“Typical,” muttered Drimblerod.
The entire group had begun to walk as the trio had been talking. “Hey, we’re getting left behind!” Exclaimed Grimbledung. “Let’s get back to the front so we can hear what’s happening.”
Drimblerod shook his head. “No, this is perfect; from the back we can slip away unnoticed easier. So it’s the next mine then Rat?”
Rat nodded. “Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Grimbledung; I am sure. Of everyone in this little fellowship we have, I believe I am the most reliable when it comes to hearsay.”
“Where am I?” Asked Drimblerod.
“Tied for the lead,” said Rat.
“Ohh! That means I’m second!” Grimbledung blinked. “Wait, that’s not good.”
“Keep quiet.” Rat held his claw to his lips. “We need to slip away unnoticed.” He pointed ahead. “Let’s get back with the group but not completely back with the group.”
“How do we do that?”
Rat shrugged at Drimblerod. “I don’t know; walk casual.” He tugged on Grimbledung’s ear. “Let’s go.”
As the trio caught back up with the end of the group, they heard her say: “This is the original section of the Lost Picman’s Mine. This is where the original story of unfathomable treasures began.” She paused for dramatic effect. “And continues to this very day.”
“Alright; we’re there.” Hissed Rat.
“Where? Here? I know that.” Grimbledung waggled his ears.
“We’re there?” Drimblerod asked, suddenly becoming serious.
“Here?” Grimbledung pointed at the mine floor.
Rat glanced around then pointed over the edge of the ledge they had been walking along side of. “Yeah, this is it.”
“You sure?”
Rat nodded at Drimblerod. “Heard a Gremlin complain to another about the jump during shift change.”
The tourists filed out of the room as the trio remained behind. The tour guide’s voice got softer and softer as she continued her spiel.
Drimblerod shuddered as he looked over the edge into the darkness. “But if that Gremlin knew you were listening in, that’s exactly the kind of trick they would pull.” He leaned farther over the railing. There was no way to tell if there was another path ten feet below, or jagged rocks a hundred feet below. “Oh, Rat.”
“They didn’t see me,” Rat said. “Besides, why would they ever think that some grey rat was anything special and they should try and trick it into anything?” Rat shook his head. “No, my information is good. Have I ever steered you wrong?”
“There was that time you told me I could fit a whole pumpkin in my mouth.”
Rat turned to Grimbledung. “And could you?”
“Well, sure. But it took three days to get it out. I couldn’t say a thing the entire time.”
“Sorry for doubting you, Rat,” Drimblerod said. He looked toward the last tourists. “They’re far enough gone we should make our move.” He put his hands on the railing. Then looked into the darkness again. “And you’re sure those Gremlins didn’t see you?”
“Rock solid sure.” Rat leapt from Grimbledung’s shoulder onto the thick wood railing. “This sure.” He jumped into the darkness.
“Rat!” Grimbledung went to the edge and looked down. “I can’t see him.”
The two were quiet for a long moment.
“Would you two get down here already? Someone’s liable to see you loitering up there.” There was a pause then: “Oh, and jump straight down and not out like I did or you might miss this ledge completely.”
“Poor Rat’s ghost is warning us of what he did wrong.” Grimbledung tugged his ears. “Poor Rat. I always liked that rodent. Really I did.”
Drimblerod climbed to the other side of the railing, standing on the narrow edge. “How far down, Rat?”
“All the way, Drim. Poor Rat fell all the way down!” Wailed Grimbledung.
“Probably eight to ten feet. Like from the top of the stairs to the bottom at the shop.”
Drimblerod stepped off the edge. He flexed his knees and almost immediately hit solid ground. His legs buckled under him and he fell back hard on his butt. When he put his hands out to stand, they met open air. “Gads, this is a narrow ledge.” He rolled to his knees and stood. “Keep right near the edge, Grim!” He called up. Drimblerod took two steps to the side to make room for his partner. “You can do it.”
