Forgetting Yesterday

by Meg Jolie

  The picnic had turned into a good ol’ fashioned potluck.

  Best of all, Alex had asked me to invite my dad. He had gladly accepted the invitation. My stomach rolled unexpectedly. Meeting each other’s parents, having his parents meet my dad, it felt like such a big step.

  I was so ready for it.

  *******

  The scent of charcoal floated through the air. Alex finished tending to the grill, getting the coals ready for putting the meat on. I glanced around his spacious back yard again. We had a few tables set up, draped in festive table coverings. Lawn chairs were scattered throughout.

  I was feeling anxious and wanted to keep busy but there was only so much prep that needed to be done when everyone was contributing to the food.

  “Are you nervous?” he asked from a few feet away from me on the deck.

  “Maybe a little,” I admitted. “Mostly I’m just excited. How about you? Are you nervous?”

  He made a comically somber face. “Of course. It’s not every day I meet my girlfriend’s dad for the first time. It is, however,” he said as he pulled me in for a hug, “going to be the last first time.”

  He leaned down to nuzzle my neck and I laughed at his statement.

  “You’re it for me, baby,” he murmured.

  “You’re it for me too,” I assured him. I knew that he was.

  This was what love should feel like. This feeling of peace, contentment. This feeling of a fluttering heart and melting knees. This feeling of wanting him to be as happy as I was in every moment.

  “You know,” Alex said, “I was thinking. Maybe you should move in with me.” He cast a nervous glance my way. His request was so unexpected, I wasn’t quite sure what to say. He took my silence for disapproval. “If Claire’s getting married, Sean is probably going to be moving in with her. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you stayed. But I just want you to know, you are more than welcome to move in with me. Also,” he gnawed the inside of his cheek for a moment. “I’m hoping Jason won’t be a problem anymore, but I’d feel better if I had you around.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “You want me to move in so you can keep an eye on me?” I didn’t want the invitation to be out of fear. More importantly, I didn’t want to make a decision based on fear.

  And I wouldn’t.

  I had seen Jason. I’d spoken to him.

  He’d seemed different to me. I really did believe that he’d changed. Or at the very least that he was trying hard to change. I’d tried to explain that to Alex but he was having a hard time buying it. I couldn’t blame him.

  He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “No, Zoey. I want you to move in with me because I love you. I’m anxious to start building a life with you. I’m not saying we have to jump into it. But maybe sometime before Claire and Sean’s wedding?”

  “Oh,” I said, the single word came out as a breath sigh. “Well then. That’s kind of hard to say no to. I mean, if you’re asking because you love me,” I said lightly.

  “Yeah?” he asked with a hopeful smile.

  I nodded. “Yeah, I would love to move in with you. If you’re sure that’s what you want.”

  “I’m sure,” he said, all teasing disappearing from his tone. “I want you to move in with me. Someday, I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you and then grandkids with you. I want to grow old and gray with you.”

  “Sounds perfect,” I sighed.

  The sound of a car turning into his drive cut our conversation short.

  “Hey, I forgot to tell you. I mentioned to Mom what you said about the centerpieces at Bianca’s.”

  “You what?” I asked. I slapped him on the shoulder with one hand and slapped the other hand over my mouth, suddenly feeling horrified. “You weren’t supposed to tell her that!”

  “Relax,” he said with a laugh. “She agreed with me. In fact, now that they’re back in town, she plans on calling The Petal Pusher to line something up. Maybe a weekly delivery of some simple centerpieces, or something. I just thought I should let you know because she might bring it up today.”

  I could still feel the heat in my cheeks. “She wasn’t offended?” I asked as another car turned in.

  “No,” he assured me. “She thought it was a ‘fabulous idea’.” He mimicked his mother on the last part of the sentence, making my embarrassment fade as I laughed.

  “Thank goodness,” I muttered. I grabbed his hand as yet another car pulled up. Everyone was right on time. “We better go greet everyone,” I said as I tugged him along.

