The Complete Legacy Series: Books 1 - 6

by Paula Kay

  Her mother looked at her with new tears forming in her eyes as she reached out to hug her daughter. “You don’t know what that means to me—it means everything.”

  Blu nodded and raised her glass of cider. “To new beginnings—for both of us.”

  With a wide smile, her mom raised her glass. “Cheers to that.”

  It was strange sleeping in her old room, much of it just as she’d remembered it. Thankfully most of her worst memories of Harold were from the trailer. By the time Blu had turned fifteen and was living in this house, he’d not dared to visit her bedroom at night. She was much too feisty at that age—she’d been sleeping with a knife under her pillow for two years by that time.

  It was incredible, really, to think of how much her life had changed—where she was living now and the kinds of things that money could buy. She was of the opinion that money didn’t buy you happiness, but she had come to realize was that it did, in fact, buy you security—and not just the financial kind.

  She remembered the early days with Jemma, when she’d first moved to San Francisco and could barely afford a small studio apartment in one of the worst parts of town. Those times had been tough, and she’d worked hard to always be sure that Jemma felt safe and protected by her.

  The sirens outside down the street reminded her that not a lot had changed for her mother in that regard. She’d guessed that her mom’s greatest worry was about money, and tomorrow they were going to sit down and talk about what needed to be paid—the financial pieces that Blu could help her with—and she was glad to do it. Unlike when she’d written her the huge check, her heart full of fear and determination to keep her away, this time the money wasn’t a payoff.

  Blu thought about the phone conversation that she’d had with Chase earlier, filling him in on everything that had happened. He’d been so genuinely pleased for her, listening to her as she talked about possible solutions to helping her mother out, offering her his own insights and giving her a lot to think about by the time they’d hung up. She was so thankful that Chase had talked her into coming here, recognizing her need for closure and perhaps trusting his own instinct that she’d been wrong about her mother.

  She smiled as she thought about her mother and spending the next few days with her. It was so nice to be able to do that without the strain that had been there during the attempt a few months ago. It felt more honest now, largely due to Blu’s own doubts being cast aside. She imagined that it could be tough for her mother to share her financial burdens with her, but Blu would do her best to help her to feel like it wasn’t a big deal, which reminded her that she needed to share more about her own past—and Arianna—with her. She’d told her a little bit about the best friend that she’d had but there was a lot still to be told. Blu thought that it would help her mother to accept the financial help from her, so it all needed to be said. She couldn’t help but laugh a little bit as she thought about what Arianna would have thought about the situation—that Blu was using Arianna’s money to help her mother. She would have loved that.

  Blu sat with her mom at her kitchen table, bills and file folders of information spread out in front of them. She knew that it hadn’t been easy for her, but finally her mother had just agreed to let Blu look at all of it.

  “It’s a mess.” Her mother looked overwhelmed as she placed the stack of bills down on the table. “You know, the one thing about being strung out on drugs is that you really don’t give yourself any space to care about things such as finances and paying bills. I don’t know how I ever survived as long as I did, to be honest.”

  Blu nodded and hoped that her mother would see that she was trying to be supportive and not judgmental as the questions came forth.

  “How have you been doing it—paying everything—until now, I mean?”

  “I took some classes that were offered in the program that I was in after rehab. One of them was in personal finance, so actually I’ve come a long ways since the pre-sober days.” She laughed. “Harold had been keeping a job for several years, so he was taking care of the house payments and a few of the other big bills before he left.”

  “And are you working—right now, I mean?” Blu asked carefully, as it was a topic that hadn’t been brought up at all between them. When she was younger, her mom was constantly bouncing between odd jobs waitressing and house cleaning, and then anything that would bring in a little money after she’d lost one of the other jobs. Blu, herself, used to contribute some of her babysitting money to help pay the bills—her mother had seen to it that she knew that it was part of her job to help take care of the family. Blu hadn’t really resented it too much back then. She didn’t know any different, and was determined that they didn’t end up on the street.

  “I’d been working for the past two years at a restaurant across town. It was a great job with really good tips and they let me work a lot of extra shifts, so it hasn’t been a problem paying the bills until I was let go—a few months ago.” She looked down as if she was suddenly ashamed.

  “A few months ago? So, before you came out to San Diego?” Blu said carefully.

  “Yes, I know it probably wasn’t wise, but I just needed to do it. I really thought that I’d be able to find a job when I came back, but it’s been a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

  And the house?” Blu asked.

  “When I lost the job, I knew I was going to have a problem keeping the house, so I decided to quit paying on it and find an apartment to rent.”

  “Thus, the eviction notice on your door.” Blu said matter-of-factly.

  Her mom nodded, and it seemed a chore for her to gather the courage to continue tallying up what would be needed to get everything current. But she did it, with Blu there trying to be supportive, trying to remind herself that her mom was trying and a lot of this was just the result of the poorer decisions that she’d made in the past—part of what she needed to work through and learn from.

