Another Angel of Love

by Henry K. Ripplinger

  Jenny didn’t like being the focus of all that attention but James seemed to get a kick out of it. He was the envy of every guy there and he knew it.

  When Henry and Travis returned with the drinks, a couple of guys had swarmed Lorraine.

  “All right, you yokels—scram,” Travis said, only half joking, as he and Henry set the drinks down on the table in front of the girls.

  “Just checking out the scene, Travis,” one of them said.

  “Well, check it out in the boiler room from now on.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” the other guy said as they walked away.

  At the first few notes of “Put Your Head On My Shoulder,” Travis spoke up, “Wanna switch partners for this one, Hank?”

  “Sure,” Henry replied, “that is, if that’s okay with you, Lorraine?” But Travis already had her hand and was leading her towards the dance floor.

  As Lorraine moved into Travis’ arms, Henry couldn’t help but notice Eddy Zeigler and his well-endowed girlfriend. His head was buried in her bosom, and Henry imagined he was at that moment probably thanking God for his lack of height. Eddy opened dreamy eyes for a moment and caught Henry looking at him. He winked, then his eyes drifted shut once more. About halfway through the song, Henry gathered his nerve and asked Julean to dance.

  Something about her touch, her hand in his, sent a slight tingle through him. Julean’s hand was warm, soft and smooth. His hand locked easily into hers, and he pressed her a bit closer as they waltzed. He wanted to look at her, but every time their eyes met, each glanced the other way.

  “It’s a nice band,” Julean said finally.

  “Yeah, they are. We were lucky to get them. Lots of schools are having a dance tonight too, and they’re a pretty popular group. One of the band members has a girlfriend who goes to our school, though, and she convinced them to play here.”

  As they talked, Henry studied Julean’s eyes. Their dark depths held a sparkle he found intriguing. Her delicate nose, lush eyelashes and heart-shaped mouth Henry thought very attractive too. Personality-wise, she wasn’t nearly as flamboyant as Lorraine, but Henry liked her gentle manner and sincerity. She wasn’t drop-dead gorgeous like Lorraine, either, but he thought she was very pretty. Hers was a quiet beauty and Henry was disappointed when the music stopped. He wanted to keep holding her. They held hands as they walked back to the table. Neither of them made any move to do otherwise.

  For a moment Henry forgot all about Jenny.

  Just before they made it to their table, Eddy bumped him from behind. “Cute babe, Hank.”

  “Thanks, Eddy.” Henry felt the heat of embarrassment on his cheeks and hoped Eddy would take the hint. Thankfully, he seemed to and went off in pursuit of his well-stacked girlfriend.

  Henry escorted Julean to her chair and claimed the one beside her. “Thanks for the dance,” he said. “I really enjoyed that.” Inwardly, he cringed.

  Eddy would’ve come up with something cool.

  But Julean smiled at him. “So did I.”

  Several guys asked Jenny to dance, but each time she politely refused. Not only would James have been upset if she did, but she didn’t think it was right for her to dance with anyone else.

  “Some of these costumes are pretty hip,” she said to him now. “Look at Mary Jo, she looks just like Little Red Riding Hood, with Jeff in that wolf mask. I wonder if he’ll eat her up before the night is through?” she looked up at James through her lashes, flirting just a little. “And I can’t believe our student council president dressed like Doris Day. What a scream.”

  “Looks like a fruitcake to me,” sneered James.

  “Oh, it’s Halloween, James. It’s all in fun.”

  “Maybe so, but you wouldn’t catch me dead in women’s clothes.”

  “I have to say, James,” she said, laying a hand against his chest, “that you are certainly the most charming of all.”

  That was exactly what he wanted to hear. James’ eyes brightened and his grip around her tightened.

  Julean and Henry were still on the floor when the band broke into “One, two, three o’clock four o’clock, rock. Five, six, seven o’clock…” and within seconds there was hardly room to move.

  As they twisted and turned to the music, he couldn’t believe how easily he and Julean moved together. It was like they were made for each other.