  We made our way down the deck steps and rounded the corner of the house. I realized Dad’s car was first in the driveway. It was so like him to be the first one here. They didn’t see us approaching, too wrapped up in greeting each other.

  I smiled to myself as I watched Dad and the older couple that could only be Alex’s parents. They were already laughing over something that had been said. Further down the driveway, a woman a little older than us was chasing a toddler that was running off to the trees while the man I assumed to be her husband hoisted a baby into the crook of her arm.

  “That’s my sister Stella and her husband Ben. Their kids are Tyson and Tanner,” he said. As the last car rolled in he laughed. “And always a few minutes late would be my sister Beth and her husband, Jeff. They’ve got two kids, Alicia and Cody and another one the way.”

  It was then that his parents glanced our direction.

  “There you two are!” his mother said with a huge smile. She walked toward us, pulling us into a double hug.

  “It’s so good to finally meet you!” Audrey said.

  “It’s nice to meet you too.”

  “This is my husband, Dale,” she said as she backed away a bit.

  “Zoey,” Dale acknowledged me with a smile and a nod. “We’ve heard an awful lot about you.”

  “We sure have!” Stella piped up as she walked toward us with her wriggling toddler.

  “Everyone,” I said, “this is my Dad, Leo.” I walked over to him and pulled him in for a long hug.

  “Looks like you picked a good one this time,” Dad said quietly enough that only I could hear.

  “I sure did,” I agreed.

  There was chattering and laughing as greeting and introductions continued on. I was amazed at how much he and his sisters looked like their mother. The three women were a chatty bunch and I instantly felt at ease.

  Finally, Alex corralled his family, leading them to the backyard.

  Dale and Dad hit it off immediately. The two of them grabbed a couple of beers as they took a seat away from the noise of the kids, under the shade of an oak tree.

  Audrey, Alex’s sisters and I set to work putting the food out. Alex got busy with his grilling. The enticing aroma of burgers, brats and steaks filled the air.

  “How’s it going?” he asked as I hopped up the deck steps.

  “Great,” I said with a smile. I’d been on my way into the house to get a refill on the lemonade. I stood beside him for a moment, taking in the busy sight of his backyard. “Your family is so nice,” I honestly said. “And my dad looks happier than I’ve seen him in years. But I just realized something.”

  “What’s that?” Alex asked as he eased away from the grill.

  “I realized what I missed out on by not having a big family. I was an only child. I never had this,” I said as my hand swept out toward the yard. “I never had siblings and I don’t have nieces or nephews. When Dad and I get together, it’s just us.”

  He laughed. “Is this too much for you? ’Cause it’s always like this. It’s always loud and busy and…well, loud.”

  Two of the kids shrieked in excitement right then, as if to accentuate what their uncle had to say.

  I laughed at his explanation and at the kids’ timing. “No it’s not too much. I love it. I want this. I want a family and kids running all over. More than one so they’ll always have someone in their life. So their kids will have cousins.”

  He leaned over and pulled me into a
kiss. It was probably a bit indecent for a backyard picnic, in front of our parents and the rest of the family…But I didn’t really care.

  That kiss told me everything I needed to know:

  Someday, we were going to have it all.

  Coming soon….

  Out now…

  Holding On excerpt…

  Chapter 1

  “This can’t be happening. It just can’t be,” Quinn muttered to the empty bathroom. Empty other than herself…and three impossible to ignore pregnancy tests. All of them confirming the same thing.

  She was only five days late. But she was on the pill so five days—well, when you look at the little pills organized so neatly in the little package—it made things kind of obvious. Five days, three tests and nearly a gallon of water later she had three accusatory, irrefutable little strips of proof in her hand.

  “This can’t be happening!” she repeated, louder this time. Her voice was laced with something—possibly hysteria—and sounded unnervingly high-pitched. The brightly colored bathroom began to blur. The purple and turquoise accents blended together and then morphed into an ugly gray. She leaned against the wall as she slumped to the floor. Leaning back, she closed her eyes. She was desperately wishing the whole situation would simply do the impossible and go away.

