by Paula Kay
“But let me go grab my cup of tea, and I would love to sit here with you,” Gigi said.
While Gigi went back into the kitchen, Arianna spent a minute collecting her thoughts. Just say it. Blurt it out. She was surprised at the amount of anxiety this conversation was causing her. She’d have to remember to bring it up with Doc tomorrow.
Gigi was back with her tea before Arianna had another moment to formulate her words just right in her head.
“You’ve not told me yet about your meeting with Douglas yesterday. Did it go well, and was he able to finalize everything that you’ve been waiting for with the will?” Gigi asked.
This questioning from an employee might not have been appropriate in one of her friend’s homes. But Gigi really was like family to Arianna, and she knew that Gigi’s concern for her was genuine. She didn’t care about Arianna’s wealth and she deserved to know the truth. And Arianna had confided in Gigi. About everything. It was a special bond that they shared, made all the more stronger, it seemed, after the death of her parents four months ago.
With those thoughts, Arianna did decide to come right out with it. “Gi, the meeting went well and I’ve now got access to all the money. Douglas did a good job handling everything, just as Daddy knew he would, I suppose. Now there’s something else that I want to talk to you about. And please hear me out, okay?”
Arianna paused long enough to notice Gigi repositioning herself in her chair. She knew how fidgety Gigi got when she was uncomfortable. She had noticed it several times during the worst of the arguments that would break out between Arianna and her parents.
“Go on, Ari. You’re making me nervous, but I can’t imagine anything worse than what you’ve already told me these past months.” Gigi pulled a tissue out of her pocket as if she was preparing for the worst.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Arianna reached over to give her a quick squeeze before continuing. “You’ve been amazing. Really. You do know how much I appreciate you, don’t you?”
“Arianna, are you getting ready to sack me?” Gigi had a look of shock on her face.
“Good God, no, Gi.” Arianna laughed, despite Gigi’s obvious discomfort. “That is not going to happen. Ever. This is about me, and I’m just worried as to how you’re going to react to it. But I’ve made up my mind, so there’s nothing that you can say to keep me from doing it.”
Gigi seemed amused as she motioned for Arianna to continue. “Well, go on. Out with it then.”
“I’m going. On my big trip.” Arianna’s voice was stern as she noted Gigi’s expression of disapproval. “Honestly, I’d think that you’d try to understand where I’m coming from with this. You know how long I’ve been planning it.” She was stern on the outside, but in her head she was begging Gigi to give her her blessing for the trip. She didn’t like being at odds with her. Their eyes met and held for a beat as Arianna finished her little speech.
“I know but—it’s just that so much has happened.” Arianna saw the look of genuine concern on Gigi’s face, and she understood it.
Arianna’s voice softened. “I know.” She looked her in the eyes. “But you have to trust me on this, okay? It’s something that I need to do.”
Gigi sighed and stared at Arianna for a full minute. Arianna was used to Gigi’s quiet approach to things that she disapproved of. It was how she had always handled Arianna since she was little. She could remember a time when Gigi had caught her in a lie. When asked by Gigi if she was telling the truth, Arianna just burst into tears. She hated Gigi’s disapproval more than any her parents had displayed, and those times had been plentiful for sure. But Arianna was a grown woman now and she could make decisions for herself. She had to be making her own decisions now. She felt a new resolve as she waited for Gigi to speak.
“Ari, my dear. You know how much I love you.” Arianna winced visibly at her words and waited for Gigi to continue. “If you are asking my opinion, and I think you are not, it’s a big mistake. With the accident, your breakdown and—”
“Gi, please. I don’t want to keep going over this,” Arianna interrupted. “All of those reasons you’re listing are the exact reasons that I need to take this trip. Can you understand that? This is something that I need to do for myself.” She willed Gigi to understand.
“Si, bella. I do understand. I want you to be happy. Especially now.” A tear made its way down Gigi’s cheek as she continued. “But do you think you’ll be alright? I want to take care of you here. Where you can be comfortable and have your friends, your doc—”
“I’ve been talking about it with Doc. She knows what my plans are and she knows that I’ve made up my mind. I’m feeling so much stronger emotionally and the new medication seems to be helping with my sleep. Good grief, I’m way too young to be headed to the loony bin—but if I stay here, surrounded by doctors and worried friends, that’s where I might end up.” Arianna laughed in an attempt to lighten the tone of the conversation.
“It’s a miracle you’re even thinking of getting on a plane after all you’ve been through.” Gigi didn’t catch herself before the words came out. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re fine to be flying and I’m sure it will be safe.” Gigi looked worried that she had brought up something so sensitive.
“Flying to Europe isn’t anything like the small plane my parents were on. I really think I’ll be fine with it.” Arianna had flown many times with her parents as a child, including the small plane that was piloted by their friend during the accident. She shuddered and closed her eyes for a moment, willing the picture of the small plane going down out of her mind. Yes, a lot had happened, and Arianna didn’t feel she had the time for prolonged grieving. She was going on this trip to get away from everything that was stressing her out. Now, if she could only convince Blu to make the trip with her, everything would be perfect. But she’d go alone if she had to. She was ready to be alone for a while.
