Pawn

by Carla Cassidy

  "You must be new to the neighborhood," the woman said, her thick Spanish accent evoking in Lynn a homesickness for the couple who had helped to raise her when she'd lived with Jonas.

  "I am," Lynn said. "It's my second time here."

  "I am Juan and this is my wife, Mary." The man gestured with a broad sweep of his hands. "If you don't see what you need, just ask."

  As Lynn filled her small basket and visited with the two, her homesickness for Jorge and Rita Batista intensified. The couple, refugees from Cuba, had worked for Jonas and had been as close to parents as Lynn had while growing up. Whenever Jonas traveled, which had been frequently, it had been the plump Rita who had tucked her into bed and sung her Cuban lullabies.

  It had been Jorge who had let her watch him clip roses and bushes and had talked to her about nature and birds and anything else she'd wanted to talk about.

  When Jonas had fled and his possessions had been seized, Rita and Jorge had been left jobless. It had taken Lynn a month after she'd moved to Phoenix to finally locate them in a small retirement community in Southern California. They had moved there to be close to one of their sons.

  She tried to talk to them by phone at least once a month. They never mentioned Jonas's name and neither did Lynn. They always seemed to be pleased when she called and she loved listening to them talk about their children and grandchildren and the fine life they had.

  It didn't take her long to gather up and pay for the items she needed. Then, armed with a plastic bag of her purchases, she left the store.

  The late-September sun was warm on her shoulders as she walked at a leisurely pace back to her apartment building.

  Her thoughts returned to Nick. If there was to be any hope for a future between them, changes would have to be made. There was no way they could make a long-distance relationship work. Been there, done that and it had failed miserably.

  People who loved each other weren't meant to live with hundreds or thousands of miles between them. Phone calls and e-mails couldn't fill the void of a lover's absence.

  Although she knew she was jumping too far ahead, she couldn't help but wonder what might happen if she and Nick continued their relationship.

  It made sense that she would move back to Miami. He'd always worked out of the Florida area and her work was mobile. As long as she had her laptop, she could build Web pages anywhere.

  Still, the thought of leaving Phoenix pained her. In the past year she hadn't just built a life there, she'd put down roots. She loved living close to Athena Academy, where the ghost of her mother seemed to linger and comfort her.

  It would be difficult to say goodbye to the friends she'd made there, to the community of women who had embraced and welcomed her into their midst. She'd had no close friends when she'd lived with her godfather, just casual college friends. Jonas had discouraged her from making strong bonds with anyone.

  She shifted her bag from one arm to the other and frowned as she thought about her friends and Athena Academy. What exactly did that cryptic e-mail mean? Lynn would do anything to protect her Athena friends from harm. But, how did you fight an enemy you didn't know? She hoped that, whoever Delphi was, she or he was on top of the e-mail and the nebulous threat.

  As her apartment building came into view, Lynn's heart leaped in pleasant surprise. Sitting on the steps with the sun shining in his dark hair was Nick.

  He didn't see her and she took a moment to drink in the sight of him. Even in worn jeans and a T-shirt, with his hair too long and whiskers shadowing his jaw, he was an intensely handsome man.

  Just looking at him swept a rush of lust through her and she wondered if it would always be that way. Would she always feel a thrill when she looked at him? Would he always make her heart beat just a little faster? Somehow she thought so.

  What was he doing here in the middle of the day? As he turned his head in her direction she waved and hurried toward him, unable to stop the rush of joy that suffused her. But, the joy was short-lived as she saw the grim expression on his face.

  Something had happened. Had he been pulled off her operation? Had he come to tell her another agent would be taking over?

  He stood as she approached. No smile curved his lips as he looked at her. "We need to talk."

  Whatever it was, it was bad. She knew how bad it was by how fast the muscle in his jaw ticked. She dropped her bag to the sidewalk and reached up to place a hand against that taut, muscled jaw. She couldn't help herself. She needed to touch him. "What's wrong, Nick?"

