Grimbledung and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Mine (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 5)

Home > Other > Grimbledung and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Mine (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 5) > Page 29
Grimbledung and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Mine (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 5) Page 29

by Robert P. Wills


  “Akita?” Sage said. “Akita? Akita Finnish?”

  “Well, at least these two beat the Elves here. Saves me a free meal,” said Nulu.

  “Grrr!” said Grimbledung as he hopped to his feet. He let his arms hang down. “Grrr-rle?” He looked at Sage and sniffed the air.

  Akita sniffed the air as well. He looked at Sage.

  Sage took a step toward Akita.

  “So, now that the authorities are here, I’m gonna leave.” Pozzuoli said.

  “Hey, we’re getting together for a meal at the Duck Inn tonight around eight. If you could make it, that would be great,” said Drimblerod. He smiled. “Bring Mamma Pozzuoli as well.”

  “I will-a do that,” said Pozzuoli. He gave a wave and left the area, very relieved. To be leaving the area.

  “Well, we need to see about getting the shop set up before those Elves get here,” said Nulu.

  “Which Elves?”

  Nulu turned to Drimblerod. “Some Foreboding Forest Elves. Seems your partner stole some royal spices.”

  “Grrr?” Grimbledung said. He moved to Sage and sniffed. Her butt.

  Sage slapped Grimbledung’s nose. “Stop that.”

  “Yeah, stop smelling my girl,” said Liverioso. He moved beside her. “You unstable Gnome.”

  “So you want me to put the shop back?” Semfeld asked. He put the backpack down and began to undo the buckles.

  “That would be great, thanks Semfeld.” Nulu said.

  Grimbledung panting slowed. As it did, the hairs on his ears retracted to normal Gnome ear-hair length. Which meant there were still several very long hairs mixed in with the shorter ones. “Elves want what?”

  “Our Royal Spices!” Declared Keebler as he strode purposefully around the corner. “I’ll have them back, now.”

  Leaves and Weed ambled behind him.

  “There’s no way you heard us talking,” said Liverioso.

  “With those ears? I imagine he did,” said Semfeld. He looked at Nulu. “What spices?”

  “The Royal Spices of the Foreboding Forest Elves,” said Nulu. “They want their stuff back and its somewhere in the shop.”

  “Ohhh… those spices,” Grimbledung waggled his ears. “Tasty stuff.” He smacked his lips.

  “I hope for the sake of the town you didn’t eat all of them.” Keebler crowded Grimbledung.

  “Everyone just calm down,” Akita said. He glanced at Sage. Something seemed familiar about her but he couldn’t place exactly what. He turned his attention to the crisis at hand. “Let’s get the shop set up so these Elves can be on their way.”

  “Can we stay for dinner?” Leaves asked. “Getting late and dinner’s an important meal.”

  Grimbledung nodded. “Besides breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, supper, and late-night snack, it sure is.”

  “No!” Nulu said almost too quickly. “I mean…I am sure these three will want to finish their expedition and get back to their forest.”

  Teeth stuck out his lower lip. “Starving on this trip is more like it.” He grasped his belly. “I haven’t had anything substantial to eat since lunch.”

  “That was just a couple of hours ago,” said Keebler. “So keep quiet or you’ll be on the menu!”

  “You know the best part of Elves?” Grimbledung asked. “The knuckles.” He waggled his ears.

  Semfeld took the miniature shop from the backpack. “Where do you want it?”

  “Same place it was before would be nice,” said Drimblerod. “Put the door over on that side.” He pointed at the main street.

  Semfeld carefully placed the shop down. “Need to pull up the sign,” he said. “So it doesn’t get in the way.”

  Akita pulled the sign from the ground. “Let her rip, Semfeld.” He put the sign over his shoulder.

  Semfeld drew his wand. “Everyone stand back.” He took a short bow. “Ladies and gentlemen prepare to be amazed by the ever-popular, always-amazing Contra-Minisculate trick.”

  Grimbledung clapped.

  Semfeld took a quick bow, pushed up his sleeves, then waved his wand at the tiny shop

  ContraMinisculate ’emmmm

  He intoned.

  The shop began to grow in size as silver light bathed it.

