Another Angel of Love

by Henry K. Ripplinger

  Jenny returned her mom’s smile. “Yes, I’d like to do that, Mom. Dad looks so tired and overworked lately. Sometimes I wish he hadn’t taken on that job as president and we had stayed in—”

  Her mother shot her a sharp look.

  “Oh, he’ll have everything working fine in no time, Jenny. Being the president carries a lot of responsibility; it’s such an important position. It takes time and hard work, but it will all be worth it in the end. Trust me, Jenny.”

  “Yes, I suppose so…it just seems like we were all happier before we came here.”

  “Now, Jenny, you’re just saying that because you’re upset. A good rest and a nice dinner at a fine café and a stop at the theatre after will fix everything up.”

  Jenny stood and kissed her mom’s cheek. “I’m sure you’re right, Mom.”

  Henry lay on his bed in the darkness, unable to sleep. He watched the moon climb from branch to branch up the barren tree through his bedroom window as he relived the evening. He could feel the touch of Julean’s hand as he remembered their first dance. The fact that he was attracted to her surprised him. She was the polar opposite of Jenny.

  Jenny had blond hair; Julean’s was a brunette. Jenny’s eyes were blue; Julean’s were brown. Both girls’ eyes sparkled when they spoke, but Jenny definitely was more outgoing and expressive. Yet he had appreciated Julean’s quiet manner and gentle genuineness. Henry wondered how he would feel the next time they went out, then wondered if she’d even want to go out with him.

  Julean and Jenny swapped places in his mind for the longest time. Back and forth he went, and he began to dream. He was back on the farm riding a horse with two heads, one at the front and the other at the back. He tried to make it go, but it just stood there, unable to move either forward or backward. When he got off, he wasn’t sure which head to pat. The more he looked at the horse, the more frustrated and torn he became. He was confused, not knowing which way to turn or go. He walked away and went into the dark barn, feeling his way into the pitch black and turning into a stall. He felt the hay beneath his feet and lay down on top of it. Instantly he fell into a very deep sleep.

  Jenny turned on the light then flicked it off again and walked over to the window. The moon was full, flooding the grounds with its bright light. Nature continued to be healing for her and yet as she gazed into the heavens melancholy washed over her.

  She missed her baby. And more so than ever, she missed Henry. James was like him in so many ways. But if she were dating Henry, she would never have hesitated to tell him about her child and the circumstances surrounding Camilla’s birth. She felt safe with Henry. She trusted and loved him. She felt that all so deeply now.

  Oh, guardian angel, can you ever bring us back together again? Can we ever recapture what once was? Tears glistened like crystal beads as they caught the moonlight on Jenny’s cheeks. Henry was just a memory. A memory that no longer had any life.

  Julean tossed and turned in her bed, knowing sleep would not come easily. Thoughts of her new friend would probably keep her awake for a long time. What a wonderful evening, she thought. It was funny how it turned out, how we sort of switched partners. But I loved it. I secretly hoped it would happen as soon as I saw him in the car. Julean smiled as she relived the feel of his hand in hers and how they had seemed to fit as they danced together and their attraction for each other.

  Henry reminded her of her Uncle Emmanuel. Handsome and strong with character to match. Henry has such a good reputation too. His thick, dark brown hair and eyebrows framed his face. He was very good-looking.

  Julean thought his eyes were green, but it had been too hard to tell in the dim light of the gym. She could tell from them though that he was sincere, trustworthy and dependable, and that’s so much more important than any colour. So different from Travis, whose eyes roamed like a searchlight, always looking for greener pastures. She never knew where she was at with Travis. She could see right off how Lorraine drew his attention away from her.

  Henry was more stable, secure, steady. She smiled again, parting her lips slightly. The dim light in the room caught her bright white teeth. She liked his shyness, his awkwardness, like he had not gone out with many girls. Then she remembered that Lorraine and some other girls told her that he never went out much.

  She wondered if he’d had another girlfriend. There were moments when his mind seemed to be somewhere else, but then again if he did, he wouldn’t have gone out with Lorraine and…he did seem to be enjoying himself with me. Julean felt hopeful. On the colony that wouldn’t be a concern, the men can choose several girls, several wives. Yet that’s what drove her parents away. Mom would never accept Dad sharing his love with another. But maybe I could—if the man were right.

  I wonder what Henry believes and what he thinks about Mormons? Will I see him again? Oh, I hope I do…I think he likes me. I like him—a lot.

  Julean tossed and turned again. Sleep was still a far way off. She replayed the same thoughts over again. This time she ended by whispering in the dark, “I hope and pray that he phones me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  A solemn procession of twelve board members passed through the reception area towards the elevator. Elaine counted them as they filed past her desk. Not one, not even Mr. Peakan, looked at or greeted her. Their collective demeanour was as though someone were gravely ill and on the verge of death. And perhaps that was the best way to describe the fortunes of the corporation. Elaine knew for some time the health of the company had been failing; the quarterly board meeting must not have been pleasant for Mackurcher’s president either.