  The two women finished with the bills, and Blu had all of the totals and information needed to move forward with a plan for helping her mother. She’d not leave without writing her another check, but she needed to spend a little time thinking about an amount that would be best for her. She didn’t want to just swoop in and fix a problem only temporarily, but her mother did seem very determined to check out a few job leads that she’d heard about through some friends of hers; Blu knew that she honestly wasn’t looking for a handout. Blu had decided to sleep on it, and they’d sort it out before she left the next day.

  They enjoyed the rest of the day together, talking and going for a nice walk in the park across town. Blu took her mom out for a really nice dinner and delighted in how much her mother enjoyed the extravagant meal. She told her about Chase and how much she would love his cooking, already thinking about how nice it would be the next time her mother came to visit them in San Diego. She showed her all of the pictures that she had of Jemma on her phone, both of them laughing at her silly poses and attempts to be funny for the camera.

  The day had been very nice, with not a single tear shed or harsh word spoken. For the first time Blu really felt that they’d connected on a different level, and she had no doubts now that their relationship was only going to continue to grow stronger. As she said goodnight, she surprised herself by the touch of sadness that she felt over having to leave the next day. When she’d mentioned it to her mother, Linda had encouraged her to stay longer; but Blu knew that it was time to get back to Jemma, who’d been staying with Claire—and to Chase. She did miss him a lot. They had been talking on the phone every day, but she couldn’t wait to catch him up on everything in person.

  Blu sat on her mom’s worn-out sofa, feet curled underneath her, sipping on the strong coffee she’d made. She was up early—probably due to the slight jet lag she still had—but she didn’t mind the time alone before her mom joined her. She had a whirlwind of emotions to process—so much had happened over the past few days. She felt so much peace, it was unbelievable. It was the best sh
e’d felt in a long time by far.

  “Good morning.” Her mom’s cheerful voice interrupted Blu’s thoughts.

  “Good morning.” She grinned. “I hope you don’t mind that I helped myself to making some coffee.”

  “No, not at all. It’s lovely to wake up to the smell of fresh coffee. Thank you for that.” Her mom laughed, making her way to the kitchen to fill a mug for herself before joining her daughter in the living room.

  The two women sat together in easy silence, sipping their coffee. Blu didn’t feel the need to speak, and it seemed that her mother felt equally as comfortable with her.

  “I really love having you here.” Her mother said, breaking the silence. “I’m afraid it’s going to seem really weird when you leave, even after such a short time.”

  Blu nodded, still lost in her own thoughts. She’d woken up that morning with an idea in her head that wouldn’t leave her as the morning progressed.

  “Blu?”

  “Sorry, yes?” Blu said, trying to focus on her mother’s words.

  “I was just saying that I hope we’ll be able to call each other—”

  “—Come with me,” Blu blurted out without thinking about it a moment longer. “Come with me back to San Diego.”

  Her mother looked up at her with a surprised expression. “Oh, I couldn’t.”

  “Why not?” Blu said, grinning now. “You can stay with me to begin with—until we sort out if you want your own place or if—if maybe you’d live with us—my place is so big, honestly. There’s more than enough room.”

  Her mother was looking at her with wide eyes. “Really, Blu? Are you being serious with me right now?”

  “I am.” Blu laughed. “Say yes, just say yes. We’ll work everything out as we go. And I can postpone the flight until tomorrow at least.”

  “I wanna say yes—the idea of it.”

  “We’ll come back to sort out the house and everything later. We’ll get your bills caught up so you won’t need to worry about that. I know that it’s sudden and there are a lot of details to work out, but I really think it could be a good thing,” Blu said, her voice rising in excitement.

  “I think so too.” Her mom was reaching over to pull her into a tight embrace. “A very good thing.”

  Chapter 30

  Blu sat next to her mother in first class, enjoying her delight over the roomy seats and special attention. They’d packed up a few things, made a few phone calls, and paid a lot of bills before heading for the airport. And Blu had already purchased another ticket for her mom to be able to come back and finish with her things, shipping whatever she liked to Blu’s house in La Jolla. She hadn’t mentioned anything yet to her mother, but she was thinking that if she could catch up on some work over the next few days, maybe she and Jemma would join Linda for the trip back.

  She looked at her mother, face pressed to the window of the plane as they flew further and further away from New York. Towards a better life for you, Blu thought. She really wanted that for her, and it felt good that she was able to do it for her mother. Out of everything good that had happened to Blu, this was by far the most miraculous.

  Her mother turned towards her then, smiling. “Thank you.”

  Blu smiled back. “You’re welcome. Thank you for agreeing to give my little plan a try.”

  “Blu, there’s nothing little about this.” Her mother laughed and then her expression turned serious. “What you’re doing—what you’ve offered me—is life-changing for me.”

  “I’m happy to do it. It’s the right thing to do and it’s—it’s what I want, too—more than anything now,” Blu said.

  “I don’t just mean the financial bits—and everything amazing that comes with you taking that burden from me—because that is really amazing…”

  Blu nodded for her to continue.

  “But the opportunity that you’re giving me to be back in your life—with you and Jemma—that’s something I never imagined could happen. Even when things were good for those few days in San Diego, I never imagined that I’d get to spend much more time with you than that.” Her mother was wiping away tears now, obviously choked up, and Blu felt her own tears coming in response.