  The group shielded their eyes from the bright light. When it finally faded, they all looked.

  “Is that it?” Sage asked.

  “No of course, that’s not it,” said Semfeld. He took a bow. “Tada!”

  Grimbledung clapped.

  “Now the trick is done,” said Liverioso.

  “I want our spices.” Said Keebler.

  “I agree,” said Nulu, “where are the spices, Grimbledung?”

  Grimbledung looked at the shop. “Let’s see. Where did I put those things?” He tapped his finger on his chin. “Oh! They are hung on my headboard for safekeeping.”

  “Why would you hang spices on the headboard and not put them in your kitchen?”

  “Did you look for the spices?” Grimbledung tapped his finger on his chin again.

  “Well, sure but we never found them.” Semfeld admitted.

  “Did you check the bedroom?” Grimbledung waggled his ears.

  Semfeld frowned at the annoying Gnome, and the thought of the treasure the Dwarf had said they would pay.

  “Let’s get those spices,” Akita suggested. He gestured at the shop. “After you all.” As the group moved into the shop, he moved behind Sage and surreptitiously smelled her. There was a familiar smell but he could not place it. “We know each other?” He whispered into her ear as they walked. Since she seemed to be with Liverioso, he did not want any sort of friction if this was a woman from his past that he did not remember. “Or something?”

  Sage turned to look over her shoulder as she walked into the shop. Her eyes flashed red. “Or something.”

  Akita stopped in his tracks. An image from his childhood popped into his head. “Sage?”

  She gave a smile and turned back around. “Nice to see you again as well, Kita-Kita.”

  “I’ll go grab them,” said Grimbledung. He moved to the stairs quickly. When he started to climb them, he tripped and fell on his face.

  “Smooth.” Said Nulu. “Good thing no one was watching.”

  “What the?” Grimbledung stood up. He carefully moved up a step. “This place is too big!” He turned to face Semfeld. “You made it too big! What a crummy thing to do.”

  “Oh, I wonder if the beds are more comfortable now,” said Liverioso.

  “They were comfortable before!” Grimbledung backed up one more step, using the railing for support. “This is annoying.”

  Semfeld shrugged. “Look at it this way; you now have more storage.”

  “I suppose that is true,” said Drimblerod.

  “I think it’s grand that your shop is now bigger,” said Keebler, “but I would really like to be someplace else in the very near future.” He gestured at the stairs. “If you would get those spices.”

  “Right?” Leaves said. “Then in the very near future we can get something to eat!”

  “For the first time in months even,” added Teeth.

  Keebler rubbed his eyes. “Please, please get the spices.”

  Grimbledung turned and walked up the stairs, being more careful this time.

  Liverioso saw Akita staring at Sage so he moved to the Constable. “Sorry I didn’t introduce you two.”

  “Well, there were other things going on.”

  Liverioso beamed and moved to Sage. “She’s my long lost love!” He put his arm around her. “Sage, this is Akita Finnish, the town constable. Akita, this is Sage Sagacious. Shes...”

  “Your lost love. I heard.” Akita stifled a smile. “It’s nice to see you again, Aunty Sage.”

  “Aunt?” Nulu did a double-take. “Your… aunt?”

  Akita nodded. “I barely remember her…you. You used to watch me while I was very young, right?”

  Sage smiled. “I did. For a time. Then…” Her hand reflexively we
nt to her scar.

  Liverioso looked at the scar. Realization hit him. “Did you?” He looked at Akita. “Did you bite her?”

  Akita looked at the scar. “I don’t remember. I was young then. Was I even…”

  “Two. You were two.”

  “You bit her?” Liverioso said again, angrily this time.

  “I was two, Liverioso and not in control of my actions by any means. I don’t even remember the incident.” Akita reached for Sage’s scarred arm. “I am sorry, Sage; I had no idea. You were like a wisp of a memory.”

  “Well, this really calls for celebration then!” Nulu exclaimed. “We will celebrate the return of the Gnomes and a family reu…” Nulu’s face paled. Or at least as much as a Trolless’ face could pale. “Uh oh.”

  Everyone else turned to look where Nulu was looking- the door.

  Flora was standing there.

  With her hands behind her back.

  Not looking happy.

