging through the rough fabric of his jeans on my stomach. I stop and use my hands to push him off and take a few steps back, trying to catch my breath.

  “What the fu—” Tristan tries to yell at me, but I point my finger at him.

  “Shut the fuck up, Tristan!” My voice is quiet but forceful as I continue. “You. I want you to undress now. And let me fucking enjoy it.”

  A closed half smile dances across his face, and his dark eyes crinkle again at the corners.

  “You got it.”

  Tristan unzips slowly right in front of me, never taking his eyes off mine. He’s so confident and it’s sexy as hell. With one easy motion, he pulls down his jeans. He’s just standing there in front of me with only his boxers on. Fuck! My eyes grow wider. His thighs are so muscular that they stretch the fabric of his shorts. And the way his cock is stretching through the thin layer of his boxers . . . Oh my! His deep, low laugh awakens me from my trance. He grabs the sides of his boxers and removes them now, too. Sweet fucking mother. That’s exactly why I’m still sore and very excited. His cock is like something I’ve never seen before. Well, besides in porn.

  I was drunk last nig
ht when I sucked him. I knew I had a hard time fitting it in my mouth. But seeing it here, now . . .

  I start smiling. “Good boy,” I say to him. Tristan checks me out slowly and makes his way closer again.

  “Lay on the table,” he commands.

  I look over at the table that on which Frankie has laid out my outfit. “Now!” Tristan says forcefully.

  I glare back at him and make my way over to the table. Climbing on to it, I carefully turn myself over to be sitting at the edge.

  Tristan stalks over to me and grabs my thighs and pulls them apart violently. “I’ve always wanted to eat that sweet pussy of yours. Last night just teased the fuck out me when I got a taste of you on my fingers.” Tristan kneels slowly between my parted legs and starts gently kissing my inner thigh, working slowly his way up. As he starts getting closer, he begins to trace his tongue over the areas he just kissed. I can’t watch this, so I lean back on my elbows getting comfortable. Tristan’s mouth is right at my entrance now, and he lays a soft kiss right on me. Taking one of his hands, using his fingers, he gently pulls my folds apart. He starts very softly sucking and licking my swollen clit. My eyes roll back and my head falls back. He begins to slowly start licking the length of me, beginning at my entrance and working his way up to my clit. Every time he’s there, he pulls it gently into his mouth and sucks before releasing it and continuing with his slow torture over me. Soft moans escape my throat. Hearing him moan on my pussy sends vibrations right up to my clit that makes me gasp. He slowly sticks his finger inside of me, stretching me as he begins to lick me up and down again.

  “You like this, baby?” Feeling his lips rub against me when he asked, makes me start quietly moaning even more. Reaching over, I grab a handful of his thick hair and press him to me, rubbing myself on his mouth. His cackle on me just sends even more vibrations on my swollen clit.

  “Fuck, Tristan!”

  “I know, baby. I know.”

  And he continues to lick the length of me and adds another finger inside me, preparing my pussy for his cock.