Finding My Mate

by Rylee Winters

  My sharp, jerking nod was all the answer Derek needed, and I backed against his hips on shaking legs to brace myself against the back of the sofa.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Derek

  “I would like for you to shift so I can see your beast.” Rasping and hoarse, Linne’s request only drew a groan from me, and I rolled onto my side to fling my arm across her ass. “Please.”

  Fuck. I couldn’t deny her anything at all right now, and I slowly pulled in my limbs to push myself onto my hands and knees. Forcing my eyelids apart, I shook my head wildly to get my thoughts to race faster than their current, pitiful crawl. The shift came on easily – so easily that I barely had to use my mind to go through the transformation.

  Collapsing onto my bed, I spread my legs out in front and behind me to groan lowly. Long, nimble fingers threaded through my mane, tracing the patches that had been ripped out in one of innumerable fights. For once – for the first time – I didn’t worry about what I would see when I looked over. I could feel Linne’s adoration for me seeping through my thick coat; I could sense the pride leaking from her pores that I was her mate despite my damned genetics.

  “So, so beautiful.” My ears twitched at the dangerous wobble in Linne’s voice, and I glanced over to find her eyes watery and nose red. Lifting my paw to tuck her under my shoulder, I grumbled softly in reassurance even as I struggled to understand.

  Linne was reduced to tears by my beast form – and they weren’t even regretful that she’d gotten a defective mate. The big, hot droplets were filled with gratefulness, acceptance, and joy. She was so happy about my inhuman form being genetically degenerative that she couldn’t even contain it.

  Licking her face as she sniffled roughly, I purred while my tail thumped in blissful content over the foot of the bed. Linne sucked in shaky breaths, her body moving fully underneath me, and she buried her face in my mane while her arms slithered around my neck. She tucked herself against my side, and her wings were the only part of her that was visible. Even then, they were only distinguished by their blue tint from my onyx fur, as they twitched and flexed outwards.

  “You smell so good…” The muffled declaration only brought on a sob, as if Linne couldn’t believe her luck. What she didn’t know – what she’d never fully understand – was that I was the lucky one. Even if a mate other than her had accepted me, it would never be this complete and all-encompassing. No female could get over my skin – my abnormality – but one that wasn’t from this realm.

  ‘She is very emotional.’ Pausing my incessant licking to lift my head, I narrowed my eyes on the shimmery, glittering bird that perched on top of my head board. ‘She does not know I am here, so we can talk male to male. It is good that she cannot have children, yes? I shy away from imagining how emotional she would be then.’

  ‘She can’t have children?’ For a moment, I thought I posed the question out loud, and I glanced down at Linne. She was still crying, with her blubbering lower lip – weaving her fingers through my fur – and I shuffled slightly before turning my gaze back to Muss. He bopped his head in an avian nod, ruffling his wings as his biggest, center eye trained itself on me.

  ‘Slaves are mutilated – did she not tell you? Slaves are slaves – they are not meant to produce more slaves or do anything that does not serve their master.’ Muss’ sharp beak parted only to snap shut, and he tossed his head as disgust radiated from his ethereal form. ‘It is so sad. She does not remember, nor was it painful. All she knows is that she is defective. How good for you then, Derek the Lion.’

  ‘Why hasn’t she mentioned it?’ Sourness coated my tongue at the fact that I was secretly talking to a fucking bird about my mate, who was right here in the same bed. Even so, I wanted an answer, and Muss was more than happy to oblige.

  ‘I believe she doesn’t think it matters. She is not from this realm, and it would be incredibly hard to bear children here with a human – or shifter. Even without her sterility, I am certain you will never bear cubs with her regardless.’

  Relief surged through me at that, and I hated myself for it. Turning my attention to Linne as she only hiccupped beyond her few small tears, I licked her cheek and nuzzled the rough spot gently.

  But Muss wasn’t done talking, and his irritating voice caught both my and Linne’s attention.

  ‘I have news from Kalsni. My punishment has been lifted prematurely. Bareiijnr has discovered evidence against her. She intends to go to the Court before he can with what you have gathered, Linne – but she warns; if Bareiijnr can convince the Court, Kaslni will be killed. She does not believe he has the power to cross the Veil, but you should be wary.’