  “You know, this has been a real journey for me too—it’s been good for me. Coming out here to see you one more time—that was a total leap of faith for me. Something I never would have done, even six months ago.”

  Blu’s mom reached over to take her hand. “I’m so glad you did.”

  Blu laughed. “Me too.”

  Her mother’s face was serious again, like there was more she wanted to say.

  “What is it?” Blu asked.

  “There’s something else I want to say to you—I’m not sure that I’ve expressed it very well at other times lately, and it’s important to me.”

  “Sure.” Blu gave her mom’s hand a squeeze.

  “I had a lot of time to think about you and Jemma while I was in rehab. A lot of things came up for me that I worked out with my therapist there—a lot that I’m still working out. It’s hard, you know—dealing with all of the guilt.” She looked down for a moment, then took a deep breath, looking like she needed it for the courage to continue.

  “I want to thank you, Blu.” Her mother looked her in the eyes. “To genuinely thank you for taking Jemma away from me—from Harold.” She was crying now, and Blu felt more tears stinging her own eyes as she felt her own wall of guilt coming down, brick by brick, transgression by transgression.

  “God knows what would have happened to her.” She wiped her hand across her face in a fast, angry motion. “I can’t believe that I was so self-consumed, when I was going to prison, that I would have even entertained the idea that Harold could take care of a baby.”

  “He would not have taken care of her,” Blu said, wiping away her own tears at the memory of how she’d found Jemma crying in her crib the day that she’d taken the baby from her mother’s house. Harold had been passed out on the sofa, none the wiser that she was even there to relieve him of his duties as father. She’d not even thought about what she was going to do until days after; she swooped up the few clothes, diapers, and other things that she could stuff into her backpack, before swaddling the baby up tight in the one blanket that lay tossed outside the crib. She’d taken her away from there on the bus and never looked back.

  “And—” Blu continued in a whisper. “He would have hurt her—once she was old enough.” She had known that with every fiber of her being, and she wouldn’t have stood by to let Jemma have that kind of start in life. She deserved far better than that.

  Her mom was sobbing next to her, and Blu reached to bring her near for a tight hug. “It’s okay, Mom. We’re both okay.”

  Her mother looked at her with tear-stained cheeks. “And Jemma—was she okay—when she was a baby, I mean?”

  Blu nodded carefully. ‘She was fussy, but I didn’t have any idea if that was normal or not. I think she was okay, yes.”

  “I did try so hard once I found out I was pregnant, but it was a few months in before I got help—before I was on the methadone program—I just wondered—I had no idea really if it was too late or—or how that all affected her.”

  Blu smiled at her, wanting to reassure her now. “Well, I’m not as sure about when she was a baby—I had no real experience with what to expect with that. But I can tell you that she’s been what I’d consider a pretty normal kid.”

  Her mom looked up, her eyes hopeful. “She—she does okay in school then?”

  Blu laughed. “Yes, aside from getting in trouble a lot for being too chatty, she makes good grades and does very well when she wants to. Admittedly she’s become a bit of a prima donna lately, but that is my doing, not yours.” Blu grinned. “I’m hoping maybe that is something you can help me with.” Blu winked.

  Her mom laughed too. “I’m so relieved to hear all of this. It’s haunted me for years, really—that my drug use might have affected her—I’m sure it didn’t make things easy on her. I me
an, I know that, but I didn’t know about the long-term affects—what I might have done to her.” Her mom’s face lit up then. “But from the little bit of time that I have spent with her, she seems like an absolutely lovely little girl, so I was hopeful—ya know?”

  Blu nodded her head, and it was her turn to ask some uncomfortable questions—the details of a few things that they needed to work out before their arrival in San Diego.

  “Chase and Jemma are going to meet us at the airport.” Blu smiled, happy for the chance for her mother to get to know Chase as well as Jemma. “Jemma was beyond excited when I talked to her last night. Oh, just so you know, she has this idea—of what grandmas do with their grandchildren—that includes a lot of baking. Do you bake cookies?” Blu asked, laughing at her own question.

  Her mother laughed too. “No, not really—but I’m certainly willing to give it a try.”

  Blu continued. “So, I think we should talk about how we are going to handle everything with Jemma—the truth, I mean.” Blu looked down at her hands. It was something that she hated to think about. This big lie that she continued to keep from her daughter—from Jemma. God, do I need to stop thinking of her as my daughter? The idea seemed foreign to her after all this time. Jemma was her daughter. Blu was the only mother that she’d ever known.

  Blu’s mother reached out to grab her hand again, squeezing it as she did so. “We can deal with it however you like. I’m not going to do or say anything that doesn’t go along with your wishes when it comes to Jemma. I need you to know that.”

  “I do. I do know that.” Blu attempted a smile. “I think—at least for now—we’ll just have to let Jemma continue to believe that you are her grandma. God, it’s so hard for me to imagine telling her the truth, ya know?” She looked over at her mom.