“Now my partner is dead too! Both missed the ledge entirely!” Grimbledung sobbed.
“Get down here!”
“What if you’re a ghost now and you’re trying to lure me to my death?” Grimbledung answered.
“If you don’t get down here, Drimblerod and I will keep all the treasure to ourselves!”
Grimbledung looked left and right. The darkness suddenly seemed to overwhelm him. He took a step in the direction of the tour. “They’re just around the corner. I could catch them easily.” He took another step.
“Get down here!”
This time it was Drimblerod.
“What if you’re a ghost too?”
“I solemnly swear that I am not a ghost and neither is Rat.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m going to make you a ghost if you don’t get down here!”
Grimbledung swung his legs over the railing. With a final look left and right, he pinched his nose and stepped into the darkness.
He landed on top of Drimblerod. The pair fell to the ground, rolling opposite directions. “You oaf! Why did you move to the side!” Drimblerod rubbed his shoulder where Grimbledung had landed. “You could have killed me.”
Grimbledung got to his feet. “Well, I strongly suspected you two were ghosts, so I was thinking of just rejoining the tour. Besides, it was really getting interesting.”
Drimblerod shook his head. “You’re killing me, Grim. Killing me.”
Rat hopped back onto Grimbledung’s shoulder. “Alright, now that we’re all down here, stay close to the wall because there are no railing here. Give us some light, Grimbledung.”
Grimbledung drew his wand and held it aloft.
“A really small light,” said Drimblerod. “So we don’t get spotted.”
Grimbledung obliged with a small blue light at the end of his wand.
“That’s not enough to see anything.” Said Rat.
“Give it a minute.”
The trio stood in the darkness as their eyes grew accustomed to it. Finally, they were able to make out the edges of the ledge and even some features on the wall face.
“Nice, Grim. Real nice. Which way now, Rat?”
Rat looked ahead and behind them. “I am not sure. I didn’t hear that part of the conversation. Want me to run ahead and see what’s there?”
“If it’s Gremlins, you really need me along,” said Drimblerod.
“Fine then. Lead the way with the light, Grimbledung.” Rat pointed ahead. “Let’s try that way first.”
“Why that way?”
“We’re going to check both ways, Grimbledung. We’re just checking that way first.”
With a nod, Grimbledung held his wand ahead and began to walk cautiously. “If there were going to be bats in this cave that swarmed around folk, this would be the ideal place for it.”
“I swear…” Began Rat. “If any bats show up, I’m going to pitch you off this ledge myself.”
“And I’ll help,” added Drimblerod.
No bats appeared.
A large door did, though.
“Ahh, easy entrance to the Lost Picman’s treasure!” Exclaimed Grimbledung. “Nice.”
Chapter 42
An Easy Entrance to the Lost Picman’s Treasure!
“It’s locked,” said Drimblerod.
Chapter 43
An Easy A Locked Entrance to the
Lost Picman’s Treasure
“Well, maybe not so easy,” corrected Grimbledung. “But at least we found it.” He beamed. “Told you it existed.�
��
“All we found was a door on a ledge, Grim. There might just be a Gremlin breakroom behind it.” Drimblerod tried the catch again. It still didn’t open.
Grimbledung knocked on the door. Loudly.
“What are you doing?” Rat exclaimed.
“Well, if it is a Gremlin break room, they’ll let us in,” explained Grimbledung. “But if it’s the loot room of a certain Mister Picman, then no one will answer.” He put his ear to the door. “I don’t hear anyone coming.”
“You sure?”
Grimbledung nodded. “I hear some clattering maybe. Like there’s some wood wind chimes in there, but that’s it.”
“I don’t think there’d be a wind chime in the treasure room. Much less a breeze to make it clatter around.”
“Well that’s what it sounds like, Drim. Don’t know what else to tell you.”
Drimblerod put his ear to the door as well. “I don’t hear anything.”
“Well it’s stopped now, of course.”
“Of course,” Rat said. “So how do we get in?”
“You want me to open it?”