  “Wow!” he said when the song finished. “I sure hope they do that one again.”

  “So do I,” said Julean, “that was fun.”

  Later in the evening the band announced a dance in which couples were to exchange partners every time the band leader called out “bingo!” James was reluctant to let Jenny dance with someone else the first couple of times “bingo” was called, but soon several suitors were waiting in line to dance with her. As soon as James let her go, Jenny was whisked away into the crowded gym, and after it was over, it took another two dances for Jenny and James to finally reunite. James’ body quivered with suppressed rage as he held Jenny to him. He didn’t need to be so possessive and she tried to tell him so—she really wasn’t interested in anyone but him—but though his jealousy unnerved her, she had to admit she kind of liked that he felt so strongly about her.

  The hands of the clock said eleven-thirty as they finished the last slow, romantic waltz. “I guess we’d better go before the spell is broken and my Prince Charming sees nothing but a girl in rags,” Jenny joked.

  James grinned, glad to have an excuse to be alone with her for a bit. But as he escorted her back to his “pumpkin,” she couldn’t help but wish it was Henry who would come for her so they could live happily ever after.

  Julean and Henry danced together for the rest of the evening, as did Travis and Lorraine. When it came time to go home, Julean didn’t know if she should sit in the back with Henry or in the front with Travis. She caught Lorraine’s eye; she had the same dilemma. In the end, they sat the way they had come. An uncomfortable silence fell over the car as they drove home.

  After dropping off the girls, Travis steered the Fairlane towards Henry’s place. “Oh, man, Hank—I’m sorry. I dunno what happened tonight. I didn’t mean to dance with your girl so much. It just sort of happened.”

  “It’s okay, Travis. Honestly, I didn’t mind at all. I really enjoyed being with Julean.”

  “D’you mean that?”

  “Sure. I really like her.”

  “That’s great, Hank. Then…you won’t mind if I ask Lorraine out next Saturday?”

  “Not at all.” Henry silently thanked his buddy for solving that problem. As Travis pulled up in front of Henry’s house, Henry said, offhand, “I guess since you’re gonna take Lorraine out, I’ll ask Julean.”

  Travis looked up sharply. “Yeah, sure. That’s okay.”

  “Could you give me her phone number?”

  “You bet, Hank. I’ll phone you with it tomorrow.”

  As Travis peeled away from the curb, Henry stared after him. He wasn’t sure what Travis was mad about. Surely he didn’t think he could have both girls, did he?

  James parked down the lane just past the Sarsky home. A chill ran down Jenny’s spine as he turned off the ignition, wrapped his arm around her and tugged her close. She’d known he’d try again, though she’d spent the last month or more telling him she just wasn’t ready to make love and wouldn’t be until she was married.

  “Come on, Jenny. What’s the difference? We’re going to get married in a year or two anyway, so—”

  “I just can’t, James…” Jenny had tried many times to gather the courage to tell him about Camilla and her fear of bringing another child into the world without the security of a marriage and home. Having to give away another child would be more than she could bear. But she’d never been able to bring herself to tell him, worried he’d think so much less of her.

  And something always told her to keep it a secret.


  “What’s wrong, Jenny? You’re somewhere else again. And tell me, what’s wrong with doing it? I love you and you love me, don’t you?

  “Yes, I do, James, but I just don’t want to right now.”

  She slid out from under James’ arm and glanced out her window. He no longer seemed like Prince Charming and she sure wasn’t Cinderella. She so wanted to tell him about the rape, the adoption, tell him everything so he’d understand—and yet she couldn’t. What if he doesn’t understand? If they really loved each other she shouldn’t be afraid to share these intimate thoughts and feelings, but something inside her told her that James would never accept it. She’d lose him. And she didn’t think she could lose someone else she loved.

  James tried to pull her across the seat to him again. “Come on, Jen, I love you and I want you so—”

  “No!”

