Finding My Mate

by Rylee Winters

  Derek and the human Chad were talking to each other behind my back. They liked each other well enough – at least, as much as they could like each other based on respect. Everyone is worried… you can’t keep this up forever.

  The human Chad was not wrong, and I held back a sigh as I grabbed another two bags of rocks to load on the truck. Magic weaved into my veins, and my wings twitched against my back as the weight was relieved from my tired arms. From under furrowed brows, I frowned deeply, and my mind worked through the past two months since my life had been turned upside down.

  My nightmares grew worse quicker than I had initially anticipated. The plague on my mind always revolved around Derek and Bareiijnr, but a month ago Kaslni and Muss had started to appear as well.

  No torture in my realm or the human realm could compare to these visions. Knowing they were not real – that someone was implanting these images into my mind – did not stop them from chipping away at me. Reduced to my current state, I had to use magic to keep myself going – magic that I was not adept with.

  Adjusting my burden in my arms, I stretched my wings wide as I left the warehouse, and the baking sun beat down on me once again. I had never gone this long using magic to stay awake; my missions only made three or four days necessary, so I’d never learned to sustain it longer. Now, that lack of discipline was coming back to haunt me.

  “Linne – ” Pausing mid-step as Kristy came jogging up to me from behind, I twisted as curiosity replaced the depressed frustration on my face. “I’m going to go try this new place downtown for lunch. Do you want to come? It’s just me and a few girlfriends.”

  “Okay.” The answer flew out of my mouth before I could stop it, and I flushed brightly at the big, pleased smile that Kristy flashed me.

  “Great – I’ll meet you out here in, like, 20 minutes, okay?” Ducking my head in a nod, I watched Kristy make her way back into the air-conditioned office as my frown fixed back in place. She’d never invited me to lunch; we only spent time together if everyone was going out to lunch together.

  Everyone is worried. The human Chad’s declaration from only a few minutes ago rang between my ears, and I shook my head wildly.

  “Okay.” Squaring my shoulders, I grumbled to myself and forced away my troubling thoughts. The only way I could stop the nightmares was to figure out how they were being afflicted on me.

  Until then, there was no reason to waste energy I didn’t have on worrying.

  Loading the last bag onto the truck, I rubbed my sticky, sweaty palms together before glancing around. Lunch was only about five minutes away, and Jon and Kevin were lounged underneath a cabana directly next to the warehouse entrance. Heading across the lot, I rolled my jaw absently and narrowed my eyes at how quiet the place was. Even the creatures in the sparse clusters of trees around the yard that buzzed and screamed were silent from the heat.

  “ –zing… I wish Chad would just let us go so we don’t die of heatstroke out here.” Kevin’s complaint tickled my ears, and I watched through tight pupils as Jon shot the younger man a slight glare.

  “You did nothing but check a list all damn morning.” Smiling at Jon’s grumble, I reached the pair and grabbed a water bottle from the cooler that sat against the wall of the warehouse. “Be a man and suck it up.”

  “Hey – just because you’re suffering more than me from doing the physical labor part doesn’t negate my suffering, Jon.” The ice in the box had melted hours ago, and the water was cool but not cold as it engulfed my palm. Glancing back as Jon snorted roughly, I watched him rock back on his heels.

  “If you keep complaining, you’ll be suffering a lot more.” Jon ground the threat through his teeth, and I twisted the cap off my water bottle as my brows came together sharply. The shadow of the cabana deepened as I flexed my wings, and my shoulders rolled in satisfaction when the temperature instantly decreased.

  “Do you know many torture tactics, Jon?” Posing my question to break up their glaring contest, I lifted my open bottle to my lips as Jon cast his hard gaze on me. For a long moment, he was silent, and I gulped down half the contents of the plastic container before he opened his mouth.

  “Yes. I was a certified interrogator and a sniper when I was in the military.” Returning his gaze to Kevin, Jon smirked slightly in a menacing kind of way that caused the younger man to pale from the beet red shade of his cheeks. “So, I’d suggest you shut up about the heat.”

  “Hey, are you ready to go, Linne?” Sidling up next to me, Kristy shouldered her purse as I nodded firmly. “Alright – we’ll see you later guys.”