“Sure, Grim. But do it quietly.”
“You should move to Drimblerod, Rat.”
“Do it quietly, Grimbledung.” Rat hopped to the other Gnome. “Please.” He added even though he knew it wouldn’t make any difference one way or another.
Grimbledung grinned wide. “Nice and stealthy; just you wait and see.” He held his wand up to his nose.
Flaring boogers
He intoned.
A blue ball of light appeared on the end of this wand. Grimbledung inhaled quickly and the blue ball disappeared into his nose. He snorted deeply. Then cleared his throat.
“Gross.”
Grimbledung waggled his ears at his partner. He snorted and cleared his throat again. Then smacked his lips.
“Whatever you’re going to do, do it soon; my stomach can’t take more of this.
Grimbledung snorted again then spit over the edge. A blue globule flew out and fell from sight. Grimbledung moved to the edge to watch it fall.
Drimblerod did as well.
They watched for almost a minute as the globule fell. Finally, when it was almost out of sight, it spattered.
“That there is a long way down,” said Rat.
“Perfect,” said Grimbledung.
“Perfect?”
Grimbledung turned to the door and raised his wand as if he were going to conduct an orchestra.
Bits of Sedimentary, Metamorphic and Igneous too.
Combine them together into red-hot lava?
Sure! But have it come out like goo!
He intoned.
“No not that one!” Rat said.
A stream of lava bathed the area in bright orange light as it spurted from his wand.
“That’s too bright!” Exclaimed Drimblerod.
Grimbledung aimed the stream at the top hinge. It melted off almost immediately. He continued downward, cutting the middle and bottom hinge. Without stopping he tracked across the door to the latch and cut it as well. As the door started to fall toward them, he cut off the lava stream and the area was dark again. It had taken less than five seconds for the entire cutting. Grimbledung put his shoulder against the falling door and shoved it toward the edge of the ledge.
Almost silently, the door skidded to the side and fell into the darkness.
After almost a minute, there was a very faint thud as the door hit the rocks below.
Grimbledung waggled his ears. “How was that?”
“Perfect, Grim. Just perfect! Now get that little blue light back and we’ll get in there.”
Rat nodded at Drimblerod. “Once our eyes adjust again. All I see is orange streaks.”
Grimbledung obliged with a flick of his wand. The trio once again stood still until their eyes readjusted to the dark.
When they finally did, they looked into the now-open entranceway.
There were five skeletons patiently waiting inside. Each held a gleaming saber and a small, round wood shield.
“Rolton Chips,” said Grimbledung. “Another correction awaits.”
Chapter 44
An Easy A Locked The Guarded Entrance
to the Lost Picman’s Treasure
“Think we can just talk this over?” Drimblerod gave a friendly smile.
“If we did,” said the lead Skeleton, “you’d just be delaying your death.” He slashed his sabre at Drimblerod. “Every enemy we have faced, we have annihilated!” They all took a step forward, onto the narrow ledge. Sabers at the ready.
“With your breath, I’m sure they all suffocated,” retorted Grimbledung. He drew his dirk.
The skeletons all took a step back.
“I will stain my jimping with your blood!” Grimbledung slashed his dirk back and forth.
“You’ll be the one doing the staining,” said the Skeleton, “and in your pants to add to the crud!” The skeletons all took a step forward again.
Drimblerod drew his short sword. “That will be the day!”
“For your insolence, with your lives will you pay!” The skeletons all took another step forward.
“Drim! Let me handle this!” Grimbledung exclaimed.
“We’ll take them together, Grim.” Drimblerod slashed at the air. “We’ll cut them apart!”
“Well, I guess we know with whom we’ll start,” said the Skeleton on the far left. He lunged at Drimblerod, delivering a fierce overhead swing.
Drimblerod staggered back from the blow. “How are they so strong without any muscles? They’re just dried bones!”
“Quiet, Drim!”
“They’ll put those words on your tombstone!” The Skeleton slashed at Drimblerod.