  Jenny threw his arm off her, jumped out of the car and ran towards the house. She tripped on the paving stone driveway and wrenched one of her silver slippers off her foot, but kept on, walking now and limping a bit.

  James started the car and caught up to her, rolling the window down. “Jenny! Aw, I’m sorry, Jen. Please get back in.”

  Jenny stopped walking and hung her head.

  James parked, hopped out of the car and came over to her. “I really am sorry, Jenny.”

  She turned to him and fell into his arms. “Oh, James! I’m sorry, too. I’m just not ready to have sex. Can’t you understand? I’m afraid…. Please be considerate of my feelings.”

  “Shhh, it’s okay, Jenny,” he said, rubbing her back and trying to make light of it. “Look at me.” He tilted Jenny’s chin so her eyes met his, tears tumbling down her cheeks. “I’ll try my best not to let this happen until you tell me it’s okay. It’s just that you’re so beautiful tonight, Jenny, and I want you so much.”

  Jenny was quiet, thinking of everything he didn’t know. Everything she should be able to tell him. Yet she didn’t.

  “It’s okay, James,” she said instead.

  She bent down and took off her other slipper then put her arm around his waist as they made their way to the front door. Frustration, hurt and confusion lingered in his eyes. Still, he put his lips to Jenny’s and kissed her lightly on the mouth.

  “Good night, Jenny. You know I love you very much.”

  “I love you, too, James.” Jenny forced a smile, dashed a tear from her cheek and went inside. Before she closed the door, she peeked out once and threw James a kiss with a whispered, “G’night.”

  James stood on the steps for a long time after the door had closed, trying to understand. He didn’t think this had anything to do with that Pederson guy. It seemed like maybe there was something else she was keeping from him, and though he didn’t have a clue as to what it might be, he knew he didn’t like it.

  When Henry arrived home, his mother was reading a magazine in the living room. But Henry knew the magazine was just for show, a cover for her real intentions—to quiz him about how the evening had gone.

  “Did you have a nice time?”

  “Yeah, I did, actually. “It was fun. I’m glad I went.”

  “Good!” Before he could say good night, she added, “And how was your blind date?”

  “She was a real doll, Mom, very attractive.”

  “So, you had a good time with her?”

  “Well, sort of.” Henry knew the moment the words were out that his mom would pounce on them.

  “What do you mean, ‘sort of’?”

  No way was he getting out of this now. He resigned himself with good grace, took a seat on the chair beside her and told her the whole story.

  “So, you and Travis aren’t upset with each other for taking each other’s date?”

  “No, Mom—it’s just one of these things that happens. It’s funny how things turn out sometimes, isn’t it? I mean, just when you think one thing about a situation, something happens that’s completely different than what you expected.”

  “Are you going to see this Julean again?”

  “Yeah, I think I am. In fact, I asked Travis for her phone number when he dropped me off.”

  “Well, I think that’s great. It will be nice for you to have a girlfriend.”

  She glanced down at her magazine. After a long moment, she looked up, again, and studied him. “Do…do you still miss Jenny?”

  Henry was surprised to feel relief that she’d spoken Jenny’s name and was glad she’d asked; Jenny had been on his mind the whole night.

  “Yeah, Mom,” he said with a little sigh, “I still miss Jenny. I miss her a lot. I wonder all the time what happened to her and why she never sent even a single letter.”

  Mary’s eyes reflected the disappointment and sorrow her son felt so deeply. She nodded, saying as clearly as if she had spoken that she understood.

  Henry thought again how like his mom was to Mr. Engelmann in that regard. Her empathy brought unwanted tears to his eyes. Henry looked down at the floor, hoping she wouldn’t see them.

  “Life is hard to understand at times,” she said now. “I know how deeply you felt about Jenny, and still do. You might even feel that way for the rest of your life, and that’s okay. But we must move on and not get stuck. I remember my cousin Drew. A year after he married Jeannie she was killed in that horrible car accident. Drew was devastated. But he found someone else, perhaps not the same, but his heart is now filled with Alice and their two wonderful children. Life does go on.”