  Following Kristy to her car at the other end of the lot, I sighed heavily and dragged my palms down my face. Next to me, she only huffed a laugh, and she flipped her colorful hair to gather the strands into a tight bun high on her head.

  “Don’t listen to them – it’ll save you a bunch of headaches.” Even as Kristy spoke up, part of my attention went into shrinking my wings; I had to actively think about it now. Meeting Derek had changed something in me, but I couldn’t even begin to think what. Nothing was wrong – physically – and my magic was mostly bottled up.

  My wings wouldn’t fit into her tiny, two-door vehicle, and I flexed them absently as they became smaller and smaller.

  “Are you doing okay, Linne?” Only speaking up again once we were driving down the main street towards downtown, Kristy glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. “You’ve look tired ever since your accident. Are you sleeping well?”

  Gnawing diligently on my bottom lip, I debated telling Kristy the truth; it was plainly obvious that no one believed my lie. Staring absently at the dashboard, I followed the stitching in the fake leather for a moment before slowly opening my mouth. Hope blossomed in my chest that Kristy would be able to help me when most others had failed – when I had failed to help myself.

  After all, she was a woman. We were the same. And her friends were women too. The fact that they were human and I was not did not change the fact that they might think of something I had yet to uncover.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Derek

  Rolling my jaw in irritation, I stared at the glossy, long tabletop through narrowed eyes while words flew past me unnoticed. My mind whirred loudly in my ears, and I tapped my foot against the carpet with tension zinging through my legs. The eyes of the multiple clan leaders in the room drifted to me every few seconds only to snap away, but they never strayed for long.

  Clenching my hands into tight fists under the table, my arms flexed as annoyance flooded my chest. Flickering to the female hawk shifter sitting directly to my right, my eyes narrowed into slits as she openly gazed at my arm. Her delicate, fine features were masked in curiosity and something darker I’d seen too many times; that kind of something that people at the circus indulged in as they ooh’d and aah’d at creatures strange and undesirable.

  “What are you looking at?” The angry, venomous snap echoed around the room, and the woman jumped in her chair as her gaze flew to mine. My discolored skin tingled fiercely, and she paled considerably when I bared my sharpened teeth at her. Tension buzzed low in the atmosphere, but my discomfort only grew when Alpha Jackson’s sharp eyes rested on me.

  “Derek – do you need to leave?” Casting a pointed glare at me, Jackson stared me down until I growled, setting my narrowed gaze back on the tabletop. “Now then, as I was saying… We still don’t know what happened to the wolves in your clan. We were prepared to fight, but the pack was already comatose when we arrived at the park. The fact that you don’t believe me doesn’t mean that wasn’t what happened. The closest we can get to an answer to this is that the death of their Alpha caused their minds to shut down – it has been known to happen in the past.”

  Jackson’s lies flowed smoothly from his mouth, and I leaned back in my chair as he, once again, commanded the room. These meetings had been going on for almost a month now, but the clan leaders seated around me still didn’t believe Jackson.

  Which was as profus
ely irritating as it was commendable.

  “Are you really expecting us to believe that Alpha Liza had such a strong bond with her pack that they suffered such sudden and terrible deaths because of her demise?” Disgust and disbelief laced Karina’s scoff, and she clasped her hands against the wooden table with a deep frown carving wrinkles into her otherwise young face. “We don’t not want to be amicable with you, Jackson – but don’t treat us like fools. Just because we’re able to push aside our prejudices doesn’t mean we don’t have them. We’re not stupid humans that can’t sense when you’re lying.”

  ‘What kind of shifter is she?’ Muss’ question invaded my skull, creating a ringing in my ears, and I held back a frustrated groan. Just what I needed – one more voice I didn’t want to hear.

  “She’s a monitor lizard. A sneaky bitch.” Hopping along the length of the table as I answered him, Muss ducked and cocked his head at Karina. She was none-the-wiser, and a rough snort clogged my throat at how good her senses were.