Drimblerod stumbled back as the tip of the sword ripped his tunic and left a line of blood across his chest where it cut him. He stumbled and fell on his butt.
Emboldened, the other skeletons advanced on Grimbledung, crowding him. As they did, Rat scurried around them and into the dark vault.
“Now we have you, you stinking shorter!” The lead Skeleton thrust his saber at Grimbledung’s heart.
“That insult only works from Halflings, you smelly athletic supporter!” Grimbledung parried and swung at the lead Skeleton as it staggered back.
Drimblerod did a double take at his partner. He looked back just as the skeleton brought the blade down with two hands right at his head. “I’ll split you in two!”
“I think I’ll stay in one piece… thank you.” Drimblerod said as he scooted back. If the skeleton’s sword had not hesitated, it would have hit him square on the head. As it was, it hit the ground between his legs. Safely out of reach, Drimblerod rolled to his feet. “Come at me then!” He waggled his sword at the skeleton. “You mismatched collection of bones!”
“Where the door went, Drim!” Grimbledung said as he pivoted to put the wall to his back. “The door!”
The four skeletons spread out in front of Grimbledung. The far right one feigned an attack while the one on the left slashed at the Gnome’s arm. The blade hit the dirk right at the hilt, knocking it to the ground. “We have you now, you stinking treasure stealer!” The two middle Skeletons moved their swords to their shield hands then grabbed for Grimbledung as he pressed against the wall.
Grimbledung swatted at their hands. “The door, Drim!”
The left one sheathed his sword. “Pitch him over the side, Hausen! Give him a hand, Lynd!”
Grimbledung drew his wand. “Have I ever told you my favoritest thing; passing wind!” He slashed his wand at the four Skeletons.
Not a maelstrom by any means
Nor a gentle breeze.
Something in between.
Beaufort Thirty Three, if you please!
He intoned.
The skeletons were picked up by the blast of wind[28] and hurled over the edge.
“Hey!” The Skeleton in front of Drimblerod exclaimed. “Those were pals of mine!”
Drimblerod
dropped flat to the ground, spread-eagle. “Get him, Grimbledung!”
Grimbledung panned his wand across and hit the remaining Skeleton with the blast of air as it dissipated.
The Skeleton teetered at the edge, arms rotating forwards as it tried to regain its balance. “Hah, you needed a little more wind to get me over the edge, it seems!”
“Hah!” Exclaimed Rat as he came out of the vault. He was holding a very large diamond. He threw it at the careening Skeleton, hitting him square in the chest. “In your dreams.”
The Skeleton tipped back and fell. “Wilhelm!” He shrieked as he fell from sight.
“Rat! Where’ve you been?” Drimblerod got to his feet.
“Keeping out of danger and scouting about.”
“Rat! I can’t believe you threw a diamond of that size at that skeleton!”
“Well, there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for that,” said Rat.
“What’s that?” Grimbledung moved to the edge and looked into the darkness.
“It was the smallest one I could find.”
Grimbledung teetered at the edge. “Wha-what?”
Drimblerod grabbed his partner by the collar and pulled him back. “Easy there, Grim.” He moved to the edge as well and looked down. “They are not going to be pleased when they hit the bottom.”
“Not in the least.” Grimbledung shrugged. “Hopefully it takes them a long time to get out of there once they pull themselves together.”
“Hopefully.” Drimblerod turned toward Rat. “Wait. Did you say that was the smallest diamond you could find?”
Rat nodded. “There were smaller rubies, but the diamond was easier to hold with that point on the end.”
“Diamonds? Rubies? Told you there was treasure-by the score!!” Grimbledung dashed into the vault.
“There’ll be no living with him from now on.”
Rat nodded. “Well, to be fair, there was barely living with him up until this point. At least now that he’s rich, we can call him eccentric instead of insane.”
A shriek from Grimbledung emanated from the vault. It was followed by “No, no, no!”
Grimbledung and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Mine (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 5) Page 23