  “I’m coming in!” her little sister, Carly warned. The bathroom door slowly swung open. She had a huge grin on her face as she slipped inside and spotted Quinn sitting on the floor.

  “Don’t!” Quinn wailed. “Don’t look so happy. This can’t be happening!” she lamented for the third and final time.

  Carly dropped down on the floor next to her sister. She was still smiling as she pulled her into a tight sideways hug. They both leaned back against the wall.

  “Oh, Quinn,” she said softly as she took the bundle of proof from her hand. “It’s happening. I’m going to be a fabulous auntie! The best one, ever. And you, you will be a fabulous mom. And Jake—”

  Quinn groaned cutting her off as she fastened her hand over her face. “He’s going to be so disappointed in me.”

  “Um, no,” she said sharply, “I don’t think so. You didn’t do this alone. Besides, Jake loves you. You know that. Everyone knows that.”

  She glanced at her sister. Other than their strawberry blond hair, they looked nothing alike. And even their hair was barely a similarity. Quinn’s was a mass of wavy ringlets. Carly’s was smooth as could be. Quinn’s eyes were like their mom’s. A pale sky blue. Carly’s eyes were like their dad’s. A soft golden brown. Worst of all, in Quinn’s mind, was the fact that her little sister was three inches taller than her.

  Apparently, she’s also more logical than me, she thought with a sigh.

  “This was not how I had planned to spend spring break,” she sniffled. Carly gave her arm a squeeze before reaching up to grab the box of Kleenex that was resting on the bathroom vanity.

  “I know but everything will be okay. I promise,” Carly said. She plucked a tissue out of the box and handed it to her sister.

  Quinn had stuck around their hometown of Lanford because she’d planned on living at home the first two years of college. She attended their local university. The initial plan was to get her associate degree, then move on to her degree in accounting at a larger university. However, things had gotten serious with Jake. Since Jake was older than her, and actually had a real job which prevented him from following her anywhere, she’d decided to stay put. Technically, she lived in the dorms. Actually, she stayed with Jake about ninety-five percent of the time.

  Her roommate was alright. But that could’ve been because they barely saw each other. Jake had asked her to move in with him a while ago. Her parents had not approved. They didn’t believe in living together before marriage. They held this belief so firmly that they insisted she adhere to their rules even though she was twenty-two. Because they paid her tuition, they ended up having a say about where she lived while she was in school. The dorm had been the perfect solution. While it gave to them the appearance that she lived there, for the most part, she didn’t. She strongly suspected that they knew this. They just pretended, for their own peace of mind, not to.

  Her roommate, Veronica, loved their arrangement. If Quinn wasn’t at Jake’s, some nights she’d simply come home and stay at her parents’ house. On a rare occasion when Jake had to work out of town, she was likely to stay at the dorm. That didn’t happen too often. She was a senior and too old to stay in the dorms, in her opinion. She did, however, return to the dorm room during the day to study between classes.

  Sometimes.

  So they were more or less roommates in name only. Quinn needed a place to pretend to stay. Veronica covered for her on the very rare occasion that her mom randomly showed up. Other than a few well-placed belongings for those unforeseen drop-ins, Veronica essentially had the whole room completely to herself. It worked out well for both of them.

  Though Carly was only a year younger, she was only a sophomore this year. She’d taken a year off between high school and college because she hadn’t felt ready for college just yet. Then she had gone away to school. Because their spring breaks coincided, she’d come home for the week. She’d thought a fun, week long string of partying in her home town, with old friends and her big sister sounded like an acceptable way to spend the week.

  Surely, she had not envisioned any part of that time sitting on the cold tile floor of the spotless bathroom in their childhood home. Their parents were both at work.

  Carly had gotten in late the night before.