“Well, do you know how long you’ll be gone?” Gigi said.
“No, not really.” Arianna did want to ease the worry that she saw on Gigi’s face. “But it won’t be too long. I’ll come back soon. I promise.” She reached over, giving her a big hug. “I’ll come back here where you can take care of me again, feeding me your delicious home cooking and—”
“Very funny.” Gigi laughed at Arianna’s teasing about her mediocre cooking abilities. “You just come home,” she said quietly.
The phone rang, interrupting Arianna’s thoughts and the unfinished conversation the two women were still having. “Let me run and get that and then we’ll finish our talk,” Gigi said as she got up to make her way to the kitchen.
Arianna had a few moments to collect her thoughts again before Gigi was standing in the doorway, her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone, with a strange look on her face. “Gigi, what is it? Is something wrong?” She got up to make her way across the space between them.
“Bella, it’s for you. She says she’s your mother. Your birth mother,” Gigi said.
Chapter 5
Arianna looked at Gigi with panic on her face. What the hell? My mother? She couldn’t handle this right now, could she? For a moment she thought about having Gigi tell the woman that she had the wrong number, to dismiss the call completely. But even as the thought flitted through her mind, her curiosity was peeked. My mother?
Her hand shaking, Arianna took the phone out of Gigi’s hand and crossed the distance to the patio chair outside to have a seat. “Hello?” she whispered into the phone.
“Arianna, is it you?”
Arianna was taken aback when she heard the lovely Italian accent.
“It’s me, yes. Who is this?” Arianna could barely get the words out and wondered if the woman on the other end had even heard her speak.
“It’s—I’m—”
The woman on the other end of the line seemed to be as nervous as Arianna felt.
“I’m your mother, Arianna,” she said.
“What do you want?” The question popped out of her
mouth before she could edit herself. “I mean—oh, I don’t know what to say. Where are you?” Arianna asked. She felt completely numb with shock and was having a hard time formulating a coherent thought, much less speaking in a way that she thought made any sense.
“I’m sorry. I’m sure this must be a shock to you. I’ve been debating about when to call. I know about the accident. About your—your parents. I’m so sorry, Arianna.”
She was listening to this woman speak on the other end of the phone, but nothing was making any sense.
“What? How? I don’t even know your name,” Arianna blurted out in a rush.
“Si, sorry. My name is Lia. And I’m here. In San Francisco.” The line was silent for a few seconds. “Can I see you?” The woman asked, her voice quiet.
Arianna needed some time. Didn’t she? She needed lots of time, but things were happening so fast around her, and now this, of all things. She rubbed her temple and noticed the glass of water that Gigi had placed on the table beside her. She needed a drink, but not of water right now. God, I really need a drink tonight.
“Arianna, are you still there?” The voice of the woman on the other end of the line was barely a whisper.
Arianna was sure that she heard fear in the voice of this woman that called herself her mother. “Yes, I’m sorry. This is all so—so shocking. When would you want to meet?” Arianna could hardly believe that she was considering it. She could cancel later if she wanted. She’d talk to Doc about it before the meeting. And Blu.
“Any time that is good for you. You tell me when and where and I’ll be there, okay?” Lia sounded hopeful, and Arianna felt a rush of emotions all at once.
“Okay.” Arianna whispered into the phone. She cleared her throat. “How about this Thursday? I know a nice little cafe in Little Italy. Cafe Villa. Do you know it?”
“Si, yes. I know the area well.”
She knows it well? Arianna thought.
“Say, eleven o’clock?” Arianna said.
“Yes, eleven will be perfect. Arianna, I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.” Arianna imagined the tears coming down this face she’d never seen as the woman choked on the words. The face of her mother. She couldn’t help but wonder what this woman looked like. Is this really happening to me right now?
Arianna collected herself for what seemed like the hundredth time since she’d gotten on the phone. “Alright then. Let me get a number from you too.” Just in case. In case I can’t go through with it, she told herself.
They exchanged mobile numbers and said goodbye. It was then that Arianna noticed Gigi sitting there beside her, looking a bit pale. She turned to her. “Gi, that was my birth mom. I think it really is her.” Arianna felt like she was in shock as she reiterated to Gigi what the woman had told her.
“Bella, yes. I think it is. Are you okay?” said Gigi, reaching out to pull Arianna in for a slight hug.
Arianna pulled back and took a deep breath. “Yes. I think I’m okay. I don’t know. This is way more than I bargained for when I got up this morning. I need to excuse myself. Can we talk more later?” Arianna said.
“Si, yes, of course, bella. Your head must be swimming. Go on. You know where I am if you need me.”
“Thanks.” Arianna gave her a proper hug now before she went back inside the house. She headed back upstairs to her room. She needed to get Blu on the phone. Blu would help her sort out all of these thoughts in her head.
After trying unsuccessfully to get hold of Blu, Arianna sat down in the chaise lounge in the corner of her bedroom. She looked out the window at the view of the bay and the city skyline, journal in hand, ready to try to make some sense of all the thoughts she was having.