  Stiffening underneath me, Linne peeked out from under my shoulder, and her bright gaze found Muss almost instantly. The mist that gathered under her eyelids vanished, replaced with a hard, almost vengeful gleam. She shifted gears so fast it was almost enough to give me whiplash, and I pushed myself up to slink off my bed. Carefully tucking my claws away, I stretched long and with a groan, and it was nearly enough to distract her as her gaze slid along my back.

  Nearly enough.

  “What evidence?” Turning to Muss with expectancy seeping from her pores, Linne pulled her knees up to sit and swayed slightly. The sight of her instability brought pure, male pride rushing to my chest, but I couldn’t dwell on it as I shifted back to my human form.

  ‘She did not say – just that you should be wary. If Kaslni is eliminated, there is no one to stop the war with the Seelie.’

  “But it won’t spill over to the human realm – it requires too much magic. Why is Kaslni warning us if we’re safe?” Muss tossed me a dumb look; he didn’t even have a face that could emote such a thing, but I felt it skitter across my skin as he glanced over me with all five eyes. Scowling at him, I climbed onto my bed to pull Linne into my lap, and he adjusted his perch on my head board before answering.

  ‘Without Kaslni, Bareiijnr will most certainly try to cross the Veil to eliminate Linne. She knows too much, and she’s a threat if Kaslni can convince the Court to bring her back. Even if she can’t, and he does kill her, the court may decide at any point that they wish to know more of the situation. The war does not have to leap through the Veil, Derek the Lion – only one Unseelie. I will go back and uncover what I can.’ Shimmering out of existence for the moment, Muss left Linne and I in a much worse mood than when he’d suddenly appeared. Pursing my lips, my mind raced with the implications that I could barely understand.

  War – I got that much.

  The Veil – I got that, too.

  But how Kaslni kept things from falling apart was a mystery, and if she was so high and mighty…what dirt could Bareiijnr possibly have on her?

  “Kaslni is an Elder Courtier – her influence weighs heavily on the others.” As if sensing my confusion, Linne leaned against my chest and took a deep breath to slowly explain. “Bareiijnr has hated Kaslni ever since he became a Courtier. His magic relies on his brute strength and potency, and she has defeated him many times in the past. They are rivals, but she has always come out the victor. It is in this intimate knowledge of each other that Kaslni suspected Bareiijnr was doing something, and she sent me to go figure out what.”

  “The wings…” Murmuring softly, I clenched and released my jaw as I followed Linne’s explanation, and her wild, tangled hair tickled my chest when she nodded.

  “Yes. It is forbidden. Wings cannot be destroyed unless they die with their host, but they can be removed and implanted. Power and ability can be exchanged. It was rumored that this was how Bareiijnr became a Courtier, and why he does not have the finesse of ability he should have mastered himself. No one could ever prove it. Both Seelie and Unseelie have suffered greatly because of this trade. It is also part of the reason my parents went to Kaslni and not another Courtier.” Spreading her beautiful wings out between us, Linne sighed softly before trudging on. “Kaslni knows that war could be prevented if she can find out who is killing on both sides. That killer t
urned out to be Bareiijnr – through an intricate network of wing traders. It took me two years to figure out who answered to who, but before Kaslni could bring this to the Court, Bareiijnr accused me of espionage. Kaslni insisted that I had worked alone, without her knowledge or consent, and none of the Courtiers thought she would lie, so they believed her. She convinced them to banish me rather than kill me because I am young. Here, I will have my magic, but I will only live a human life, and I will die a human death. That is seen as a far worse punishment.”

  “What’ll happen if Bareiijnr kills Kaslni? What kind of leverage could he possibly have over her?” Honestly, the woman sounded like a fucking saint, but Linne only huffed softly at my question. Stroking my arm, she tilted her head to smile sadly, and a frown dragged down the corners of my mouth.