  “I have a feeling you know exactly what happened to Liza’s pack. What’s so wrong with just telling us and letting this issue die already?” The shifter world was incredibly diverse, but I just never liked lizard shifters. They were a weird people, and Karina was no exception as she flicked out her tongue in a reptilian manner to taste the air. “Why do you schedule these meetings every week just to tell us something we’re never going to believe?”

  ‘Yes, Derek the Lion – why don’t you tell them it was Linne that killed those shifters? Would that not end the arduous torture of these meetings?’ Tilting his head to watch me with two eyes, Muss frowned as much as a crow could when he didn’t even have a physical body. ‘Do you believe they will persecute her?’

  “I’m doing this because I enjoy it, you damn bird – ” Grumbling out loud, I ground my teeth together as all eyes found their way to me again. Glaring hotly at Muss as he tossed his head in a laugh, my eyes flickered to Jackson, and my eyelid twitched at the expectancy on his face. “This is exactly what I want to do on a Wednesday afternoon. Just tell them – for fuck’s sake…”

  Jackson scowled deeply at my borderline snarl, and I bristled as I pushed myself out of my chair. Bracing my palms on the table, I caught Karina’s gaze to watch the sparkle of surprise grow.

  “An angel came down and smote those bastards off the face of the Earth. Boy scouts honor – that’s what happened.” The second the words left my mouth, Karina stood up in a fury, and her eyes changed color to a reptilian green. A sick kind of satisfaction raged through my chest at the stunned silence that met me, and I leaned back on my heels to cross my arms over my chest. “That’s the truth. If you don’t believe it, that’s not our problem.”

  “Fine! Treat this like a joke, you window licking freak – ” My arm ached as the full weight of Karina’s disgust and hatred, and her frustration, was set on me. Sharpening fingernails dug into my fleshy palms, and she flung her arms out wide as the air thinned. “It’s not like they’re part of your clan, right? Why care about the turmoil you caused in this town when you don’t have to clean it up?”

  “To be fair, they weren’t really part of our clan, either,” the bird shifter seated next to me said, speaking up for the first time, her calm voice temporarily dampened my anger. “Don’t pretend that you care about the wolves that died, Karina. You want to know what happened so that you can get appropriate restitution for the damages to the clan, when in reality – there wasn’t any damage. The wolves that weren’t killed are gone… we have a new branch joining the clan to take their place, who are much more agreeable than Liza and her lot ever were. We’ve made money on the things the wolves left behind – reselling their houses and other belongings. I came because I was invited. I was curious about this clan – but as far as I’m concerned, this is not the mess you’re trying to make it out to be.”

  “I agree with Samantha – if nothing else, you did us a favor… I’ll admit I have a particular dislike for humans, but the wolves took it to a level my herd would never approach. The wolf pack that’s replacing Liza’s is headed by a smart male.” Inhaling sharply at the strong, male voice that rolled through the room like thunder, I turned my gaze to a deer shifter that kept one eye on me and the other on Karina. “I believe you know more than you’re letting on, but the fact of the matter is that it doesn’t do us any trouble not to know.”

  ‘I do not understand – why did these shifters wait until now to explain this? Why waste so much time?’ Grimacing as my gaze flickered to Karina at Muss’ heavily laced question, I ground my teeth and rolled my shoulders in a failed attempt to get rid of the tension.

  “You’re a fucking bully, and no one wanted to speak out until you went too far.” Growling lowly even as she turned a bright, beet red, I exhaled through flared nostrils as the familiar sensation of Muss’ glimmering, magical gaze rested on my face.

  Damn bird.

  “We should’ve gotten rid of your entire clan once the wolves were gone – but we didn’t. Obviously, that was a fucking mistake.”

  “Derek – !” Jackson’s Alpha authority prickled down my spine in thick waves of threat, and I pursed my lips tightly as he glared. “We’re not here to talk about our deep-seeded differences in opinion. We’re here to talk about a treaty so this never happens again.”

  Slowly, stiffly, sitting back down, I clenched and released my fists in my lap as Muss hopped his way towards me. Curiosity shone bright in his eyes, and the biggest one blinked up at me even as the meeting recommenced on tiptoes.

  ‘You are worried about Linne, are you not, Derek the Lion?’