  Flora closed the door behind her then worked the lock. “Where is he?”

  Chapter 55

  Making Amends

  “Grimbledung’s not here, Flora,” Drimblerod said loudly. Very loudly. “But we can bring him by the tavern if you would like. The nice, public tavern.”

  A crash upstairs made Flora look at the stairs.

  “Now Flora,” started Akita. “We’re celebratin’ right now. Long lost family, reunited friends. Why don’t we just all go to Nulu’s and celebrate together?”

  “Oh, we’ll celebrate alright. I’ve got some special cele….”

  Grimbledung tumbled down the stairs, landing upside down against the counter. “Those stairs are just absurd. We need to paint them yellow or something.”

  “Grim,” said Drimblerod. “I… didn’t know you were here.”

  Flora squinted at Drimblerod.

  Drimblerod moved behind Akita.

  “Flora O. Willowfeet! You were going to be first on my list of people to see!” Grimbledung hopped to his feet.

  “And yet I am last.” She took a step forward. “Every single person is here but me.” She looked at Saga and the Elves. “Even strangers are here but not me.”

  Grimbledung cleared this throat. “Well, there’s a good enough explanation for that.”

  “Right,” interrupted Akita. “You see, we waylaid them as soon as they came in, Drimblerod and Grimbledung.” He moved to Grimbledung and snatched the small leather pouch from his hands. “You see, these Elves…” He strode to Keebler. “Insisted on getting this pouch from Grimbledung as soon as he arrived so we made sure that happened.” He put his arm around the Elf’s shoulder. “So thanks for coming, hope to see you soon.” He steered Keebler to the door, pushing Flora out of the way. “And come back sometime much later or not at all really,” he reached for the door latch. It was locked. “Flora?”

  Flora took the key from her pocket and unlocked the door. She snatched it open. “Get out.”

  “What about eating?” Weed complained. “This doesn’t solve that all important problem.”

  “We’ll eat on the way.”

  “Something already prepared,” said Akita.

  Keebler nodded to Akita. “Something already prepared and then we’ll be on our way.”

  “Sounds great.” Akita gestured outside. “Well then.”

  “Well then.” Repeated Keebler. “Let’s go you two. I want to get home.”

  As soon as they were gone, Akita shut the door. He was sorry he did- the only escape route for Grimbledung was now up the apparently treacherous stairs.

  “Now, Flora, why don’t we all go get a meal together with enjoyable company?”

  “Sounds great!” Grimbledung rubbed his belly. “I’m ready for a meal that I didn’t prepare myself.”

  “Grimbledung Sixtoes,” said Flora. She took a step forward and brought her hand up. It was holding a miniature crossbow. The silver bolt in it was sharpened to a point. “Esquire even.”

  “Hey, that’s me!” Grimbledung waggled his ears. “Flora, I’ve missed you.”

  “I’m not sure if this is a good idea,” said Drimblerod.

  Grimbledung raised a hand to quiet his partner then pushed him out of the way. He stepped in front of the crossbow. He looked at Flora and cleared his throat again.

  Flora aimed the crossbow at Grimbledung’s heart. “You contemptible pig.” The crossbow shook with her fury.

  “Grim?” Drimblerod took a step away from his partner- to the side so he was completely out of the line of fire.

  Grimbledung waved his hand again at his partner then pointed at the Gnomess. “Flora O. Willowfeet, listen...”

  “I remained celibate for you.” She closed one eye and sighted down the crossbow at Grimbledung. “Celibate.”

  “I have something to tell you.”

  “Mmm hmm.” She thumbed the safety off.

  “It wasn’t my fault!”

  Flora sighted down it. She panned up and down Grimbledung, finally settling on the middle of his head as a target. She closed one eye to make sure she didn’t miss.

  “Just listen!”

  “I’m listening.”

  Grimbledung put both hands over his heart.

  Roses have lost their scent.

  And lilacs too.

  Flora opened her eye.

  I yearn for a sweet fragrant kiss from you.

  With each breath, I recall your delicate perfume.

  My eyes keep watering in deepest gloom.

  Flora took her finger off the trigger.

  For too long I have been away.

  It is with you that I now want to stay.

  So say you will, my little shot of ale

  Don’t let my affection grow stale.