  He was silent for a long minute as he placed his hand over hers. His dark eyes radiated an emotion deeper than torment, an emotion that banked and dived into a chasm of anguish.

  "Nick, please talk to me. You're scaring me," she said softly.

  "Hey, Nicky." The deep voice came from a man coming across the street toward them. His blond hair glistened in the sun and his wide-open features wore a friendly smile.

  Nick dropped his hand from hers and she stepped back from him. If he'd radiated tension before, it was nothing compared to what she now felt pulsing from him. Who was this man who filled Nick with such stress?

  "Jimmy," Nick said in obvious surprise. "What are you doing here?"

  The man named Jimmy grinned, a sly grin as his gaze swept over her, then back to Nick. "I'd say the question isn't what I'm doing here, but rather does your wife know what you're doing here?"

  Lynn's heart seemed to stop beating as the world tilted on its axis. Wife? Nick was married? In a flash a million thoughts tumbled through her head. The secrets she'd sensed in him, the emotional distance that had existed between them. Was that why he only had three hours a night to spend with her?

  He was married.

  A roar filled her ears as she stared at him. She wanted him to deny it, but the truth was in his eyes. Unaware of her own intention, she slapped him. Hard. Hard enough that she felt the impact not only in her hand, but clear up into her shoulder.

  "Jesus," the man named Jimmy exclaimed.

  "Lynn." His voice was a groveling appeal. He reached out to her, but she stumbled backward, away from him. She needed to get away. She had to escape from him and his lies.

  A sob broke loose from someplace deep inside her and she turned and ran. She was vaguely aware of him calling her name once again and heard the sound of his footsteps as he started after her.

  He'd never catch her. She was faster than any man. She raised her head, breathed through her nose and ran as fast as she'd ever run in her life.

  But no matter how fast she ran she knew there was no way she could outrun the pain of his betrayal.

  NICK RAN A BLOCK before he realized he'd never be able to catch up with her. His cheek burned with pain, but it was nothing compared to the ache in his heart and the heaviness of fear that knotted his stomach.

  Jimmy. What in the hell was he doing here? As he turned around to go back to the apartment building he saw Jimmy standing on the sidewalk.

  He'd have to deal with Lynn later. Hopefully someway he'd figure out how to make this right. At the moment, he had to make sure that his cover was safe, that Jimmy's presence here wasn't the prelude to a bullet through his brain.

  As he approached, Jimmy held out his hands as if in supplication. "Jesus, man. I'm sorry. She didn't know you were married?"

  "I usually don't make a habit of telling my girlfriend that I have a wife. It's about as smart as telling your wife you have a mistress."

  Nick shoved his hands in his pockets and gave Jimmy a look of disgust. "Thanks a lot, man. You probably just screwed me up royally." His heart crashed against his ribs in a controlled panic. He still didn't know why Jimmy was here or what he might know.

  Jimmy shook his head and cast him a look of approval. "I got to hand it to you, Nicky. That was one hot-looking broad. You said her name was Lynn?"

  Nick nodded and his mind raced. "Lynn White. She's Jonas White's goddaughter. I met her when I was working for him and we've been kicking it ever since."

 
He decided to tell the truth about who she was, afraid to lie because he was unsure of what resources they might have to learn the truth.

  He looked at Jimmy with a sheepish grin. "You know I love your cousin and I'm totally committed to her and the marriage, but Colette's just not into sex much."

  "And why not have your cake and eat it, too," Jimmy said. "Hey man, I don't blame you. I always figured my cousin was more than a little bit of a prude."

  Nick forced a laugh. "You've got that right. She's a lights out, everything under the covers kind of a woman."

  Jimmy snickered. "I'll bet she thinks oral sex means sex with a piece of gum in your mouth."

  Nick laughed, although his gut remained twisted in a tight knot. "So, what are you doing here, Jimmy? Spying on me? Did Colette put you up to this?" He knew Colette would never be behind Jimmy's presence here.