She could hardly believe that she was even writing the words, but she mostly noticed a sense of peace coming over her—which seemed odd, given the drama that had unfolded today. Her mother. She could hardly believe this was happening. She had wanted it. Dreamed about the day, but that was before. She looked up and caught a glimpse of her reflection in the window. When had she started looking so much older and less carefree? She sighed because she knew exactly when her world had changed.
Chapter 6
Arianna really needed to talk to someone, and an idea occurred to her. Did Douglas know anything about this? She reached for her phone to call him before she had time to think about what she would say.
He answered on the third ring. “Ari, hi. How are you doing, my dear? I’ve been meaning to phone you to see if we are still on for lunch tomorrow.”
“Yes, for sure. Our usual time before my session. But that’s not why I’m calling.” Arianna took a moment for a deep breath. “I just got a phone call from a woman who says she’s my mother. My birth mother. I was wondering if this is something you know anything about?”
Seconds passed as she waited for a response on the other end of the phone. “Douglas? Are you there?”
“What are you doing right now? Can I come over?” Douglas finally responded into the phone. “I’d rather talk about this in person.”
Oh God, Arianna thought. More surprises? “I’m home, yes. But honestly, I don’t think I can handle much more today.” She tried to lighten the mood with a small laugh. “Yes, come over. I’ll be here.”
“Okay. I’ll see you in thirty minutes.”
Arianna clicked off the phone, wondering what it was that he wanted to talk to her about. She’d gotten close to her father’s best friend since the accident. Douglas had been around for as long as she could remember. And she knew that he genuinely cared for her. Not having any children of his own, she guessed that with her parents gone, he felt a strong sense of responsibility to her; and she did feel a great deal of comfort knowing that he was there.
Douglas had helped so much these past few months. She knew that she wouldn’t have gotten through any of it without him. He’d been the one to give her the news that day about the flight going down. He’d made all of the funeral arrangements, and it was Douglas that was there the day she had her breakdown, taking her to the hospital and seeing to it that she got the help that she needed.
She believed that he was always honest with her, and she was counting on him to help her wade through this new information about Lia. About her mother. The thought shocked her back to the present.
Arianna busied herself with tidying her room, something she’d only taken to doing recently, as she’d grown up with Gigi taking care of all of that. But she had to grow up now. She knew this and had been taking the steps to make herself more independent. Although she couldn’t imagine a time when she wouldn’t have Gigi there for her. It was more about the companionship than her help, really. But she could afford it anyways.
Before she knew it, Gigi was calling her on the intercom to let her know of Douglas’s arrival.
Arianna went downstairs to the living room, where Gigi and Douglas were caught up in conversation. She stood quietly for a moment on the staircase, watching them unnoticed. She’d wondered lately about the two of them. Gigi and Douglas. It wasn’t a crazy idea, even though they both seemed resigned to being single. She’d have to take it up with them separately and see if there wasn’t a little matchmaking to be done there. She smiled at the thought as she entered the living room.
Douglas stood to kiss her on the cheek and Gigi stood up as well. “I’ll leave you two. Would you like anything to drink?” Gigi asked.
Douglas and Arianna each requested a water, and Arianna sat down on the plush sofa across from where Douglas was seated in the formal living room. She hated this room. It was the most stuffy of any room in the house. Her mother had never let her play in here as a child. It was a room for entertaining and grown-ups only. Look at me, all grown-up now. She stifled the silly thought as her mind turned towards Douglas and the more serious matters at hand.
“So, what is it that’s so important for you to take time out of your busy lawyer schedule in the middle of the afternoon?” Arianna said in her teasing way.
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�How are you doing?” Douglas said with a look of unmistakable concern on his face. “I’ve been a little worried about you. You seemed a little out of it when I saw you yesterday.”
“Oh, that. Yes, I’m fine. I was trying a new medication that Doc had given me to help with the lack of sleep I’ve been having. So yes. I’m fine except for the fact that my birth mother just called me out of the blue. Something which doesn’t surprise you, I gather?” She looked pointedly at him as she spoke. “Douglas, what’s going on?”
Douglas looked at her intently. “Ari, I do know about Lia. I’ve known about her for a while.”
Arianna felt a sudden rush of emotion. She hated being lied to more than anything, and she’d be shocked if he had been keeping something this important from her. “Go on,” she said.
“Your father came to me about a month before the accident. Lia, your birth mom, had contacted him then. She had just moved to the area and, after some good detective work on her part, she found out who you were and wanted to schedule a meeting with your father,” Douglas said.
“Wait. You mean to tell me that she’s been living here for months? And my father knew about it? This is all so confusing.” Arianna rubbed her head and reached for the water that Gigi had placed on the coffee table. “Go on. Don’t stop now. Tell me everything you know. Please.” She knew that he would be honest with her. It had been the agreement they’d made a few months ago when she finally confided in him about all that she’d been going through herself since the accident. That was really when their friendship had begun.
Douglas took a deep breath. “Your father would not agree to the meeting. He was worried about your mother and how she would handle it. But he did spend a significant amount of time with Lia on the phone. He told her about you. And he asked that she not disrupt your life right now. He gave Lia my phone number, telling her that if she needed to communicate again, she should do so through me.” Douglas watched Arianna as she took in the information.