  Ted Sarsky was the heart of the corporation and its beat under his leadership showed serious signs of a major attack. Like a foreboding ecg reading, the charts and graphs analyzing the pulse of the company indicated an alarming malady, a forecast of impending doom. The graph line, which for years had shown a steady increase in net profits with only minor bumps along the road, now showed decline even greater than when Ted had first taken over, the most serious of the company’s history. The company was faltering, losing its competitive edge, and the warning bell was tolling.

  Ted appeared at the boardroom’s door at last, eyes downcast. He didn’t look up as he passed her and entered his office, closing the door behind him. Elaine had no doubts as to what he’d do next. She could imagine the splash of whiskey hitting the glass even now.

  Well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t been warned. First Mr. Peakan and then several other board members had called at the end of each of the past few months, inquiring about sales and staff morale, and wanting to know what new incentives the president was implementing to improve the bottom line.

  She knew that they had hurled those questions at him in person in the meeting they’d just come out of, and also knew from preparing the documentation that Ted couldn’t provide any satisfactory justification for the serious loss of sales. He simply wasn’t doing his job. He wasn’t on top of things the way he should’ve been and Elaine knew that the board had delivered an ultimatum: restore their market share within the next six months or his resignation would be called for.

  Six months. His entire life and career had just been narrowed down to six months. If he didn’t do something drastic he’d be out of a job. How had such a promising and fruitful career come to such a pitiful end?

  In the beginning, Ted knew he’d done an excellent job. Profits had grown within a few short weeks of his becoming president. That is, until his personal life had insidiously crept into his corporate life and begun to erode the model image that had landed him the position in the first place.

  Ted could no longer even begin to think of what he and Edith had done to their daughter. The lies, the deceit, the destruction of the letters between her and Henry; just the thought sent a flood of guilt, regret and remorse throughout his entire being.

  Even time had failed to heal their daughter’s broken heart. Jenny had long ago s
topped asking if Henry had written a letter, but the evidence that she was still far from over the boy was there every time Ted gazed into his daughter’s eyes. He’d seen it clearly just the other night when that Elvis fellow was singing “True Love,” and it brought tears to Jenny’s eyes. It was their favourite song, hers and Henry’s. Ted recalled when Jenny had told him that, oh, ages ago, back when they still lived in Regina.

  The song tugged at his heart as well, especially the part that hinted that angels had nothing to do but sit around heaven all day. Well, now those angels had gotten out of his safe and were flitting around on painted clouds and flying around his office all day!

  At one time, he’d have had the fortitude to tackle and conquer these circumstances. To acknowledge the things he had done and resolve them. But not now.

  And there was no one to turn to.

  He couldn’t go to his wife; Edith was adamant about staying the course and he no longer wished to suffer the ensuing arguments. He knew both the psychologist and family therapist in the personnel office and had confidence in them, but he’d never subject his personal problems to their scrutiny.

  Not only was he too proud to ask for help, Ted felt he had to exude an image of perfection and strength. Solid as a rock, with no cracks or fissures. Being a president of a large corporation was like being a mountain climber. Each step had to be taken with caution, calculated and well-thought out. Especially when you’re at the top, one false move, one wrong decision, one sign of weakness and down you go. There was always someone else waiting in the wings, ready to assume control.

  Unfortunately, Ted hadn’t yet realized how close he was to the edge of the cliff. Unless he got help soon and halted the company’s downward spiral, he’d be thrust into the depths with a mighty and unforgiving crash.

  Perhaps the one person he could go to was his secretary, Elaine. Ted knew how loyal she was and even suspected she knew of his excessive drinking. She was too professional to interfere, yet she was capable of running the company much better than him, especially now. He knew she’d gladly help but he could never allow himself to seek the help of a subordinate, not when he was the president of the whole company.

  But help is what he needed. He needed a safe environment, someone he could trust. An atmosphere in which he was free, to let down all his defenses. A loving friend, a counsellor, a priest—anyone who would accept him in an atmosphere of unconditional love. He needed a Mr. Engelmann in his life. Someone who would take him as he was with no strings attached. A safe atmosphere where he could unload, be totally himself without fear so as to allow him to step back and see the error of his ways. Only in this way, receiving love and acceptance despite his shortcomings, could he begin to accept himself and begin to heal and correct the self-defeating thoughts and behaviour he was presently engaging in.

  Unfortunately, Ted was so confined within himself he couldn’t see the forest for the trees. He had shut himself into a protective prison and let no one into his inner world except his friend, booze. This illusory friend in whom he placed all his trust was now, however, beginning to betray him too. He needed more and more alcohol to suppress his ever-increasing guilt and shame and all the pressures surrounding him.

  It was in those silent, alcohol-induced moments Ted saw the pewter angels float through the heavy steel door of his safe, though he knew, he knew, they were still sealed in the envelopes Henry and Jenny had sent to each other. They were out now all the time, flying across the sun-filled sky and perching on one of the clouds in the painting that concealed the safe.