  "Yeah, I'm spying on you, but not for Colette."

  Nick raised an eyebrow, surprised by Jimmy's answer, surprised that he'd admitted that he was spying. Once again his heartbeat raced with dread. "You want to tell me what's going on?"

  Jimmy shrugged. "I got a call yesterday morning from the man. He said it had come to his attention that you were making nightly runs to a destination unknown. He told me he wanted me to follow you and find out what was going on. I was just doing what I was told to do."

  Dammit. Nick's stomach muscles clenched even tighter. Who had seen him coming and going from his house in the middle of the night? Who had been watching him and why hadn't he noticed? Had he compromised the operation in Raymore by not being careful enough?

  "So, last night I followed you here and saw you go inside." Jimmy grinned slyly. "It must have been a good night. You were in there for quite a while."

  Nick returned the grin. "One of the best. She's always crazy during a storm. She was wild, hot as a pistol and ready to pop." He hated talking about Lynn in such derogatory terms, but he had no choice. Jimmy had to believe that Lynn was nothing more than a hot piece on the side that brought Nick out each night.

  "Anyway, when you left your place this morning, I followed you again and here we are. I think the man was worried that maybe you weren't as committed to our project as he thought you were."

  "Put me in tough with him, Jimmy. I'll talk to him. The only betrayal I got on my mind is a little marital infidelity. I don't want there to be any doubts about my commitment to what we're all doing."

  Jimmy kicked at a piece of trash on the sidewalk. "Wish I could accommodate you, but he calls me. I don't even know his name."

  "You've got to have some idea. Hell, you're the only one who talks to him." Nick's frustration threatened to unleash and he quickly tamped it down.

  Jimmy shook his head and gazed at Nick earnestly. "I swear I don't have a clue. When he calls me he uses one of those computer voice things. It makes him sound like a freakin' alien. I could be talking to my own mother and wouldn't recognize her voice. But, trust me, I'll pass on the information that we've got nothing to worry about. What you need to worry about is Colette finding out what you've been up to. She finds out she'll shave your balls and hang them out like walnuts on the nearest tree."

  "Then I guess my balls are in your court," Nick replied. He stared at Jimmy, trying to see if there was any hint of suspicion in his eyes, but Jimmy's gaze gave nothing away.

  "Ah, don't worry. I'm not about to tell Colette. Whatever happens in your marriage is none of my business." Jimmy clapped him on the back and grinned widely. "Your secret is safe with me. I just hope my big mouth didn't screw things up with you and your hot little honey."

  "I'll just have to do some fast-talking to make things right," Nick replied. "You know women. I'll buy her a little piece of jewelry and she'll come around."

  "I got to get back to Raymore and report in. I'll see you back there."

  Nick watched as Jimmy walked away. The knot in his stomach had eased somewhat. He thought Jimmy had bought his story and Nick's cover was safe.

  Where had Lynn gone? His chest ached as he thought of the look that had swept over her face when she'd learned he was married. He'd never forget that stark look of utter horror, the pale torment of one betrayed. For the second time.

  He needed to explain to her the circumstances of his marriage. He wanted her to understand that it had all been part of his undercover work. The woman he was married to knew where he went each night and all about his work with Lynn.

  Lowering himself to the stoop in front of her building, he rubbed his cheek, where the force of her slap still stung. He wondered how long it would be before she returned to the apartment. More important he wondered what he could possibly do to make this right.

  Chapter 12

  Lynn ran until she couldn't run any farther, half-blind with tears as she cursed Nick, then cursed herself. When her ribs ached and her chest burned, she finally collapsed on a bus stop bench.

  Married.

  He was married.

  The words echoed with horror through her brain. He had a wife. Lynn had been a cat burglar, she'd done some terrible things in her past because of her godfather's influence, but that didn't mean she didn't adhere to a strict moral code, a code that didn't make it okay to sleep with a married man.