  Students weren’t allowed in the dorms over break. They locked them up. Quinn stayed at her parents to make them happy. Knowing Carly would be coming, she actually didn’t mind.

  Not because she was avoiding Jake the night before, she tried, unsuccessfully to convince herself. She’d been so exhausted that she hadn’t waited up for her sister. In the morning, after their parents had left for work, and while Carly was still sleeping, she’d crept out of the house.

  By the time she returned, Carly was up, fortifying herself with an entire pot of coffee.

  “Where did you run off to this morning and why didn’t you take me with?” Carly demanded as she’d rushed into the entryway to greet her.

  Quinn held up the brown paper bag and swiped at her tear stained face.

  Wordlessly, Carly had taken the bag from her hands and peered inside.

  When she looked back up at her sister, her eyes were wide and questioning.

  “Let’s do this,” was all she said.

  She’d filled up a pitcher with water, handed Quinn a glass and then ushered her into the bathroom they’d shared growing up. Obviously, she’d been standing right outside of the door, waiting for the news.

  “I know this isn’t how you wanted to spend the week,” Carly said consolingly. “This is better.”

  Her cheeriness was only adding to Quinn’s misery.

  “Come on, Quinn. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You graduate in two months. Jake’s got a decent job. You’ve talked about marriage,” she pointed out. Who would have thought her little sister would be the never-ending voice of reason?

  Jake did have a decent job. He was two years older than Quinn. He worked in his family’s business. He was an electrician and had been working as one for a few years now. He’d just purchased a house. Quinn, however, still had a few months of school left before she got her degree.

  “We’ve talked about marriage. But not seriously,” Quinn mumbled.

  “Oh, come on!” Carly said with a roll of her eyes. “Any talk of marriage is serious.”

  Ignoring her, Quinn continued on. “We’ve never talked about kids. I don’t even know if he wants any. Ever. I mean, I assume he does. But now? I don’t think he wants them now! I don’t want them now! I don’t want a baby yet! I haven’t changed a diaper for years. Not since I babysat for the Hanson’s. I’m supposed to be looking for a job in a few months. Not just a job but starting my career. Who’s going
to want to hire a pregnant girl with a belly out to here?” She held her hand out ridiculously far before crumpling into tears. She realized she was babbling. “Mom and Dad are going to kill me!”

  Carly laughed. She actually had the nerve to laugh.

  “Quinnie,” she chided. Carly and Luke, Quinn’s best friend, were the only two Quinn could stand hearing that nickname from. “You’re twenty-two. You and Jake have been together for a year and a half. It’s not like you’re sixteen or anything. It’s March now. You’ll have your degree in May. The baby won’t be due until…” She paused for a second, throwing together the numbers in her head. “Probably around the end of November? Does that sound right?”

  She nodded and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I think so.” Nine months. Nine months to get used to the idea of having a baby…

  “Oh my god!” Carly squealed. “You’re going to have a baby!”

  “Yeah,” Quinn said as she motioned to the pile of tests on the floor. “I know.”

  “It’ll be here in time for Christmas!” Carly said with a huge grin. “Oh my goodness! Think of all the fun we’ll have shopping! There’s going to be so much to buy! A crib, a car seat, a diaper bag…they make really cute ones! Toys and clothes! So many clothes! Oh…” she said with a sappy look on her face. She slid her arms away from Quinn so she could clasp her hands in front of her chest. “Just think of how cute it’ll be at Christmas! You’ll have to get it one of those little red velvet outfits.”

  “No, no way,” Quinn said. “We’re not dressing my baby up like Santa Claus.”

  My baby.

  While the small pile of tests on the floor provided the proof…the words themselves were what made the whole thing become real.

  “Why not?” Carly asked. She sounded completely disappointed in her sister. “Have you seen those little red velvet dresses with little black belts?”

  “Yes, and they’re ridiculous,” Quinn pointed out. “You’re the one with the fashion sense. How can you even think of forcing a baby into something like that?”