  “Kaslni has many faults, Derek…and they are what you would consider unforgivable sins. If Bareiijnr gets the Court to rally to his side, and Kaslni is killed, there will most certainly be war between the Seelie and Unseelie. The battles would not affect the human world, but the wild magic expelled would thin the Veil, making it easier to send an assassin here after me. It would still require sacrifices to get back, but that is assuming he will go back and not simply kill himself.”

  “And if Kaslni manages to avoid being killed, and Bareiijnr is the one with his head on the chopping block?” My heart twisted at the complexities of everything Linne was patiently explaining, and I tightened my grip on her. Doubt raged through my veins, but I kept my mouth shut even as she opened hers.

  “Then nothing will happen, and Kaslni will keep the war at bay until long after I am dead. Time moves differently over the Veil. Only a few hours there is one month here. Creatures like Muss, that travel through the Veil, are the only ones that can keep track. I have been here for eight months – everything that has happened thus far has only happened in the last few weeks. Even if Kaslni is killed, we will not know for a long time.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Linne

  Shuffling into my house, I rubbed my face roughly as my feet dragged against the carpet.

  “Linne, you could’ve just stayed with me tonight.” Twisting slowly, I stared blankly at Derek and only blinked at the suggestive glint in his eye. “You’re exhausted – Chad won’t mind if you skip one day. You’ve worked every day for the past two weeks.”

  “I am tired because of you – with your – your – y – ” Spluttering slightly, fire licked my cheeks, and Derek gave me a saucy smirk before I turned back around. “It is your fault. I am going to sleep, and I am going to work tomorrow.”

  After this weekend, I was no longer in the mood for Derek or his inexhaustible sexual drive, and I crossed my arms over my aching chest gingerly. My wings twitched as I hunched my shoulders, and he came up behind me to grip my hips. Even his tender, gentle touch sent a fierce throbbing through me, and he pressed his lips to the back of my neck.

  “Let me stay with you. I promise not to touch you, so you can rest.” Arching my brows in disbelief, I held my breath for a long few seconds before eventually exhaling in a sigh. Understanding my silent acceptance, he slipped his arms around my waist to pull me into to his chest. “I’ll even shift if that’ll help you.”

  “Yes.” Grumbling as I turned into Derek’s body, I ignored his triumphant smile to rest my head on his shoulder. Inhaling his thick, manly scent, my nostrils flared as I filled my lungs to groan softly. If I wasn’t so tired, maybe I would be willing to indulge in his desires.

  Maybe.

  “Come on, my mate. I will keep you warm while you rest.” Nuzzling Derek’s chin, I groaned softly, and he carried me with a smooth gait to my room. Gently setting me on my bed, he was careful of my wings as he rubbed my back and slid down my shorts. “Your ass is still twitchy…I love it.”

  “I do not. It throbs.” Spreading my legs automatically to help relieve the pain, I smothered myself in my pillow as Derek stripped out of his clothes. His soft fur brushed against my skin, but I didn’t have the energy to laugh. Each of his massive paws caused the bed to dip where he stepped, and I relished his hard muscles against my back.

  Growls and purrs reverberated through me, and Derek’s rough tongue slithered between my shoulder blades soothingly. This was beautiful – he was beautiful. Under the hard exterior that cracked only for me, he was beautiful. There was no other way to describe him.

  “Beautiful…” Murmuring softly, I took a deep, relaxed breath to sigh. Grumbles met my wistful declaration, and Derek’s tail swished across my heels and against my calves. My eyelids fluttered closed and my mind soon drifted off.

  “Tell me how much you hate me, baby.” Glaring at Derek as he stalked across the carpeted floor, I scooted back as his narrowed gaze focused on my bare apex. “Say it so I can fuck you the way you deserve.”

  My heart hammered in my chest, and my fingers dug into the soft fibers. Adrenaline pumped wildly through my veins, and I panted harshly beyond my burning lungs.

  “No! You stay away!” Shouting hoarsely, I kicked my feet out sharply as he drew closer. Threat washed off him in waves, causing goosebumps to wash over my skin, and my legs cramped tightly. He only continued to stare, hungry and dangerous, and I whimpered as he grinned wickedly.