  Most of the time now he kept the painting covered up with the towel. It was the only way he could cope. He’d once looked forward to retreating to his office to escape Edith’s manipulations at home, but the office had ceased to be a safe haven long ago, leaving him with nowhere else to go.

  If only he’d put his family first. Sure, his work was important, but he should never have allowed it to take precedence over his wife and daughter. Family is much more important. And at the end of the day, if your home wasn’t secure, if the heart from which you emerged every day to enter the work world wasn’t intact, it immediately affected your abilities everywhere else.

  Ted saw it clearly in the lives of his staff; how when there was a problem, it affected their work. He was in the same boat, only his was rapidly sinking. The heart within his home needed healing, needed attention, needed his love—and he needed his family’s.

  It was in rare moments like this that the obvious truth of what he should do stared him in the face. Yes, he finally had it together, he would drink to his insights. He got up and headed for the liquor cabinet again. He’d drink a toast to his determination to straighten everything out.

  He poured himself a drink and then another. Yes, he’d overrule Edith’s views and methods. After all, he was the father and surely he had some say in his daughter’s upbringing and happiness. Father knew best, didn’t he?

  Ted took another drink to strengthen his resolve. Yes, he could disagree with Edith. He could exert his leadership of the family…

  Soon, he forgot what he was drinking to. Was it destiny? Fate? Yes, it was fate. Yes, he was in fate’s mercy; it would bring whatever it would bring.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  With the Halloween dance over and no future events planned, Henry could finally spend some time at the store. Since Christmas was just around the corner, there were lights and the Santa display to put up and, since it was the final year the store would be open, Henry wanted to do something special.

  But Henry couldn’t get Julean off his mind. He never would’ve thought that he’d enjoy being with any girl other than Jenny. He’d almost called Julean on Tuesday but was too nervous. He put it off on Wednesday and now Thursday was almost over. If he didn’t do it soon, she might think he didn’t like her or want to see her again. He couldn’t wait any longer but still couldn’t bring himself to pick up the phone.

  After he’d glanced at the phone behind the counter for the umpteenth time, Mr. Engelmann commented, “You don’t seem to be yourself today, Henry.”

  “I’m fine, just a little tired.”

  “Now, Henry. You know I know you better than that. You’re not ‘just a little tired.’ I’ve always said you wear your heart on your sleeve, Henry.”

  Henry couldn’t help but grin.

  “So how was the Halloween dance?”

  “It was fine.”

  “And the blind date?”

  “That was fine too, but I ended up going with my friend’s date instead.”

  “My goodness, how you young people can change things. You go with one girl and come home with another.”

  “Not exactly, Mr. Engelmann. It was just that by the end of the dance, the girl I was with seemed to like my buddy, and the girl he was with seemed to like me. Oh, I’m getting confused. Anyway, I really like this other girl and want to take her out.”

  “Well, have you asked her, Henry?”

  “Not yet. That’s what’s been bothering me.”

  “Ah,” said Mr. Engelmann, and smiled. “Are you worried that she might not want to go out with you or are you worried about what to say?”

  “I think both.”

  “Well, worrying over how someone is going to react is more painful than if you saw their real reaction. Do you understand?”

  Henry thought a minute. “Yeah, I think so. Being nervous and worried about something I really can’t control or don’t have the answer to is kind of crazy. It’s better to just do it and then I’ll know.”

  “There is one other thing,” Mr. Engelmann said.

  “And what’s that?”

  “Procrastination.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “How long have you put off calling her because of your fear of how she will react?”

  “Uh, five days now.”

  “Ah! And look
how much you have suffered as a result,” Mr. Engelmann nodded wisely.

  “Yeah, I haven’t been able to concentrate on a thing.”

  “See how it is affecting how you live in the present? It is important that you realize what you are doing so that you can correct it and do something about it. And I know I don’t have to tell you what you should do.”

  “Yeah, phone her. Right away.”

  “Yes, yes, but I am also going to give you a little motivation.”

  “Motivation? What do you mean?”

  “When I first met my Anna, I also wanted to take her out on a date. What I didn’t know was that another man also liked her and had asked her before I did. Anna told the other man she would give him the answer in the morning because she was hoping I would talk with her before then. I called her that evening and asked her. After we were married, Anna told me that if I hadn’t called on her that evening, she would have accepted the other suitor because she would have assumed I was not interested. So the moral of this story, Henry, is—”

  “Yeah, I know, ‘don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today’ or else you could be very sorry.”

  Mr. Engelmann beamed. “Precisely! Do you have this girl’s phone number?”

  “Yes.”

  “And still you have not called her? My, my. Listen. I will go back into the storage room. I have much work to do, and if you wish, you can use the store phone. You have an important call to make, so it’s all right. I will even keep you on the payroll during this time.” Mr. Engelmann winked and disappeared into the back.

  Henry reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He sorted through several bits of paper, wondering why he’d kept half of them, before he found it. He really didn’t need the piece of paper. He’d memorized the number not long after Travis had given it to him and knew it frontward and backward.