  My eyelid twitched in agitation, giving the ethereal bird all he needed in answer, and I sucked in a sharp breath.

  “She hasn’t slept in almost a week and a half. Of course I’m worried. You said it yourself – there’s not enough wild magic to keep her awake for so long without repercussions.”

  Anxiety thrummed through my veins, replacing the thick anger at Karima’s slur, and I couldn’t push the feeling down. My gut tightened, ribs shifting against my lungs and squeezing my heart. Muss ducked his head as his words sloshed into my skull.

  ‘I am still searching, but I have found nothing yet. Whoever is inflicting these nightmares on Linne has covered her tracks very well. I cannot even tell which side of the Veil she is on.’

  The little report soured my expression, and the shimmery raven on the table that no one else could see tossed his head side to side.

  ‘I can only do so much, Derek the Lion. Kaslni has need of me, and she is my master – not Linne. Things across the Veil are getting worse… war is seemingly inevitable. Bareiijnr is gaining support across the Court as higher-ranking Seelie and Unseelie are being murdered and de-winged.’

  “Just find who’s doing this before Linne hurts herself.”

  Ducking his head, Muss shimmered into obscurity and left me to my darkening thoughts as I once again ignored the people around me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Linne

  Shuffling into Derek’s house, I stretched my wings wide until the tips of my feathers brushed the walls of his living room. Flexing my toes against the carpet, my legs ached, and my hands shook slightly from the disappointment of the day.

  Despite my hopes, Kristy and her friends hadn’t been able to help me; I had a fun time at lunch with them, but no answers came to me.

  “Hey – ” Emerging from the kitchen, Derek sauntered across the living room to wrap his arms around me. Exhaustion flooded my muscles, and I tucked my wings against my back as my palms clung to his sides. “I had a terrible day. How was yours?”

  Mumbling against my hair, Derek inhaled deeply, and our chests pressed together as I copied him. His smell swirled in my sluggish mind, and I held my breath for a long moment before exhaling against his neck.

  “It was not good.” My murmur along his skin caused Derek to deflate, and I nuzzled his muscular, hard flesh with a slight frown. “I do not know what to do. I’m ver
y tired.”

  “You should sleep, Linne – we both need a good nap.” Blinking slowly, I only shook my head slightly, and Derek tightened his grip on me firmly. “You’ll go insane if you don’t sleep.”

  “I can’t. I don’t want to talk about it. What about your day? The meeting went badly?” Wrapped up in each other, I closed my eyes and rested my cheek on Derek’s shoulder to feel him stiffen. His chest rumbled against mine in a low growl, and I gave a breathless groan in response.

  “It went well overall, but those assholes make me want to go on a rampage.” Slithering around his waist, my arms quivered under the dark, heavy weight in Derek’s tone. “I hate that we can’t just tell them to fuck off. I wish I could just show you off and get them to understand you’re not a threat if they keep to themselves.”

  “But I am dangerous…” My grumble only earned me a sigh, and Derek pulled back to flash me a prideful grin filled with teeth. Frowning under furrowed brows, I pursed my lips tightly as I eyeballed him. “You do not think I am dangerous? I am very powerful.”

  “Your abilities don’t work on me though, Linne. I don’t think you’re dangerous to me.” Derek’s words only deepened my frown, and I pulled away from him as hurt ripped through my chest. His smile dropped, and I crossed my arms over my chest to hide the goosebumps that washed my skin.

  “I am not only dangerous because of my abilities. I’m a very adept fighter. I will show you if you don’t believe me, Derek.” Adrenaline surged through my veins, and my wings twitched and ruffled as Derek scoffed.

  “I’m not going to fight you Linne – you’re half dead with exhaustion. I do believe you… that’s not what I’m trying to say.” Narrowing into a hot glare, my eyes burned as Derek’s observation rang true inside my skull. His own heated gaze met mine, and he reached for me with stiff palms to squeeze my biceps. “I’m just saying that you don’t use your abilities – physical or magical – on people that don’t deserve it… and, for the most part, those clan leaders don’t deserve it. That’s admirable – if anything, it makes you more dangerous.”