  She would have never slept with him had she known. It was a major taboo as far as she was concerned. How could he have done this? He'd betrayed not only her, but another woman, as well. His wife.

  She squeezed her eyes closed against a new flood of tears. What had he been thinking? How had he been able to justify allowing them to make love?

  Now she certainly understood the emotional distance she'd felt from him, the secrets that had darkened his eyes. Men who screwed around on their wives kept secrets. Men who cheated on their wives were only available for their mistresses part of the time.

  A fool. She'd been such a stupid fool. Even though she thought she could have sex with him and not get emotionally involved, she'd been wrong.

  She'd been entertaining fantasies of marrying him, building a life with him and having his children. She'd dreamed of traditions and a normal life, and she'd wanted it all with him.

  "Stupid fool," she muttered as she watched a gull pick at a discarded sandwich wrapper nearby. She should have listened to her instincts, she should have recognized that something wasn't right. But, she'd been so bent on getting what she wanted, what she desired.

  Weil, she'd gotten it. She'd made love to him one last time and the cost of her pleasure was a broken heart, broken trust and broken dreams.

  Although the bench was hard against her butt and the sun grew uncomfortably warm, she remained sitting there throughout the afternoon.

  She was afraid to go back, afraid that he would be waiting for her and she didn't want to look at him, didn't want to talk to him right now. He'd come back to the apartment tonight because he was assigned to do so. She'd face him then.

  His betrayal of her hurt, but the pain was particularly intense because he was the one man in her life she'd trusted. She'd trusted him to be straight with her, to never lie to her again. Dammit, he'd known what Jonas's lies had done to her.

  Throughout the afternoon people came and went, getting on and off the buses that stopped occasionally at the corner. She sat, her anger, her pain slowly transforming to numbness.

  She listened to the women who passed by talk about what they were fixing for dinner and how their children were doing in school. Men talked of the upcoming Miami Dolphin football game and household chores. She envied all of them for their normal lives.

  It was just after dusk when she finally roused herself from the bench and started the long walk back to her apartment building.

  She'd run a long way from her apartment and it took her several moments to get her bearings to know which direction to walk home.

  As she started walking she realized that in those hours of sitting on that bench, she'd found her strength once again. She didn't need him in her life. She was fine alone.

  There w
ould be no more tears for Nick Barnes. No man would ever make her cry again. When this assignment was all over she'd go back to her life in Phoenix, maybe get drunk and stupid and go to bed with Leo.

  And tonight when Nick showed up at the apartment, they would be nothing more than two people working for the government for the common good. She didn't want to hear explanations or excuses from him. Nothing could explain or excuse the fact that he was married and had slept with her anyway.

  She was about sixteen blocks from the apartment building when a familiar dark-colored big Buick pulled to the curb and honked. She saw Tiny at the wheel and Stella in the passenger seat.

  Stella rolled down her window. "Hey, girl. Do you need a ride?"

  Lynn contemplated the offer as a sudden wave of sheer exhaustion swept over her. The emotional burden of the day weighed heavily on her, making her legs feel like lead. "Are you going to give me any shit?" she asked the hooker.

  Stella grinned and the gesture made her irregular features almost pretty. "Nan, I'm not in the mood to get my ass whipped again. Besides, I got my conscience with me." She stuck her thumb out to indicate Tiny.

  Lynn considered for just a minute, then stepped off the sidewalk, opened the back door and slid into the cavernous interior of the old car. It smelled like stale fast food and some sort of pine air freshener, but the car was spotlessly clean. "Thanks," she said.

  "No problem," Tiny replied. "We were just on our way back from visiting a mutual friend."

  "An old boyfriend of mine who's in county lockup," Stella said. She turned around in the seat and looked at Lynn. "You got a boyfriend?"

  Lynn's initial impulse was to shout a resounding no, but she didn't know what Tiny and Stella might know. Had they seen Nick coming and going from her apartment in the middle of the night? "Yeah, I've got a boyfriend," she replied. "But, he works weird hours so we don't see much of each other."