  “Yeah, but at least Drew knew what happened to his wife. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever know what happened to Jenny.”

  “Yes, not knowing is very difficult to accept.”

  “Yeah, that’s what bothers me so much.”

  His mom nodded again. “It just might be something you have to learn to accept and live with, Henry.”

  Henry let his head fall, and a tear fell onto his pantleg. He rubbed away at it for the longest time as he reflected on his mother’s words.

  “Yeah, I guess so,” he finally whispered.

  Silence fell over them then, the mood in the room much different than when he’d first sat down, and yet it was healing somehow. The quiet between them carried understanding, caring—and love. He wasn’t alone in his heartbreak. Someone else was helping him carry the load.

  And so they sat for several minutes, not saying anything. Then Henry stood. “Think I’ll head off to bed. Thanks for waiting up for me.”

  His mother looked at him and smiled.

  He went over to her and kissed her cheek.

  As he left the living room, Mary rose from her chair and followed. Henry turned to see her there, her arms open.

  “Good night, son. I’m so glad you had a nice time.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” Henry said softly as he stepped into her arms. Her hug carried with it the assurance that these difficulties would be made easier, that they too would pass.

  “I’m so glad you like this Julean. She might just be the one who sweeps you off your feet again.”

  “Yeah, she just might be.”

  Edith was still up when Jenny came in.

  “You’re home early,” Edith called from the living room. “Come in and chat awhile.”

  Jenny blew her nose and dabbed her eyes with a tissue, then examined herself in the floor-length mirror in the foyer as the grandfather clock chimed twelve. Even though she still looked like a princess, she no longer felt like one. The magic was gone.

  “Hi, Mom,” she said as she came in and plopped herself on the sofa beside the dying fire.

  Her mother set down the book she was reading and closed the cover. “Did you and James have a good time at the—have you been crying?”

  Unbidden tears came quickly into Jenny’s eyes once again.

  Her mother moved beside her and took hold of her hands. “What’s wrong, Jenny?”


  “James and I are getting a little too close. I want to tell him about Camilla but I’m afraid to. I just don’t know what he would think if I told him everything. You know, the rape and all….”

  “I see. Jenny, you know why it has been a well-guarded family secret these past two years and why the only outsiders to know about it are the doctors and other professional care workers who were sworn to confidentiality. I know you shared it with Tammy and her parents, but that was because of the circumstances. Jenny, if you told James, he might not be able to handle it and he could tell others and it could affect your reputation at school.

  “Perhaps, Jenny, it’s best to keep it from James for now until you’re married so you know he’s committed to you. We all have skeletons in our closets that at times are best kept under lock and key.”

  “But didn’t you tell Dad everything about yourself before you got married?”

  “Well…yes,” At her mother’s hesitation, Jenny’s head snapped up. “There are some things I kept from your dad—like some of the boys I went out with. There was no need to make him jealous and I’m sure he went out with other girls before we tied the knot.”

  “But this is different. I gave birth to a baby girl and she’s part of my life even if she’s adopted and I need to share that with the person I marry. James needs to know that and perhaps it would help him understand why I don’t want to—” Jenny looked at her mom as her face flushed. She didn’t want her mom to know every intimate detail.

  “I understand, Jenny. Your father and I have tried to instill in you that sexual relations should wait until marriage. Perhaps that is what you are feeling, as well as your need to share with James what happened to you. Your instincts are telling you to hold off for now and maybe that’s for the best. You’re just starting twelfth grade and a lot can happen between now and the time you’re ready for marriage. Until there’s some serious commitment perhaps it’s best to keep this between ourselves.”

  Her mother patted her hand then got up to stoke the struggling fire.

  “Listen. Why don’t you play hooky from school on Monday and you and I will take the train into the city and do some shopping? We could meet your father at the office later and then go out for dinner and maybe a movie. What do you say? A night out on the town would do us all some good,” she added with a wink and a smile.