  Grimbledung finished the poem on one knee.

  No one moved for a long moment.

  The crossbow clattered to the ground. “Oh, Grimbledung.” The crossbow went off, sending the thin bolt into the side of the counter. The wood sizzled where the poison touched it.

  Grimbledung hopped to his feet and closed the distance between him and Flora. He grabbed her in his arms and kissed her.

  “Well that’s absurd.” Drimblerod said.

  Akita punched Drimblerod’s shoulder and wiped away a tear with the other hand.

  Drimblerod raised an eyebrow at the Werewolf.

  “A gnat flew in there,” growled Akita. “A gnat.” He shuffled his feet. “Say, Grimbledung, you mind if I use that poem on Maca?”

  Grimbledung pulled his face away from Flora. “Not at all. Back in South Jute, I myself found it on a bathroom wall. I had the attendant read it to me.”

  Sage shook her head. “And there goes all that romance just laid down.”

  “Oh, Grimbledung!” Flora exclaimed, “And you remembered it all this time for me?”

  “You know it!” Grimbledung kissed her again.

  “Well, I am surprised to say that this whole scene hasn’t destroyed my appetite.” Akita opened the door. “How about we move this party to where there are drinks and food?”

  “Sounds great, Constable,” said Drimblerod. He looked down at his clothes. “How about we meet you there? We’re kind of dusty from the day’s travel. And I’d like to put on some fresh clothes.”

  “That sounds good to us,” said Nulu. She pointed at finger at him. “You have thirty minutes to get there. A whole half an hour to be washed and walk five minutes to the Duck Inn and Dine in thirty minutes which is half an hour so that you are not late..”

  “So do we have thirty to get ready and five to walk there, or is it all combined?” Grimbledung asked.

  “Thirty total minutes. An entire half an hour.” Nulu said. “To be seated in the Duck Inn and Dine within thirty minutes is your goal.”

  “Well, if you can’t give us a hard and fast time, we’ll do the best we can.” Grimbledung let go of Flora. “I shall see you there then.” He gave her nose a peck.

  “The time starts now you two.” Akita said. He stepped out. “
Come on everyone, the countdown has started.”

  The Magicians and Sage followed Akita out. “I’m getting hungry as well,” said Liverioso.

  Flora pointed a finger at Grimbledung. He crossed his eyes to focus on it. “The next place you will be when you leave this shop of yours will be the Duck Inn and Dine. Nothing else will cause you to detour.” She bent over and picked up her crossbow. “Nothing.”

  “Absolutely.” Grimbledung nodded furiously. “Why I may even be early.”

  “Well, let’s not get absurd.” Said Nulu. “Showing up on time in thirty minutes from now will be good enough for me.” She left the shop. “Come on Flora. We’ll make sure the kitchen puts on some ribs for us all.”

  Rat held up a claw. “How about someone give me a lift so that I am actually on time?”

  Akita smiled. “Hop aboard, Rat.” He leaned down next to the counter so Rat could jump to his shoulder.

  “Thanks; I miss half the fun because of these two.”

  “We’ll be on time, just you wait and see!” Grimbledung declared.

  With unbelieving headshakes, everyone left.

  Grimbledung closed the door and spun around. “Well, well, WELL. We are home, my friend. Home from a most successful trip even. He drew his wand. “Only one thing left to do.

  “Get washed up, changed, and get to the Duck Inn and Dine in thirty minutes.”

  “What? No!” Grimbledung waggled his ears. “We can do that any time.”

  “We need to be there in thirty minutes, Grim. Everyone’s waiting on us.”

  Grimbledung moved to the counter. “Well then we need to get going!”

  “Going where?”

  “To grab more treasure of course, before those dragons get it all.” Grimbledung pulled the curtain back.

  “We can do that tomorrow.”

  Grimbledung let the curtain fall. “Oh, tomorrow. Fine, fine.” He crossed his arms. “So what your plan involves,” he said, “if I am hearing it correctly, is waiting until tomorrow so that you get to deal with two dragons that are probably not going to be pleased to see you in their newly made lair. That tomorrow?”

  Drimblerod considered that. “Well, I suppose not. But we have half an hour.”

 

‹ Prev