  “Why? I’m your mate, baby – I can take you whenever I want…however I want!” Shaking my head wildly as he began to transform, I scooted back faster, but he was a lion within seconds. Derek’s snarl caused the entire house to shake, and I shrieked as panic gave away to pure terror.

  “N – no! No! Derek!” Twisting to crawl heavily towards the door, I couldn’t hide my scream as razor sharp claws dug into my back. “No! S-stop – sto-p it!”

  Shoes appeared in my narrowed, watery vision, and I struggled to lift my head as sharp teeth dug into my neck. Bareiijnr’s malicious grin met me, and he crouched down to cup my chin roughly.

  “This is what you get for messing with me…” Murmuring softly, Bareiijnr shoved my face roughly, and I gasped from the pain of teeth slicing my skin. “Enjoy being mated to this thing.”

  Grinding my teeth, I whimpered pathetically as Derek’s claws sunk deeper into my back. My wings were in tatters around the room, feathers spread everywhere and blood speckling the walls. Panting harshly, I forced myself to think even though horror threatened to steal my thoughts.

  This couldn’t be real. Bareiijnr didn’t have this power, and he couldn’t reach me in the human realm.

  So…how…?

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Linne

  Hauling a bag of small, pale rocks into the bed of the human Chad’s truck, I reached to swipe sweat from my forehead with a heavy arm. My eyelids ached, and I leaned on the tailgate to drop my head back and sigh. Summer was in full swing, the harsh sun baking the concrete beneath my feet, and I reached to peel strands of hair that had escaped my pony tail from the back of my neck.

  “Do you need a break, Linne?” Lifting my head, I frowned at the concern etched in the human Chad’s face. Stepping aside to allow him space, my feet tingled in my shoes as he set his burden of heavy, ceramic pots on the truck bed. “You look exhausted.”

  “I am fine.” The lie soured the sensitive flesh inside my mouth, and I rubbed my tongue against its roof absently. The human Chad only shot me a look of disbelief, and he held my gaze steadily for a short moment. “I am fine, I said. I do not need to sleep as you do.”

  “Maybe not, but you do need more sleep than you’re getting. I wish you’d just tell me what’s going on, so I can try to help you.” Frowning at the frustration – tinged desire in the human Chad’s voice, I only shook my head. His scoff rang in my ears, and his eyes lit up even as he opened his mouth. “If you don’t take care of yourself, I’ll put you on medical leave, Linne. I’m not joking. This is serious. It’s been two months since all that drama with Derek’s clan, and you’ve barely slept two hours a night – I know because I asked him.”

  Stunned silence met the human Chad’s declaration, an
d my lips thinned as my wings twitched. The appendages still hadn’t shrunk, even after all this time, but I pushed the thought away roughly. Betrayal speared my chest, and I ground my teeth absently and tore my eyes off him.

  “I am fine. There’s nothing wrong.” The human Chad’s eyelid twitched when my gaze flickered to him, and I flexed my wings in the heavy, accusatory, hot air. “It’s not your problem…”

  “Linne, you’re my employee and my friend – it’s my problem.” Inhaling a deep breath, the human Chad raked his hands through his hair, and the mass slicked back from all of the sweat he perspired. “I’m worried about you. Hell, everyone else is worried, too. Just… think about it, okay? You can’t keep this up forever – this isn’t the faery realm.”

  “I know that.” Lowering my voice, I glanced around to find Kevin studiously focused on the inventory of the truck only a few dozen yards away. Shuffling closer to the human Chad, I pursed my lips and hoovered up a scorching breath through flared nostrils. “I can handle it, human Chad.”

  “See, most people that say they can handle it can’t handle it, Linne.” Grimacing deeply, the human Chad only sighed heavily before his gaze met mine. “But – fine. I won’t bring it up again. Get back to work, and I’ll be calling lunch in about half an hour.”

  “Yes.” Relief surged through me, and I turned on my heel to make my way back into the vast warehouse. The whole while, the human Chad’s eyes never left my back, and my wings ruffled under his intense attentions. Reaching back over my shoulder, I grazed my fingertips along the short, fine feathers that protected the joint with a slight frown.